I'm so in love,
with all the melancholic poetry
which is why
I always try to find
my next little tragedy -
(maybe that's part of why I keep choosing you
out of everyone I ever knew)
but I wanna write something less sad
once and for all -
I try to allow myself to just be,
maybe I don't need to always fly or fall...
I allow myself to eat,
without needing to feel
so guilty
(I split my cookie, but this time the bigger half is the one I give to NOT you but me - sorry)
and I allow myself to sleep
and keep my thoughts for tomorrow,
'cause I don't need to drown myself
in so much sorrow
just for the sake of poetry -
maybe I can try my hand
at writing something happier instead.
I still allow myself to feel
everything so deeply,
as I always do
(I don't know any different way)
but I'll allow myself to let go too
and even if it's hard and it's tough
this has got to be enough -
for now.
I might not always feel so seen
as I wished I could be -
but I know they still love me
and they're just people as well,
as you can tell.
so I allow myself to heal
and to see
that that doesn't kill my mystery
(I can still be so much -
maybe even more...)
maybe I don't need to be
chasing after melancholy,
in fact I know it will always follow me -
it's still within me
(always)
and in the times between?
I will be happy and I will be free...
and it just feels like for the first time I really start to see
that I don't need to be
so much tragedy -
in order just to be something...
(I am already something).
~
~
could this maybe be a new chapter of some hopeful poetry following? :) let's find out...
I still have some more of my usual melancholic/ sadder stuff in my drafts that I will publish, but this just feels so right, right now... wrote this one just a few days ago.
anyway I really hope you liked this poem (one, I'm most proud of probably) - let me know what you think in the comments.
And thank you so so much for reading!
xo, Sð¹â¤ï¸