(Unedited)
Farrah kept quiet most of the time as she watched Richard chat with Mark and Will, taking their advice into consideration as well as hearing out what both George and Rachel had to say. Even though he gave her space to voice her thoughts, he did not even for one second meet her gaze.
By the time they finished going through the raw edits and the discussion that followed, Farrah was close to tears. She knew if anyone uttered so much as one kind word to her, she knew she would breakdown in sobbing. She had been looking at the floor, and then felt eyes on her. Looking up she saw everyone in the room had their gaze trained on her.
"Farrah, you feeling alright?" George asked, looking worried. Voicing the thoughts of everyone in the room
"Yeah...No, I'm not alright," she admitted honestly. "I'm...uh...tired."
"Look, you will be shooting the next part of the interview in a couple of days and you need to be in top form. Go home and rest, and we'll discuss the rest tomorrow," George said shooting a look towards Rachel, who nodded in agreement.
Clearing, her throat she nodded collecting her things avoiding looking at Richard. She exited the editing booth and took deep breaths as she walked towards her desk to pick up her bag and coat. Shooting small smiles at some of her colleagues she quickly packed up and left without saying much. Her phone was buzzing but she decided to ignore it as she stepped out of the lift and headed towards the restrooms in the lobby.
She looked at her reflection and swallowed thickly. Ripping a piece of tissue from the dispenser, she gently dabbed under her eyes and her nose. Squaring her shoulders, she took a deep breath; steeling herself against the hordes of people she would be bumping into on the tube ride home.
As she walked out the building, Richard's black Range Rover was already waiting in front. She tried to detour from walking pass it but heard Ben calling after her. He was insisting that she get into the car and wait for Richard and as she kept refusing.
Her will faltered when he said, "Come on Farrah, please. Charlie will kill me if she knew that we were here and didn't drop you home; especially when you're not feeling well." And she caved. She knew how formidable Charlie could be, and the last thing she wanted was them to have argument over her.
But it bothered her though, that for all of Ben's pleading and insisting, he did not even once mention Richard's name. Not even once. As she sat in the car, the thought gripped her; Did her even want her there?
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't see Richard stalking towards the car in long purposeful strides. She jumped when the car door opened and he sat down in the backseat with her. Ben closed the door and rounded the car to sit in the drivers seat and started driving. There was utter silence in the car other than the radio in the background as both Richard and Farrah they looked out the windows, lost in their own thoughts.
With a jolt she realized that they were already at her flat. She said a quiet thank you and rushed out of the car, without even waiting for Ben to get the door for her. Richard just quietly watched as Farrah with hurried steps walk into her flat.
"What did you do?" came Ben's voice tight with anger.
"Nothing," Richard answered emotionlessly.
"Then why has Farrah been on the verge of tears all afternoon?" Ben shot back.
"How would I know?" Richard answered flatly.
"Richard, what happened?" Ben said again in a calmer tone, taking a deep breath. He twisted around in the drivers seat to face Richard. He watched as Richard kept his eyes on the door that Farrah has walked through as he worked his jaw.
"There was another man in the editing booth with her, earlier. When I arrived," he said flatly.
"So? That could have been a colleague," Ben said frowning.
"No, he wasn't. He had the visitor tag on," Richard explained flatly.
"Still, it's not reason enough for you to ignore her," Ben said exasperated.
"He was flirting with her. He got her that tea that she loves. Someone else, some other man...brought her tea," Richard said looking at Ben who looked confused.
"You don't get it do you?" Richard asked and Ben nodded his confusion. "It was another man who brought her tea, something that I thought only I did for her. And he was flirting with her. Unabashedly, he flirted with her. In her place of work. And the kicker is that he is Pakistani too, I think." He continue after a breath, "I am losing her."
"What are you even talking about, Richard?" Ben said, although he felt like screaming at him. "You are being a really daft arsehole right now." Richard looked at Ben with a raised eyebrow.
"I still pay your salary you know," he said sardonically.
"The palace pays my salary not you," Ben replied instantly. "Do you love her?" Ben questioned harshly.
"What has that got to do with this?" Richard asked exhaling deeply.
"You don't treat someone you love like this Richard. You are blowing hot and cold, and it's not fair," Ben stated.
"I told her I love her. I asked her to marry me. That's not blowing hot or cold. She rejected me, Ben. She said no," Richard said tiredly.
"And after she said no, what did you do? Did you talk to her? Did you tell her that you still want to be with her? Did you tell her that you are in love with her, still? Did you even give her a chance to explain, to tell you whatever it is on her mind?" Ben raged in the car.
"No," said Richard, squeezing his eyes shut. "I need to end your contract," he said as she opened the car door and walked into the building.
Before he knew it he was already standing in front of her door and knocking on it with loud raps. Hearing the clicks and slides of the locks, he lowered his hands and waited for the door to open. As soon as the door opened, she tried to slam it shut. Richard quickly grabbed the door before it closed; and in the process his hand was wedged in the door frame. He sucked in a breath at the pain that shoot up his palm.
Farrah shrieked and quickly opened the door. Tugging on his hand, she pulled him in as she pressed points in his palms asking him if it hurt. All he could do was look at her and shake his head. It wasn't his palm that was hurting in that moment it was his heart.
Her mascara and eyeliner looked smudged and her lipstick was removed. She was sniffling, and her voice sounded thick with tears. She had been crying.
"Just wait here, I'll bring some ice," she said as she rushed off to the kitchen.
He slowly took off his shoes and arranged it on the shoe rack. He walked towards the kitchen and saw her at the sink. She was putting ice in to a tea towel for him. He walked up to her and rested his forehead on her shoulder as he inhaled her scent.
He felt the pause in her movements. "I'm sorry," he whispered hotly against her shoulder. Slowly he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry," he whispered again as he pulled her closer. He could feel her body shuddering in his arms. Like she was holding all her emotions in, but they were bursting at the seams.
"Stop it," she said her eyes shut tightly. "You're going to make me cry."
"I'm sorry. I made you cry," he whispered into her neck.
"Stop it, please," she pleaded tears brimming in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I was terrified. More than that, I was jealous," He whispered into her ears. "I'm scared, and I'm so sorry for that," he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the tears in his eyes.
A sob escaped her mouth and the dam broke. She finally allowed all the pent-up emotions to run through her, and she allowed Richard to hold her as she sobbed. He picked her up gently and set her down on his lap on the sofa in the living room. She buried her face in her hands and cried as he pressed her to his chest. Wiping his own tears, he rubbed his palms in soothing circles on her back.
It had only been minutes, but it had felt like hours of her sobbing into her chest until she finally quietened down. He could feel her trying to shift off his lap, but he tightened his grip; "Stay," he whispered into her hair. And after a few heart stopping moments, he felt her nod and relax against him.
"I need to go clean up," he heard her murmur. "I'm a mess."
"Stay," he insisted. "You're perfect," he whispered.
"You're going to make me cry again," she whispered thickly.
"I'm a mess, Farrah. I am truly a bloody mess. But I am so in love with you. I've never felt like this before, and I don't think I'll have the capacity to feel this for anyone else," he said as he stroked Farrah's hair lovingly. Swallowing he continued, "I was, and I still am jealous. It felt like you had replaced me with someone else in a split second. And before you tell me how crazy that sounds, I know it is. Crazy. I am jealous and insecure, and I have panic and anxiety issues. I am a bloody mess. A mess that is so in love with you"
"These reasons alone should be enough for me to leave you be, but I can't. I know I'm not right for you, good for you even. I know it the thought of us is difficult to accept, but the thought of there not being an 'us' eats at me inside. Whatever I need to do, whatever you need me to do â for us, I will do it. You just have to say the word," Richard said softly.
Farrah looked at Richard in wonder and incredulity. She wanted to ask why. Why me? But she knew that there will never really be a straight answer to that. There will always be a different reason every day. When you love someone, you love all of them; you embrace the good, the bad and ugly, without judgements.
"Don't. Don't say anything now," Richard said as he saw Farrah part her lips to say something. "Just, let me hold you. Give me this moment so that I can remember how you fit into my arms so perfectly. I'm not asking for more, Farrah. Just don't move, let me have this right now." He stroked her cheek with an almost reverent touch. Farrah sat silently, as she watched his Adam's apple bob in his throat.
He slid his hand up the back of her head and pulled her close, their foreheads touching. Both had their eyes closed, breathing deeply.
"It's in every look that you look my way, in every touch that brushes my skin, in every small liberty that you allow me, in every tear that you cried today," he whispered as if almost to himself.
"I know you love me, Farrah," he whispered, and her eyes flew open and met his startling blue eyes. As she looked at him, all intent of denying it left her.
***
Things are kinda heating up. Muahaha.
Well, still in the 'halal' zone that's for sure.
Anyways, this is a pretty long chapter. And I am dying to hear your thoughts. So please don't be shy to leave comments.
What you liked, what you disliked - i want to hear them all.
Remember to show me the love, lovelies. Share, vote and comment.
And I hope to be back with another chapter update soon!
xx