Age 26...
Vincent lets his thoughts run rampant when he steps into the inviting stream of hot water, pouring in from the shower. The entire bathroom is lightly covered in mist as a slight fog clings onto any glass and mirrored surface in sight.
It's finally summer break, and Vincent would be lying if he said he wasn't desperate for the vacation. He wanted to give teaching elementary schoolers one final chance to prove they were worthy of his time, but Vincent just couldn't take it anymore. They are too much, and half of the time they don't even comprehend the shit that Vincent is saying. He can confidently say that he doesn't have the patience for those children.
Vincent closes his eyes and cards his fingers through his hair, making sure every strand is just as soaked as the next. The water trailing down his back provides a nice warm feeling that Vincent definitely needs to both soothe his mind and wake him up.
Vincent would never admit this out loud, but he wants to be able to bond with those who love reading just as much as him without people tossing him glances of judgment and the fear of kids stereotyping him. It's kind of hard to share a passion with a kindergartener, much less a second-grader, when all they care about is a hungry caterpillar. Next school year, Vincent is transitioning into an eighth-grade teacher and he couldn't be more excited. Even if they will probably hate him for the amount of work he gives and his I-don't-give-a-shit attitude, Vincent will feel like he belongs in his profession. Not only that, but it's like a big 'fuck you' to his parents to show that he is content and comfortable; something they claimed he wouldn't be if he didn't take their advice on how to live life.
Vincent would be lying if he said that he didn't want time to slow down before he returned to work, though. He and Hayden have been so busy for the past few months that it honestly feels like he hasn't gotten to cherish having his boyfriend by his side. Hayden has literally been jumping from job to job, certainly taking Vincent's advice to find something he is passionate about, but it is taking a toll on both of their mental healths since neither one feels a sense of security with where they are at right now. Vincent can see that it's affecting Hayden more than he would ever admit.
Vincent hasn't told Hayden yet, but he really wants to buy a house together, but that will only be accomplished after Hayden has a fixed income, and Vincent would never rush Hayden in this aspect. He's already hard enough on himself.
Under the torrent of water, Vincent doesn't notice when Hayden quietly pries the shower door open and steps inside. He slightly startles Vincent when he kisses all across his shoulders before happily fusing his cheek to his boyfriend's slick back as his arms coil around his neck. His eyes slip shut as if he's still in the comfort of his bed with Vincent lying next to him.
Vincent laughs because of course the first thing Hayden wants to do when he gets up in the morning is be clingy.
"Why are you taking a shower without me?" Hayden mumbles, and Vincent can hear the familiar pout in his tone. Hayden is feeling offended because often his favorite part of the day is their morning showers because of the closeness he shares with Vinny that he can't get anywhere else. His boyfriend is undeniably his and he wouldn't give that up for the world.
"Sorry," Vincent chuckles, Hayden's lips tugging up at the sound. "I wanted to let you sleep. You deserve a break."
Hayden doesn't think he does but he knows better than to voice those thoughts because he'll probably get slapped.
Hayden steps away from his boyfriend and tugs on his arm; a request to make him turn around. Vincent easily follows the command.
Vincent laughs softly at Hayden's drowsy appearance. He reaches out and brushes Hayden's cheek before saying, "You have pillow creases on your face."
Hayden gives Vincent that little lopsided smile of his as he tilts his head slightly and gazes into Vincent's eyes. Despite how Hayden's eyes are almost crusted shut with sleep, Vincent can feel the love radiating from them and, for once, he can't pull away or feel embarrassed by how smitten he is with his idiot boyfriend.
Vincent takes in Hayden's whole body. It's not a suggestive stare but rather an appreciative one for how beautiful he is, even with that scar of his. However, something stops him dead in his tracks.
"Hayden, why the fuck do you still have underwear on?" Vincent questions shortly, staring at the article of clothing as it gets soaked in the shower.
"Shit, do I?" he says in confusion before looking down.
He mumbles something under his breath before briefly disappearing from the shower and coming back in once he is completely naked. He triumphantly smiles as if it takes away how much of a dumbass he just was. In Hayden's defense, he didn't care that he was disoriented when he woke up because he stumbled toward the bathroom when he realized his love was soaking up their special time without him.
Vincent would be lying if he said he didn't love Hayden's cute bedhead and the way he immediately clambers to him every morning the second that he wakes up, no matter how much he is dazed by his sleep.
"Can I kiss you?" Hayden breathes after they have stared into the other's eyes for god knows how long.
"Why are you asking me?" Vincent snorts, his hands drifting to rest on Hayden's waist.
"I don't know!" Hayden says, flustered, allowing Vincent to slightly pull him closer without taking notice of it. "It was common courtesy. Don't make fun of me!"
"Oh, I am definitely going to make fun of you," Vincent grins. "How fucking lame is it that you have to ask me for a kiss? Where did all that game go that you claimed you had in college?"
"I'm a little rusty, okay?" Hayden huffs. "That's what happens when I start dating a grumpy, antisocial loser, who doesn't know how to flirt. My god, what have I come to?"
Vincent scoffs, his grip on Hayden's waist tightening slightly. "I know how to flirt."
"Prove it."
Yeah, Vincent doesn't know how to flirt, but he'll be damned to lose an argument against Hayden.
In an attempt to fluster his smug boyfriendânot that he would be able to fluster the shameless boy in the first placeâVincent tries to push Hayden against the tile and place his hands beside his head, but something goes horribly wrong before any of that can happen. Hayden slips at Vincent's little push and instantly one of Vincent's hands fly to catch Hayden's arm, the other unintentionally holding Hayden up by the huge red scar that trails down his thigh. Hayden lets out a short yelp at the touch, knowing that the wound has been giving him enough pain even without Vincent's hurtful grip.
When Vincent sees that he is causing his boyfriend pain, he immediately scoops Hayden up into his arms as delicately as possible. He can feel Hayden's trembling form as he wraps him in a hug. He knows that Hayden is only freaked out, reminded of when and how he got the burn wounds, but Vincent can't help but feel awful for triggering the reaction.
"God, I'm sorry," Vincent whispers, pecking Hayden everywhere that he can until his boyfriend can escape the painful memory. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."
"I k-know," Hayden says shakily, clinging to Vincent desperately with his eyes screwed shut. He tries to gain control of his breathing. "I just need a second."
Vincent nods and continues to comfort Hayden as water washes over them. Vincent grabs a loofah, lathers it up with soap, and gently begins to wash Hayden's skin without loosening his grip on him for one second.
When Hayden finally recovers, he quietly says, "Remind me in the future that your flirting is downright dangerous."
"Shut up," Vincent mutters lightheartedly, still feeling extremely guilty.
"I'm kissing you now," Hayden claims, wrapping his arms around Vinny's neck and standing on his toes so that their eye levels are equal and so Vincent has nothing else to look at but him. "Don't act like you don't like kissing me too."
Vincent rolls his eyes with a small smile before Hayden follows through with his promise. Hayden feels nothing but peace at the light, almost hesitant, touch. He tilts his head to kiss Vincent deeper, smiling when Vincent's hands begin to carefully wander his body.
When they first started dating, Vincent seldom made any moves to touch Hayden, but after a few years, it has become Vincent's nature to fulfill the touch that Hayden always wanted but never voiced.
Vincent's hands caress the brunette's neck, his chest, his ribs, his waist, his lower back, but not daring to go any lower than that because their shower time together is one for them to deepen their emotional connection and display their love without the distraction of lust.
Vincent's lips disconnect from Hayden's when they start trailing along his face and neck. Hayden sighs contently at the soft, almost ticklish, touch. Vincent getting distracted and wanting to kiss all over his boyfriend always makes Hayden smile and feel appreciated. And when Vincent's lips finally make their way back up to Hayden's, the two stay entwined for what feels like hours in the safety of their love. No one else gets to see or know about this precious moment because it belongs to them and always has.
"Love you," Hayden breathes, planting his face in Vincent's neck.
When Vincent doesn't respond, Hayden looks up accusingly to find a teasing smile on Vincent's lips.
"You sure do like to say I love you a lot."
"And you sure do love to not say it back half of the time," Hayden counters. "You're lucky I can read right through you because if not, I would think you didn't actually like me."
"Shit, you're just now figuring that out," Vincent grins, using a hand on the back of Hayden's head to bring him forward so that he can plant a kiss in his damp hair. "Aw, man."
"Shut up," Hayden smiles. "You're mean, Vinny."
"So I've been told," he laughs, knowing that he still couldn't care less about what people thought of his nature. "But I love you too...even when you are nearly choking me in your sleep."
"Kinky," Hayden muses and Vincent lightly slaps his waist. "Hey, you walked right into that one."
Vincent rolls his eyes before looking down at the suggestive smile on his boyfriend's face. Hayden not so subtly taps his cheek, wanting Vincent to fulfill the loving request. And fuck, Vincent will absolutely do it, despite just how much he hates being so lovey-dovey with another person.
Vincent kisses his cheek, nuzzling his nose in the area, causing Hayden to laugh with glee. Hayden knows that his boyfriend will never be this sappy with him in public so he never takes the softer side of him for granted.
"Are you nervous about today?" Vincent asks.
"What's today?"
"God, can your dumbass brain retain any information?" Vincent snorts.
"It can retain the alphabet, starting with 'U' and 'I,'" he smirks.
"That was so cheesy," Vincent laughs, throwing his head back and letting the sound roam free in the safety of their cozy apartment. Hayden can't help but think how beautiful he looks. "Is that how you tried to pick up girls before we got together?"
"No, I did it like this," he explains, smoothing his eyebrows out as if he isn't in the shower. His face then contorts to what Vincent assumes is supposed to be sexy, but he only looks constipated. "Your body is seventy percent water...and I'm thirsty."
"Jesus Christ," Vincent mutters. "Thank god I already knew you because there is no way in hell I would give you a chance if you approached me like that."
"You wouldn't think much of another guy approaching you anyways," Hayden smiles, knowing that his boyfriend told him that he typically wouldn't be attracted to guys and that Hayden is an exception.
"True," Vincent shrugs. "Anyways, you are getting off track. I asked if you were nervous about today."
"Uh...what's today?"
"Oh my god," Vincent chuckles, his head dropping with playful disappointment at his boyfriend's inability to remember the important shit. "We are hanging out with everyone later," Vincent prompts. "You said you wanted to tell them about us."
"Oh yeah," Hayden replies before an expression of thought crosses over his face. "Hm...I don't think I'm nervous...or I'm trying not to be."
"Good," Vincent nods. "There's no reason to worry. You know that and I know that."
Hayden nods at his boyfriend's words, noticing how he always puts so much conviction in them so whatever he says can't be anything but true.
"Besides, Sawyer and Cecilia already know so it's technically like we are only telling Leo, Asher, and Jordan."
Hayden nods again, his mind entirely soothed.
"How about you?" Hayden then asks.
"Hm?"
"How are you feeling?" Hayden clarifies. "Aren't you meeting your parents later?"
Vincent lets out a deep sigh, his eyes breaking away from Hayden's. Hayden puts a finger under Vinny's chin and pulls his face back toward him to only find predetermined defeat, like whatever is going to happen is already tearing his mind up.
"It'll be okay," Hayden whispers, trying to give Vincent an encouraging smile as he trails his hands along his firm body. Hayden plants a kiss under his jaw, holding his face in the process.
"I'm just sick of it," Vincent finally murmurs. "How can you not accept me but still want to talk to me? How can they think insulting you will want me to side with them? How can they find a way to bash my career at every chance and still ask for money? Well, I guess I shouldn't say theyâmore like my mother. How can she claim that I'm a disgrace to my legacy, culture, or some shit, but still try to make me show up for special parties and such. It's not fucking fair."
"You don't have to go, you know."
"No I do," Vincent admits, rubbing a hand over his eyes.
Not for me, but for you, Vincent thinks.
Hayden thinks that Vincent is going over to his parents' house so they can "catch up" but that isn't the case. Vincent has something big he wants to share with them, and if they don't accept it, he won't care.
"Promise you'll call me right after you meet, okay?" Hayden wonders. "Please don't shut down on me if things go haywire, Vinny. We've known each other too long for that."
"Okay." That's all Vincent can manage because he doesn't know if he'll follow through on that promise.
Nonetheless, Hayden doesn't notice it as he pecks his lips before turning his back and picking up the shampoo bottle so he can begin to wash his hair. He smiles when he feels Vincent lightly splay a hand across his stomach and reach over his shoulder to grab the bottle from him.
"Thank you, Vinny," Hayden beams, his eyes slipping shut at the smooth feeling of Vincent's gentle hands in his hair.
"Be quiet," Vincent snaps, his actions being the total opposite of his harsh words.
Hayden only grins wider.
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"God, stop emailing me!" Cecilia exclaims.
When Vincent and Hayden showed up to Jordan's apartment, they didn't expect to find an angry Cecilia, ranting on and on about her job.
"It's my fucking vacation," she groans. "Don't these people have anything better to do than talk to me? Jeez, get a life."
"Babe," Sawyer grins. "That's kind of what happens when you're a CEO."
Cecilia glares at her husband. "Don't call me that."
"Okay, babe," Hayden smiles teasingly as he takes the spot next to her on the couch.
Cecilia shoves him to the ground before putting her foot on his side assertively. Vincent tries to hold back his laugh, covering his mouth with his hand. Sawyer only rolls his eyes because Hayden should know by now not to mess with Cecilia and because his wife has never proved to be anything less than a strong woman.
"As I was saying," Cecilia continues, feeling Hayden squirming but doing nothing to move her foot. "If my employees find a way to fuck up the company in a week, then that's on them."
"That's kind of on you too considering you own the company," Jordan says from the kitchen where he is making up a quick meal for his friends.
"Nah," Cecilia says dismissively. "I'm on vacation."
Everyone laughs around the girl before Hayden's whining voice breaks up the happiness.
"Vinnyyyyyy, help me please."
"Maybe don't get yourself in that situation," Vincent replies, purposely stepping over his boyfriend and taking a seat next to Cecilia. Vincent and Cecilia fist bump in greeting.
"Vincent Arden Russell!" Hayden gasps with betrayal, hitting his shin with his fist.
"You guys hear something?" Vincent grins.
"Nope," Jordan adds.
"Hmph," Hayden huffs, a pout evident on his face as he tugs on Vincent's pant leg.
"Come on guys," Sawyer smiles. "Let's not bully the drama queen."
Sawyer physically moves Cecilia's foot off of Hayden before helping him to his feet.
He pops up and says, "I am a queen, aren't I?"
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Cecilia mutters with a sly smile.
Hayden huffs again before planting himself next to Sawyer, who happens to be sitting on a single-seat couch. Sawyer rolls his eyes when Hayden practically snuggles up to him, putting his chin on his shoulder and staring right at Vincent.
Vincent knows this game. Hayden always tries to find subtle ways to make his boyfriend jealous but it never actually works. Right now, Vincent only finds it really amusing.
"Ugh, you're not good enough," Hayden mutters before strolling into the kitchen to give attention to Jordan.
"What?" Sawyer says, taken aback by the statement.
"Anyways, does anybody know when Asher and Leo are getting here?" Vincent says curiously.
"I think they are coming straight from the airport," Cecilia answers. "So they should be here any minute."
"Little hottie and Lee Bee," Hayden cheers gleefully.
"Why is he still a man-child?" Cecilia laughs lightheartedly.
"Oh, let the man-child be," Sawyer replies. "There's no better source of entertainment than Hayden Williams."
"Amen to that!" Hayden chimes, discreetly trying to grab a chopped carrot while Jordan's back is turned only to get slapped by a wooden spoon. Hayden smiles sheepishly before turning around and scrunching his eyebrows up. "Wait...was that an insult or a compliment?"
"An insâ"
Sawyer covers Cecilia's mouth. "A compliment."
Hayden snickers giddily and tosses Sawyer a wink. "Love you, soybean."
Before anyone can say anything else, there is a light knock on the door.
"It's open!" Jordan calls out.
The door slowly opens to America's favorite couple. Asher has his arm linked around Leo's bicep as the couple walks through the door. Everyone can instantly tell that Asher is bundled up in Leo's sweatshirt with the way it extends past his waist. Not only that, but it's clear that the two have had a long journey from the bags under their eyes. However, their bright smiles certainly make up for it.
They quickly go around and greet everyone in the room before sitting on the couch, Asher's head drifting to Leo's shoulders when he feels like he can't keep his eyes open anymore.
"Wow, stranger, you are just going to fall asleep on me when we haven't seen each other in months?" Cecilia asks Asher.
"Sorry," he says sheepishly with red cheeks. "It was a long flight."
"I'm just messing with you, Asher," Cecilia smiles.
"How have you guys been?" Vincent asks, nudging Leo's arm.
"Pretty good," Leo grins like the golden boy he is. "The football season is going well so far. As for Asher, he just got his second New York Times Bestselling book."
"Leo," Asher whines, hiding his face in his husband's shoulder. "You weren't supposed to tell anyone."
"Well, I like boasting about your accomplishments, gorgeous," he claims. "You don't do it enough." Leo kisses the top of his head as everyone mutters small comments of congratulations.
Hayden starts to feel a little blue when he looks around the room and realizes that all of his friends are successful.
Vincent catches the weird look from across the room and shoots Hayden a questioning glance, but Hayden ignores it and goes back to bothering Jordan.
While Cecilia, Sawyer, Asher, and Leo are immersed in conversation, Vincent gets up off the couch to walk into the kitchen.
Jordan catches his eye and says, "Great, can you watch the pan for a second and make sure it doesn't burn. I have to go to the bathroom really fast."
"J-man!" Hayden instantly becomes defensive. "I'm standing right here! I could've watched it."
Jordan tosses him a half-smile. "Now you can watch it together."
Jordan then runs off.
Vincent grabs Hayden's arm and pulls Hayden in front of him so nobody from the living room would be able to see how close they are. He then whispers, "You tend to overthink a lot for someone who barely thinks."
"Thanks," Hayden snorts half-heartedly before he is downcast once again.
"Stop doing that to yourself," Vincent continues. "Stop reading into every little comment from our friends and using it to attack yourself. You've grown so much, and god, I'm so proud of every little thing you do, but you have got to stop comparing yourself to everyone else, including me. You run on your own time, Hay. Don't let everyone else's success deter your own."
Hayden looks up at him through his eyelashes. "How did you know what I was thinking about?" he asks quietly.
"Because I know you," Vincent says easily.
A shy smile forms on Hayden's face, but before he can say anything back, Jordan returns.
"What are we talking about?" he chirps.
"I don't know! Don't pressure me!" Hayden exclaims before rushing into the living room, no doubt being flustered by being caught so close to Vincent.
"Okayyyyy," Jordan says in confusion before turning back to the cooking food.
Vincent shakes his head with a laugh, knowing Hayden has a hard time being subtle. He swiftly follows his boyfriend into the living room and takes a seat on the only remaining sofa. Hayden, who is seated on the floor at Asher's feet, notices Vincent and just wants to be near him.
He is sick of hiding and he is sick of freaking out anytime someone gets close to figuring out that he and Vincent are together. His boyfriend deserves more than that and he does too.
Vincent gives a little nod of his head, a silent way of asking Hayden to come to him. Hayden instantly gets up and strolls over to his boyfriend, sitting on his lap in hopes that it'll be a big enough hint to their relationship.
Vincent's arm snakes around his waist and squeezes his side encouragingly.
However, even though Vincent is actively participating in conversation, nobody finds Vincent and Hayden's closeness weird when they look over at the pair. Hayden huffs disappointedly while Vincent only laughs at how adorable his boyfriend is.
Hayden begins to grow impatient because even after running his hands through Vincent's hair and smushing their cheeks together, nobody looks at them any differently.
Hayden finally snaps.
He roughly smashes his lips onto Vincent's, causing the latter to make a little choked sound in surprise. Hayden grabs his face and plunges his tongue into Vincent's mouth while Vincent is still too stunned to even reciprocate the kiss. Hayden bites Vincent's lip in the process and feels no shame in making out with his boyfriend if all his friends are that dense. It's only when the room begins to quiet around them that Hayden pulls away and looks pointedly at everyone.
"Do you understand now?" he says exasperatedly.
Jaws are practically on the floor and nobody has anything to say.
Hayden looks at Vincent for any input, but finds a nice surprise; Vincent's cheeks are stained pink. In all the time they've been together, he has never seen Vincent blush, and the sight is beyond rewarding.
"Holy crap," Hayden chuckles, leaning closer to Vincent's face. "Are you blushing?"
Vincent snaps out of his daze and harshly says, "Stop fucking looking at me." When he sees that all his friends are staring at him because of the unusual sight, he snaps at them too. "Motherfuckers, stop looking at me before I punch the shit out of all of you."
All eyes turn toward Hayden.
"Well, it's about time you told everyone you were dating," Sawyer laughs.
"Wait, you knew?" Jordan asks in shock, turning toward Sawyer accusingly.
"We both did," Cecilia chimes. "The rest of you are just slow."
"Yeah, I kind of knew too," Leo mutters, scratching the back of his neck.
"You did?" Hayden questions while Vincent is still trying to get a grip on the crap his boyfriend just pulled.
"I saw you kissing at my wedding," Leo explains.
"Dang it, Vinny," Hayden sighs, turning to his boyfriend. "We got caught."
"Wait, wait, wait," Asher interjects. "You're dating dating? Like boyfriend and boyfriend?"
"More like husband and husband," Hayden says swiftly.
Before anyone else's jaws can drop, Vincent cuts in. "Shut up, Hay. He's just kidding."
"But how long has this been going on for?" Asher continues.
"Hmm...almost seven years," Hayden answers.
"What?" Jordan's eyes nearly bulge out of his head.
Asher then says in outrage, "Vincent, you were my best man. How could you not tell me?!"
"Sorry, I gotta respect the needy's orders," Vincent chuckles, tapping Hayden's thigh twice.
That causes Asher's eyebrows to scrunch up in confusion while Leo asks the same question that he is wondering.
"Why did you hide it for so long?"
Vincent looks up at Hayden expectantly, giving him a nod of encouragement.
Hayden then shrugs and quietly says, "I don't know. I just...feel like Vinny's out of my league. A-And sometimes I feel like I'm out of all of your leagues too." He grabs Vincent's hands when he can't stand to look at everyone anymore. "I'm trying to get better and not see myself this way, but it's hard sometimes when I'm so different from you all. I can't be as responsible or reliable or commanding or great as any of you guys. What makes you still want to be friends when all I do is hold you back?"
Instantly, it's like a cloud of somber hovers over the room. For someone who is always upbeat and smiley, Hayden's crew could've never imagined the man thinking about himself like that.
After a few moments of Vincent whispering sweet nothings in Hayden's ear as he shamefully turns away from their friends, Cecilia takes the first step to break the tension.
She wordlessly gets up from the couch and stalks over to Hayden. Although Hayden isn't facing her, he feels all of her care when she hugs him from behind. Hayden tries to conceal his tears when he shifts in her hold and hugs her back tightly.
"I love you so much, Hayden," Cecilia breathes. "I really do."
Vincent smiles at Cecilia's soft care because Hayden needs to hear some words of encouragement from someone other than him. Vincent can only do so much, but he's almost positive that his friends will be able to solve this problem.
"I love you too," Hayden says easily.
Cecilia breaks the embrace and places her hands on Hayden's shoulders as she looks him in the eye. "You shouldn't take anything of what I say to heart. You should know by now that I love to play around. I mean, insulting people is practically my love language at this point." She looks over her shoulder at her husband and says, "Ain't that right, Sawyer?"
He laughs, "It's true."
Cecilia's attention turns back to Hayden. "You hold so much value to each and every one of us. The way you are so supportive, the way you check up on us every week even if it gets annoying, and the way that I know for a fact that you would take a bullet for any of us."
"I always have my bulletproof vest on for you, Cece." He cracks a small joke.
"Hayden, you are the glue that unknowingly holds us together and, in my opinion, that is the greatest achievement of all."
"Amen," Jordan chimes playfully, causing everyone to laugh.
"Hayden, if those words ever come out of your mouth again, I won't hesitate to slap you," Cecilia chides. "Don't try to be us because all you can ever truly be is you...and I think that's enough. As a matter of fact, I think that is perfect, and everyone else here agrees with me."
Hayden looks at his small group of friends giving him small nods and comforting smiles.
Vincent rolls his eyes but announces, "Alright, group hug."
Not a single person hesitates to meet Hayden in the center of the room and engulf him with their love. Happy tears finally stream down the brunette's cheeks.
Hayden has struggled with his self-image his entire life, but he is only now beginning to see that he doesn't need to; there's no point. He has people in his corner who have always accepted him for who he is and maybe now he can start accepting himself.
When the embrace breaks away, Hayden remains clinging to Vincent. Vincent leans down and whispers, "I told you so" in his ear, causing Hayden to laugh lightly.
Hayden then looks up at him and smiles brightly. Vincent swiftly wipes the tears from Hayden's cheeks, not wanting to be too sappy but needing to console his boyfriend.
"Thank you," Hayden whispers.
"Anytime."
"Well, on a lighter note," Jordan interjects. "Who wants some food?"
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Vincent takes a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.
When the door to his childhood home swings open, he immediately prepares himself for the worst but only looks down to find Vance standing before him.
He gasps, "Vincent, I didn't know you were going to be here."
Before Vincent can say anything, Vance flings himself at his older brother, hugging him tightly.
"Yeah, yeah, I missed you too," Vincent muses playfully, wrapping his arms around Vance as he kicks the door shut. "How are you?"
"Better now," Vance says softly into Vincent's chest.
"And school's okay? How's freshman year?" Vincent asks, unable to hide the concern in his tone.
"I'm okay, Vincent," Vance manages with a slight chuckle. "I'm finally getting better. I have two friends and they really get me, so that's nice. I mean, socializing is still kind of hard, and don't even get me started on school presentations, but I'm getting better."
"Don't say that," Vincent counters.
"Say what?" Vance says, confused.
"You're 'getting better.' There was nothing wrong with you in the first place, Vance. You're human."
A smile melts onto Vance's face and he shyly mutters, "I miss living with you."
"Yeah, me too," Vincent sighs before asking, "Where's Val?"
"Grounded, so she is sulking in her room."
Vincent laughs, "What'd she do?"
"Drove mom's car into a ditch."
"Oh lord," Vincent snorts. "Wait...she doesn't have a license."
"Exactly," Vance chuckles, finding the situation quite humorous even though the consequences and heat Valerie had to take are anything but.
"Does Valerie get in trouble a lot?" Vincent asks patiently.
Vance sighs and nods.
"Just keep an eye out for her, okay?" Vincent says, knowing that her behavior will probably only get worse if his mother doesn't change.
"Always. Don't worry; we're looking out for each other. We kind of have to...it's what keeps us sane," he confesses. "But why are you here?"
"Can you keep a secret?" Vincent grins.
"...Yeah?"
"That doesn't sound convincing."
"Oh, just tell me," Vance huffs.
Vincent reaches into his back pocket and presents Vance with a small, velvet box. Vance looks at it curiously, taking it in his hands. When the top flips open and Vance finds a ring inside, he gasps.
"You're gonna propose to Hayden?!" he nearly shouts, causing Vincent to slap a hand over his mouth.
"Jesus Christ, keep it down will you," Vincent scoffs.
"Sorry," Vance mumbles. "But are you serious?"
"No, I just bought a fake box with a fake engagement ring inside to do a fake fucking proposal," Vincent says sarcastically. "Yes, I'm being serious, you dumbass."
"I'm just asking," Vance laughs, throwing his hands up in surrender. "Wait, can I tell Valerie?" Vincent isn't able to respond before Vance tosses him the box and says, "I'm telling Valerie" as he races down the hallway.
Vincent rolls his eyes before traversing deeper into the house. When he finds the living room empty, he shouts out.
"Hey, Dad. I'm here!" Vincent yells into the air, looking around to see if anything has changed since he left but nothing really has. The house is still in tip-top shape, which honestly makes Vincent feel a little annoyed for Vance and Valerie's sake.
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
That is what was engraved into his head as a child, but that's not reality. It isn't reality with Vance's experience and his troubles with speaking. It isn't Valerie's experience where the only way she feels heard is by acting out. And it certainly isn't Hayden's experience because trying too hard to achieve that measly word only makes you focus on all that is wrong in yourself, and Vincent is sick of that little utopic dream.
Vincent hears a door open to his right and spins around to find Ana and his dad coming out of their bedroom. Honestly, Vincent doesn't know how to act when he is around them anymore, but when Kane gives him a soft smile and pats his shoulder, Vincent knows that he will be somewhat okay.
Vincent has grown closer with his dad over the past years. Their relationship isn't healed by any means, but it is certainly getting better and Vincent is definitely one for seeing progress in that aspect. On the other hand, his mother hasn't made any effort to get to know her son for the true him. If anything, she avoids even having to talk about himâas if he's a mere stain on their lives.
"What brings you here?" Kane prompts when it's clear that Ana isn't going to say anything.
"Oh...I, uh, wanted to talk to you guys about something," Vincent explains.
"Okay," Kane nods. "Can I get you anything first? Some coffee, water, a snack, anything?"
"No," Vincent laughs awkwardly. "It's fine, Dad. I just want to sit."
Just as the three tensely take their seats at the table, Vincent across from both of his parents, Vincent hears Valerie screech from upstairs. He tries to hold back his laugh as he looks at Kane and Ana's confused expressions.
"Get on with it," Ana says impatiently.
Kane looks at his wife in disbelief, but before he gets to say anything, Vincent cuts him off.
"It's fine, Dad. I'm used to it."
Kane looks saddened by the statement while Ana doesn't show a single shred of remorse.
"I won't sugarcoat anything," Vincent begins, pulling the ring out and showing it to his parents. "I'm going to ask Hayden to marry me soon. I'm not here to ask for your approval or blessing because, quite frankly, I don't need it. I just wanted to let you know so it doesn't come as a shock to you. This might be a shot in the dark, but I would like for you to be at my wedding. Also, Vance and Valerie are coming, Ana," he says fiercely. "And you can't stop them from wanting to show me support just because you don't want to. My boyfriend already feels bad enough that you guys don't accept him, so I won't let you ruin this for me. Either way, I'm marrying him and he will be part of my family; I don't care if he's part of yours."
Vincent takes a deep breath and looks at his parents for any input. Likewise, Kane looks at Ana for any input.
She's speechless.
"Please say something," Vincent requests.
"Um...it's a lot to take in," Kane admits. "I still don't understand why or how you are with another man, but I do like him. I think you are good for each other, so who am I to stop you from happiness? My son, I'll be there...and I'll be there in all aspects of life if you'll still have me."
It's sad how Kane can insult their relationship, but Vincent still feels ecstatic by the response. The bar is literally in hell, but it was honestly more than Vincent expected.
"Thank you," Vincent nods before turning to his mother, challenging her stare.
All she simply says is "No."
"What do you mean no?" Vincent scoffs.
"I don't approve."
"I already said I didn't ask for your approval," Vincent spits back, unintentionally slamming his hands on the table.
"And we won't be there either," Ana claims, speaking for Kane.
Vincent looks at his dad with heartbroken eyes, hoping he doesn't follow her orders like a dog on a leash.
"Ana, you've got to cut the shit," Kane says angrily, turning to his wife. She looks at him aghast for his tone. "It's been years. You need to get over whatever grudge you have against our son because I'm not willing to lose him just because you want to."
Ana lets out a bitter laugh. "And I'm not willing to keep someone who clearly isn't worth it. What has he done for us, Kane?"
"Would you listen to yourself?" Kane sneers. "He doesn't need to do anything for us. He's our goddamn son. I thought I was doing the right thing when I raised him with you, but how can you constantly belittle him and expect him to heed your every order? Ana, he's twenty-six and trying to extend an olive branch to his parents when no other kid has to."
"Dad, it's finâ"
"Vincent, stop saying it if you don't mean it," Kane scoffs. "And I meant it when I said I'll be there."
Vincent nods, wanting to smile with his dad being at his defense but not managing to.
"Ask yourself this," Ana begins, directly addressing Vincent. "Does it seem fair to me that you would invite someone entirely new to our family who doesn't want to embrace our culture?"
That statement makes Vincent absolutely livid.
He stands up from his chair and points an angry finger in his mother's face. "You have no fucking right to say that shit to me when he has tried so hard to do everything possible to be open to that part of me! You wouldn't know the effort he makes because you don't give him a goddamn chance! Y-You d-don't..." Vincent didn't think he'd start getting emotional over this tireless fight, but he won't go down without protecting Hayden. "He has celebrated every single New Year with me the way that I used to with you guys. Hell, I've even taken him to your home country and he was fascinated and so accepting of everything he saw! He knows how to make traditional cuisine better than I do now. For fucks sake, he's almost fluent in our language! So, Ana, don't you dare ever accuse Hayden of something like that again when you h-have no i-idea of how hard he's t-trying to be loved by y-you g-guys."
A tear slips down Vincent's cheek, and he only crumbles further when he feels arms wrap around his waist. He looks down to find Valerie giving him a sad smile.
"I u-understand that you think it's okay to be horrible to me," Vincent says shakily. "But I won't allow you to be horrible to h-him. He's suffered enough."
"Quit crying," Ana scoffs heartlessly. "Nobody died, and therefore there isn't any reason to cry, especially not a man your age."
What Vincent doesn't say is that the last time he cried was probably years ago because it was so heavily instilled in his brain that he could never cry. In Ana's mind, teardrops affect a perfect imageâliterally and figuratively.
Vincent also isn't crying right now out of sadness, but out of frustration because Ana's opinions only confirm Hayden's thoughts of feeling like he is never enough.
"Mom, stop," Vance objects quietly, never having the courage to stand up to his mother before now.
The glare that Ana sends Vance immediately causes him to cower behind Vincent. Vance begins to rub Vincent's back when his older brother starts to break down. Vance and Valerie exchange worried glances because Vincent is so strong that they've never seen anything like this before.
"I've come to terms with your job," Ana begins, not feeling the slightest bit sad for the pain she is causing her son. "I've come to terms with your disrespect. I've come to terms with the way you terribly influence Vance and Valerie. I've even come to terms with you wanting to cut ties with half of your familyâ"
"That isn't true and you know it," Valerie bites back, but is ultimately ignored as Ana completely ignores the girl.
"Yeah, you're the one who pretends he isn't the most important one of this family," Vance adds, standing by his sister. "You spew horrible lies to our family to make him unlikable."
"You haven't come to terms with anything if you haven't had a civil conversation with your son in years," Kane comments.
Ana looks at everyone around her, feeling the heat fall onto her shoulders. "Oh, so now you are going to attack me for my opinion?"
Of course, the victim game.
"In that case, I have the right to get my word in," Ana says firmly before stepping forward to invade the space of her crying not-son. "Sure you can be whatever you want to be and do whatever the hell you want to do in life, but that doesn't mean that I will vouch for you if you don't follow my belief and my standards. Call it heartless, but it's reasonable and that's how I was raised. So, no, we aren't going to attend your wedding. You haven't proved to us that we should be there if you still want to live in a fairytale land with a man. How could you honestly think you could come to me and I'd allow you to marry...that?"
Vincent's breaking point is finally reached.
He tries to hide his sobs as he gathers his stuff. He can't look anyone in the eyes.
"What the fuck are you saying?" Valerie then spits. "You're the only one stuck in a fairytale land, mother."
"It's o-okay, Val," Vincent says brokenly as he walks toward the front door.
"But it's not!"
"Vincent, wait," Vance objects, grabbing his wrist.
"Vance, I can't be here a-anymore," Vincent chokes, shamefully hiding his face. "Please, j-just let me leave. I'll call y-you later."
When Vincent finally makes it outside of the house, he is gasping for air. He instantly hears screaming from all four people in the house; three for his defense and of course one who never sees him as more than a burden.
Vincent thought he wouldn't care, that he would come out of the house completely unscathed. Never in a billion years did he think he would ever show Ana the satisfaction of making him cry, but he just wanted everything to fall into place for his boyfriend's sake. He's emotional because Hayden will never be enough in her eyes, no matter how much Vincent tries to tell him that he is in his. It's breaking Vincent's heart to know that half of Hayden's heart will convince him that he is a failure just because Ana can't open her mind.
Everything hurts.
âââ§âââââââ§ââ
Vincent hasn't been answering his phone.
Hayden had a feeling that something would go terribly wrong when Vincent met with his parents, but he didn't expect his boyfriend to not follow through with their promise. They never break the others' trust, so Hayden doesn't know what to think.
Nonetheless, he figured a trip to the grocery store would distract his mind. Vincent will probably beat his ass when he realizes Hayden bought a bunch of ingredients that don't go together, but Hayden feels entirely helpless in this situation. Besides, he is going to give Vincent a piece of his mind when he gets home.
He tries to keep a positive attitude as he hums softly and strolls back into their apartment with arms full of grocery bags. He easily begins to unpack everything, trying his best to focus on the task and not get distracted so he can hear a happy little praise from Vincent later.
When he is about halfway done with the task, he suddenly hears a loud thud that seems to have come from the bedroom. Hayden narrows his eyes in confusion before stalking toward the area. However, he briefly looks back at the unfinished pile of groceries, having a heated debate in his mind about whether he should finish up first or check out what could be a deranged murderer.
Hayden settles for the latter as he pushes the bedroom door open. He checks all around the room and finds nothing out of place; even him and Vincent's smiley photo is still framed on the nightstand.
Just when Hayden is going to give up on his lousy search, he hears a small noise from his closet. He tiptoes over to the door, and what he discovers is truly unimaginable.
Vincent is on the ground, staring back at him like a deer in headlights. His eyes are puffy and sorrowful, and Hayden can tell that he has been crying for a long time judging by the wet stains on his long sleeves.
It sounds weird to admit out loud, but Hayden has never seen Vincent cry; not when they were kids and not even after they started dating. Vincent has never allowed himself to even be in the position for someone to find him at his most vulnerable time. Yes, Hayden can usually tell when Vincent has cried before, but the man would instantly shut down conversation when asked if he was okay.
Even now, Hayden can tell that Vincent is going to pretend he isn't tearful, even though there is nothing wrong with being in this state.
Vincent begins to run his hands along the ground, almost as if he is searching for something, but the floor is absolutely spotless.
"Dammit, I-I could have sworn I left those s-socks in here," he mutters, briefly turning his face away to harshly wipe his tears.
"Vinny," Hayden breathes, kneeling next to him. He won't let Vincent put up a wall this time.
"Oh, is it time for me to m-make dinner?" Vincent asks, trying to get up and push past Hayden.
Hayden puts his hands on Vinny's shoulders, not allowing him to go anywhere.
"Why are you crying?" Hayden says as softly as possible.
"I'm not crying," Vincent scoffs defensively. "I was just watching a video where the person was crying. You must've heard that and mistaken it for me."
Vincent thinks as though his avoidance of eye contact and wet cheeks wouldn't be a dead giveaway that he was upset about something.
"Vinny, even I could think of a better excuse than that," Hayden whispers lightheartedly. Hayden reaches forward and traps Vincent's face in his hands, not allowing him to look anywhere else. "Why are you so upset? And please don't lie to me."
Vincent stares back into Hayden's eyes that hold so much love and care, and can't help but feel the facade slipping away. Vincent loves this man so much that anything that would cause him pain, causes him ten times more pain.
Vincent cracks. He starts sobbing right in front of Hayden, feeling so embarrassed, confused, and disappointed that he couldn't stay strong, that he couldn't conceal it.
Vincent pries his head out of Hayden's grip and rips a sweatshirt off of a hanger above him. To keep at least some of his dignity, he cries into the clothing so he doesn't have to face Hayden.
"I don't w-want you to s-see me like this," Vincent stammers, his body forcefully heaving with how intense his cries are. It makes Hayden want to cry too, but he has to be the one that Vinny can lean on and trust in this sorrowful momentâjust like all the times Vincent has consoled him.
"What kind of boyfriend would I be to leave you at your lowest? To let you fight your demons alone?" Hayden whispers caringly, rubbing his back and shuffling closer to his boyfriend at the same time that Vincent tries to huddle deeper in the closet to get away. "It's okay to cry."
"N-No it's not," Vincent sniffs. "It's fucking pathetic. Please just go away, Hayden."
"No," Hayden instantly counters softly. "How many times have we been in opposite positions? You have never left my side and therefore I'm not leaving yours."
"I don't want you to s-see me cry like a goddamn baby."
"But I'm not judging you for it," Hayden reveals.
Hayden carefully forces the sweatshirt out of Vincent's hands. Vincent still tries to hide his face in his knees, but Hayden moves closer yet again. He lifts his chin with his fingertips, his heart splintering at the devastation on his lover's face. When Hayden carefully cradles Vincent's head to his chestârunning his fingers through his hair, whispering soothing statements, patting his back rhythmicallyâVincent loses every ounce of control he has.
His arms wrap tightly around Hayden as he lets his tears fall freely. He shoves his face further into Hayden's chest as he cries for all the years of pent-up pain, frustration, and anguish Vincent has ever cast to the side to be forgotten. This time he isn't able to bottle it all down, especially in regards to the beautiful, irreplaceable, caring, and smart love of his life.
"Just let it all out," Hayden murmurs delicately, planting long kisses on the top of Vinny's head. Every time Vincent tightens his grip on his boyfriend, Hayden tightens his grip right back to let him know that he is there and he's not going anywhere.
"I'm s-sorry," Vincent chokes out, clenching his eyes shut as if it will stop his current of despair.
"It's okay, Vin," Hayden whispers, placing his chin on top of Vincent's head. "I'm here now."
While Hayden might think Vincent is apologizing for breaking his promise to him, that certainly isn't the case.
"I-I'm so sorry, H-Hayden."
I'm sorry that you will never have the relationship with my parents that I have with your father.