I slowly sat up what felt like the next morning. I took a deep breath and stretched my arms out. I rubbed my eyes as I just started to wake up. I slowly walked out of my room, to see my brother laying on the couch. "I want to go on that school trip," I muttered to myself as I made my way to the kitchen.
"Yeah, why haven't you been back to school yet? it's been so long and mom mentioned it long ago." Jisung yelled from behind.
I was confused. "Well, it's only been a few days. I still haven't thought about it." I reached up in the cabinet to get oats.
"What do you mean? it's been like two weeks." Jisung laughed. By what he said, I was confused. I laughed to myself. "You must be joking." I didn't believe him.
I suddenly got a text on my phone: "Hey, are you coming tomorrow? you haven't told me yet."
By Changbin's text, my head started to spin in confusion.
"Did I sleep for a whole week? what's going on?" I felt my heart beating. For some reason, time was going really fast and I was going in slow motion. I stood there, in a trance. "There's no way.." I muttered as I slowly started pouring my oats, but I just couldn't wrap my head around it.
"But, last night I was out with Hyunjin at the coffee shop.. and I-" I started to think rationally. "I went to sleep. He texted me last night, I went to sleep..and it's today." I picked up my phone and looked at the date. "Wait, what?" I saw that the date was six days different from when I checked yesterday.
"That's not right. I must be dreaming." I shook my head, and I started to blink really fast to see if the date on my phone would change, but it didn't.
"Why ...?" I shook my head, taking a deep breath. Hoping it was just a dream. "Maybe I was just dreaming yesterday?" As I said that Jisung started to mutter. "What are you saying to yourself over there?"
"No..uh, nothing." I took a deep breath. I then thought of Hyunjin from last night, picturing him in my head, a slight smile came onto my face. I made a small laugh at myself.
"Hey, I am waiting for breakfast," Jisung said in a low voice. I shook my head out of my smiling trance. "Why am I smiling over Hyunjin so suddenly..?" I carried the two bowls of fruit oats to the couch and handed one to Jisung, who was lifting himself up to lean up again the arm of the couch. "Thanks." He made a small smile.
"Are you sure it's okay for me to go back? I mean..you were pretty messed up." I looked down at my bowl as I slowly started to eat.
"Yeah, I mean, I am good now." He shrugged and moved his hair out of his face. By the look on his face, I knew he was still struggling but he has improved. He made a small smile at me. I didn't want to mention the whole time thing to him because I didn't want to worry him even more, Plus I am still confused myself.
My mind started to wonder: "I want to see Hyunjin, and the class again, so maybe.." The rest of the day came by so fast, I could barely even count time.
I sat at my desk in my room, it was getting dark outside.
"Tomorrow morning is the trip...already." I took a deep breath, then looked back at my notebook.
"Maybe if I start writing down the date every time I wake up, Things will go back." I wrote down in my journal. Then, I looked back up to see it was completely dark already.
"It seems like every time I think of his face, my time slows down and the world around me goes faster." I shook my head, trying to get Hyunjin out of my head. I stood up and started packing my bag for the morning.
Then, my phone started to ring. I picked it up from my desk and put it up to my ear. "Hello?"
I heard a quiet voice: "Hey, how are you feeling?" I noticed the voice came from Hyunjin.
My chest felt a quick skip. "I am doing well..why?" As I was talking I looked at the time.
"No reason. I just felt like I needed to ask you that..." I heard his voice go all nervous. "Will you be coming tomorrow?"
"Mhm," I said with a smile. "I am excited," I added.
"Okay." Hyunjin was silent, but I didn't know why.
"Uh.." I tried to break the awkward silence. "See you tomorrow then."
"Right.." He started chuckling nervously. I hung up the phone, then looked to see if I had any new messages. "That was weird..he had a weird tone in his voice..?" I thought, then shrugged it off. I folded my shirt, then put it in my bag.
The thoughts running around in my head about how tomorrow would play out. A small smile grew on my face as the excitement in my chest built up.
The next morning I headed out bright and early. As I wandered through the house, I didn't see my parents anywhere nearby. "Hopefully it's okay for me to go.."Â I thought to myself as I quietly walked out the door. I quickly made it to the school. As I walked up, I saw there was a minibus pulled up on the side of the road. I noticed Chan talking to another teacher, and some of my classmates waiting around on the sidewalk.
Felix and Minho were together, chatting. Gracie and the other girls were over talking to each other as well. I slowly made my way to them. As I walked up to the bus, Chan noticed me and his face lit up. "Annie!" He approached me. "It's been far too long." He made a nervous chuckle. "Right.." I felt a bit awkward since I haven't seen all of them in so long. I continued to look around, I was looking around for Hyunjin, but I didn't see him. "Why do I want him to be here so badly?" I looked up and I felt as if everyone was looking at me weirdly. I awkwardly hid my face from everyone and looked back at Chan. "I should be coming back regularly now." I made a small nod. "Great, great." Chan cheered as he gathered everyone together.
"Okay, now we are just waiting on Hyunjin, Changbin, and Rylee." He scratched his head and looked at the clipboard he was holding. "We must assign seats. Felix, Minho, and Changbin will be in the back."
Felix and Minho quickly hopped in the bus and made their way to the very back. It looked very cramped in there.
"Uh, Grace, Rylee, and Hailey." The girls hopped in. "Uh..I guess Annie, you'll be next to Hyunjin and Seungmin."
As he said the name a familiar face appeared in front of me. It was my deskmate from my other class. "Hello." He made a cheesy smile and a gentle wave at me. I greeted him with a smile. "I will be coming along today because my mom is going to be a chaperone so I am hoping on." Seungmin played with his sweater paws, with a cute smile. As I felt the cold breeze hit my face, I buried my hands in my coat pockets and tucked my fluffy snow hat on. I stood there, tapping my feet, waiting for Hyunjin to arrive. For some reason I only wanted to be around him, I wanted to see him, I wanted to be next to him, and I was getting anxious.
Chan looked at me as Seungmin got in the van. "You can get in too." Chan raised his eyebrow as he noticed I was waiting for something. "Oh, I am good. Just waiting." I looked out on the road to see if there were any cars pulling up, but there was nothing. I could feel my nose start to freeze.
"I know you're waiting for Hyunjin, but, he will be here, and the bus ain't going nowhere." Chan made a nervous laugh. I felt embarrassed, so I just scratched my head. "Sorry," I muttered. But, then I heard loud steps coming up behind me, I turned around to see Hyunjin, running down the sidewalk, with a bag. He ran up to us, out of breath. "Sorry, I am a bit late." He said in a soft voice. All I wanted to do was look up to him. I hid my face a bit while Chan was talking to him. I kept wanting to look up to him, I felt an odd feeling in my chest. At that moment, I felt my time slow down. My heart, go faster. It seemed like the time all around me had stopped. Hyunjin quickly looked down at me, with a slight glare. "Annie?" He snapped me out of my trance. I shook my head. He offered to go on the bus. "You should go first." I nodded and followed in behind him. The bus was so tight inside, and the seats were confined together. "That was so weird..." I thought as I climbed to my seat, which was next to Hyunjin. We both sat down and buckled up. We were really close to each other, our legs were basically touching. I stared down, with a nervous beat in my chest. For some reason, I was really nervous to be that close to him, even though Seungmin was right next to Hyunjin too.
"Okay, it'll take a few hours to get there, so prepare yourselves! we will be taking a few rests stops too." Chan said as he got in front of the bus.
"You will be driving?" Grace seemed shocked.
"Yeah, why?" Chan buckled his seat belt.
"I don't trust you with the wheel," Grace muttered.
"Ah, ah. I can see why but," Chan started to chuckle nervously.
"I have a question!" Minho yelled loudly in the back.
"Yeah?" Chan looked back.
"Will there be snacks? I am hungry." as Minho said that, everyone chuckled a bit. But, then I remembered I forgot to eat breakfast. I looked down and realized how hungry I was.
"I forgot to eat breakfast, so I am hungry," I muttered, so no one else could hear.
"Me too," Hyunjin replied, I looked over at him, and he had a gentle look on his face. I wasn't sure what he was thinking, but I wanted to find out. I kept quiet as Chan started the bus and the vehicle started going.
I started to get comfortable, I got out my phone and put an earbud in to play some music. I quickly glanced over at Hyunjin to see him on his phone as well, texting his mom. I quickly smiled without him noticing and looked back at my phone. It was quiet for a bit of time, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked back to see the boys in the backseat.
"Do you guys want to play a game together?" Felix offered the two of us a hand-held console.
"Sure!" I said while taking it from him. It was a fighting game. "We will be going up against each other." They handed Hyunjin one too. Hyunjin was a bit silent, but he looked like he knew what he was doing. "But, so do I.." I thought to myself. We chose our characters and started to play against each other. At first, I wasn't used to the controls but, then got used to it. We all went up against each other. Minho ended up losing first, then Felix soon after. Finally, it was just Hyunjin and I against each other. I felt the nervousness beat down on my chest. "I have to win and impress him."Â I had a weird thought. I started doing the moves and the special combos, but Hyunjin fought back. I noticed the stern look on his face. I felt the struggle build up inside me because he kept avoiding my attacks, and he was so good. It was starting to look dim for me. In the end, Hyunjin ended up winning.
"I felt my pride hurt there a little bit," I said as I handed the boys back their game. I shrugged, then looked back over at Hyunjin, who had a shy smile on his face. I could see he was proud of himself, and that made me giggle a little bit. I looked down, with a gentle flutter of my heart.
While some time had passed, I started to fall asleep. But, the car started to slow down, I looked up and noticed that we were pulling into a rest stop. "We are just going to use the restrooms, and then come right back, alright?" Chan looked back at us. We all made small nods and left the bus one by one. It felt good to stretch my legs and actually walk around. I stretched my arms and made a big yawn. Hyunjin came out right behind me. "I could go on a full run right now." I took a deep breath.
"Yeah, my legs are killing me.." Hyunjin muttered as he started to stretch his legs. Everyone started to walk down the path to the rest stop building. I quickly tried to catch up to them, with Hyunjin beside me. I stuck my hands in my pockets as I felt the cold breeze hit my nose. "Ahhh, it sure is cold though." I glanced up at him as we walked into the building together.
"Yeah." He shivered his skinny but long legs. We got into the main part of the building, there were shelves of snacks, guilds, maps, and drinks. Everyone stood in line for the bathroom. "I am a bit hungry, so I am going to look at the snacks." I let Hyunjin know as I ran deeper into the room. I looked around at the shelves and picked a candy bar and a coffee. As I was about to leave the aisle, I ran into Hyunjin. I quickly backed up. He was holding two packaged sandwiches. "You want some..?" Hyunjin looked shy, he had a nervous smile on his face. I made a small smile. "Sure." I made a nod. We went and bought things. I held onto the sandwiches so Hyunjin could use the restroom. It seemed like everyone else went back to the bus. I looked at my phone to see the time and it was almost lunch.
"Geez..so much time has passed already and I thought we had just left not even an hour ago.." I muttered to myself and looked up to see Hyunjin was standing right in front of me again. My eyes widened, "You scared me again." I made a nervous laugh. "Mhm." He took the sandwiches from me and we made our way outside. As we approached the bus we saw everyone sitting on the sidewalk, eating food and chatting with each other.
I quickly looked over at Hyunjin. "It seems like we decided to take a quick break. You wanna go sit over there?" I pointed over to a bench, which was placed right below a large tree. We both made our way and sat down. It was far away from all the others. I opened up the sandwich box. I felt happy, I couldn't help but smile. I took a glance at Hyunjin who was taking a small bite of his sandwich. "You're a bit quiet today..are you alright?" I said with my mouth full.
"Oh..yeah." Hyunjin snapped out of his trance, with a nervous smile. He moves his fingers through his hair. "Just a bit tired and thinking about what you said earlier.." He made a small cough as he was trying to swallow his food.
"What is it that I said..?" I slowly muttered as I started to think.. "Did I say something weird to him..?" I looked down.
"Your time is speeding up..?" Hyunjin had a stern look on his face.
"Oh..yeah that, isn't important. I am just imagining things." I laughed to myself. I knew I was just being caught up in my own thoughts that my timing was all messed up. I looked over at Hyunjin and it looked like he was deep in thought. He looked upset and confused. "Are you okay?" I tried to get him to look at me. His eyes focused on me, and he started chuckling nervously. "Sorry, Sorry. That was a bit odd." Hyunjin scratched his head. Something felt odd, but, I couldn't put my finger on it.
"Let's just enjoy today, okay?" I made a quick smile. Regardless, I had this feeling. I wanted to get closer to him. I wanted to talk to him more. I wanted to know what he was thinking. "I just don't know how to ask.."Â I thought as we heard yells from behind us. We looked past the tree and saw the others were calling for us. I quickly shoved the rest of the sandwich in my mouth and stood up, gathering the rest of my things. I quickly paced back to the van.
"You guys took long enough, we already wasted so much time," Chan complained as we all hopped in again. I buckled up and opened my coffee to take a large sip.
Changbin tapped me on the back of my shoulder. I looked back at him. "How are you feeling?" He whispered to me. "I am good." I made a small smile at him. Changbin still seemed worried about me. I felt more accepting of the situation, I didn't know why but all I could feel right now was my heart thumping, Hyunjin was clouding my thoughts even though I wanted to be more worried about Jisung. Jisung appeared in my mind. "I wonder how he is doing.." I muttered and noticed I said it out loud. As we got back on the road again, It started to get quiet. I looked over at Hyunjin, who was watching anime on his phone. I peeked over at him. "Can I watch too..?" I whispered, with an excited squeal in my voice. He made a smile and handed me one of his earbuds. "Sure." He made a small voice. I leaned my head closer to him, so we could watch it together. I was so close to him, I felt so different. I haven't been this willing for someone for a long time. When I was with him, it was like I wasn't thinking at all. Like all my stress was in the back of my mind.
We sat there for the rest of the trip. We both looked up and noticed we were about there. We rolled into the large amusement park parking lot. "I swear the parking lot is bigger than the actual park." Minho laughed from behind. "For real." Changbin laughed back. I held tightly onto my snow cap. We finally found a parking space and all got out one by one. Chan led us through what seemed like a mile-long parking lot by foot, to the main entrance. We got our tickets and our bags and headed in.
There were so many people, they were always passing back and forth from us. We all stood there, wondering where to go first.
"Okay, so we all have to stay together. But we have the whole day, so let's enjoy it. We will go to the hotel tonight." Chan made sure we all heard him. For, the park was filled with so many talks, screams, and laughs. I looked over at Hyunjin, who was playing with his feet. He stuffed his hands in his coat. "It's cooollld." I whined as I stuck my face in my coat. He looked up at me, smiled then pat my head. He ruffled with my snow hat, messing up my hair in my eyes. I shook my head. "What was that for?" When I asked that, he was looking down with a shy smile on his face. Then I looked ahead and noticed the others started walking. "Let's go." I got Hyunjin's attention and we both ran to keep up with them. We walked down the long pathways. I looked up and saw a large Ferris wheel. It looked like it was forever going up. "Woah.." Is all I could say. We took a long walk throughout the park deciding where we would go first.
There were so many rides, coasters, stands, and shops. It was hard to believe this place was so large. I took a deep breath.
"Let's go on that one!" Minho yelled and pointed to one of the largest coasters.
"Yeah." Felix started to laugh nervously. "I am up for that."
"Who else will be going on? Because I'm not." Chan laughed and looked around at all of us.
Hyunjin slowly raised his hand, I was surprised. I felt my heart beating by the excited look he had on his face. I was a bit hesitant but I raised my hand quickly. "I-I'll go too." I let out awkwardly, I felt my hand start to shake. Us four got in line, which was long. "What am I doing..? I never go on roller coasters??!" I repeated to myself in my head. I looked down at my hands, which were shaking a bit. Then, I watched as the roller coaster looped around and I heard people screaming on it. It gave me a deep feeling in my chest. I felt so nervous, I felt kind of scared. I grabbed onto my chest and released a big sigh.
"It isn't that bad." Minho teased from in front of us. Hyunjin stood behind me. We moved up the line a little bit. "Sorry. I just, don't really go on roller coasters." I laughed nervously. "Then Why are you going on it?" Felix made a chuckle and we moved up again. I quickly put my head back down. I felt a light pressure tap my head. I quickly looked up to see Hyunjin, with a light smile, patting my head. "Don't worry, it's not too bad and it's over quickly." I could tell that Hyunjin was comforting me. I felt a bit at ease, but I couldn't help but feel nervous. We finally made it into the ride. We got into the seats, Hyunjin was right beside me. But, our legs were hanging off the ride. My legs started to shake. Then, I felt a feeling of regret. I got locked in. I wanted to back out. The ride hasn't even started yet, and I already felt sick. I closed my eyes tightly and started to mutter. "I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this." In a small voice. Hyunjin looked over at me with a soft smile.
"Hey Hey, We got this. No backsies now." He made a quick laugh. We heard a bell ring and felt a jerk. The cart started moving out of the station, and through the rails. It started slow, and Hyunjin's words stuck to me. We started to go up slowly, and I looked over to see us getting higher, and higher. "No backsies, no backsies." I repeated to myself, regretting what I have done.I looked over at Hyunjin, who was gripping onto the handles. Then it came, the drop. I felt my heart sink as we dove down so fast. "NO BACKSIES!!!" I yelled as loud as I could but I could barely hear myself because the wind in my face was so loud. The jerking around the side to side of the coaster started to make my back hurt. It was so quick we made it back to the beginning. I felt a feeling of relief that it was over, and was ready to get off. But then, I started to go around again. "I thought this was over!" I almost cried over to Hyunjin, who was just laughing loudly. I looked over at him. I never saw his smile that wide before. "ahhhh." I heard the pitch in his voice. His smile was bright, his laugh, louder, but more softening to my heart than I have ever felt. He let out his true self, without holding back. I felt my heart racing. Even though we were going up, I couldn't focus on the ride. Because all I could look at was the gleaming smile on Hyunjin's face.
Felix the entire ride: