Chapter 12: Chapter eleven

Hai :) I know a handful of people are reading this and I'd really appreciate it if you'd become a fan or vote for the story if you like it, would mean alot. Apologies,  I know this chapter is pretty shoddy but I'll try and work on it :']

Thankye. <3

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CHAPTER ELEVEN

I don’t know how many minutes passed in that car, tucked away round the side of a building. The only noise came from  Keith’s soft murmuring as he brushed his hands through my hair, Percy’s anguished sobs and my own silent tears as they fell in streams down my face. I always wondered how I would react when I received horrible news, always wondered if I would lose my breath like in the movies or if I’d pass out for the first time in my life.

None of those things happened.

I sat silently, staring straight ahead, breathing so slowly that I almost forgot how to. I tucked my legs up to my chin and concentrated on a small piece of dirt, or blood, on the dashboard. I didn’t think, I simply stared. I wondered how that piece of dirt got on the dashboard, I wondered if it really was blood. I wondered whose blood it was. I wondered for minute upon minute, aware that Keith’s eyes were boring into the side of my head, aware the Lucas had been whispering my name. Aware, but not really aware.

I only really crumbled when Keith let out a soft groan and pulled my body into his, pushing himself over till he was sat awkwardly on the gearstick, cradling me while I cried. I couldn’t bear to look at Lucas, see his face. My heart screamed to stay positive, that anything could have happened, that they could still be alive yet somehow, I still felt that very same heart breaking with each breath I took. I’d seen my best friend’s dead body spread across the pavement, how could I possibly say my family weren’t a few metres away from her in the same position?

Oh god.

‘I need to..’ I didn’t get to finish my sentence; I barely had time to shove the door open before I was sick on the pavement, sobbing every second I was. I couldn’t even feel the raw pain in my throat, I didn’t even care about what was happening because nothing would ever be the same again, everything was gone.

Everything I loved, gone. Lucas, I needed Lucas. I whipped round, ready to climb into the backseat and take away the hurt in his eyes but as I turned, my breath caught in my throat.

‘No’

An infected had crept right up on me, a young boy barely up to my waist growling and spitting blood. His hair was matted with fresh red liquid and his leg had a massive garish cut running across the pale surface of his skin. I took it all in as he grabbed onto me, jaw agape, ready to bite. For a second I didn’t fight, only thought about my own little brother with his beautiful eyes, his huge ambitions. The way he was so good at puzzles, better than me, the way I was going to teach him guitar, teach him everything my brother and my parents had taught me. In that second I locked eyes with my older brother who was already out of the car, already shouting at me to move. Keith was right next to him, yelling at me, pleading at me to run. I saw it written all over their faces, both of them. That same emotion from earlier screamed from Keith’s face as he moved, he looked genuinely terrified, shocked. My brother wore the same expression but he looked angry, furious.

And then in those secnds which were moving like minutes, something seemed to hit me that perhaps should have a little while ago.

These people cared about me; I was something to these boys who saw danger and immediately threw themselves in front of the bullet to help me. My hands instinctively shot out to the infected’s shoulders as I pushed him away from me, taking a step backwards. Lucas grabbed the child, whoever he was, and manoeuvred him away from us, wincing as he shoved him to the  floor and knocked his head against the pavement.

‘Stupid girl’ Keith’s voice sounded exposed and fragile as he glared at me, holding me at shoulders length, ‘Don’t hesiatate again, don’t you fucking dare, I’m not losing you so don’t you go and get yourself killed, okay?’

‘Okay’ I whispered, looking into his eyes which were filled with so much emotion, so much raw anger. Losing people... can it really happen this quickly? Did Skylar hesitate like me, did she struggle?

‘Harley’ Lucas shook his head as he stepped towards me, not looking away for even a second, ‘What were you thinking, what the hell were you thinking?’

‘I don’t know’ I breathed, wondering how I could have given such disregard to my own life. Mum would never let me do that, never. My heart panged painfully.

‘Don’t you do that’ he began to sob, breaking my heart further as he shook on my shoulders, ‘You think I can lose all of you in one day? You’d do that?’

‘No, no I wouldn’t’ I replied firmly, pursing my lips so I didn’t start crying, ‘Please Lucas, they might be okay, they might be..’

‘Don’t get your hopes up Harley, please don’t. It’ll just hurt you more’.

We all stood for a minute, out in the open, out with the infected barely any distance away before Percy clicked open his door almost silently.

‘I-I’m sorry guys but I think we’d better get moving. I really think we should’.

Keith looked awkwardly to me and Lucas before Lucas himself nodded and shot us a small smile, both of us.

‘He’s right. We have to go’.

‘But mu-‘

‘Harley..’ Lucas groaned into his hands, ‘I want them to be okay as much as you do, you know that but oh god, Mum’s purse, she never went anywhere without it, she wouldn’-‘

‘She would if she was being chased. I’m looking for them’ I said determinedly, looking warily towards the masses of infected crowding the roads ahead. I didn’t care, I was going to find them.

‘No’ three voices said in unison. I scowled towards their faces, knowing I’d already made my decision.

‘I’m going’.

‘No’ Lucas snapped, his eyes ablaze, ‘You’re not bloody going, I am keeping you safe no matter what, I promised Mum and Dad, I promised them..’

‘And you can promise them again when I find them’.

‘Please’ Keith’s voice was much softer than Lucas’, much less angry. It was a side to him I almost knew he rarely shared, he was so very strong that this vulnerability was enough to throw me, ‘Please, I know you want to do this, and I won’t stand in your way. But let me come with you, if you won’t change your mind’.

I lost my breath for a minute as Lucas growled angrily.

‘Keith, come on man seriously, I’m trying to keep her safe here!’

‘I know, I’m sorry and I only want the same but if she’s gonna do this, then I’m helping her’.

‘She won’t do this’ He sighed, looking at me pleadingly.

‘I will’.

‘You see, wouldn’t you rather I was with her while she looked, rather than she went it alone? I know we've not known each other all that long but I'm not seeing somebody else get killed Lucas, especially not Harle-’

‘Jesus Keith, you’d risk your life because you have a stupid bloody crush on her?’

‘What? It’s not like that’ he bit back, staring my brother down.

What?

‘You know it is’ Lucas countered, ‘Come on, you don’t have to hide from me. I see how you look at her when she’s not looking, how you keep laying your life on the line for her. Jesus, when that kid jumped out you practically burst a lung to get to her!’

‘I care about her! We're going through this together, we have to help one another’.

‘I see that!’ Lucas snapped, ‘I get it, I fucking get it! She’s a pretty girl, you’re a guy, you wanna protect her but do not put her in danger because you have a thing for her!’

‘Stop it’ I bit at them suddenly, holding my hands up. I was a little surprised when they actually stopped arguing and stared at me but didn’t let it deter me.

‘Nobody has ‘a thing’ for anybody, a-‘

‘Harley, wake up will you? You think I don’t see you do the same things to him? You two have something going on and whatever, it’s fine, but I’m not letting either of you wreck your lives for it!’

‘Nobody’ I repeated angrily, ‘has a thing for anybody. It doesn’t matter now anyway Lucas, I’m finding our parents and our little brother so who cares anyway?’.

My own words sounded dishonest to my ears, like I was trying to convince myself. Until the words left my mouth I had assumed it to be true – of course I felt something towards Keith, of course I did, he was this vibrant, insane boy who’d crashed into my life and I’d just connected with but I’d assumed it to be simple, spur of the moment madness, nothing like what Lucas was insinuating. In this world, there was no romance, no feelings, nothing other than the blind need to survive. I couldn't deny I had a fire to protect him, to seek him out and let him make me feel better but I had told myself that would be the case with anybody.

‘Stop trying to distract me’ I looked at my brother who was clearly trying to calm himself down, his unsteady breathing was enough to confirm that. I reached for his cold hand; his eyes were sad and my heart was sad but there was nothing more to say, to do.

‘You take after Mum, you know that?’ Lucas laughed silently down at me, ‘Stubborn, determined and a bit mad. I couldn’t be more proud of you’.

‘I know’ I smiled back, feeling as though we were reaching the end of something. I had grown up so much in the last few days, and that’s all it had been, days. The longest and worst days of my life in which I’d aged about a century. There was nothing more to do than carry on, to keep looking for what we were looking for. What was the alternative? There was nowhere safe to go, living on borrowed time was taking it’s toll.

‘It’s about 3 in the morning, we’re no good to our family in this state. We need to find somewhere to crash and then we’ll all go look, alright?’ My brother held onto my hand, his eyes tired, ‘If they’re out there, we’re going to find them and I promise that’.

‘Thank you’ I whispered, pulling him towards me. The air around us was dark, the dim streetlights giving as a full view of infected who would definitely notice us if we weren’t careful. With a glance upwards, I noticed Percy was back in the car and looked to be fast asleep while Keith was heading back towards the passengers seat.

‘I saw a shop on the way up here, looked pretty safe. I can drive us there’ Keith called, half heartledly gesturing behind us. Lucas and I both nodded before collapsing into the car and I couldn’t help but selfishly wonder if this would ever end.

***

‘Good call’ Lucas slapped Keith on the back with a laugh, ‘Doors locked, windows locked and two floors. Luxury’. I laughed distractedly at Lucas’ words, feeling guilty as I did. My best friend was dead yet here I was, up and kicking. My family could be in immense danger or even.. no, if we’d gotten this far then so had they. Negative thinking would get us nowhere; my father would have taken charge, he’d let nothing happen to my Mum or brother. Despite this reassurance, I couldn’t help but lose my breath again at reality. So many people I would never see again, so many people who would never get to say goodbye. Skylar deserved a funeral, a send-off but her body.. oh Jesus, we shouldn’t have just left her there, we shouldn’t have. Infected had crowded the area just as we left and so there was no time to go back, to touch her one last time. It was the most awful thing in the world, but it was something awful I could deal with after I found my family. I could do nothing to help Skylar but maybe, just maybe I could still help my family. We'd become selfish with our lives, selfish with our ideas.

‘Hey’ I felt a small gust of air as Keith dropped down next to me in the heap of clothes I’d turned into a seat. A small discarded clothes shop would act as our shelter for the night, Percy was already asleep upstairs in the staff room and Lucas was getting changed into something new.

‘Hey’ I gave him a small smile which he returned without a word. We sat in silence for a while; so many unsaid words lingered in the air but I wasn’t quite sure what they were.

’I was thinking we could get some sleep and then head off back to the Church tomorrow, find anything that could tell us where they are’ Keith said.

‘You think they’re dead, don’t you?’ I realised my words were unfair the second they left my mouth but I couldn’t take them back and so I simply waited for Keith to answer, feeling uneasy about the conflicting expressions on his face.

‘I think they’re strong, strong people and if we’ve survived the way we have, why can’t they?’

‘That’s what I thought’ I smiled, wondering how his words had mimicked my thoughts exactly.

‘I’m sorry about earlier’ he sighed, turning his body to face me. His eyes were looking intensely into mine again as he bit his lip, looking guilty.

‘Sorry? Why?’

‘Telling you I was gonna leave and then all that with Lucas..’

‘Even at times like this, my brother is still my brother. He’s still protective and he’ll pick fights if he thinks something bad is gonna happen to me, don’t worry about it’.

‘I can’t help it’ he laughed quietly, ‘I’ve never worried so much about someone. I got in your car all those days ago but I never expected this, I never expected to worry so much about you’.

‘Aw’ I was laughing now, ‘I didn’t know you cared’.

‘Don’t be stupid’, he said, rolling his eyes, ‘Your brother is right, I do care too much and It scares the shit out of me’.

‘Why?’

‘I planned on going it alone, I thought it would be quicker, smarter. But every time I think about leaving it’s like this anchor, it won’t let me go and I don’t know why. At least I didn’t, until Lucas said what he said. It's all very inconvenient’.

Before I could question what Keith was telling me, I heard a voice only feet away from me which admittedly made me jump.

‘I’d better go sleep in the room with Percy if you guys are still awake. Someone needs to stay with him, just make sure you get to sleep soon you two, alright?’ Lucas said, stepping up in front of us.

‘We will’ we replied simultaneously.

‘Sorry about earlier, both of you. I was bang out of order, I g-‘

‘Stop’ Keith said, standing up so they were face to face, ‘You had every right, I’m sorry if you thought I was doing the wrong thing, you’re just looking after your sister’.

‘Thanks man’ Lucas let out a laugh and yanked Keith into a hug which almost knocked him off his feet.

‘Steady on’ Keith burst out laughing, returning the hug so they were both in a tight embrace. I couldn’t help but join in with their laughter and I even continued to laugh softly after Lucas walked upstairs and left me alone with Keith, my head on his shoulder as his arm slowly found it’s way round my shoulders.

‘I’m comfy’ I purred.

‘Yeah me too’ I could feel him smiling into the top of my head as he held me close to him. We stayed like that for a while and many times I pondered on the fact that I had never felt so at ease with someone I had known for such a short time, never had I sat so comfortably with anyone, male or female. Minute after minute passed, both of us wide awake and breathing slowly and each minute I felt stranger and stranger.

‘I’m glad we got a chance to do this’ Keith’s voice was quiet, even right next to my ear.

‘Do what?’ I asked, looking up to him, surprised that his face was much closer to mine than I thought it would be.

‘This.. sit back for a minute. We’ve spent so long running and hiding and running and screaming that there’s been no time for this. Is it weird I feel like I know you?’ he trailed off, sounding embarrassed.

‘No’ I replied honestly, ‘You’ve seen more of me than most people. It’s like one of those scientific things, people get to know eachother slowly until you’re forced into a situation and then zoom, everything speeds up’.

‘I didn’tknow you were that much of a nerd’.

‘Shut up!’ I laughed, elbowing him lightly in the stomach, ‘I didn’t know you were such a douchebag’.

‘I didn’t realise you were so insulting’.

I didn’t realise you were so defensive’.

‘Nerd’.

We carried on like that for a while, laughing quietly until the conversation turned serious again.

‘Hey Keith? You don’t think they’ll really.. bomb us, right?’

‘I don’t know, sunshine. Who knows how people are acting outside this country, who knows. All I know is that we’ll do everything we can to be out of here by tonight, I won’t let anything happen to you, nor will Lucas’.

‘I hope it’s that simple’.

‘Me too’.

‘Keith?’

‘Yes?’ He laughed as he looked at me.

‘Do you think Skylar was in a lot of pain when she died?’

‘I think’ he begun after a thought, ‘That she looked peaceful. As long as she enjoyed her life, as long as you two have all your memories, what does it matter? You were lucky to have eachother, that’s how you should think of her’.

‘Thanks’.

Harley?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Did you know that the average sized brick is 79cm squared?’

‘No, I didn’t' I snorted with laughter.

‘The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was 1.3 million pounds’.

‘Stop it’ I laughed, ‘freak’.

My heart almost missed a beat when I felt his lips brush against the top of my head lightly, whispering a goodnight to me.

I wasn’t ready to sleep though.

Honestly, I wasn’t 100% sure what I was doing as I turned my body till I was facing him, letting his emerald eyes clash with my deep blue ones. It was so intense; we stayed like this for I don’t even know how long, his eyes exploring mine, picking me apart piece by piece while I did the same to him. His shoulders were rising and falling softly, his hair tousled and falling ever so slightly into his eyes. I wanted to move it, I ached to but something stopped me.

‘Harley?’ I wasn’t sure what he was asking me, I don’t think even he was sure but it didn’t matter, not in those few seconds. My face was only inches from his and my chest constricted as I saw his gaze dark down to my lips which I bit through either fear or intensity. There was no time to think, only instinct kicked in as his warm lips were suddenly pressed against mine in the lightest kiss I’d ever felt, his hand trailing up my neck so slowly I thought I was imagining it. Thoughts cut out as my lips moved with his, my heart thumping at three times the speed. As my body pressed more closely up against his, I felt his own heart beating at almost froze at the realisation it was hammering even harder and faster than mine. Too soon, we broke apart and I found myself breathing heavily, looking back into those eyes which were sucking me in like black holes.

I didn’t know what to say and nor did he because we simply stayed the way we were, silent and breathing for a long time before I eventually moved so he was holding me again where I fell asleep and had the first good night’s sleep since this whole things started.

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