Chapter 353: Chapter 353: Episode 100: At The End Of The 1,000-Year-Long Voyage (7)

“What if she is.”

“Is she here? It is extremely chaotic outside. I am here to help her in a situation like this. I will most certainly be of help.”

“What if she’s not here.”

“T, then please let me live… I’ll go back… I cannot die yet. The girl is so spoiled and we have been l, living a hard life.”

Every little help mattered in the current situation. He pondered for a bit, before asking a question.

“Where have you been, and why did you crawl out only just now.”

“Sorry?”

“Why did you discard the girl in the dumping ground and come this late saying you’ll protect her.”

“D, did I not tell you? The situation outside is chaotic! It is in dangerous situations like this, that I must guide the girl into walking down the correct path.”

This was a reply that seemed like what [Self-adulation] would say.

“I see.”

“Y, yes…”

Seeing that Yu Jitae was a little softened, the guy heaved out a sigh. Yu Jitae pulled the knife away from its nose a bit.

“Huu. Thank you. In any case, I hoped this world would never get as chaotic as this but, it’s all my fault for having lacking skills.”

“Is that so?”

“Of course. Life is already very cruel, but isn’t that something that applies to all of us? I should guide her down the correct path although late.”

“I see.”

The mirror image blinked its eyes while staring at Yu Jitae. It appeared to be finding it slightly strange.

“Uhh…”

The guy twisted its body left and right before asking a question.

“Umm… can you please move aside now?”

“Of course not.”

“W, why?”

“Isn’t it strange?”

“What is?”

“I thought about it, but I’ve never seen this immature black dragon ever finding herself precious.”

“Well, that’s because I’ve always been under someone’s surveillance… You know? The observer on the highest mountain.”

It appeared to be talking about [Rationality].

Right. Rationality could block Self-adulation from expressing itself but that wasn’t the end of Yu Jitae’s doubt. He had in fact felt certain already from its response.

The guy continued considering Myu pitiful and even ignorant.

That wasn’t what the true [Self-adulation] would do.

“Now this is a first.”

“Sorry? Ah, ahhkk…! Uhpp!”

Blocking the guy’s mouth, Yu Jitae tightly grabbed on its two cheeks and started ripping its face out. The skin of the amicable face started to get ripped out.

It was as he had expected.

Behind the ripped face was an expression crumpled with fury.

A disposition that usually stays below the calm surface of the water, that distressfully approaches during the hard times to gnaw at one’s own personality.

A power that pretends to hold an objective perspective, making one falsely believe that it will lead the personality to a better direction. Depending on the people, it even had the power to sneakily kill a personality.

The distorted expression apathetically murmured.

“Got, found out huh.”

Despite being deeply flushed from suffocation, the guy nonetheless blabbered.

“What, will you do… after taking her…

“I’ve been, watching her for a long time… That bitch, is garbage…

“C, completely, worthless… a trash… that got discarded by the race…”

Self-hatred began pouring out words of hatred. It would have run up to kill Myu if he had been deceived by it.

There was no need to bother asking questions. It wouldn’t know the answer to any of his questions anyway.

Yu Jitae crushed its neck.

.

.

.

His sigh spread as a white mist.

Yu Jitae checked the remaining time.

Myu wasn’t in a very good state, evident from how the time it took for it to wake up after falling asleep was getting increasingly longer. Its ability to exercise was also in a gradual descent – unable to withstand the fatigue, the movements were turning more and more rigid.

It meant Myu’s personality was slowly dying.

‘Dying buried in the past memories.’

Perhaps that was how the current concept could be understood as.

He thought of something after meeting [Self-hatred].

There were some people in the world that lived their remaining life as if it was but an extension – their heart may still be pumping and they could be breathing, but living only because they did not, or could not give up on life.

In a world like this, there were quite a lot of such people.

Those memories would go deeper and deeper the more they tried. Like a bottomless pit, it would pull the existence to the endless depths. It would then whisper into their ears, ‘This is what you are.’

He didn’t know what it was that had happened to Myu. Because of the ‘Black Wall’ blocking the path, no-one would ever get to know it, and that was in turn slowly killing Myu.

Once again, Myu woke up but this time, it was practically frozen and could not even get up from the ground. It was unknown when it would wake up again after falling asleep this time.

“Haa, haa…”

A rugged breath could be heard from the side.

If left outside, it could have died anytime because he was muddying the currents of the conceptual world. He was the one that had brought it here to keep it alive, so he could not afford to let it die from the cold.

“Haa, haa…”

A personality’s death was no different from Myu’s death. She would become like a stringless puppet.

That might thwart his plans.

“Haa, haa…”

Thus, he thought to himself.

There was an existence next to him, shivering from the cold, slowly heading towards death. What am I supposed to do in a situation like this?

Suddenly, he opened his mouth.

“Hey.”

The reason behind his opened mouth, was because he had spoken to someone in the past when something similar had been happening.

“…What?”

The reason he hesitated after hearing the response, was because he had similarly hesitated in the past. Both now and then, a conversation beyond the purpose of conveying information was very difficult for him.

But at least it was something he had done before.

“Have you thought of what to do,”

He asked a question about a topic that he wasn’t particularly interested in.

“When you go out on your vacation?”

Myu, who was curling up like a prawn, looked up at his face.

“…Don’t know. …Not yet.”

“You wanted to experience the world, didn’t you.”

“…I did.”

Myu breathed out a white mist. The breath here was a lot longer than in real life, and it slowly permeated across like a cloud.

“What will you do this time.”

“…No idea.”

“How about you take a rest at a warm place.”

“Not, bad.”

“It would be great if you were as docile as this.”

“…So, so.”

The lips and the tongue were shivering to an uncontrollable extent. Alongside the sound of chattering teeth, Myu let out its voice.

“Sorry…”

He furrowed his brows.

“Just act like you’ve always been doing. Stop doing something unnatural.”

“…What.”

“Why are you being this docile, is what I’m asking. Just get upset, get mad and throw every gift you get like you always do.”

“But you, don’t like that.”

“But it will help you recover your energy at least.”

“…”

Myu shook its head.

The sweat that had been raining down its face was frozen from the coldness. The girl did not even have the power to move the stiff hair away from the face.

The icy pale lips were cracked like a barren wasteland and so was the skin. Frozen tears were sparkling beneath the eyelids with a truly forlorn glitter.

Their conversation was about to end with every exchange so he contemplated. A topic that Myu was interested in might be able to actively light a fire inside.

However, Myu was way too powerless for that to be the case.

…Right. Looking back, that was very strange.

Myu was way too powerless.

He knew it was because the entire village of concept had pushed the personality to powerlessness but this was over the top. It even made him wonder how an individual’s personality could be this lethargic.

Self-hatred said that it was like that for a very long time.

He went through his memories. As a proof, whenever Yu Jitae said, ‘You can do it,’ to Myu’s personality, it would always reply by saying the likes of, ‘Me?’ or ‘Really?’ The personality seemed to be finding it strange how it could actively do something.

Yu Jitea pondered on.

1. Most of the cold memories were the ones related to her wandering life.

2. Myu appeared to have continued wandering ever since she was born. In other words, she almost never settled down in one place.

3. Thus, she was curious about the new world and always asked him to experience new things outside.

“Did something happen to you?” he asked.

“…Like?”

“When you were young.”

“…How would I remember that?”

Well, that was true. Proof was the black wall behind them blocking their path.

“I, I, was floating adrift in the dimensions, ever since, I came to myself.”

“What happened after that?”

“I was always adrift… For a very, long time. Sometimes, I landed in several areas, and spent time, …but that was it.”

“Did you not settle in any of them?”

“I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed to settle.”

“By who.”

“…My instincts.”

Their conversation was cut off once again, as he was lost as to what to say.

But during their short conversation, the rate of the white mists had decreased and the trembling body was in a slightly better state than before. A conversation indeed had the ability to boost mental power.

What was he supposed to talk about this time with this unpleasant black dragon?

He didn’t feel like throwing a lame joke, nor did he think those would work.

It was when he was deep in contemplation.

“…There is, something I am, curious about.”

Myu turned from its prawn-like posture towards Yu Jitae.

“Ask anything you want.”

“You always, seem to have a goal.”

Keeping his mouth closed, he gave a nod. Whatever the topic, he wanted to have Myu keep speaking.

“Whatever it was that you did, there was always a goal. Is that, correct?”

“What made you think that.”

“Who knows… but that was the feeling I got. Keeping me alive, isolating me, in the basement, abusing and, giving me a vacation…”

It collected its breath and continued.

“In every action and conduct, related to me, you always seemed to be, looking for something specific…”

Moving the frozen mouth, Myu diligently continued speaking as he once again gave a nod.

“Doesn’t everyone do that though.”

“Even though I have been roaming all my life, I have seen my share of humans. There was not a single human like you among them.”

“Is that so.”

“And looking back…”

Myu used the shivering hand to sweep the hair.

“I thought you were only, doing that to me, but that was actually not the case…”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m talking, about what happened at Paris.”

“Go on.”

“It was the same, even when you were dealing with the green-haired girl. Although you appeared kind, it was businesslike, and although you appeared comfortable, you were always systematic.”

“…”

“It was truly a bizarre relationship… So even though I was outside to observe human relationships, it was the two of you, that I was observing the most.”

“…”

“What I felt here and there, was that you were putting in a tremendous amount of attention… to that impudent girl.”

“Was I.”

Myu’s hazy gaze regained its focus. The eyes had Yu Jitae’s face as the only target.

“…That kid wouldn’t know. If she was always under that much attention, she would probably find it normal… because baby dragons, are quick at adapting to situations. But I am different. I ended up seeing it.”

“What did you see.”

“You lending a close ear on every one of her breaths and each noise of her heart.”

“…”

He shut his mouth. Myu wasn’t wrong.

“At the start, I thought it was because of me. Because I might have affected something. You know, that girl appeared to be treasuring you quite a lot so perhaps it was out of concern that she might be jealous?”n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“…”

“…But, that was wrong. It was the same even when it was only the two of you. This is something I can tell from being a mutant, but you were listening to that impudent green-head’s heartbeat, and observing her breath… like a habit… meaning you’ve always been doing that.”

In fact, it wasn’t only Bom. Whenever they were together, Yu Jitae would observe the gazes of the children, and lend an ear to the breaths and the heartbeats.

This eccentrically sensitive behaviour had already become a habit.

“…You guys seemed to have been together for a very long time. And yet even so, to the point of questioning the possibility of keeping such a close look on her, you were pouring attention at the green dragon to a burdensome degree… Is that correct?”

He usually would have told a lie by saying, ‘No,’ but lies were currently out of his control. Besides, the dragon in front of him was not his baby dragon so he deemed it okay to say the truth.

“Yes.”

“Right?”

“Why do you look so surprised by it. It’s nothing that great.”

“…Of course it’s surprising. Of course it is.”

With a little more energy, Myu continued.

“…It’s the same even in this place. …Your ability is not much different from my own. Even though you probably have something, I am correct.”

He remained silent.

As Myu had said, Yu Jitae’s current body was not too different from the countless mirror images of this place, because that way, he would avoid the suspicion of the [Will of the Ancient One].

“But, until just then, I had, no idea…”

Yu Jitae gave another nod but not for the sole purpose of inciting more words.

Myu asked with a doubtful voice.

“…I am very curious. Do you, not feel tired?”

“What is there to get tired about.”

“Moving in this world eats at the mind quite a lot. Running with me in your arms, fighting… and withstanding the cold to stay conscious should all gnaw at your mind… Even though you are a superhuman, is that possible for a ‘human’?”

“Why would it be impossible.”

“Seriously, what a dreadful, human…”

He observed Myu’s breath. It was slightly more stable than before, which was a considerable progress compared to how it had been lying down for several hours.

That was when he suddenly felt strange.

Was it because Myu was slowly regaining its breath? Or perhaps because it was after confronting [Self-hatred].

Or perhaps it was because the end of the long voyage was finally within sight. The daily emotions that he had retrieved in the 7th iteration made him open his mouth on a whim.

“A few days ago, I tried calculating it. Although the number might not be precise, I think it took around a thousand years.”

“Doing what?”

He himself knew how his following words would be unnecessary, meaning every conversation hereon was all nothing but his whim.

“I’ve been expecting a time like this to come eventually. But I wasn’t expecting it to be at a foreign place like this, with someone like you next to me.”

Even though it was half a joke, Myu slowly widened its eyes while listening to his words.

“That, seems to be about the ‘dream’ that you’ve told me about before…”

“You remember?”

“I do not forget anything. You said it on the way. That dream of yours that is beyond this wall.”

Myu said while tapping the wall with the back of its head.

“…You mean the dream you have had for a thousand years is in front of this place?”

“Yes. It has been a very long time.”

“That is crazy. Seriously…”

“Why. Is there anything wrong?” Yu Jitae asked.

“…”

“Or is there anything strange about my words? I want you to understand. I’ve never said this to anyone before.”

Sitting on the spot, Myu shook its head and asked with a wider pair of eyes.

“Would you mind telling me the story about your ‘dream’?”