Chapter 35: •CHP-34•

•••

chhuttiya khatam hone mein do din baqi the. woh apni packing kar raha tha jab jannat, mouni ke sath milne chali aayi thi. kuch der tak bahar khailte rehne ke baad mouni chali gayi to jannat uske paas aagai.

"Tum itwaar ko chale jao ge?"

"Haa"

"Kaha jao ge ?"

"Apne Hostel"

kuch der tak woh tasawwur hi tasawwur mein hostel ke maiene dhoondti rahi phir boli.

"phir tum dobara kab aao ge?"

apni tooty bag mein rakhte woh lamhe bhar ke liye ruka, phir usne murr kar jannat ko dekha. Shirazi mention, Azam Shirazi. servant quarters mein uska kamra adhoora naam liye kisi mulazim ke yateem bete ki pehchan yeh tamam andhere aik taraf aur jannat ka muntazir roshan chehra doosri taraf.

"Garmiyon ki chhutiyo mein aauga."

usne kaha, aur bohat dil se kaha. faisla kar ke, irada bandh kar kaha.

"Wada?"

jannat ki tasalii nahi hui.

"Wada..!"

"Pakka wala wada?"

aankhon se takeed chahti woh usey koi jeeti jaagti guriya lagi.

"Haan pakka wala wada..!"

woh hasa woh khil uthi. uske chehre par aik sath kayi rang aur kayi khawab baj gaye.

"Phir hum park jayege, aur pahadiyo par bhi chadege aur wahan daur tak jayen ge."

usne fiza mein hi haath buland kar ke kisi tasaworati sarzamen ki taraf ishara kar diya.

"Aur bohat sara ghume phiren ge. mouni kaka, mein aur Tipu aur tum aur.. aur Saleem."

Saleem ka zikar karte hue koi baat yaad aayi to chehray ke tasurat badal gaye.

"Ham Saleem ko nahi le kar jayen ge, wo baba se meri shikayte lagaata hai."

"Theek hai."

usne haami bhar li. woh khush hui. usne woh kisi khayaal ke tehat woh writing table ki daraze khich kar kuch dhoond ne laga. matlooba cheez nah milne par us ne wardrobe ka rukh kya. ab woh nichle khane mein kuch dekh raha tha. Jannat panjoo ke bal uske barabar baith gayi. jaise woh kuch dhoond raha hai to woh bhi dekhe woh kya dhoond raha hai. andar lakdi ka bara box rakha tha jisey poora nikaal kar usne farsh par rakh diya aur woh cheeze alag karne laga.

jo woh usey tohfatan de sakta tha, halanke usey apne khilone aur bachpan ki ashya bahut Aziz theen. kahaaniyon ki kitaaben, dhair saare rang aur markers chand gaadiya bhi thi jo chhotey size ki thi.

aur aik khubsoorat sa khargosh bhi tha. lakdi ka box siyah rang ka jis par harf "F" hard ki calligraphy ki gayi thi. slide kar ke khulta tha. andar teen dairies pack shuda haalat mein jo ki to rakhi theen. usne siya diaries pichhle saal kaafi mehngi qeemat par kharidi theen magar bawajood koshish ke bhi woh un par kuch likh na saka tha.

usne woh box jannat ko de diya. bhale se woh in safhon ko phaar kar zaya kere ya sabaq likh kar kharaab kere ya drawing banati rahe usey parwah nahi thi. bas woh chahta tha uski cheezo ko istemaal kere ke uske paas to har tohfa aur har cheez jo ki to pari rehti thi.

Jannat itni saari cheeze dekh kar be panah khush hui.

"Tum bohat achhe ho baba se bhi achhe"

use jab apni shadeed khushi ka izhaar karna hota to woh use nana se upar ka darja de deti thi. woh usey tahef ke sath ghar chhor kar aaya to kitni der tak uska dil bojhal raha.

boarding school mein admission ke baad aisa pehli baar huwa tha ke woh wapas nahi jana chahta tha. usne khud ko hostel tak mehdood kar ke shirazi mansion mein kabhi nahi aane ka faisla teen saal pehle Kiya tha magar ab woh aana chahta tha. baar baar aana chahta tha. khwahish dil ki thi labon par nahi layi ja sakti thi. na yeh ghar uska tha, na log uske apne the. na uske ehsasat ki qader thi, na khwahisaat ki koi manzilat thi.

woh apni mann maani nahi kar sakta tha. apne rastay khud se nahi chunn sakta tha. apni manzil khud se mutayyan nahi kar sakta tha. raat karvatein badalte guzar gayi. din ke ujale mein bhi uspar udasi chhai rahi mukammal tayari ke sath jab woh kamre se bahar nikla to usne siyah rang ki do gaadiyo ko bairooni darwaze ke samne khade dekha.

Agha Ali jis gaadi mein uska samaan rakh raha tha, woh gaari shirazi khandan ke makeeno ke zair istemaal rehti thi. uski raftaar khud bakhud madham hogayi. gaadi ke qareeb pochne tak uske tasurat mukammal badal chuke the. woh sapat chehre ke sath ab doosri gaadi ko dekh raha tha. sheeshe siyah the magar woh jaanta tha gaadi ki aqbi nashist par koi mojood tha. security sakht thi. andaza lagaya ja sakta tha ke koi ahem shakhsiyat hi thi.

Haroon shirazi, Azam shirazi ya phir..

"Betho.."

agha Ali ne aqbi nashist ka darwaaza uske liye khoola to woh bag dahine kandhe se latakaye apni jagah khada raha.

"Aap ki jeep kahan hai?"

"Kharab hai. Mechanic ko theek karne ke liye di hai, kuch din lag jayege"

Faris apni jagah se aik inch nahi hila. Nigah mein Agha Ali ke chehre par jami rahen. barabar wali siyah gaadi ke sheesho se kisi ne uski taraf aik be zaari nazar daali. phir head phones gardan par thehra kar note pad par kuch likhte hue, usne can se ghoont bhara.

"Mulazimo ke bachche in gadiyo mein safar kar sakte hain?"

aur gaari se bahar, ain samne faris wajdan Agha Ali se pooch raha tha.

"Jee! sahab ne ijazat di hai."

aur sahab ne jane kaise ijazat de di thi. usne mazeed koi sawal nahi kiya.

woh gaadi mein sawaar huwa to agha Ali ne muskura kar darwaaza band kar diya. driving seat par black two piece me malboos 1 shakhs betha tha. Passenger seat bhi uske jaisey aik guard ne sambhal rakhi thi. back view mirror se aik nazar usey dekhte gaari start kar di gayi.

bairooni ihate se nikal kar gaari markazi shahrah ki taraf barhi to usne bulandi se daur tak phaile sabze ko dekha. dr. mustafa ka makaan usey wazeh nazar aa raha tha. Jannat ka khayaal aaya to woh soch kar muskuraya. aur qismat usey dekh kar muskarayi.

•••

rastay judda hue manzil andher ho gayi. kuch khawab aankhon mein thehr gaye. aur kuch muntashir ho kar bikhar gaye. umeed qaim thi. intezaar daaim raha tha magar garmiyo ki wo chhuttiya kabhi nahi aayi thi. Faris wajdan ne jo wada jannat kamaal se Kiya tha, woh kabhi poora nahi ho saka tha. aur woh tamam ki tamam yaden, lamhe aur ashya uske samne bhikri pari thi.

Muntashir, toote bikhare khawabo ki tarah kisi bholi bisri yaad ki tarah mabham dhund mein malfoof aur zakhmo se chur ho kar. talwar waisi hi mazboot thi, halka sa rang urr chuka tha. wooden box purana lag raha tha. hurf 'F' ki calligraphy ke gird stickers mehez nishani ke tor par reh gaye the jinhe utaarne ki nakaam koshish ki gayi thi.

Dr. mustafa aur un ki nawasi ki yadgar taswere, wooden flour par yaha waha bhikri thi. woh har tasweer mein un ke kandhe se aur kahin seene se lagi khadi thi aur har tasweer mein uski jaan daar muskurahat shehad rang aankhon se jhalakti nazar aa rahi thi.

usne teen diaries di thi aur un mein sirf aik hi is ke qadmon mein pari thi.

usne himmat kar ke kapkapate hathon se diary uthali. wo saat sala jannat ki drawings dekhne ki tawaqqa kar raha tha magar diary ke safhe guzre waqt ki un ihato aur mehsosat se se par par par the. jinhein bayan karne ka ka jannat ko kabhi mauqa moorad nahi mila tha. wo gham jo usey lho lohan karte the, wo mehromiya jo usey fanaa karti thi. wo tanhai jo uske muqaddar ho gayi thi, aur woh khauf jo uske hoslo par sawaar rehne lagey tha.

Aziyat bhare lamhe, fateha ehsasat us ne hurf bah hurf darj kar rakhe the. khud ko adhoora, naaqis aur na mukammal samjhti thi. saare aitraaz, shikwe usne un safho par dhar diye the. har dard ko amar kar diya tha. har dukh ko saja diya tha. kahin gham rough likhai se jhalakta tha. aur kahin mout ki khwahish karti kisi ibaarat se larakta tha.

Shohar ke ghar zindagi jahannum thi aur maa ka rawaIyya kisi deeni aziat se kam nahi tha. aise mein usne har jagah nana ko yaad rakha tha. woh hote to uski zindagi aisi na hoti. woh dua karte to yaqeenan mehromiya mit jati.

muhabbate reh jati. halaat aisey na hote sazaye itni na hoti na kirdaar par baat aati, na qatal ka ilzaam lagta. na Allah ke iraado par koi sawal uthata na koi taqqabur ki duldul mein utarte hue khud ko khuda karta. haan woh aise hi thay. har zarb ke aage dhaal ban jatay the. khari khari suna kar laa jawab kar dete the. Nana yaqeenan usey bacha lete. kisi waadi mein chhupa lete. unhon ne pehle bhi yahi kya tha. woh ab bhi yahi karte.

magar woh nahi the. un ke jaisi na kisi ki chahat thi, unke jaisa na kisi ka rawaiyya tha. rishto ke muamle mein woh khud ko bad qismat aur mohabbat ke muamle mein khud ko bad naseeb samjhti thi. woh hurf ba hurf usey parhta ja raha tha aur woh khud ko likh kar mitati ja rahi thi. diary ka safar dr. mustafa ki wafaat se shuru ho kar Burhan se Talaq par khatam ho gaya tha. aage ke tamam safhe bohat saaf aur khaali the. aise jaise zindagi bas thi hi Burhan tak Burhan se Talaq aur maa ki wafaat tak uske baad agay kuch nah tha.

usne be dihani mein kayi safhe palat daaley the magar kahin bhi uska zikar nahi tha, nahi nafrato ki nishandehi thi, nahi aziyato ka hawala tha. aise jaisey uski zindagi mein faris wajdan nahi aaya tha. uski doosri shadi nahi hui thi. usey doosra ghar nahi mila tha. Shafe khaali thi. khaali hi rahi thi magar guzashta paanch mah faris wajdan ki aankhon mein sama gaye the. waqt ruk gaya tha. manzar badalte ja rahe thay.

"Jo kuch ban chuka hoon, woh sab mummy ko batauga to woh kya sochen gi? aik aisi larki ko baho bana baithi hai jo infertile hai. jis ne apni sotan ke bachche ki jaan laine ki koshish ki hai. jis ke khandan ke log usey achhot ki tarah treat karte hain aur jo apni maa ki mout ka sabab bani hai."

apni zaat ke qile mein mahsor woh apne aap mein fanaa hone laga.

"mein tumhari aik mushkil aasaan kar deta hon jis din mein tumhe is ghar se bahar ka rasta dikhauga usdin tumahare bank account mein itni raqam hogi ke tum agle das pandrah saloon tak ghar mein baith kar bhi urra ogi to khatam nahi hogi, so yeh sochna chhor do ke Talaq ke baad tumhara kya banega. doulat miley gi to tum bhool jatay gi Burhan kon tha, Faris kon hai."

kisi qader koshish se woh uth khara huwa.

"Self respect kya apne ex husband ke ghar beech khayi hai tum ne?"

baa-mushkil qadam uthate hue woh sidiya utar kar neeche aa gaya tha.

"Waise tumhari yeh adae tumhare pehley shohar ke kaam nahi aayi? mera matlab hai, tum uske sath paanch saal rahi ho. paanch saal ka arsa koi mazaaq nahi hai. is ke bawajood tumhe Talaq hui."

seenay par koi saqeel se aan pari thi. tanaffus bhaari hone laga tha. dastak de kar usne mrs. Shirazi ke bed room ka darwaaza khol diya. woh bed crown se take lagaye bilkul khamosh baithi thi. aahat par sar uthaye uski taraf mutwajjah huien. zarkar roshni mein unhon ne uska huliya, uski ankhen, uske tasurat dekhe aur pareshan ho gayi. woh ahistagi se qadam uthata un ke paas aakar baith gaya tha. uski ankhen betasha surkh ho rahi thi. chehra karb ki akkaasi kar raha tha.

"Mein ne yeh shadi aap ke liye ki thi, mein usey nibhana nahi chahta tha."

Mrs. Shirazi dukh aur sadme se usey dekh kar reh gayi.

"Mein ne usse bohat baar kaha, yeh contract marrage hai, mein usey khatam kar duga."

uska chehra aansoo se mukammal tar ho chuka tha.

"Mein ne kaha jab tak mummy hain, tab tak tum yahan ho."

Mrs. Shirazi ki aankhon mein karb utra. ankhen dhundlaa gayi.

"Mein ne usey khauf dekhaya. mein ne usey gardan se pakra tham mene! mein ne usey bahut nafrat dikhayi hai. Bahut ziyada nafrat dikhayi hai."

uski aawaz kanp rahi thi. chehra surkh ho raha tha.

"Woh saari raat farsh par baith kar roti rahi. mein aawaz sunta raha magar mein nahi gaya. halaanke jab woh choti thi aur roti thi to mein foran jata tha."

woh un ke ghusse aur na raazi ki parwa kiye baghair rondhi hui aawaz mein sab kehta ja raha tha.

"Woh sidra ki shadi par nahi jana chahti thi. mein usey zabardasti le kar gaya tha. woh mere sath wapas aana chahti thi, mein usey un hi logon mein chhor kar agaya tha. usne mujhe phone kya, mein ne mobile off kar diya. usne rerecording bhaiji, mein ne sune baghair number block kar diya. yeh meri nafrat thi mummy! aur aap mujh  mujh pooch rahi theen. usne mera intezaar kyun nahi kiya? woh mera intezaar kyu karti? mere liye kaise rukti? mein to kabhi nahi ruka uske liye mein ne to kabhi intezaar nahi kiya."

Mrs. Shirazi usey aziyat aur be basi se dekh kar reh gayi. woh yun toota huwa tha jaisey kabhi zee nahi sakega. yun bikhra huwa tha jaise kabhi simat nahi sakega.

"lekin aap mera yaqeen karen." usne mrs shirazi ke haath thaam liye.

"Mein koshish kar raha tha mujhe khud nahi pata lekin mein badal raha tha, mein mein usey apna raha tha."

woh aik dam se wohi saat sala faris ho gaya tha jo apni kehta jata tha, aur rota jata tha. aik aik karke saare shikwe woh un ki hathelion par dhar deta tha, saare gham suna deta tha, saari mehrumiya dikha deta tha. woh usey baho mein bharti thi to woh par sukoon ho jata tha, magar aaj un ke seene se lag kar bhi woh be sukoon huwa raha tha.

"Mein uske sath nahi rehna chahta tha. mein dobara mohabbat nahi karna chahta tha lekin mera dil! mera dil..!"

woh apni tamam tar himmat aur chattaan hosle ke sath rezah rezah ho gaya. usey baho mein samete samete woh khud bhi aabdeeda ho gayi.

uske aas paas ab sirf andheray thay aur maazi tha. jannat thi aur uska rawaiyya tha. uski umeed thi, uska yaqeen tha. kitne maan se woh uska har kaam karti thi. kitni umeed se wo uske aage peeche phirti thi. aur kitney sabr se woh uski har karvi kaseli baat seh jati thi. usey yaqeen tha, woh badal jaye ga. usey yaqeen tha, woh uska pathar dil mom kar legi aur jab yaqeen assar karne laga tha to woh ghar chhore kar chali gayi thi.

Usne Talaq aur contract marriage ka zikar khatam kar diya magar uske zehen se nah nikaal saka. apne faisle badalne laga, agar apne iraado se aagahi na de saka. uski har inayat saza aur har meharbani intizam ho gayi aur woh chaah kar bhi uski ghalat nahi daur nah kar saka.

mamlaat dil ke the aur dil tak reh gaye thay. lafzi izhaar to kahin bhi nahi tha, na aamaal se umeed zahir hui thi. woh jo khud apne ehsasat se be khabar raha tha, usey khabar kaise deta? woh jo khud mayoosi ki daldal mein dhansa huwa tha, usey umeed kaise dilaata? woh aik inaam thi. be shumaar khasare aur nuksanat ke baad uske hisse mein aayi thi. woh uska naeeeb thi. uska rizq uski raahat uska sukoon jisey woh apne hathon se gawaa betha tha. khud ihtasaabi ki do dahari talwar par qadam dharte hue woh wapas palat raha tha magar peechwe aik na khatam hone wali khalish aur kasak ke siwa kuch bhi baqi nahi raha tha.

𝒌𝒂𝒃𝒉𝒊 𝒕𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒌𝒆 𝒓𝒂𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏 𝒑𝒂𝒓

𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒂𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒉𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒂𝒌𝒉𝒏𝒂!

𝒉𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒆, 𝒃𝒂𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒍, 𝒇𝒊𝒛𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒏,

𝒎𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒎, 𝒌𝒉𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒍 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒉𝒓𝒆

𝒃𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒍 𝒃𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒍 𝒌𝒂𝒓 𝒕𝒖𝒎𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒆

𝑻𝒐 𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒉𝒂 𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒉𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒆

𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒐𝒏 𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒌𝒉, 𝒅𝒉𝒐𝒌𝒆

𝒎𝒆𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒂 𝒏𝒂 𝒋𝒂𝒏𝒂..

𝒌𝒂𝒃𝒉𝒊 𝒋𝒐 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒇 𝒕𝒖𝒎𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒆

𝒌𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒏 𝒌𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒑𝒏𝒂 𝒌𝒉𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒃 𝒔𝒂

𝒃𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒏 𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒆, 𝒛𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒓 𝒖𝒕𝒓𝒆,

𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒌𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒂 𝒏𝒂 𝒋𝒂𝒏𝒂

𝒌𝒂𝒃𝒉𝒊 𝒋𝒐 𝒂𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒉𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒆𝒊𝒏

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒌𝒆

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒏𝒊 𝒌𝒂 𝒌𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒓 𝒃𝒉𝒂𝒓 𝒅𝒆 𝒕𝒐

𝒂𝒑𝒏𝒊 𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒌𝒂𝒉𝒊𝒏

𝒌𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒂 𝒎𝒆𝒊𝒏 𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒂 𝒏𝒂 𝒂𝒂𝒏𝒂

𝒌𝒆 𝒚𝒆𝒉 𝒏𝒂 𝒉𝒐 𝒑𝒉𝒊𝒓 𝒋𝒐 𝒌𝒉𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒃 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒆

𝒅𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒅𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌  𝒌𝒂 𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒂𝒃 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒆

𝒌𝒆 𝒋𝒊𝒔𝒎 𝒐 𝒋𝒂𝒂𝒏 𝒑𝒂𝒓 𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒂𝒃 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒆

𝒂𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒖𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒂-𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒌𝒊𝒍 𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒛𝒕𝒆𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒏 𝒔𝒆

𝒌𝒊𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊 𝒌𝒊𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊  𝒃𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒃𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒆

𝒌𝒂𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊 𝒑𝒂𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒉 𝒌𝒆

𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊 𝒉𝒖𝒊 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒂𝒉𝒐𝒏 𝒔𝒆

𝒘𝒂𝒑𝒔𝒊 𝒌𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒂𝒏 𝒅𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒐!

𝒖𝒋𝒂𝒅 𝒈𝒂𝒚𝒂 𝒋𝒐 𝑱𝒂𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒅𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒐

𝒕𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒌𝒆 𝒓𝒂𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒂𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒂𝒅𝒐

𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒉𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒂𝒌𝒉𝒏𝒂 𝒌𝒂𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒆

𝒌𝒉𝒂𝒂𝒍𝒊 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒕 𝒌𝒆 𝒂𝒂𝒏𝒂

𝑩𝒂𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒊 !

𝑩𝒂𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒊 !

𝑩𝒂𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒊 !

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