Author's Note~~~
Just thought I'd let you know that this is literally just the first bonus chapter of 'Flowers for Football' so if you've already read it, you don't have to read it again (but are more than welcome to;)). It felt right to include since it leads right into the next chapter, but be mindful that I didn't change anything so it is from Vincent's point of view. Not only that, but I did write this chapter before I even started planning this story so I apologize if things don't quite line up or something is repeated but I tried to subtly correct all that I could. Anyways enjoy!
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VINCENT RUSSELL'S P.O.V
Freshman year of college / Age 18...
I groan and slam my hand on my alarm clock as it causes my hangover to worsen.
Hayden convinced me to loosen up a bit more at the party we attended last night, and I am seriously regretting that decision. As a matter of fact, I don't know why I should've listened to a fucking thing that came out of his mouth when I briefly open my eyes and instantly want to hide under my blanket for the rest of the day.
I don't even realize that I'm drifting off to sleep until my snooze alarm blares and I end up almost cracking my phone screen as I angrily jam my finger into the button.
I carefully sit up in bed, trying to ignore the pounding in my head as I run my fingers through my unruly hair. The dim dorm room light above me feels like it has the power of a million suns, burning into my eyes. Of all things, at least I'm not suffering from a gnarly case of nausea. However, that drinking game from last night is definitely still kicking my ass.
Through squinting eyes, I glance all around the room. Nothing looks out of the ordinary: Hayden's disastrous part of the room looks like a hurricane swept through it as always while mine is as tidy as can be. However, when I notice Hayden's empty bed, I can't help but wonder where the idiot is.
I stumble out of bed to head to the bathroom, but I don't need to wonder about my best friend anymore when I almost trip over a limb.
I look down. Lo and behold, Hayden Williams is sprawled out, face down on the floor, with nothing but a Speedo on.
I don't even want to know.
"Hayden," I mumble, nudging his side with my foot.
When he doesn't move, I grab a pillow off my bed before chucking it at the back of his head.
He abruptly shoots up and screams, "It's a party in the U.S.A!"
"Dude," I groan, clutching my temple as he sends an aching pain through my skull.
"It's a party...in the...U.S.âwait." He thankfully stops his horrid singing before looking up at me. He then takes in his surroundings and his nudity before confusion strikes his face. "Well, how the fuck did I get here?" he says in a chipper tone.
"You tell me," I mutter as I grab an aspirin and chug a bottle of water.
"Last I remember," he begins in a tone that is way too upbeat and normal sounding for the amount he drank yesterday. "There was spin the bottle, body shots, seven minutes in heaven, and some smoking hot people in the pool so my question is, how on earth did I get dragged back here with you?"
"How are you even alive?" I counter, slouching on my bed.
"Vinnyyyyy," he whines in a tone that I know all too well after hanging around his ass for years. "You aren't asking the real questions here!"
"Is 'how are you not dead' better?" I raise an eyebrow. "I saw you take at least ten shots yesterday."
"It's hard being me," he shrugs smugly. "Can't contain this much awesomeness anywhere else.
I toss a second pillow at him which he fails to intercept. He dramatically slumps over in a slow-motion fashion.
"You're ridiculous," I mutter before waltzing into the closet to find some sensible clothing that doesn't reek of alcohol.
"Ridiculously single," he says, giving himself a high five as he cracks up at his own joke.
I roll my eyes but can't help but let out a small laugh at my best friend.
He suddenly gasps from his spot in the middle of the floor, causing me to whip around to see what is so interesting.
He reaches under his bed and exclaims, "Oh my god! My missing flask of Moonshine." He holds it up in shock, a laugh tumbling out of him. "I was looking for you."
When he unscrews the lid and starts lifting it to his mouth, I instantly put a stop to Hayden's irresponsibility. I snatch the silver flask that definitely reeks of something poison before opening the window and carelessly pouring it out.
"Ugh," he scoffs before hauling himself off the ground. "You're no fun."
"You'll thank me later when you actually make it to the age of twenty-five," I smirk. "Put some clothes on."
He places his hands on his hips in defiance.
I have certainly seen way more of his body than I ever wanted to see in college, so weirdly enough, this is Hayden being modest.
"The girls love this outfit." He flashes a grin before bouncing his pecs. "Actually, guys too. Let's not forget every other gender. It's simple really. No one can resist the Hayden sparkle."
"Yeah, how about you say that to someone and see how much action it gets you," I tease.
Hayden shrugs it off before looking around the room. He pauses when he sees the empty bed in the corner.
"Where's Johnny?" he asks.
I yawn, "Don't know. Don't care."
"Vinny," he scolds in a way that causes me to shoot him a sly smile as I start piling stuff into my backpack. "It's almost been a full semester and you've barely spoken a word to the man."
"Sounds like a him problem," I shrug. "I didn't ask for a third roommate."
"He thinks you hate him," Hayden informs with a playful smile.
"Eh, not quite there yet, but if he keeps trying to smile at me then we are going to be," I laugh.
"Vinny."
Hayden places his chin on my shoulder as he presses himself close to me. I slightly turn my head to see him already looking at me, our faces only mere inches apart.
"Will you just give him a chance?"
"Nope."
He shoves me away from him with a loud laugh that causes my harsh expression to fall just a bit. I can't help but smile when I see all of the confetti tangled in the back of his hair as well.
As Hayden finally starts putting some shorts on, his phone dings and he immediately stumbles over to his device, but not before getting one of his arms tangled in the leg hole of his pants.
...Don't ask, I don't know.
"Oh yeah," Hayden says happily as he is twisted into the shape of a human pretzel. "Guess who got some action yesterday judging by all these pictures?"
"You don't even remember what the hell happened yesterday," I retort playfully.
"Vinny, if you're jealous, you can just say so," he smiles innocently.
I instantly stop what I'm doing and chase him around until I have him pinned to the floor. His hands are laced with mine as I press them on the ground beside his head. He is laughing so hard beneath me that his face is entirely flushed red.
"What was that?" I raise an eyebrow and lean closer to his face. I can see every feature of his face, including his fiery eyes that always have an ounce of silliness and mischievousness planted in them.
He leans closer to my face and it slightly catches me off guard. "I'll let you in on a little secret, Vinny boy." He puts his mouth right by my ear before saying, "You. Need. To. Get. Laid."
He bursts out laughing at my bitter expression which causes me to clamber off of him and continue packing my stuff.
"That's not my thing, Hayden," I admit.
"A lot of things aren't your thing," he argues. "College is where we are supposed to explore ourselves, you know? You need to step out of your comfort zone a little bit."
"I don't know if I should be taking any damn advice from you," I smirk.
"Well, Vincent Arden Russell," he muses. "Coming from the person who once got two guys, three girls, and an enby in bed with them...all at the same time, I'd say I know what I'm talking about."
"Sure," I chuckle.
"Vinnyyyyyy," he whines again, throwing his arms around my neck.
I roll my eyes at the daily dose of affection that I receive from him. It secretly still causes a smile to tug at my lips. However, if anyone else was trying to be this close to me, they definitely would've gotten punched in the face by now.
"Guess who has a date tonight?" he asks. I don't even have to look to know that he is raising his eyebrows suggestively.
"Let me guess," I say, unamused. "It starts with 'you' and ends with 'fucking idiot.'"
Suddenly, Hayden crumbles to the floor. I abruptly spin around to look at him, but when his hand is dramatically placed against his forehead, I throw my backpack over my shoulder with a laugh.
"Your words hurt," he huffs, clutching his chest like he is physically in pain.
"Get the fuck off the floor," I snort. When he shoots to his feet and gives me a salute, I know he is just fine. "Wait, didn't you just go out with Amanda two days ago?"
"Yeah, why?" he shrugs.
"And now you are going out with a new girl?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You're hopeless," I mutter.
"No, I'm just a speed dater."
"What the fuck are you even saying?" I laugh.
"Listen, I know the secret to getting all the girls," he confesses like it's top secret. "All you gotta do is stand in the middle of the main plaza with a sign that says 'I'm a feminist." Instantly, they come flocking."
"Yeah, okay. That's literally horrible. I'm gonna go on a walk now, but I'll be sure to tell every girl I pass that you compare them to birds," I chuckle.
"Wait," Hayden protests as I'm walking toward the door. I turn around to find a dopey smile on his face. "What time are you coming back?"
"I don't know," I admit.
"Well, you have to know!" he exclaims. "I need you to help me prepare for my date!"
"Of course you do," I mutter playfully, walking out of the door.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Hayden shouts from our dorm room as I am already walking down the hall.
"Figure it out, Twinkle Toes," I laugh.
"Vinny! What's that supposedâ"
I don't get to hear any more of his morning absurdity as I slip my headphones on and continue down the hall with a smile on my face.
I push through the exit doors and am instantly surrounded by nature with the sweet tunes that are blasting through my headphones. There aren't many students out, considering it's Sunday morning, but that's the way I like it to be.
For some reason, college is a lot harder than high school was for me. I'm not saying academic-wise, but social-wise.
Honestly speaking, I haven't made a new friend in probably years, the last two being Asher King and Cecilia Matthews, but it's just hard to get to know people. It's so easy for some people, especially Hayden, but it makes me really happy that he has never left my side and left me stranded.
I don't know what it is, but sometimes it's just easier to stick to myself than to befriend more people. I know that's a bad mindset, but some people can just piss me off by existing so I almost don't feel sorry.
I'm content with the fact that I'll be alone for most of my life. I've never really been the relationship type. It's not that I've never been attracted to anyone, I just...don't want to care for someone that much and have my feelings reciprocated. Truthfully, I love a life of solitude. Nothing sounds more comforting to me. Being intertwined with someone sounds like a lot of work that I don't want to put in.
I had a girlfriend once. However, it didn't last long after I found out she wasn't fond of me and Hayden's closeness. Quite frankly, my best friend comes first and when she couldn't respect that, things ended up messy. All of my friends come first, though.
I'm not just saying that because I've known them for years. I'm saying that because they actually had the drive to break down my walls and befriend me, and not a lot of people can do that. Hayden, in particular, means a lot to me, even if I don't really know how to express it.
Honestly speaking, I've had the most average college experience known to mankind. I keep up with my studies, I occasionally party, and most of my time spent is making sure that Hayden doesn't die. Most people don't like me, but I really couldn't care less. I don't give a fuck what someone else has to say simply because they don't know me.
However, I am still a virgin and every time we are playing never have I ever, someone has to make me feel like shit over something that is my choice. Thankfully, Hayden always puts an end to it before I get the chance to do it myself.
Speaking of Hayden, I don't really know what happened between high school and college. Senior year, it seemed like we were growing closer than ever, but that was only after Hayden had stopped chasing after his supposed super-hot girlfriend. I could've sworn that he was turning over a new leaf, but the second we entered college, it was like girl paradise for him. He brings girls over almost every night...and I don't like it one bit. I can't tell you why, though.
It just...it felt nice when I could really have my best friend to myself without him obsessing over someone else.
I finally find a bench that'll suffice for clearing my thoughts. I set my backpack down and instantly pull a book out of it. With the soothing environment around me and my headphones carrying a slow tune, it's easy to lose myself in the world of words and paperâmy biggest comfort.
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"Hayden, what the fuck are you wearing?" I ask.
He smiles when he sees me come in the door. Not only that, he comes dancing toward me which causes all of the tassels and fringes on his jacket to move.
"Yeehaw," he smirks, tipping his cowboy hat down. "Isn't it fabulous?"
I look down and notice that even his pants have tassels on the end of them.
"Why?" I say simply.
"The girl I'm going out withâher name is Angeline. That sounds like a Texan name," he shrugs, looking like the modern-day Woody from Toy Story.
"You're actually going dressed like that?"
"Preeeeeecisely, partner," he chuckles, tossing me a wink. "What? It is too little? I bought a lasso too."
"Nope, no lasso," I laugh.
"It's too kinky, right? See that's what I thought originally, butâ"
"Hayden, just shut up," I snicker.
"So you think I'm all good for my date?" he says excitedly.
"Not even close," I chuckle, grabbing one of his belt loops as I pull him into my closet. "Take that monstrosity off."
He shamelessly strips in front of me before planting the cowboy hat on my head. I have to laugh.
I grab a nice collared shirt to pair with some slacks before throwing them at him. "Put this on."
He instantly follows the command before wordlessly grabbing a pair of my shoes with a bright smile. I just roll my eyes because 'what's mine is his' has always been our motto.
After a short ruffle of his hair, I drag him over to the full-sized mirror and look him up and down, appreciating my work.
"Much better," I muse.
Hayden doesn't even take a glance at his outfit as his eyes are locked on mine through the mirror.
"Hay?" I question, gazing back at him with mild concern because he has never been this quiet. The vulnerability in his eyes is definitely something new for someone who bathes in undeterred confidence.
"I think I've lost my mojo," he says quietly.
"What?" I say dramatically to tease him. "Hayden Williams? Losing his mojo? That's unheard of."
"Vinny, I'm being serious," he groans, crossing his arms defiantly.
"Alright, alright," I sigh. "What the hell are you talking about?"
He anxiously paces across the floor, fiddling with his hands. I sit on my bed and watch the rare scene unfold in front of me.
Wow, he's being serious.
He mumbles something under his breath but I don't quite catch it.
"What?"
"Someone said I was a bad kisser," he grumbles.
I take in the distressed expression on his face and can't help but burst out in hysterical laughter.
"Vinny!" he stomps his foot before chucking a pillow at me. "It's not funny!"
"It's just a l-little bitâpffttt." I throw my arms across my stomach and lay back on my bed at my best friend's priorities. The cowboy hat slips off of my head in the process.
"Tell me whenever you're done," he says with unamused eyes and crossed arms.
"Okay, okay, okay," I say, wiping my tears. "So you're upset?"
"I am upset," he nods, taking a step toward me.
"Because someone said something bad about you?"
"Yes." He takes another step toward me.
"That bad thing being that you are a bad kisser?" I have to hold back my smile.
He plants himself on the bed next to me before quietly saying, "You don't understand. It was offensive."
Before I get the chance to laugh at him again, he puts his hand over my mouth.
"Please don't laugh."
"Okay," I say politely, prying his hand off of my face. " I won't."
He looks down and picks at my shorts as he leans into me.
"You're really going to let one measly person tear down the Hayden Williams?" I ask.
"Oh, fuck no," he laughs. "But it still hurt. I could've told her that kissing her was like making out with a flopping fish, but noooooo. I'm a nice person."
"Sure. So...what will make your dilemma better?" I ask genuinely, heavily amused by this situation but still trying to comfort him.
"Practice," he answers shortly.
"Practicing what?"
"You know...kissing," he offers, not making eye contact with me.
"Oh, hellllllll no," I snort, jumping up from the bed, but before I get the chance to go anywhere, he pulls me back down.
"Please, Vinny," he begs. "I promise it won't be for too long."
I have somehow always avoided kissing my friends whenever we have played Spin the Bottle, but here, in our college dorm room, I'm finally going to give in to a desire that I never really cared for.
"Why?" I ask. "You can't be a normal person and watch a video before practicing on your hand?"
"It's not the same," he grumbles. "I promise I'll never ask again, but please help me out just this once."
I look into his eyes that are shining with something I've never seen before but can't put a name on. For once, the hyper boy is eerily still as he awaits my answer.
"When is your date?" I ask softly.
"In about twenty minutes."
I take one last look at my best friend before throwing my hands up carelessly. I sigh, "God, I don't give a shit. Will you just stop pouting?"
His lips quirk up before he excitedly says, "Okay. How are we going to do this? Should Iâ"
I don't waste another second before planting my lips on his.
Everything around us is quiet, still, peaceful. I watch as his eyes flutter shut, and for some reason, my eyes follow. There's truly nothing awkward about it.
There are so many sensations at once but they are all muted to blend wonderfully in this serene moment. His lips are slightly chapped against mine. I notice the absence of his breath as he doesn't know how to continue. His eyelashes tickle my cheek.
It's not supposed to feel like this...it's not supposed to feel this good.
Tentatively, I feel Hayden shift and place one of his hands on my shoulder while the other goes to my cheek. His fingers are trembling, and I don't know why.
I'm just his best friend. Nothing about this is supposed to make him nervous because it doesn't mean anything.
Why are his hands shaking?
When so many confusing thoughts start plaguing my head, I focus on the task we are here for. I'm supposed to be teaching Hayden how to kiss, nothing more.
"Take it slow," I whisper against his lips. "Let her feel the moment."
Carefully, I lick his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He slowly opens up and lets my hot tongue invade his mouth. We kiss like we have done this millions of times before. The rhythm we establish is nothing short of effortless.
Hayden happily hums into the kiss. I can only assume that he is trying to act the part as well as possible for future reference. Wanting to follow Hayden's false display of affection, I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him closer to me. His throat hitches as our sides are now pressed together, but I only take the opportunity to kiss him harder.
I want this to feel real for Hayden's sake, but part of me knows that what we are doing right now isn't for show...and that terrifies me.
Have I been thinking about my best friend in a way that isn't normal this whole time?
We gently pull away from each other as we try to catch our breaths. Hayden's hands don't move. My arm stays coiled around his waist.
I gulp before whispering, "Was that enough practice for you?"
"No, it wasn't, Vinny," he claims shortly before pressing his lips against mine again.
I don't protest as our innocent little practice session becomes a heated make-out.
I feel like my body is being simultaneously plunged into a hot tub and a vat of ice water because nothing has felt this exhilarating ever before.
When Hayden's hands slip up my neck and start tugging at my hair, all of my restraint snaps. I touch anywhere and everywhere on his body, indulging in actions I never thought I would find pleasure in...especially not with Hayden fucking Williams. He gasps as we lose ourselves in undeniable bliss.
Were my thoughts of solitude just compensation for my hidden feelings for Hayden this whole time? Was me always picking Hayden's side, including when I would have fights with my ex, just a subconscious sign that he is more important to me than I let on?
My head feels like it's going to explode, but Hayden's lips are a wonderful distraction as well as the root of my problems.
I love Leo like a brother. I love Sawyer like a brother. However, I can confidently say that I have never once loved Hayden like a brother, and maybe this is why.
"Vinny," Hayden says breathlessly.
I pull back and gaze at him carefully. His flushed cheeks and puffy lips are definitely something I can get used to.
"Hm?"
"What if...she wants more?" he says softly.
I take my shirt off and carelessly toss it on the floor before saying, "Then give her more."
I push him back down on the bed and climb over him. He sucks his lip in between his teeth in a way that I've never found attractive before.
He silently watches as my hand crawls underneath his shirt and starts feeling up his side. He shivers at the touch.
"Is this okay?" I question lightly.
"Is that what I'm supposed to say?" he asks.
"What?"
"To the girl," he says bashfully, in a way that sure doesn't suit Hayden. "On our date."
I have to physically shake my head when I realize that nothing is happening between me and Hayden. This is all hypothetical. All those thoughts about Hayden I had earlier in ways that are past platonic was just my mind playing tricks on me.
He's my best friend. I wouldn't give that away for anything.
It's just a kiss. It doesn't mean anything.
"Make sure she's comfortable," I whisper.
I fluff the pillow behind his head just to do something that will keep up my part.
"I'm comfortable...always," he says.
I can't tell if he is telling me what the girl would say or if this is just a genuine crack in his persona, but I don't question it as the best way to silence my thoughts is to keep my lips on his.
Falling back into the mood we established before is as easy as breathing. As my fingertips dance along the taunt skin under his shirt, Hayden is just as touchy as his hands explore my bare back and he pulls me closer. The way his nails rake down my skin drives me crazy.
I pull away as I kiss down his jaw and neck, hearing pants fall from his parted lips.
"Whisper little things to her that'll drive her mad," I say against his neck as I leave a love bite that he seems to like.
"L-Like?"
"How pretty she is," I say quietly. "And how much you love her hair."
I make the mistake of touching his hair, and that's when I know for certain that this is real.
I slowly lean over his face, my breathing erratic as I know there is no turning back. He stares up at me, wide-eyed. A few moments pass and neither of us knows what to say. What even is there to say after something like this?
There has always been a fine line that we never crossed but it's as if someone just kicked away our line in the sand and is continuing to waltz all over our partition.
"Vinny," he breathes softly. I can read the uncertainty in his eyes. "I, um..."
"I know, Hayden. I know."
I know that this changes everything.
No matter what we do after this moment, if we try to move past it and pretend it never happened, some part of us will know that there is a spark between us.
He places his hand on my chest, right over my beating heart. He then slides his hand on the back of my neck so he can bring me closer once again. He kisses my cheek before giving me that infamous smile of his.
I finally recognize the emotion that I failed to place earlierâit's longing.
Our lips brush together yet again, but somehow it feels different. I let up the weight on my forearms, noticing how good my body feels up against his, like it was always meant to be there.
He hugs me tight to him. I know that says a lot, considering that his one rule with hookups is to never embrace as one might get too attached.
It's authentic. This whole moment is truly so delicate. All of the sensations, the small touches, the genuine smile on Hayden's lipsâI couldn't make any of this shit up.
Just as we get lost in the tenderness of each other, the door opens.
"Oh...oh, s-shit."
Our lovely third roommate, Johnny, is standing in the doorway with a flabbergasted expression that I instantly want to punch off.
Hayden and I just completely freeze. I don't make any move to get off of him and he doesn't make any move to get out from under me. As a matter of fact, his hands now feel searing hot where they are resting on my lower back. I hook my chin over my shoulder to look at Johnny, but I'm not doing anything to hide my scowl.
"H-Hayden," he says nervously under my glare. "There's a girl waiting for you outside of the door."
"Oh, right," Hayden chuckles awkwardly, quickly shimmying out of my bed.
He checks himself out in the mirror, running his fingers through his now messed-up hair. He shoots Johnny a grin before walking out of the door like nothing just happened.
Part of me really wanted him to look back at me.
Now that only Johnny and I are left, he starts rambling.
"So, um..." he puts his hand on the back of his neck anxiously. "You and Hayden, huh? I mean...ha, that's totally cool. I just r-really didn't expect it at all andâ"
"Johnny," I say shortly.
"Hm?"
"Say one more word and I will castrate you."
I don't even get to hear his flustered response as I angrily put my headphones over my head and rest my eyes, thinking of what the actual fuck just happened between me and my best friend.
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It's just past eleven when Hayden finally returns. Johnny went to sleep over at one of his friends' places because it's no surprise that he pissed me off, but I feel quite guilty as it was entirely not his fault.
I don't even look at Hayden. I just continue to read my book as I'm laying in bed with the small lamplight accompanying me.
I know that a lot of turmoil lies between us, but nothing hurts worse than knowing that he blatantly ignored me and continued on with his date.
However, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, considering his lips aren't puffy and he's here hours earlier than he normally would be.
I silently watch as he winds down for the night, but every time his eyes hesitantly flick to mine, I act like I have been reading the whole time.
Nothing of his nighttime routine is out of the ordinary. He slips his shoes off, washes his face, and of course changes into something more comfortable. He throws my sweatshirt over his head like he usually does.
He sits on his bed for a mere second until I quietly hear him say "Fuck it," and bounce right back up.
Without hesitation, he climbs into my bed until we are laying side by side.
"What are you doing?" I ask carefully.
He doesn't reply, just scoots a little closer to me before resting his head on my shoulder. I peek down to see that his eyes are closed, so I continue reading like this isn't anything out of the ordinary.
A few minutes pass, and when I think Hayden has finally fallen asleep, he quietly mutters, "I'm sorry."
I don't reply.
"Vinny, can you at least look at me?" he asks softly in the pale light of the room.
I sigh before placing a bookmark in my book and reaching over Hayden so I can carelessly toss it on the nightstand. I lay back in my spot and Hayden instantly comes closer again. I take a calm breath before finally turning my head so that I can look him in the eye.
Half of his face is illuminated by the lamp while harsh shadows fall over the underside of his nose. I take note of the little scar by his mouth that I know is from one of our sophomore year parties where he tried to roller skate through the house when he was tipsy and just ended up with a mouth full of table. His hair is framing his face perfectly right now.
"I'm sorry," he repeats.
"What for?"
"For trying to make you jealous all this time," he reveals.
My eyes widen and he looks at the ceiling with a big sigh.
"It was at the end of junior year. That was when I realized I was catching feelings for you," he begins. "It freaked me out...a lot. You've been my best friend for god knows how long, and I knew that something was going to change once we got to college. I meant it in high school when I said I was going to focus on myself. The only problem was when I stopped focusing on girls, I realized how much you meant to me."
He looks at me again before slowly wrapping his arm around my waist, gauging my reaction.
"Once we got to college, I noticed just how hard it was to conceal my feelings for you when we were living so close together. I didn't want to lose you, so I just needed to know if you felt some ounce of what I felt before I ruined our friendship. None of the girls ever meant anything, and I know how bad that sounds, but I just wanted you to want me for once...but you never did until now...I think? To be fair, I was always completely transparent with the girls and explained that nothing would ever come out of our time together, but it still makes me feel bad for the way I used them. I just...wanted to know what one kiss with you would be like before I had to start getting over you."
Ignoring the majority of the scary information he just told me, I ask, "Why are you home so early?"
"Were you not just listening?" he huffs. "I went out with Angeline so I could break things off with her."
I don't really have anything to say. All of thisâthe affection from Hayden, what he is telling me, and my conflicting thoughts about obviously liking my guy best friendâis so abrupt. Nothing could be more shocking, and it's causing my head to hurt.
I roll onto my side so that I'm facing the wall.
I feel Hayden's hand slipping away from my waist at what he thinks is a sign of rejection, but I quietly tap his hand before saying, "I didn't realize I liked you until we kissed."
His hand stills on my stomach. "W-What?"
"You are just really messing with my fucking head right now," I sigh.
"I-I'm sorry," he expresses genuinely. "Do you want me to go away?"
"No, you're okay," I admit with a smile. "I just...need a couple of days to think and get my mind straight."
"Well, whatever is going on between us is pretty gay, Vincent," Hayden muses.
"Shut the fuck up," I laugh, unintentionally holding my hand over Hayden's.
It's silent for a moment until he quietly whines, "Does this mean I can't kiss you for a week?"
I peek over my shoulder at the growing pout on his face.
"You'll survive," I smirk.
He only huffs and buries his head into my back as he pulls my blanket up to his chin.
"Vinny," he whispers.
"Hm?"
"Can I sleep here tonight?"
"Even if I told you to move, you wouldn't get up." I roll my eyes.
"Aww," he coos, reaching up to pinch my cheek. "You know me so well."
I slap his hands away with a small chuckle.
"So what now?" I ask after a few silent moments roll by.
"What do you mean?" he questions.
"Are we going to...you know...date?" I say hesitantly. "Like...um, boyfriends?"
"Why are you saying the words like you are waiting for a bomb to blow up?" he laughs. "You know, gay relationships exist in a lot of places including, hmm, let me think, our friend group. Do the names little hottie and Lee Bee ring a bell?"
"Hayden, I'm about five seconds away from shoving you off of my bed."
"Aw, you would lay on the floor with me?" he says in a sickeningly sweet tone. "How adorable."
I roll my eyes with a scoff.
Hayden just curls further into my body.
"I mean," he starts softly. "Whenever you want to ask me out, I'll be here."
"Okay," I smile as I reach across him to turn out the light.
I finally cover myself up with the blanket as Hayden continues to move closer to me like a giant puppy dog. When I am squished between the wall and a human furnace, I have to say something.
"Hayden, this is never going to happen again if you don't give me some space."
"Fine," he sighs before slightly scooting over but still resting his head on my shoulder. "But I'm never going to be your boyfriend if you don't start talking to our fucking roommate."
"Fine, fine," I sigh contently. "I guess I can work on it."
"Thank you, Vinny," he says, kissing me on the cheek.
"Hayden, what did I literally just say about the kissing?"
"Sorry," he groans. "I couldn't help myself."
"Clearly," I grumble, but I'm not actually angry with him. "Anyways, you are coming to my club football game this week. We are going to a college nearby."
"Okay," he says happily before, once again, squishing me into the wall.
I roll my eyes. "You're hopeless."
He laughs, and I find myself drifting off to sleep, cuddled up to someone I never thought I'd be romantically in bed with before.
As of right now though, I don't have a single complaint.