Sitting in the front seat of his car, Mehr regretted having a good heart. She should have told Mustufa no! She should have stayed at home and made a beautiful sapphire pendant she was working on these days. Looking at the approaching signal, Mehr prayed with all her heart for the lights to turn green because she didn't want a beggar going "Allah jori salamat rakhay!".
The silence. She hated how she could hear him breathe. It was more of a sexual tension. Deciding that she needed to divert her attention, she took out her phone and texted Bestie. Good for her, bestie replied instantly, and she smiled. She loved how he replied immediately to her. Even if the texts were like "Don't disturb, busy rn." They made her feel important!
The last messages weren't getting delivered and Mehr was angry as hell! Mehr turned to look at Behzad who was staring ahead at the road. He didn't seem jealous at all. Then his Iphone 13 pinged and despite telling herself that she won't look into his phone, she looked at it and her mood was spoiled. It was a text from Maneeha asking him, if dinner worked for him.
Why do I care if he's going out with Maneeha? Why does it matter? Bestie goes out with other girls too? Mujhe tab tu farq nai parta?
Bestie doesn't throws me under the bus for them....
YEAH right!
Mehr didn't know how much time she spent having the verbal spat with her alter ego. Dadi, was an absolute delight. She was not the puranay khayalat wali Dadi as Mehr had expected. Instead, she rocked jeans and a lawn shirt. Mehr loved her. But shopping with her not so much. Shopping with Dadi was as exhausting as it would get because Dadi couldn't choose to save her life.
Behzad had charmed her into accepting Mustufa's wife, Mehr didn't know how and then they had spent the whole day shopping for the perfect Valima dress. With all shadi stuff, happening around her Mehr felt ... Blank. She didn't know what to feel. Maybe Irsa was right. Maybe she should not ward guys off. Maybe instead of looking for love, she should start looking at it for companionship.
"I think this one look good." Behzad said as he stood behind Mehr, eyeing the designer dress.
"Par..." Mehr began only to cut off by the eager Salesgirl.
"Sir bilkul thek bol rahain hain. This is the perfect dress." Mehr eyed the girl who was looking at Behzad as if he was the best thing she had ever seen. Mehr eyed Behzad and remembered how it was with him and women! She wanted to shout, 'iski tu jawline bhi nai hai ... Height bhi thori choti hai...Phir what do you find attractiveee...."
The same thing that attracts you, a voice answered.
Red flags?
"Bete app dono , pasand karlain. Main thak gaen hoon." Dadi said and then took a seat.
"App nay apna naam kya bataya?" Behzad asked her.
"Nayab, sir !" The salesgirl replied smiling even brightly and Mehr wanted to scratch face in frustration.
"Nayab, like your name, do you have some more exceptional dresses that we can buy." He was looking in her eyes.
"Something in ice blue?" He asked.
"Par Mam par red suit karay ga..." Nayab replied, and Mehr could feel the heat rushing.
"Bingo Nayab! I knew you were smart." He said and Nayab left.
"Why did you not tell her?" Mehr demanded as she moved around the racks to explore the dresses.
"Tell her what?" Behzad asked.
"That we aren't a couple. And it's not for us."
"Relax a little, cutie. Uske samjhnay say kuch nai hota. Now go try the dress..."
"Try kyun karoon?" Mehr asked. She didn't want to wear red! No no no! She didn't want to look herself in the mirror wearing a bridal dress. She didn't want to imagine the forbidden.
"Because, like Mustufa said. His girl is just around your height."
"Tu woh khud kyun nai ajati.... Also, what if she didn't like it." Mehr replied irritated.
"Why are you complaining to me. Mustufa ko mana karna tha na... Also Dadi asked you to get something for yourself..." He told her and then went to Dadi to ask if she needed anything.
In the dressing room, Mehr stared at the fancy red bridal lenghna.
"Apke Shahuar , MashAllah bohat purkashish hain!"
"Alhumdulilah!" Mehr replied and was surprised with herself. Why had she not corrected the salesgirl?
Alhumdulilah? Where did that came from. What is wrong with me. Why am I acting like a teenager?
"Par yeh lehnga , Valima k hisab say thora zyda nai..."
"Nai nai, it's good . You'll look dazzling. Apke shauhar nay bhi approve kar dia hai..."
Mehr held the blouse, as she looked at herself in the mirror.
"I don't know...." Mehr said as she held the dress up.
The dress no doubt looked as if it was made for her. The neck-line was modest but highlighted her collar bones. It was perfect. Mehr stared at herself in the mirror and tried to blink away the tears. What was wrong with her? Why was she crying?
"Cutie- I am told that- " his voice died as he stared at her tear stricken face.
"Mehr..." He asked as he came to stand behind her. She shivered as she felt her back press against his chest. Mehr looked at herself in the mirror and then at him, who was standing behind her. They looked perfect. They did.
And even though she shouldn't, she couldn't help it. She leaned back a little and collided with his chest. She relaxed into him and let her head fall on his chest.
"Mehr-un-Nisa...." He whispered into her ear. She could feel his breath on her collar bone. He was too close. She could feel the tension in his voice.
"Mehr-un-Nisa?" He repeated. It was more of a plea.
What was she supposed to say. Her throat was clogging. She blinked as if blinking was going to calm the volcano of emotions that was erupting and then tried to remove herself from his embrace. She had to move away from him, to feel better. He wasn't hers. And she didn't belong to anyone. It was how it was. And it wasn't going to change. She had allowed herself quite a liberty.
"Whoops", the sales girl said from behind them and Mehr pulled back, all dizzy and breathless and teary eyed.
"We are taking this," Behzad said without his eyes, leaving hers. His voice was husky.
The ride back home was as awkward as it could get. They had to drop Dadi, back at Mustufa's. Mehr sat in the back seat, while Dadi sat in front. Mehr nervously looked around staring out at the road. Today had been so emotionally exhausting for her. It was so close to her forbidden dream. So perfect. She could still feel his arms surrounding her protecting her. His voice full of concern.
She noticed his eyes on her from the review mirror and blushed. Sliding towards the side, she tried to hide behind the seat but he adjusted the mirror and so she was back in his view. In the mirror, when she met his eyes, she knew her cheeks were red. She was 28! Why was she suddenly feeling 18? The song, "No love by Shubh" was making it all dramatic.
Did he do on purpose? "Aida nai chaldaaa pyarr.....", echoed as she pondered . Maybe she was reading a lot into it. Maybe, he just played the sang because he liked it. Mehr was going to let the song slide, until she heard the line "Thodi day kaala til jo paunda se maut kudhe...." And suddenly she felt self-conscious as she tried to hide the black mole on her chin! The lyrics resonated with her and then he had to look at her from the mirror at the exact moment Shubh sang that toodi wala till line. What was the obsession of Punjabi singers with the 'thodi wala til".
Chill karo Mehr. He doesn't mean it. Asiay he laga dia hai gana.. He doesn't love me. He told me he's going to marry Maneeha. Wese bhi ganay ki beat achi hai.. Isiliye lagaya hai.
Chalo yeh coincidence ho gaya. Why is the next songs Sadaa Pyar(by Ap Dhillion)? Hein ? A voice asked her.
Shsshhhh ! It's just Punjabi music on Spotify. He doesn't mean a thing. You are looking way too much into this, Mehr! Pyar kahan say agaya . Hum tu dost bhi nai hain !
Dost? Are you kidding me? Bestie is your dost. Behzad isn't your dost. You don't see him as a dost. Why do you want to lean into him but not Bestie? Why do you feel like you need to hold him hand in yours? Bestie ka hath pakranay ka khayal tu kabhi nai aya?
And do you want me to mention all the things that you have thought and the dreams he had invaded ?
Mehr hated her alter ego more than she hated Behzad. When they pulled into Mustufa's driverway, Mehr helped Dadi inside while Behzad carried everything inside. Except that dress. He didn't feel like giving that away. That was not for Mustufa's gurl. It was for Mehr-un-Nisa and he wasn't giving it away. He was going to smooth talk Mustufa to find one for his gurl.
Dadi turned to Mehr and said "Shukriya bete, apke bagir main kya karti. Allah apko ko kush rakhay. Abad rakhay."
Behzad leaned and whispered something in Dadi's ear which made her laugh with delight. She then pulled Behzad's ear playfully but whispered "Haan wohi. Ameen." Mehr watched them and wondered what they were talking about. She could give her fortune away just to listen what they both were whispering about.
Sneek tu sneek hai!!! Dadi bhi uske sath mil gaen hai. Ek banda khara hai aur uske samnay khanon main batain kar rahay hain. Why is sneek always this mannerless? Sharam kyun nai ati kabhi isko !
(What he whispered: [ "Behzad k sath" bholna hota hai. Allah apko kush rakhay , Behzad k sath hota hai...])
In the driveway, Mehr decided that she was going to sit in the back. She had enough of him for the day. She couldn't do more. Pulling the door, she was about to get in when she heard his voice from the front.
"Madam jee, you going to move back up here with me?"
"I kind of like it back here," Mehr said, faking unconcern. "Gari ghar lay chalo, Driver"
"Get your butt up here, Mehr-un-Nisa." Behzad told her.
"Only if you tell me what you whispered in Dadi's ear." She countered.
"It's a secret." He told her.
"Tu phir I am not riding shotgun with you."
"Nai bolta main Ameen, if the gajray bechay wala goes "Allah apki jori salamat rakhay...Ajain agae baith jain...." He told her and Mehr laughed out loud as she got out of car.
"It's not that. I rode shotgun with bestie and with Mustufa too. Abhi tak kisi nay nai bola. I just don't want to be spotted by Maneeha and infuriate her further.", she replied.
"Jori salamat ki dua tu apko mile ge.. Agr gajray wale aye.. Kyunke unko bhi sense hai k kisko , deni hai yeh dua... Ab itni dashing personality bethi hai apke sath... dua tu mile ge apko..."
"Nai chahiye mujhe apke sath yeh dua... It has never happened until now and I hope it wouldn't. The dua is special and the moment is supposed to be special...."
They were five minutes away from home. It was the last signal in their way when the cute pathan kid knocked on the window. Behzad rolled them down instead of ignoring like he should have. Ofcourse! Mehr rolled her eyes as she watched him.
"Bhai lay lain na gajray..."
"Main kya karoon ga lay ke..."
"Pehnain gay baji ko aur kya..." The pathan kid replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His red cheeks reddened.
"Baji, ko nai chahiyen na..."
"Chahiyen apko?" he asked as he looked at her.
"Apke paisoon ka kuch nai chahiye..." Mehr replied as she dug in her bag for a change.
"Naraz hain app say..." The boy replied as he looked at Behzad .
"Humesha he hoti hain..." Behzad murmured.
"Tu app unhain mana lain na...." Pathan boy suggested as he handed over the mootiya gajray.
"App maan jayen na..." Behzad asked looking at her.
What was he 5? Maan jayen.....Aisay kese maan jayen... Mano bhai ! Naraz kiya hai tu mano...Warna bhag jao.
" Nai maan rahi..." He said as he looked at the kid for help.
"Maan jayen ge... App kohsish kariye ga unhain many ki... aur main dua karoon ga k allah ap dono ko kush rakhay..." the kid replied, handling back the change which Mehr asked him to keep. Before Mehr could tell him that he was getting it all wrong, the signal opened.
Her eyes flickered over to Behzad's, which were shining.
"Don't !"
"Kaha tha na... jab itni dashing personality ho tu , dua mil jati hai..."
"Kush rehnay ki dua mili hai.. You said jori salamat..."
"Sem thing..." HE mused.
"No, it's not..."
" Yes you are right... Main Maneeha aur app....ek ghar main kush rahain ... aisa bhi tu ho sakta hai...."
"Can you please shut up?"
"Apke liye kuch bhi kar sakta hoon , Mehr jee...." He replied.
Assalam Alikum ( i am sorry that you have to hear my mehngai rant)
YAAR ITNI MEHNGAI HAI!!!! Abhi petrol tank full karwa k arahi hoon aur bhai jaan main , brokee afff !!!! YA ALLAH MUJHE EK PETROL PUMP DAY takay main har friday gareebon main free petrol bantoon.
I HATE YOU SHEHBAZ SHARIFF !!! I wanna go back in purana Pakistan.......
Lots of Love
Alyna