Chapter 37: CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

THAME-PO ; Heart That Skips A BeatWords: 5436

Po sat down and started reading the letter. He had never imagined that Thame would write and hide something like this for him. Without hesitation, he continued to read, driven by a deep longing for Thame and the unresolved questions still lingering in his heart.

Every word, written in Thame's handwriting, was carefully crafted, painting vivid images in Po’s mind.

Phi Po,

There’s so much I want to tell you. I’m afraid that if I try to say it to your face, I won’t be able to say everything. That’s why I decided to write it down… for you.

As I’m writing this, we’re waiting for the final chart results. Pepper is trying to keep busy so he doesn’t get upset. Nano and Jun are sticking close by, while Dylan has isolated himself. We keep calling him, but he pretends not to hear. As for me, if I don’t do something, I think I’ll lose my mind like the rest of them. So, I decided to write this to you instead.

Do you know, if we succeed, this will be my second All Kill? Honestly, I should be less excited and more composed this time, but somehow, it feels the opposite.

I keep asking myself why… Is it because this All Kill carries the hopes and dreams of everyone? Is it because it means Mars will be whole again? Or is it because this is our first real success as a group?

But I think it’s more than that… All this time, we’ve been trying to climb to the top to prove to the world that we matter—that we’re worth something.

We believed it was something we had to do—whether it was me, the members, or even you.

How else would the world see our value if we weren’t successful?

But the truth is… What kind of world measures our worth with trophies, rankings, and numbers? What kind of people do we have to become to please a world that cruel? When in reality… If we had nothing—if we were still just trainees—would we really have no value?

I kept asking myself that question but never found an answer until…

I met you.

You were the one who made time slow down for me. You were the one who showed me that even if we have nothing, even if we’re not recognized or praised, our work has a value that may be small and unseen—but it’s still there, somewhere, with someone.

And because of you, I realized that this All Kill means more than just saving the group—it’s about saving ourselves from this world.

Mars will conquer a world that demands we hurry, that tells us to abandon each other to be number one. Mars will prove that we are a group that walks together, that supports one another. We’ll be the safe place when someone needs comfort, the cushion when someone falls, and the push to help them rise again—just like you’ve been for me.

And because of you… Mars has been rebuilt with this meaning.

Because of you… I believe that after this All Kill, Mars will be a group that lasts. And none of us will have to drown in loneliness ever again.

I wrote all of this to thank you… and to ask you:

No matter what happens, no matter what I have to face, no matter how hard it gets, please don’t let go of my hand.

Even if the world rejects us, even if it crumbles before us, I still want to stand beside everyone—and you.

Please, stand by me as I am. Be there with me. Let’s fight against a world that expects so much from us, together.

Thame .

The questions that had haunted Po ever since he was deemed "successful" were answered by this letter.

The idea that we only have value when we succeed—it wasn’t true.

We don’t gain value by being successful. Each of us already has value, even when we have nothing at all. It’s just a matter of whether someone sees it or not. And for Po, Thame had always seen his value. From the very beginning, when Po had nothing to show for himself—just a man working a small job in a tailor shop, feeling insignificant.

That’s why, in the end, being a director, stepping over Earn—it all felt meaningless. Because those weren’t the true measures of a person’s worth.

It wasn’t about possessions, awards, or achievements. It was about the quality of the moments shared between people—eyes meeting eyes, hearts beating in sync. What truly mattered about Mars wasn’t their number-one rankings or the opportunity to go to Korea—it was the time they spent together.

If you miss out on an award, you can always try again. But time and people, once lost, can never be regained.

Po had once given Mars and Thame that time. He was the one who helped Thame understand what he truly wanted. But it was also Po who had taken it away from Thame.

Tears rolled down Po’s cheeks, soaking into the ink on Thame’s letter. His heart was filled with nothing but regret.

Regret for believing that success was the ultimate goal.

Regret for thinking that standing on top was the best thing he could give Thame—when it wasn’t what Thame wanted at all.

Po wiped his tears. Could he fix this? Was there still something he could do? He grabbed his phone and tried calling Thame.

"The number you have dialed is no longer in service."

Po didn’t know what else to do. He called Ming.

“Ming, can you find Thame’s number for me?”

“How would I have it, Ai Po? I’m not Phi Mick. Why don’t you try calling him?”

He couldn’t let Phi Mick find out. Instead, Po told Ming:

“Then go up to the rooftop. Is Thame there?”

“Sure,” Ming sounded confused. “Why are you looking for Thame anyway?”

TO BE CONTINUED.