I had understood this when I saw Lucius' desperation to have me.
If I died after the curse was reversed, they would have enough time to build another dome, or perhaps escape somewhere else.
It was the necessary solution.
'Don't say ridiculous things, Your Majesty,' the grumpy old Sir Oskel surprised me with his refusal. 'We could never do such a thing.'
'Sir Oskel is right, Your Majesty, we will do no such thing,' refused little Sir Gwen.
'In case we did, even if it were barbaric,' began Rythel, 'how can you be sure that Lucius will not cast the curse again.'
'Because I would take them with me. I know I don't have much control over my powers, but I think I can handle them enough to create an explosion that will make us all disappear. That way, there will be no more heirs, no more special powers, no more evil rulers. You will be in charge of Crescendo and Bieno will be free to find a new leader.'
The four men reflected silently.
'I still do not agree,' pronounced Sir Oskel, 'you are the heiress of the very Crey, the first King, your blood is too important to be lost. You are worth so much.'
'It is only me. My life is not worth more than that of hundreds of people.'
I found it hard to understand why they cared so much about keeping me alive, being able to risk thousands and thousands more lives.
'Your Majesty, I don't think...' Sir Oskel wanted to continue.
'Sir Oskel, I remind you that we are merely advisors, advisors to the Crown. It is only Princess Gaia who can make decisions.' Rythel confronted him directly.
It was the first time he had ever referred to me as Gaia, and after he rebuked me for not taking on the real responsibility of my position, he made me feel significant.
I was making the right decision.
'I'm glad you think so. Tomorrow we leave for the Kingdom of Bieno, prepare a small group of men. The rest of you stay here and watch for the magic to be restored. I know that you will be able to lead the Kingdom of Crescendo.'
I withdrew to the room that had been designated for me.
I went back to the trunk full of my mother's dresses. I examined them one by one, trying to choose an appropriate one for the last day of my life.
Although I was afraid, and didn't want to die, I was convinced that everything would be all right. My parents and my adoptive mother would be waiting for me on the other side and that was reassuring.
I dug and dug until I found the golden dress that I had seen my mother wearing in the painting of the old castle.
'Perfect,' I said, caressing the fabric.
I threw myself on the bed and tried to close my eyes.
I had to sleep, I had to rest so that I would be strong enough to finish everything tomorrow. I clenched my mother's necklace in my fist and let my dreams sink me low enough to escape reality.
A new dream came to me.
I was walking in the woods. The sun was shining through the high branches of the trees. It was permeating my skin. Birds were flying free and fairies were running around me holding hands. I went out into a field, where I saw a beautiful white horse running, accompanied by a black one. The field was full of flowers of different colors, textures and scents.
And in the distance, a shadow was approaching, at first slowly, until it was behind me.
'Don't do it,' he whispered in my ear. 'You have what you need.'
'What?' I asked in confusion.
'Hold on.'
I woke up scared.
I had never felt anything like that before.
'Dreams are dreams.' I said to myself, trying to calm down.
No matter what time it was, I got dressed. The golden dress fit me perfectly, too. The necklace glowed, every detail of it, its gold threads, its wooden sculpture and its small white circle, whiter than ever. It shone next to the gold of the dress.
When I looked at myself in the mirror, I was breathless. It was so magnificent that it made me look extraordinary.
I waited a very long time until they came to get me. Rythel knocked on my door and asked me to come with him. His eyes widened as he saw me in my dress. He seemed to remember the dress, it seemed to make him feel special in some way. It made me feel that way too, like my mother was walking with me.
I was going out into the big hall with the round table and, for the first time, the Comrades just bowed to me, not talking to me, not protesting, not scolding me.
I continued to walk outside and what I found left me breathless.
All the people of the Kingdom were on both sides of the street, standing still. I walk without hesitation and, as I passed, they bowed to me.
I reached the yellow house and there were Cara, Aly, Annie, Fred and Rich. Aaron and Russell were not there, but I decided not to make a big deal out of it. I understood if Russell couldn't see me leave, if it was the other way around, I would feel the same way.
They were all escorting me to my final destination.
I arrived at the tree, knowing this time that it was for the last time. I caressed it, thanking it silently for all it had done. For taking care of my people, for letting me in when no one knew who I was, for recognizing me as part of this Kingdom.
A beautiful tree that guards the magnificent Kingdom of Crescendo. My Kingdom, my home, I would miss it, although the thought that everyone would be well filled me with courage.
On the outside, a carriage was waiting for me.
'This is as far as I go, Your Majesty,' Rythel informed me.
'You will not come with me?'
'No, I must stay here, the Kingdom will need all of us.' He came up to my ear and said: 'It was a pleasure to meet you.'
I smiled at him because I knew he supported me in this decision. He was the only one supporting me at this moment.
'It was a pleasure to meet you,' I told him and then walked straight to the carriage.
Not knowing where they got it from, but not asking, I jumped on it, opening the door carelessly.
Inside, I found two people.
'Aaron? Russell? What are you doing here?' I told them in amazement, taking a seat in front of them.
'We weren't going to leave you alone, not now.' Aaron told me, smiling.
'I'll go with you anywhere, Princess.' Russell watched me with tenderness and love.
And I knew he loved me enough to put up with seeing me with someone else, to accept that I might never be his, and to live with that. We were together, even if we were apart.
'Thank you, both of you.'
Before I was tempted to kiss Russell, I looked out the window of the carriage.
The woods looked strange from this perspective. So much time had passed since I had been walking through it after my day's work was over.
Nothing would be the same anymore, I would never be able to go through it again.
'Stop the carriage. Stop the carriage please!' I shouted to the driver who stopped the two horses that were taking us.
'Princess, what's going on?' Russell asked me, watching me get off the carriage.
I got off and walked to the trees. I touched them and breathed as much air as I could. This was my last chance to feel part of the woods, part of the earth, part of every inch of life.
I closed my eyes and let the wind blow around me.
'Hold on, I'm with you...' I heard the voice once again in my head.
I opened my eyes and got up.
Why should I hold on? There is nothing to hold on to, no reason to hold on. Besides, who was it? Who was talking to me?
Nothing mattered now.
All that remained was to do what had to be done.
I got on the carriage and no one questioned the reason for my actions. We followed the road until we reached the vicinity of Bieno.
My heart pounded as I recognized the streets of the much-feared Kingdom that had seen me grow.
'It's uglier than I imagined,' Aaron said.
'It's...sinister.' Russell added.
We stopped.
Some guards from Bieno wouldn't let us stay on the carriage. They claimed it wasn't safe for an enemy carriage to come so close to the castle, but I knew they were doing it to humiliate me, to make me walk among the people who hated me, who loathed me.
I went down without fear, although the looks of the citizens of Bieno did not welcome me. The comments about me were not long in coming, some even insulting me.
I ignored them, I could not lose control, not when I was so close to achieving my purpose. I began to walk the dirty streets of Bieno, in my golden dress and high heels.