"Miss, we're here."
Farrah jolted up, when the Uber driver's voice cut through the fog that surrounded her mind. She swallowed thickly and mumbled a quickly apology. Quickly sorting out her payment, she hopped out of the car and waited as the driver helped her with the bags. A thank you later, she made her way up to her flat.
All she wanted to do now was to strip off his shirt. Every brush of the fabric against her skin left her uneasy. It was a reminder of what had happened. She felt this need to scratch the itch that the brushing of the fabric against her skin caused. Is this how a broken heart feels?, she mused. She wasn't sure if what she felt was heartbreak, all she felt was her skin crawling with uneasiness.
After she had left the suite, she had rushed into her room and started packing up. Still wearing Richard's shirt. Rachel had come knocking on her door. She noticed Rachel gave her a funny look, but she avoided her gaze.
"Farrah, I'm not going to ask what happened...but you need to wash the sad of your face, sweetheart. And maybe, hide the initials monogrammed on the breast pocket," Rachel said gently, watching her carefully.
Dumbly, Farrah nodded and headed into the bathroom. She switched on the tap and as the water flowed, so did a few errant tears. With rough movements she wiped the tears away and splashed water on her face. She came out of the bathroom with her arms loaded with toiletries and packed those up.
When she was finally done with packing, she wore her leather jacket and zipped it up. The oversized sunglasses that Richard had donned early that morning was now covering her eyes. She left her hair down, simple because she didn't have the energy to deal with it. She kept to herself telling everyone that she was tired and feeling ill.
The door unlocked with a click and Farrah walked into the dark hallway. She knew she was going to be alone tonight. Once Charlie was done with her shift at Paani, she would be heading off to Ben's place to spend some time with him. As she slowly walked into her home, she switched on the lights and placed her shoes at the rack. She couldn't help but think back to the first night that Richard came over.
She had helped him with his watch and at the same time had wondered about him, about who he was. It was jarring to see, her tanned fingers against his fair pale skin. Farrah walked into the kitchen first to take a glass of water. As she lifted up the glass to drink; she paused. She remembered how Richard looked at her, eyes full of desire for her as he offered to help with the dishes. She also remembered his insecurity, his need for physical touch.
Swallowing thickly, she dragged her luggage behind her as she walked through the living room to get to her room. She tried to keep her eyes off the couch, but like a moth to a flame it was drawn there.
I am falling irrevocably in love with you.
That was what he said to her that night. Tears clouded her vision once more, as she thought about the beautiful, complicated, wonderful, sad, and gentle man who was in love with her.
She rushed into her room and without delay almost ripped the shirt off her back. She held it in her hand, poised to throw it into the bin but her eyes fell on the monogrammed alphabets on the breast pocket. A sob tore through her as she lovingly ran her hands over the stitching.
Wiping her tears and taking deep breaths she tried to calm herself as she walked to the laundry bin. She ran her fingers on last time over the initials and put it into the pile of dirty clothes. The tears kept flowing as she silently unpacked her luggage. As she was wiping her tears, her phone rang.
"Hello," she said her voice thick with tears, as she sat down on the bed she rolled her eyes.
"Sorry, 'Slamlaikum Saif," Farrah smiled through her tears.
***
"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Would you ever forgive me?" Richard said pleadingly as he rushed into Vicky's master suite in her countryside home. The words that were to follow died on his lips as he took in the scene in front of him: his sister cradling her newborn baby as her husband showered chaste kisses on her forehead.
"Richard, come over here darling," Victoria said still smiling at the baby in her arms. Richard swallowed thickly. He congratulated his brother in law and hugged him.
"You two catch up, I'll be right back," Vicky's husband said. As he was about to close the door, he turned at smiled a radiant smile at her and mouthed a silent 'I love you'. Richard quickly averted his eyes at the private moment that they were having.
"Alright bug, it's time for you to meet your Uncle Rich," Vicky said happily to her baby who was looking at her with big grey eyes. "Uncle Richard, is the best person in the world. We all love him so much, and I know that he will love you to the moon and back, and then a little more," she said as she gently positioned her baby in Richard's arms.
"Jesus woman, if you're trying to make me feel guilty for missing the birth, it is absolutely working," he said his eyes transfixed on the baby. Swallowing thickly, he brushed his thumb gently against the soft skin, "Hello bug."
"Vicks?" Richard called as he gently rocked the baby.
"Hmmm?" she hummed contently.
"Have you decided on a name yet?" He asked, not moving his gaze even for a second.
"I was thinking of Beatrice, but I am worried that it's a tad bit old fashion..." she trailed, scrunching her nose..
"Do you love the name?" his asked his sister.
"Yes," she breathed and then laughed. "So, I guess Beatrice it is then."
She smiled as she watched her younger brother cuddle his niece, with gentle touches and chaste kisses. Even though he was smiling, there was an air of despondency surrounding him. She gently placed her hand on his shoulders and rubbed it comfortingly.
"I want this, Vicks. I want this so badly," Richard blurted. His eyes still glued on his niece and the little movements that she made. "I want what you and Phillip have; a loving partner, children, a home. Do you think I'll even have it at all?" he asked turning his bright blue eyes to look at his sister.
There were tears in her eyes and Richard cursed softly, "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." He looked guiltily away.
"No, not, it's okay. It's just all the damn hormones," she waved him off. "You deserve all that and so much more, Richard. And you will have it, I promise you," Vicky said with so much conviction.
Richard, licked his lips and swallowed wondering how much should he tell his sister. She might be able to help. He heard her asking him in a gentle voice, "It's Farrah, isn't it?" Richard looked at his sister with wide eyes and nodded slowly. "...And you're in love with her, aren't you?" she asked again, and he nodded silently.
"Does she...is she in love with you?" Vicky asked.
"I..uh...I don't know," He said defeated. "I asked her to marry me," he looked away as he continued, "she said no."
"Why?" Vicky gasped as she struggled to sit up properly, as Richard swung his gaze to meet hers again. "Don't look at me like that, did she or did she not tell you the reason of her refusal?"
"Is it important?" Richard asked, feeling hurt that instead of the expected sympathy, he was getting interrogated by his sister instead.
"Yes, of course it's important. It determines the depth of her feelings towards you," she said rolling her eyes at him.
"She's a practising Muslim. She said no, because she is a practising Muslim..." he trailed as he gently rocked his arms to get Beatrice to settle back to sleep.
Richard saw the moment that everything clicked into place in Vicky's mind, "She didn't want you to have to convert. Because of your duties, your station, your titles; oh Richard, she loves you so very much." Vicky exclaimed. She paused for a while, frowning as though recalling something and suddenly gripped his arms tightly.
"Richard! We are allowed to marry Muslims, Hindus; anyone of other faiths really except for Catholics but since the act we can...but we aren't allowed to convert, especially if we are in line for the throne...and you my darling brother are seventh in line to the throne," Vicky breathed excitedly.
"What are you on about, Vicks?" he asked confused.
"Don't you get it, you are not directly in line for the throne. You don't need to be under The Church of England. You can still keep your titles and positions, even if you convert," Vicky rushed out. "You won't be giving anything up!"
He still looked at her with a blank expression, "Don't you remember, The Succession of The Crown Act? Grandmother sanctioned it before she handed the crown to Phillip? That was the one good thing that old biddy did before she passed away."
He started nodding slowly, something that felt like hope flickered in his chest. "And...uhm...how sure are you that she loves me?" he asked quietly.
"Oh darling, she is putting your needs above hers. She is putting you above herself, if that isn't love; I don't know what is," Vicky said with a small smile as she looked at her brother who had started to hope again.
***
Thank you for reading!