You can break my heart in two
But when it heals, it beats for you
I know it's forward, but it's true
Won't lie, I'd go back to you
You know, my thoughts are runnin' loose
It's just a thing you make me do
And I could fight, but what's the use?
I know I'd go back to you
- Back to you, Selena Gomez
27| Evelyn (Part 2)
Evelyn came home one hour ago. She couldn't sit, she couldn't stand, she couldn't breathe. She was pacing down her room from one end to another, biting her nails, stomach churning, heart beating too fast, palm sweating.
Evelyn couldn't relax. She had tried to sleep. It didn't work. She had tried music, turned out she didn't like any sound right now. She had tried to do her homework. She ended up doing all her maths wrong. Then she closed her books, she threw her pillows around, she tore down her bed sheet. Now she was sitting in a mess with her head buried in her knees.
It was his fault. He started it. Quinton Rogers.
Evelyn still remembered exactly how they met. Evelyn had just moved in Nebraska. She remembered not being so miserable, self-depreciative and insecure like she was now. In fact, she held herself higher than anybody else.
Evelyn was shopping for groceries. She was looking for chips around the shelves, when she crashed into someone. She turned around and muttered a quick sorry along with the lines, "I didn't see you coming."
And boy did she saw him coming.
He was tall, that's the first thing she realized.Evelyn looked up at his face and she never looked away.
Stormy grey eyes that had tons of mystery hidden in them, with gorgeous dirty blonde hair that was pushed back from his forehead. He was sporting a black sweatshirt and a jeans, casual yet it looked so good on him. When she looked at his lips, he had a smile in them. There was something hidden behind that smile.
He didn't say anything in reply of her sorry. He stared at her with those grey eyes and that smile. And Evelyn couldn't move, she was inside his magnetic field, which was too strong for Evelyn to move away from. Her heart beat thud, thud, her palm sweated. She gulped and forcing herself she looked away.
"Hey," He said. His voice was as smooth as silk and Evelyn felt her nerves going askew.
He leaned on the stand with his hands inside his jeans pockets.. Evelyn blushed from blue to red to every single color that ever existed.
"You new here?" He asked.
Suddenly Evelyn throat felt dry. No words came out. Her heart was beating in her chest, in her ears, in her hands, in her fingertips.
"Yes, I- I am." Evelyn never had a stuttering problem. And then he happened.
"Oh," He looked over to check what she was buying. "Which school you go?" He asked straightening his posture.
"Lakeview High." Evelyn replied, this time, no stutters.
"Great." He said and walked away.
Wait, I don't know his name. He didn't say his name, neither asked for mine. Evelyn's heart sank. Where would I find him now? Evelyn didn't even get his name, let alone number.
The next week school started. As it was first day, Evelyn put on a cute summer dress and just had a touch of makeup. When she entered the hallway, she noticed that guy with grey eyes and blonde hair right away. He was standing by the hallway, among a few other people. He was staring at Evelyn, from where he stood.
And Evelyn's heart beat came back, the thud thud came back. the sweaty palms came back, the dried out throat came back.
Then he smiled. She waited for him to make a move, to introduce himself but he didn't. He looked away. Evelyn's heart sank again.
Evelyn made friends in classes she joined. They told her everything, what's hot what's not, who's hot. who's not. At the end of the school day, she had a few friends behind her, she knew who exactly that guy was and she had taken a challenge. If he was playing hard to get, then Evelyn would see how far this Quinton Rogers could go.
When they passed each other in hallway, he would smile. Evelyn would held her head high and smile back. She would have her flocks of girls behind her who would 'ooooo' or cooed after he passed. Weeks passed, he still didn't make a move.
Evelyn was impatient. She won't make a move herself. They were playing hard to get and Evelyn had sworn to win. It was Quinton Rogers, he could take any girl any day. And Evelyn was Evelyn Reyes and she would show him, she could do the same.
The day, Evelyn thought she would talk to Max, Roger's best friend and get something out of it. She wore a cute outfit, with her hair straightened, nails painted, lipstick on her lips. Evelyn was ready. Until, Quinton stopped her in the hallways.
"So there's this party tonight, will you like to join me?" He said with that smile.
"Ye-No. No. I can't actually," They were playing hard and the rule was not to say yes. Evelyn wouldn't say yes. His smile didn't falter. Though he was a bit surprised.
"Why?" He asked leaning against the locker with the same posture.
"I have plans with my friends." Evelyn replied quickly, lying of course. Everything was fair in love and war. It was war.
"Oh, what plans?" He seemed relaxed like he had no other works to do other than asking Evelyn out.
"I have planned to throw them a surprise party." Evelyn lied.
"Oh, can I squeeze in then?" He asked.
"Nope. I don't think so. I don't think I can squeeze such a big group of friends of yours." She shrugged and tried to walk off but he held her wrist.
"Who said, my friends will be coming?" Quinton replied. He closed the distance and whispered into her ear, "It will be just me."
And that was it. Evelyn Reyes drowned.
So Evelyn had to go to one of her bitches, she had to arrange a freaking party which was not in any kinds of plan. She had invite people. She had to be ready. She had to look perfect. She had to wear the perfect dress, had the perfect makeup.
Quinton didn't arrive, till it all died down, till Evelyn's heart had broke a little.
"Sorry, I am late. Had some work." Quinton said. Evelyn ignored him.
"Hey, I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you wait for me." Said Quinton.
That was exactly what he wanted. He was enjoying making Evelyn desperate very very much. And Evelyn was no doll.
"Oh who was waiting? It's time for me to go home. Bye Rogers." Evelyn said with a straight face as if she didn't care.
She cared. She was sad. She was disappointed. But she won't let him see.
"Hey, I am really sorry." Quinton said again.
Evelyn shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. She turned to walk away. But he grabbed her wrist.
"Don't go," Quinton whispered. "Stay."
It was a request. Evelyn couldn't deny that. Evelyn stayed.
They snuck out from the party to the roof. That night they watched stars, a lot of them. They talked, about everything. That night Evelyn felt she had everything, she was happy. She had stolen a few glances at him already. She had taken time to check out his hair, those was brown to the roots but blonde as they grew. His eyes were grey but had every color in them. That night Evelyn figured it all out.
He just smiled.
After that, there was no ditching anymore, no game, no playing hard to get. Quinton made sure to come at her house to pick her up. He made to sure to carry her backpack, he always made sure to have lunch with her. Evelyn even took up cheer-leading for him.They were everything Evelyn could ask for, she dreamed about. They were the couple. People wanted to be like them.
Evelyn was in love like the way she imagined it, the butterflies, the heart beats, the sweaty palms every single feeling was there. And the best feeling was Quinton reciprocated everything she felt.
So when one day Evelyn was bored she invited Quinton over her house. Her dad was God knows where. Quinton came in with pizzas and movies, romcom, Evelyn's favorite genre.
"I always knew there should be some reason why I love you." Evelyn said as she welcomed him in. He replied with that lyrical smile, it had never gotten old.
Yes, they have already said the words after four months of the relationship, he said it first, Evelyn followed after.
They ate pizza, they finished the movie, they had made out, they were just sitting by the couch idly when Quinton asked a question, a simple question.
"Where is your dad all the time?"
Evelyn said something bizarre, realizing she actually didn't have any answer. It was followed up by something like, "He is rarely home."
"Yes, I have noticed." Quinton replied. "Hey, don't feel sad. That means we have the house all to ourselves." He said with a meaningful smile.
Evelyn didn't feel anything seeing that smile. She felt empty.
She proceeded to feel emptier as the weeks went by. Quinton tried out every single way to make Evelyn feel happy but she didn't. She didn't know why. She had questions, a lot of them. She wanted to ask her dad.
She wanted to know everything and when she asked him, he refused to answer any of them.
The days turned colder, Evelyn felt emptier. She remembered things from her childhood. She cried for the first time that she was a mistake and nobody wanted her. She cried because she had the false idea of pretending everything was perfect, she was flying until she was brought back down to earth.
It was by Quinton. He broke her false perfect dreams. He brought reality along with him. And Evelyn didn't like reality.
He was the only one who could save Evelyn from it. So Evelyn called him up. Every time she cried, every time she felt sad, every time she could take it no more. He would listen, everything she had to say. He would come by when it was needed. He comforted her, he kissed her until she was numb.
Evelyn had been feeling sad lately. Quinton was sitting by her as she rested her head on his shoulder. She looked up at him.Those grey eyes didn't seem so pulling anymore, that damn smile didn't give butterflies anymore. Something was off. Evelyn was losing it.
"You are not the girl I have loved," Quinton stated.
Evelyn shuddered. The cold fear spread across her spine to the core.
"What do you mean?" She asked being desperate.
Quinton ran a hand through his blonde hair. He was frustrated.
"Evelyn, we are 16. But when I am with you, I see nothing, I see no hope. You break me." Quinton said. "You break me every time you cry. Evelyn, you have been crying a lot."
Evelyn quickly wiped away her tears. She couldn't tell him how small she felt, how much she hated herself, how she had woken up from the perfect dream, how she hated everything around her and she didn't knew why she even felt that way.
"I won't cry, I promise." She said with her shaky voice.
"This is not how it works." Quinton shook his head hopelessly. He looked straight up to her eyes.
"You call me every time you feel bad and I come up to make you feel better. Then I think the whole day, how I am going to make you feel happy. But how long this can go on, Evelyn? I am not your therapist." He said.
"What are you talking about, Quinton?" Evelyn was angry. The hot anger built up in her chest. It was battling to come out. He was making it sound like everything was Evelyn's fault.
"Evelyn, it may sound bad, but you need a therapist." Quinton said like it was the easiest thing in the world to say.
"You think I am crazy?!" Evelyn yelled, "You think I am sick?"
"I am not saying you are sick. I am just saying sometimes when it gets hard, we need help. Right now, you need help." Quinton said like he was an adult and Evelyn was just a child. But she wasn't.
"Oh, I get it, Quinton. You are tired of carrying my baggage." Evelyn spat.
"I didn't mean it that way." Quinton said. He reached out to touch Evelyn's hand. But she won't let him.
"Don't touch me!" Evelyn said with tears flowing out her face like streams. "Don't you dare!"
"Evelyn, try to understand." Quinton said with a pitiful look.
"Yes, I understand. I understand it all now. You are tired of me, Quinton. You saw you can't save me, now you don't want me anymore. I really get it, Quinton" Evelyn said shaking in her tears which blurred out her visions. He made her feel even smaller than she felt.
"Evelyn," He had said.
"Just leave already, " Evelyn said turning away from him. "Leave!"
Quinton left. He didn't even looked back once. He left Evelyn when he knew Evelyn was falling into her abyss, from where Evelyn might never come back. But he didn't try.
Such a loser.
Evelyn breathed out coming back to present. She closed her eyes shut as she lay flat on the hardwood floor. Everything inside her head hurt. Her tears had flowed and dried by the side of her face.
Thanks to anxiety, she went through all of it again.
Evelyn knew what her nightmare meant, where she falls from the height as a man pushes her and Quinton stands there watching. Evelyn was in love, she was high, far away from the ground. Then that guy, her thoughts and anxiety transformed into a human form comes and pushes her down. Quinton watches her fall. But he doesn't stop her.
He said he loved her. He said he would save her.
Evelyn's chest heaved up and down as she took the small breathes.
Mason and Quinton was not the same person.
But Evelyn didn't want to hope for anything good and then seeing it shattered. She was tired. She was tired, fighting for so long. She was so sick of pushing her feelings away when she knew it was right there. She would give up. She could not do this.
I told you. Said the nagging voice.
Yes, you were right.I am so done putting up my walls.
They are not the same person. But if Mason decided to turn out like him, there would be very little to break off Evelyn. She didn't have much to lose.
Let him break me. Let him do whatever he wants. I don't care anymore.
~~~
Author's note: I am amazed by my editing quality. This one was 3400 words long and I squeezed it into 2000 words. The next chapter is 27| Evelyn( part 3). Awesome I know right. So many things happen in a day if you are stressed out.
Now that finally, finally Evelyn's walls are down, you guys have no idea, no freaking idea what is coming next, just wait and read. I'll amaze you. *winks*
Until Next chapter.