The last few days had been an emotional blur for Ella. While she did not want to interfere in Helen's love life, she did wish to let her know the truth about her past relationship with William, and to subtly ask her to be careful. During all of Ella's recent interactions with the Hawthorne party, William included, James had stayed close to her. Ella could not tell if it was out of protection or him suddenly being territorial. Or perhaps out of something else entirely. Regardless of the reason, she found his attention comforting in ways she did not believe possible. The current evening however was another story. Ella and James had been relegated to having a dinner party at Hamsfield Manor with all the local members of high society.
"I still do not see why we cannot just throw everyone out." Ella let out a frustrated huff.
"I do not believe it would look well on either of our reputations if we did." A slight twitch from James' lips hinted at his humor.
"Yes we would not want to damage my innocent reputation and we definitely would not want society to see you as a recluse." Ella leaned into his strong frame and he responded with a hand ghosting along her spine.
"Yes that would be tragic." He breathed into her neck.
"I prefer dinner with just us." Ella purred in his ear.
"Preferably in bed." His hand rested on her hip and Ella bit her lip while tilting her head up to his. James' eyes darkened as he closed the distance between them.
"That would be nice."
"Yes it would." His lips gently grazed hers and Ella let out a soft moan in response.
She hesitantly pulled away, lifting her eyes to his. "Unfortunately we do still have guests to attend, since someone will not ask them to leave." James let out an annoyed grunt as Ella stepped away, her hand lingering in his as she headed to the other ladies.
"You know I am going to have to make you pay for that."
"I look forward to it." She winked in response.
******
The evening passed by with plenty of laughter and stories shared at the table. After dinner finished, Ella quickly headed to the library to grab a book to occupy herself with while the ladies chatted in the parlor. As she turned to leave she realized she had been joined by the last person she wanted to be alone with.
"Ella."
"Lady Winters, Mr. Evans."
"Such formality for two people who know each other as we do."
"Formality is left for strangers and acquaintances, which is exactly what we are."
"We were not always."
"Whose fault is that?" Ella lifted her chin as he cooly stared at her. The look brought the memories of the night she ended their engagement. The one accompanied with him telling her that they would be together again.
"You cannot honestly tell me that you are happy. You never cared for all the grandeur of nobility."
"It is no longer your concern if I am happy or not."
William stepped toward her, causing Ella's back to be forced into the shelves of the library. "Ella." He whispered her name, almost as a taunt.
"If there is nothing more we should return to our parties before they become concerned."
He reached out to brush a strand of hair behind her ear, and Ella's body tensed at the intimate touch. "Is that what you are truly worried about or is it because we have unfinished business."
Ella scoffed at his words and attempted to push him away. "You and I have no unfinished business and you must be delusional to think otherwise."
She pushed him again with all her strength and built up anger, causing him to stumble backwards. Ella began to cross the room with haste, when William roughly grabbed her arm and slammed her back to the wall. Ella did not register the sound of books falling off the shelves as William's lips roughly pressed against hers. She desperately tried to struggle in his grasp, but his larger frame only pushed her harder against the wall.
"I remember how much you used to enjoy this." He snarled at her as his hand snaked under her skirts. Ella felt a tear roll down her cheek as she tired from the fight. William reverently kissed her cheek to erase the tears.
"Oh my love, there is no need for that. We both know this is what you truly want."
Before a sob could escape her, his lips crashed to hers in another bruising kiss. Ella closed her eyes hoping, praying that it would end. Suddenly all the weight that held her up disappeared and Ella slumped to the ground from the shock. As she worked to gather herself, she saw James' fist land on William's jaw with a sickening crack. Ella was just able to observe William stumble to the ground through her tear blurred vision.
"I suggest you leave my house at once before I string you up and drag you out with my horse!" James' commanding voice boomed through the library. William scrambled to his feet and looked at Ella with a satisfied grin before exiting the room.
Ella rose to her feet, noticing the tension in James' body. She let out a shaky breath as he dropped his head in something similar to defeat, letting out a nearly inaudible whisper, "What am I to do now?"
Never had Ella imagined that silence could be deafening, yet in that moment in the library she stood corrected. Unfortunately for Ella the silence had made it difficult to gather her thoughts about what had transpired. Just as she started to process James' previos words laughter from another room brought her back to the present.
"What do you mean?" Her voice wavered on the question.
James let out a sigh before turning to her. "You told me there was nothing left between the two of you."
Ella blinked in surprise, confused by his reaction. "There is nothing between us."
"That is not how it looked from my perspective."
A sudden and unreasonable anger washed over her. Ella knew she should explain in detail what had happened, but the shocking hurt that hit her had taken over. "So you think I lied to you for what? Hoping he came here tonight so we could sneak away from a household full of people to engage in an affair!"
"It would not surprise me considering your family." The sound of her hand against his cheek echoed through the room. Ella did not even realize her arm had moved before it had connected with his face. She barely registered the mixture of shock, anger and, hurt across his face before she walked to the library door.
"Please inform our guests that I have taken ill and will not be joining them." Ella kept herself composed as she sped through the manor to her room.
As if her body sensed the relative safety of the four walls within, the moment she crossed the threshold she collapsed in tears. After sometime as Ella calmed herself, she noticed Jane kneeling beside her rubbing soothing circles on her back.
"I suppose it was too much to hope for."
"Hope for what My Lady?"
"Happiness." A shock of laughter overcame Ella before the tears shadowed her vision once more.
******
Time passed in a blur, but if Ella had to guess several hours had passed since the last carriage departed. She suspected it was the Hawthorne's, who were likely questioning the disappearance of her and their companion. Based on the time between them and the previous departure she could not be sure how much if anything James had told them.
Ella lifted her head to survey the room. The candles that once illuminated the room were nearly burned out, creating a soft glow around the room. At some point after she had calmed down Jane had settled into a chair near the window and had fallen asleep. The entire night Ella tried to think back to the library and look at it with sensibility, to see James' view, but was unable.
Constant thoughts to events from two years prior plagued her mind. Ella was happy and content in her life even though she constantly had to step in and cover for her sister's less than proper mentality. Annabelle Hunter always lived life to what she considered the fullest. She often oozed charmed and to say that the visiting military men enjoyed her company would be a gross understatement. Annabelle had also been the object of affection of the son of a wealthy local man.
While Ella was being courted by William, Annabelle had eloped with the son of one Mr. Tyler. Her parents for all their surprise tried their best to be supportive of Annabelle's whims. It took only a short few months for Annabelle to come to Ella saying her new husband was not who she imagined. Constantly she would tell Ella he drank more than spoke to her and at times became uncomfortably vocal to her.
Ella had spoken with William about it , and to his knowledge he had never heard any ill words about the younger Mr. Tyler. She had told Annabelle that if she ever felt unsafe around him that she would help her as best as possible. Than one fateful evening Ella and WIlliam where in the gardens at Knighton Park when a runner came to find her, and so she and William headed to Annabelle with haste.
Upon their arrival, Ella found her sister in the parlour curled up in tears. When WIlliam entered the room moments after her, his face grim, was when Ella became aware how dire the situation was. Leaving the parlour, Ella walked to the study only to be stopped in her tracks by a pair of swinging legs above her. The poor Mr. Tyler had taken his life for reasons unknown at the time.
The act was one that would bring such shame and embarrassment to his family that without a moment's hesitation Ella had William and the runner, who followed them back, cut the lifeless body down. They decided the best option was to make it appear as if he had taken a fall from the stairs in some hope to save his family some amount of pain from the knowledge of the selfish act.
The elder Mr. Tyler never believed his son's death was not an accident and was quite adamant that Annabelle had something to do with. At the time Ella believed it was just a proud man grieving his only son, but then she learned the truth. It was then Ella discovered Annabelle and William in a rather compromising position. All his begging and pleading about Annabelle using her grief and sympathy to bed him fell on deafs ear. As it turned out Annabelle's husband had feared she was having an affair. He had loved her so much that the hurt upon its discovery was too much for him to bare.
Ella had discovered letters from several men that she had taken as lovers in her short marriage. After learning of her own fiancee laying with Annabelle she decided that her own reputation did not matter and that if someone did not believe or trust her as she did them, then they were nothing to her.
When Ella's father had learned the truth behind Annabelle's actions he chose to disown her. Although it broke both of her parents hearts, they knew she would never learn her lesson and continue to hurt those around her. He gave Annabelle the full amount of her dowry and told her that her life now belonged to her and her alone. It was the last time Ella had seen or heard from her sister.
Without even realizing it, Ella had packed a small bag and had begun to walk to the door of her room. A quiet shuffle behind her drew her to a stop mid step only to hear Jane's voice in the darkness, "My Lady? Where are you going?"
"Home."