Chapter 18: Chapter 18

WREN

I head back to the apartment and carry on with a normal weekend day of chores, but I feel lighter.

While walking Puck or changing the oil in my truck, I find myself randomly smiling as I picture being wrapped up in Lance’s bed sheets.

I also can’t stop thinking about something else: Lance’s silk blindfold. I have to admit, I loved it. I found it exhilarating to submit to Lance and it resulted in the best orgasm I think I’ve ever had.

I wonder if Lance had any other...items to introduce.

Then a weird thought pops into my head. ~Did he use that blindfold on Emma? Did they explore that stuff together?~

The intrusive thought makes my stomach turn and I do my best to push it away.

I drive into town and go to a swanky lingerie store where I spend far too much on a lace bra and panty set. Finally, I pick up some provisions and head back out to the farm.

I shower and take my time getting ready. I put my new lingerie set on and look in the mirror. It’s black lace with scalloped edges. I smile as I picture Lance’s face when he sees it.

I throw some casual clothes on over the top and finish getting ready.

Around six p.m., I whistle for Puck and we walk to Lance’s house. I’m less nervous and more excited tonight as I knock on the door.

Lance opens the door and practically pulls me inside, kissing me deeply. When he finally stops, I’m nearly out of breath.

“You don’t have to knock,” he says.

“Okay,” is all I can manage, my head spinning.

Puck comes in and starts rubbing his back on the carpet in the living room while Lance closes the door.

“Hungry?” he asks.

I shrug. “Sure. I’m sorry, I should’ve offered to bring something or cook for you,” I say.

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he says. “I like cooking for you. But you can make the drinks.”

“Deal,” I say. I make us both whiskey sours and bring them into the kitchen. “Did you or Emma do the cooking?”

He sighs. “We went out to eat a lot,” he says, concentrating on chopping salad ingredients. “She enjoyed getting ready and being seen.”

“Sounds awful,” I say, taking a sip. He laughs and it makes my heart flutter.

“Yeah, I can’t imagine two people being more different,” he says, and my curiosity is stirred.

“Okay, so, don’t take this the wrong way but...what did you see in her? Why were you two together for so long?” I ask.

He keeps chopping and doesn’t seem fazed.

“You’re going to be super annoyed by my answer, but the truth is we’d been together since we were young adults and even on and off in high school.

“She was the prom queen and I was the quarterback. We both come from prominent families in the community. On paper, we made sense.” He finishes the salad and sets it aside.

“But then I changed, and I feel like she never really did.”

“How so?” I ask.

“I don’t know. I just stopped caring about being the best, about taking over the farm, about running for office.”

I nearly spit out my drink. “You were going to run for office?”

He shrugs. “Everything was on the table. I had a lot of ambition.”

“So what happened?”

“Mainly, the accident. Nothing like almost dying and eating food out of a straw for a while to put things in perspective,” he says.

“But I think if I had continued down that path, I would’ve woken up one day and realized how unhappy I was. Ultimately, Emma did me a favor.”

I nod.

“So...did you two...live here?” I ask.

“No, we lived in the cabin that Grant’s in. We switched so I could be closer to the main house. My mom felt like that would be safer while I continued to recover.”

I nod again.

“Feel better?” he asks.

“Yeah, I do. I know it seems silly, I just didn’t want to...” I trail off.

Lance comes up to me. He places his hands on my thighs and looks me in the eye.

“You can ask me whatever you want, when you want, okay? Nothing is off limits,” he says. I think of the blindfold sitting in a drawer upstairs, but I just nod.

“Thank you,” I say.

He smiles, grabs my face, and kisses me. It’s soft and sweet with a hint of desire and I can feel my pulse quicken.

“I just want you to be completely comfortable with me. I know you’ve been through a lot,” he says.

“I mean, so have you. Life is some shit sometimes,” I say, and he smiles.

“You are right about that. Come on, let’s go eat.”

Out on the patio, there’s a beautiful table set with candles and placemats. Fresh cut flowers sit in a vase in the center.

“Wow, this is lovely,” I say.

“I just wanted to do something nice for you,” he says as he sets the salad down and pulls my chair out.

I sit down and admire the view of the sun setting in the pasture while Lance pulls steaks off the grill.

After we’re all dished up, he sits down and we start eating.

As the sun sets, our conversation is light and easy. I think it’s funny how quickly our relationship went from stressful to calm yet exciting.

“You look like you’re thinking pretty hard about something,” he says.

“Um, I was just reminiscing about when we first met and how much has changed in the last month,” I say.

His face falls slightly. “Yeah, I didn’t handle that as well as I could have,” he says. “I just so badly wanted some normalcy again.”

I wave my hand dismissively. “It’s totally fine. I know what it’s like when you are tired of everyone walking on eggshells around you,” I say.

He leans forward and takes a sip of his drink.

“Is that why you left? Your home, I mean.”

I think for a second.

“Partially, I guess. It was sort of impulsive. I just didn’t think I could go on living there as if nothing happened.

“Going to the grocery store, feeding the chickens, waking up in the same bed—everything felt like it was getting harder and heavier every day,” I say.

“People kept stopping by with food and gifts. They’d ask how I was, but they’d never bring up Max or they’d get uncomfortable when I did.”

Lance’s eyes look sad as he continues to focus solely on me.

“I don’t blame them. I was a mess, always on the verge of tears, but I also didn’t want people to…” I pause, looking for the right word. “Leave him behind, ya know?

“Like if we don’t keep their memory alive, then what’s the point?”

My eyes are welling with tears. I dab at them with a napkin.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I haven’t talked about him this much since he died. I’m still trying to figure out how to do that without completely dissolving.”

Lance reaches over the small table and squeezes my arm.

“Don’t be sorry, ever,” he says. “I don’t know what it feels like to process that kind of grief, but please, if I can help or if I fuck up, just let me know. I never want to push you away.”

I smile tearily. “Thanks, you’re really sweet.”

When we’re done eating, we sit on a porch swing on his patio and watch the sunset. There’s a blanket over us and I’m snuggled up to Lance’s chest with his arm around me.

When the sun is all the way down, we decide to head inside for the night.

Lance looks at me while we finish cleaning up his kitchen.

“What do you want to do now, gorgeous?” He asks as he brushes my hair back from my face.

I raise an eyebrow and look at him mischievously. It’s all the permission he needs before he throws me over his shoulder and takes me upstairs.