Volume 3, ArmelinaâsâMatching SNS Lobby
The Detached Magic Palace of Roppongi, Tokyo, was a white building in a green paradise carved out of the city centerâs best district. It was made so the resident, servants, and guests would each walk down their oddly separate hallways without ever crossing paths. That complex structure may have been similar to a TV station.
And one of the Detached Magic Palaceâs living spaces for servants was a bath.
The 3 maids â sized large, medium, and small â were soothing the dayâs exhaustion there.
âNow, a surprise visit from your master!â
âGyaaahh!? M-m-milady!?â
When a girl with long black twintails suddenly showed up and jumped into the large bath, the shortest maid, Haruka, screamed.
âNooo, now I have to take care of your hair again, milady. Umm, moisture cream, extra virgin olive oil, and camellia extract...â
âOh? Sounds like her hair is going to be delicious.â
âIt sounds more like youâre repairing a cathedral fresco!!â
The girl whose long hair spread out on the bathwaterâs surface did not seem to mind.
The normal height and sporty second sister, Misoka, looked exasperated as she rested her head on the tub with her semi-long hair tied back with a hair tie.
âSo the ladyâs back to her bad habits, is she? But isnât this a little soon? Itâs normally only once a month that sheâs so starved for attention she acts like sheâll die without it.â
âGiven her background, I do not mind letting her indulge in this. But, miss, Iâve been meaning to tell you that you need to wash your body before getting in the bath. This is poor manners.â
The largest (breast-wise) maid who kept her tutor glasses on even in the bath, Iroka, gently scolded the girl, but it would not have much effect. While Iroka had her long hair carefully wrapped in a towel, their master was a troublesome girl who would relieve her stress by jumping into the gazebo jacuzzi without even removing her red dress.
As she floated face up in the bathwater like usual and Haruka quickly placed a towel over the important bits, the twintail girl used some kind of device.
âBff!? Your smartphone!? Please donât bring a camera-equipped communication device into a bath full of soft maiden skin!!â
âIâm talking with Armelina, so itâs fine. Sheâs apparently a strict civil servant who was too much of a stickler for the rules to stay at Sakuradamon.â
She was not entirely focused on this conversation because she was also facing a problem on the screen.
The career woman on the screen had this to say:
âAnyway, Iâve started using that Nanskagram thing. I heard raising your online status can make it easier to put together a Party for exploring the Labyrinth.â
âI see, I see. Well, you donât want to sit around in an inn town tavern all the time. We can only stay in Groundâs Nir for a few days at a time, so I understand wanting to get as much done in this world as you can so you can focus on the Labyrinth once youâre there.â
Peopleâs appearances and occupations were entirely different between the real world and Groundâs Nir, but that did not mean relationships had to restart from zero.
If you got along with some people at your school or workplace, you could Sign In together. And on the internet, you could act differently than in real life to gather people. You could also build a connection by exchanging contact information after meeting in Groundâs Nir. Both lies and the truth could be used freely. An unpopular student at a prep school could act like a heroic character online and become a leader who ended up visiting the Labyrinth with an idol or a foreign princess who had changed their appearance to preserve their anonymity.
Whether in reality or online, those connections were vital.
...Of course, those also led to the creation of troublesome Guilds like the military Elkiad or the extremist Religious Society, so it was not always a good thing.
âNow, Iâd like some advice about that. Youâre the human bagworm who uses the internet to put together a Party without taking a step out of your home, so Iâd like to call you master. You understand, donât you?â
âWhat!? Whoâre you calling a human bagworm!?â
The career woman on the screen ignored the caged bird who lived off of taxes and got to the point.
âNo matter what I do, I canât get more than 3 âsuresâ. Can you tell me what Iâm doing wrong? Iâm about to die of loneliness.â
âLetâs see. Whereâs your page?â
âHere!! So itâs not just the rest of the world!? Not even my friends are checking it!?â
The twintail girl left the white building and entered a night so tranquil it was hard to believe this was in the city center.
The Detached Magic Palaceâs grounds were a kilometer-wide circle. If you thought of pi as about 3 (ha ha), then the circumference was approximately 3 kilometers. A lap would make for a decent jog.
...She had been nearly helpless during the recent Demon Tselika incident. She did not feel like she had fully protected Boo Booâs heart, so she was in the process of remaking her body as a form of penance.
As the girl ran alongside the tall wall âagainâ, she sent an annoyed voice into her smartphone.
â...Um, Armelina.â
âYeah, what did you think? I tried to include as many of the things I like as I could. I didnât hold anything back! And I put up more than 200 photos pretty quickly. I worked hard! So how in the world do I have less than 3 âsuresâ when the internet is connected to the entire human race!?â
âMind explaining why every last one of those photos has your face blotted out!?â
âEh? With my job, I canât exactly reveal my face, now can I?â
âAnd look at this profile. Name: Unknown. Sex: Unknown. Age: Unknown. Academic History: Unknown. Occupation: Unknown. Favorite Food: No-Bake Cheesecake. ...What is with all these redactions!? Am I reading a classified document I shouldnât be touching!?â
âI canât help it. I work for a private detective agency that gathered retired police officers and JSDF officers to handle the special investigations the police canât touch! A-and it wasnât all redacted! I made sure to mention the no-bake cheesecake!â
âAnd what are we supposed to make of this photo of the mysterious sweet tooth rejoicing as she fires a Gatling gun in an underground shooting range?ân/o/vel/b//in dot c//om
âOh, now that was fun! Thanks to my JSDF connections, I was invited below Fuji! I bet Iâm 1 of only like 3 Japanese people who have held that in their hands as it rotated 12 thousand times a minute. When I told the Yokosuka marines about it at the bar, you shouldâve seen how wide their eyes got.â
âIâm saying no one can understand what it means if you donât explain the story behind it! Just from your page, you look like a dangerous person of unknown identity having fun firing heavy weaponry in a secret base built below your home!â
âEhh?â
The career womanâs voice was entirely void of tension.
The twintail girl sighed in the cutting-edge âsportswearâ that Iroka had recommended to her (while unable to stop grinning).
âArmelina, weâre not uploading meme videos to a video sharing site, so you donât need anything fancy.â
âBut then how am I supposed to gather attention? Iâm sick of these days where my number of âsuresâ would round down to 0. Itâs just depressing seeing people upload a commentless photo of a dandelion and then get around 100 âsuresâ.â
âDonât cry, police woman. Just be yourself. Then youâre sure to get plenty of Party members on Nanskagram. Here, Iâll upload a photo of me to show you. There are plenty of ways to make friends while hiding your identity.â
âWha-!?â
In a far distance place, a chair clattered against the floor. A career woman in glasses and a tight skirt suit was looking down at her smartphone.
(Wh-what the hell is this!? Is she that clueless? Did she start wearing that because someone told her it was cutting-edge sportswear? Sheâs no emperor, so is this the Princessâs New Clothes!?)
This is what she found on her friendâs page:
(Photo)
A sweaty girl with black twintails stands on a jogging course at night. She is breathing heavily, her cheeks are red, she is wearing a PE uniform with red bloomers, her hand covers her eyes, and she has a thin smile on her lips.
(Comment)
âCould anyone accompany me to the Labyrinth for a bit? Looking for friendsââ
Five minutes after uploading, it had more than 600 thousand âsuresâ. The comments included some that were clearly not in Japanese, so this was a worldwide celebration.
The career womanâs efforts and her 200+ mountain of photos had been easily surpassed and blown away in only 5 minutes. Her dead eyes read through comments like âSheâs got some pretty nice titsâ, âIf youâre going to upload photos like youâre a model, you need to be at least this goodâ, or âWhether professional or amateur, anything below this would be worthlessâ. Her hands naturally rubbed lightly at her chest instead of the smartphone.
Flaaaaat.
â...â
On that day, a career woman with a lopsided frown drank tequila (which she normally avoided) until the first train of the day left, greatly worrying the elderly bartender.
âI thought you said we werenât supposed to upload meme images, you moron!!â
âMaâam, I think youâve had enough.â
âShuddup! Iâm not reahy for cold waher yed. Bring out alllll the tehila you got! Iâm nod leavinâ till Iâve had 600 thouhand boddles!â