I woke up abruptly, my senses stirring from the depths of sleep, and as my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I saw Sanae beside me, sleeping peacefully. My head rested on her arm, and for a moment, I simply lay there, feeling the warmth of her presence. Such comfort, such peace amid the chaos that constantly lingers within me. Itâs terrifying, nerve-wracking even, what is it about her that affects me so deeply? I donât know. I donât understand.
Slowly and carefully, I pulled myself away, making sure not to wake her. With quiet steps, I reached for my cigarette dispenser, the cool metal familiar against my fingertips. I made my way to the terrace, opening the door with a soft creak before stepping outside, letting the crisp night air envelop me.
"It's been a while," I whispered to no one in particular as I lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply before exhaling a thin stream of smoke into the night. My gaze drifted toward the distant mountains, their silhouettes bathed in the soft glow of the moon. The world felt still, wrapped in an eerie serenity that only the late hours could offer.
I feel safe when I'm home. I feel happy. And most importantly, I feel like myself, unrestrained, unfiltered, just me.
As I took another slow drag, my thoughts wandered back to Sanae. The way she makes me feel, the quiet strength in her presence, the way she instinctively holds me as if shielding me from the unseen battles I fight. Her smile, her touch, the little things she does without even realizing their impact on me. Itâs overwhelming, how easily she makes me feel fragile, how effortlessly she breaks down my walls without even trying.
"Youâre smoking again, my Ruby," she said softly, her voice laced with a hint of concern as she stepped closer, her hands finding their way to my shoulders, kneading them gently.
"Sorry," I murmured, exhaling a thin trail of smoke before lowering my gaze. "Itâs just a habit whenever I wake up suddenly."
Sanae sighed, her fingers momentarily pausing before she reached up and plucked the cigarette from between my lips, putting it out without hesitation. "Something is bothering you?" she asked, her tone gentle yet firm. "Talk to me instead."
I hesitated for a moment before standing up, turning to face her fully. The way she looked at me, steady, unwavering, made something twist inside my chest. I let out a quiet breath, my heart pounding slightly as I met her gaze.
"Do you really want to know whatâs bothering me?" I asked, my voice quieter now, tinged with something uncertain.
She tilted her head slightly, studying me. "Of course," she answered without hesitation. "Tell me."
I swallowed hard before speaking again. "Itâs you, Sanae," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "Itâs you."
Her brows furrowed slightly, her expression unreadable as she reached for me, pulling me close in one swift motion. My body pressed against hers, and I could feel the warmth radiating from her, the steady rise and fall of her breath.
"Is that so?" she murmured, her voice dropping into something lower, something darker. Her hands traced soothing circles against my back, but there was a quiet intensity in her touch. "How much do I bother you, Ruby?"
I felt my pulse quicken, my breath hitching slightly. The way she was looking at me, the way she was holding me, it was making it harder to think, harder to breathe.
"You make me so bothered," I confessed, my voice unsteady as I gripped the fabric of her shirt, fingers curling against it. "To the point that Iâ" I stopped myself, the words lingering between us, heavy, unspoken.
She leaned in closer, her breath warm against my ear. "To the point that what?" she pressed, her tone teasing yet commanding, as if she already knew the answer and just wanted to hear me say it.
I clenched my jaw, my chest tightening. "To the point that I want to be fucked by you," I finally admitted, the words leaving my lips shakily, almost inaudibly.
For a moment, there was only silence, thick, palpable, stretching between us like a drawn-out thread. Then, slowly, she pulled back just enough to meet my gaze, her eyes dark with something unreadable, something consuming.
"Is that what you want?" she asked, her voice impossibly soft, yet there was an edge to it, a quiet challenge hidden beneath the surface.
I bit my lip, my breath uneven. "I donât know what I want," I admitted truthfully. "I just know that when Iâm with you, I feel... unsteady. Like Iâm losing control of myself."
She chuckled softly, brushing a stray strand of hair from my face. "Maybe losing control isnât always a bad thing," she murmured.
And just like that, I felt myself falling deeper into whatever it was she was pulling me into.
We smashed our lips together. She pushed me against the wall and held my hands up. We were kissing, fierce, intoxicating. The way her lips moved with mine was maddening, drowning me.
"Ruby," she said, looking at me, asking for permission with just her gaze.
"Take me, Sanae. Take me, I am yours," I said, and she carried me like a bride before laying me down on my bed. She took off her shirt and boxers, then removed mine as well.
I looked at her, we were staring into each otherâs eyes.
"I'm all yours, Ruby," she said before climbing on top of me, and we started kissing again.
I rested my arm on her shoulder and crossed it as we kissed, so soft. I didnât know what was happening; all I knew was that I was completely losing my mind. She asked for permission through her lips to slip her tongue in, and so I let her. I sucked on it, as if we were transmitting our DNA to each other.
âHmmmm,â I moaned as her hand started massaging my left breast. Her kisses trailed from my lips to my jaw until they reached my ear. She licked it, making me moan in pleasure.
âYou love that?â she asked, her voice laced with curiosity and desire.
âI⦠y-yes,â I stammered, my breath hitching as warmth spread through me.
She cupped my breasts in both hands, giving them a firm squeeze. âAnd what about this?â she teased, her eyes dark with amusement.
âUgh⦠shitâyes, babeâ¦â I gasped, my body arching slightly into her touch.
âJesus Christ, Ruby,â she murmured, her voice dripping with admiration. âYou are so fucking beautiful.â
Before I could respond, she leaned in and wrapped her lips around my right breast, sucking deeply. A sharp moan escaped me as my fingers instinctively tangled in her hair, gripping tightly. The sensation, God, the sensation, was driving me insane. Her tongue flicked against my nipple, teasing, swirling, making me tremble beneath her touch. It was intoxicating, maddening.
When she deemed my right nipple sufficiently swollen from her ministrations, she shifted her attention to the left, capturing it with equal fervor.
âAhh⦠baby! Hmnnnn⦠yes⦠fuck⦠yesâ¦â I moaned, my body responding eagerly to her skilled tongue. My back arched, pushing myself against her mouth, chasing the pleasure she so generously gave. She played with my nipple, swirling her tongue around it before lightly biting down, sending jolts of pleasure straight to my core.
When she was satisfied, she trailed her lips lower, leaving a trail of wet kisses across my heated skin. Her mouth moved with agonizing slowness, and I shivered, the mix of ticklishness and pleasure making me squirm.
She settled between my legs, spreading them apart with gentle hands.
âHold them open for me, baby girl,â she whispered, her breath hot against my inner thigh.
I swallowed hard, my hands trembling slightly as I obeyed, anticipating thrumming through my veins.
She lowered her head between my legs, her tongue flicking out to tease my clit. The moment she made contact, a jolt of pleasure shot through me, and I instinctively gripped her hair, pulling her closer.
She glanced up at me with dark, lust-filled eyes.
"Don't move too much," she murmured, a smirk tugging at her lips. "Let Papi eat you properly."
"Y-yes, babyâ¦" I panted, my thighs trembling.
She pressed a lingering kiss on my swollen bud before dragging her tongue up slowly, torturously. A shiver ran down my spine as the sensation consumed me, a perfect mix of heaven and hell.
"Ahhh⦠S-Sanae⦠hmmmâ¦" I whimpered, my fingers tightening in her hair.
Her tongue swirled over my clit, tracing delicate patterns before flicking against it, sending sparks of pleasure through every nerve in my body. I writhed beneath her, unable to stay still.
"Ugh, yes! Yesâfuck, Sanae! Oh, baby⦠yes⦠hmmmâ¦" I moaned, my voice growing desperate.
I could feel her saliva mixing with the arousal dripping from me, making everything slick and unbearably sensitive.
"You're so wet, baby," she purred against me, her breath hot against my core. "You're practically begging for me to ruin you."
"God, yes, Sanae⦠more⦠pleaseâ¦" I gasped.
She didnât hesitate. Her tongue moved faster, pressing harder, her lips sucking and teasing in a way that made my toes curl. The sudden intensity had me arching off the bed.
"Shit, yes! Lick me like a fucking dog!" I cried out, completely lost in the pleasure.
That must have awakened something in her because she groaned deeply, gripping my thighs tighter as she devoured me with even more hunger. My body trembled as she sucked on my clit, her tongue relentless.
I could feel the coil tightening deep inside me, an unbearable pressure building.
And thenâher fingers.
She slid two fingers inside me effortlessly, pumping them in and out while her mouth never left my clit. My walls clenched around her fingers, my body begging for more.
"Ahhâahhâfuck, Sanae⦠yes⦠yes⦠deeper! Please, don't stop!" I sobbed, completely at her mercy.
"You like that, baby?" she growled, her voice thick with desire. "God, you're so fucking tight."
"Only for you," I choked out, my hands gripping the sheets. "I'mâI'm gonnaâfuckâI'm cumming, baby!"
"Yes," she urged, her pace quickening. "Cum for me, baby. Let me taste every drop."
Her fingers curled inside me, hitting that perfect spot, and that was itâI shattered. My body convulsed as waves of ecstasy crashed over me. My back arched violently, a scream tearing from my throat as I squirted against her mouth.
"Fuck yes," she groaned, lapping up every drop. "You're so fucking crazy, and I love it."
She didn't stop until she had swallowed every bit of my release, her tongue flicking lazily at my overly sensitive clit, making me shudder.
I collapsed against the bed, gasping for air, my chest rising and falling rapidly.
Sanae smirked as she climbed up my body, pressing a soft kiss against my lips. "Breathe, baby," she teased. "You look like you just saw heaven."
"I think I did," I panted, my limbs feeling like jelly.
She chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Might get addicted to giving you heaven and hell" A shiver ran down my spine at the promise in her voice. "You are all mine Ruby"