Chapter 15: Filthy Crown: Chapter 14

We all stayed at the guest cabin late into the night—way past the kids’ bedtime—but we were all having so much fun.

The kids got along great, and I absolutely adore the ladies of WRATH. I hope they keep coming back to vacation here. It’d be nice to have the female company.

Wait a minute. I yawn into my coffee, peering up at Amanda and Alex who are busy squabbling over who gets to eat the last piece of bacon. The kids bickering and my lack of sleep must have my head messed up because I know I don’t have plans of staying here past the summer.

“Stop fighting, guys. I can make you some more bacon if you’re still hungry. But you have to eat all of your eggs first.” I raise a brow, daring them to argue.

They grumble, but they do as they’re told. Thank god. I don’t have the energy for much more right now.

“Morning.” Jack’s deep voice has my body coming alive, giving me a quick jolt of energy even caffeine couldn’t produce. “Y’all are definitely Crown kids.”

“How so?” I smirk, wanting him to look me in the eye once more.

“All of the Crown brothers can put away an entire packet of bacon in one sitting.”

The tone of the room takes a somber one as we all remember that one brother is no longer with us. Jack grimaces, noticing what his words have done, but I look him in the eye and shake my head, hoping he understands he did nothing wrong.

We can’t walk around eggshells and not talking about our parents would be more tragic than undergoing the sadness whenever they’re brought up.

Needing to liven the mood up, I put on the biggest smile I can muster. “You guys want to join the WRATH kids for a playdate today?”

They both beam up at me, nodding with enthusiasm. I’m about to tell them I’ll take them up there after breakfast when Jack cuts in. “I can have Mary or Georgina take them, but you’re coming with me.”

The way he says that sends chills up my spine. “Oh, am I?”

He raises a brow, tone steady and strong. “Yes. We’re going into town. It’s time you had your own phone.”

I give him a small nod, not wanting to show him just how excited I really am. I’ve been watching the market on Mary’s laptop, but it would make it so much easier if I had a phone on me at all times.

I’ve almost regained all that I lost while we were in Mexico. I just need a little more and it’ll be enough to get me and the kids set up once I turn eighteen. Sure, we won’t be living anywhere as nice as this, but it’ll be safe and it’ll be home.

I was so excited about the idea of the phone that the rest of his words are just now catching up to my brain. “Wait, I’ll only go if Mary and Georgina go together or if only Mary goes. I don’t trust Georgina.”

Jack’s brows raise. “I’m not sure why you don’t like her. She’s worked here for two years now and I’ve never had a problem.”

It’s my turn to raise a brow. “It’s not that I don’t like her. That’s just a byproduct of my not trusting her.” I take a sip of my coffee, trying to find the right words to say. Finally, letting out a huff, I give him the only grounds I have. “Look, call it women’s intuition. There’s something that doesn’t sit right with me when it comes to her and I’d sooner trust Sparky the horse than her with my brother and sister.”

A snort comes from behind me and I see Mary is refilling the kids’ orange juice. She must have snuck in mid conversation. “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll take the kids.”

Looking up at her, I try to convey all of my gratitude with a smile. “Thank you, Mary. That makes me feel a million times better.”

“Not a problem at all, dear. Amanda and Alex are a pleasure.”

Just then, Alex holds up his plate. “More bacon, please.”

I chuckle. “A pleasure and a bottomless pit for bacon, too.”

“Thank goodness I’ve stocked plenty.” Mary skirts around the table and heads toward the fridge where Jack is silently standing.

He’s been watching my interaction with Mary, a curious look in his eyes. Finally blinking whatever was going on in his head away, he comes back to life. “Be ready in thirty. And for goodness’ sake, put some more damn clothes on.”

“Yes, Daddy,” I mutter under my breath as the kids giggle and Jack storms out of the kitchen.

He keeps stealing glances at my bare legs like they’re going to grow a limb and slap him. I’m wearing a white flowy halter dress and some wedged heels. Same as what I was wearing this morning.

He may not like my little dress, but I do, and I’ll be damned if I let a man tell me what to wear. “Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer.”

Jack lets out something between a growl and a snarl. “I thought I told you to put some more clothes on.”

“I grabbed a cardigan.” I hitch my thumb toward the back, where I chucked it.

“It doesn’t count if it’s not on your body.”

“What’s it matter right now, anyway? You’re the only one who can see me.” My eyes narrow into tiny slits as a devious smile spreads across my lips. “Or is that the problem, Uncle Jack? You can’t stand the idea of seeing this much skin on display?” I can’t help but reach out and run a finger up his muscular thigh.

I’m trailing higher up his leg when his hand comes down forcefully on my wrist. “No, Pen. This is wrong.”

I pull back my hand like I’ve been burned, and in a way, I have. His rejection hurts more than the lick of a flame ever could.

“Stop whatever’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours, Pen.” His large hand lands on my shoulder and squeezes.

Great, I’m getting pity petting. Shrugging him off I try to play it off. “Nothing is going on inside my head, Jack.”

I’m pretty sure that didn’t sound convincing because he keeps glancing at me, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Yes, that’s a big part of the problem.”

My brows furrow, trying to piece together what he’s saying when it clicks. He finds me attractive! I mean, obviously I knew I affected him. I felt exactly how much by the waterfall.

Still, there was a part of me that thought his reaction was more mechanical. One caused by being pressed up against a woman. Any woman.

If what he just said is true, then it was more than that.

“Cat’s got your tongue?” Jack’s smirk has now morphed into a boyish smile, making my insides go all mushy.

“No. I just wasn’t expecting you to be so honest, that’s all.” I turn toward the window, unable to stare at his profile. It’s too beautiful and his words are too much. It was all fun and games when I was tempting a man who wouldn’t fully play along.

It was safe. It kept me on target and on task, getting everything ready to leave in a few months. But this? His admission? It tastes too damn sweet, tempting me with the idea of forever. And that’s something I’m not willing to do. Not for anyone. Especially someone who’s abandoned me before.

“I will always be honest with you, Penelope.” His hand finds mine and our fingers intertwine, the connection setting my whole body on fire.

His words give me comfort and fill me with rage all at the same time.

“Tell me then.” I glare, unable to hold up years’ worth of resentment.

“Tell you what?” He sounds genuinely confused.

“How could you not know? How could you not know that you wrecked me? You left my heart battered and bruised when you walked away and didn’t look back. I waited for you every Sunday. Stood by the front window of our home, hoping against all odds that maybe one Sunday would be different. That you’d walk through that door and be my constant again. The one good and solid thing in my life. For five years, you let me need you. You let me love you. And then you vanished without so much as a goodbye.” I wipe a rogue tear away, unwilling to shed more for this man. “So now that you know. Tell me. Tell me why you left me.”

My whole body is shaking now, vibrating with so much pent-up rage and sadness I feel like I’m coming out of my skin.

“Shit, Pen.” His voice is choked with emotion, his hands gripping tightly onto the wheel.

Suddenly the car is swerving onto the shoulder of the road, Jack’s jaw clenching so hard I can hear his teeth cracking.

As soon as the car has stopped, Jack turns to me, eyes wild. His mouth parts, but no words escape.

In one swift motion, Jack unbuckles my belt and plucks me out of my seat, pulling me into his lap.

With my face cupped between his large rugged hands, he lets his lips touch my forehead.

“I’m so sorry, Princess. I’m so fucking sorry.” He continues to place reverent kisses all over my face. Forehead. Cheeks. Nose. Chin. But never my lips. Never where I need him the most. “I had no damn clue you were in so much pain.”

He swipes the hair from my shoulder, replacing it with soft kisses, the action making my whole body shudder. In that moment, pain and sadness are mixed with need. A hungry need for him to make me whole.

“You wrecked me, Jack. You made me believe it was okay to trust you. A man.” That last word comes out choked, betraying what I really feel toward the other sex.

His brows knit together as his eyes search mine. “But you had Austin. I don’t understand. He was your constant up until the day he… until he couldn’t.”

I shake my head and look out the window, not wanting him to see how pathetic I truly feel. I can’t let him see the desperate and needy little girl that lies inside, underneath all of my jagged layers. “No. Austin belonged to my mom. She was his knight in shining armor. Her Prince Charming. He was nice to me, and I loved him for loving my mom, but he wasn’t there for me. Not like you were.”

Jack’s strong fingers grip my jaw, turning my face toward his. “Baby, I had no idea our routine meant that much to you.”

A soft kiss is placed on my nose while I let out a shaky breath. “It did. I didn’t have much back then, but I thought I had you. I looked forward to every Sunday. Even when I had to share you with Alex and Amanda.” The pad of Jack’s thumb wipes at a tear I didn’t know had fallen. “For five years, you showed up like clockwork. We would go to the movies, lunch or even a stroll to the park. You were the one who taught me to ride a bike. It was you who taught me that french fries tasted best when dipped in a milkshake.”

We both snort a laugh at that. My eyes fall on Jack’s lips. A full pout that’s stretched into a full grin. “I still do that till this day.”

Finally daring my eyes to look between Jack’s tumultuous ones, I see that they’re glistening. One of my hands travels up to his chest, pressing the palm to his thudding heart. “Me too.”

A silence stretches until it becomes too much for me to bear. “So tell me. Why? Why did you leave me?”

He lets out a slow breath, inhaling deeply before answering. “I was battling my own demons, Pen. My parents had just passed, and I was saddled with their estate. Divvying everything up between the brothers and trying to find out why they left us so soon was all too much. Not to mention I had Dad’s silent partner hounding me for his share of everything.” He runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. “I honestly had no clue that our outings meant that much to you. It was never my intention to abandon you. At first, I’d always placed the travel up to Austin’s place on my schedule. I’d meant to visit, but one thing after another came up and I never ended up making it. Eventually, I just stopped placing it on my calendar. Life got away. You got away.”

His hands grip on to either side of my head, bringing my forehead down to his lips again as he whispers words of promise. “But never again, Pen. I’ll never let you get away.”

Finally, letting myself break down in his arms, I let everything go. All the years of sadness and resentment pour out of me like a broken spigot, spilling years’ worth of unshed tears onto his cotton clad chest.

In the cab of his truck and in his arms, my tattered heart begins to mend. Choosing to push all logic or reason out of my head, I give in to the emotions running high. Love. I feel it coming off of him in waves and I lap at it like a thirsty little puppy.

But only time will tell if his words are truth, or if they’re the last nail on my dark and lonely coffin.