Chapter 39: Unsure

The bond Blaze and I had was noticeable but never unpleasant. At least not until he left. The moment he disappeared, I felt his absence hit me hard.

“It’s always the hardest the first time,” Petra said, appearing out of thin air.

I looked up at her, taking a seat in the closest chair to me. “It hurts…” It wasn’t a physical hurt, it was more emotional. It reminded me of the pain I had felt when my depression had been at its peak right after Collin had left me.

Looking down at me, Petra shook her head. “Did he warn you?”

I nodded. “He told me to fight my feelings, but I don’t know how.”

Petra tilted her head. “You have to be mentally strong, which we both know you are.”

Looking up at her, I wanted to tell her how wrong she was, but instead I shook my head. “He’s coming back.” When she nodded at me, I took a deep breath. “I can call him back. He will come to me when I call him, even though he doesn’t have to listen to me anymore.”

Petra took a seat on my couch. “How did you get him to agree?”

I looked down at the ground. “I think I guilt tripped him.” My eyes moved up to look at her. “I didn’t mean to. I was having this whole pity party and he…”

“You can’t guilt trip a demon, Riley. What did you promise him?”

“Nothing,” I said, frowning. “He…We fought and then we…”

Petra held her hand up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have questioned his decision. It was just as much his as yours, but good job hitting him during sex.”

“It wasn’t like that. I almost told him I…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. Blaze wouldn’t want me to finish that sentence.

“You love the demon, don’t you?” Petra asked.

I didn’t look up at her as I nodded. “I know it’s stupid. I haven’t even known him for a solid month, but I feel more connected to him than I have ever been to anyone else in my entire life.”

“You are babe. You were already bonded to him with your tattoo, and now you have let him claim you. You do realize that, don’t you? He was already bonded to you. You just weren’t bonded to him.”

“I know we suck at keeping secrets from him, but can I tell you something?” I said softly.

“We can try, but this time, try not to blurt it out to him first chance you get.”

Nodding at her, I took a deep breath. “He told me that knowing his name was my one bargaining tool. That if things got bad, to use it to free myself.”

“He said what?” Petra asked, clearly shocked by what I had just said.

“I just want you to know that if it ever came down to it, I would never betray him. If things go bad and I get killed, I want you to tell him I love him too much to betray him. I would die to keep him safe.”

“Oh babe,” Petra said, standing up and walking over to where I am. “It’s the bond. It’s makes things so much more intense than they have to be.”

I wiped at the tears that were free falling from my eyes. “No. I felt that way before, too. He deserves so much more than…”

“You don’t even know him.” Petra said bluntly. “He’s done horrible things.”

I shook my head. “You could tell me all the horrible things he has ever done and I would still love him just the same. He may be a monster to everyone else, but he’s different with me.”

“You are a delusional fool.” Petra shook her head. “But apparently, so is he. I think he might damn well burn this world to ash for you.”

Her words made my heart hurt a little less at his absence. I had never wanted the hero. The hero would do what was best for all mankind, even if it meant hurting the ones he loved. Not the villain, though. The villain wouldn’t stop until he saved the one he loved.

Did Blaze love me? Was he capable of love? Or was I just the first human he had interacted with since he had been imprisoned? Did that make him more attached to me? That plus the fact that I had his sigil tattooed on my hand?

“He doesn’t act the way I thought a demon would act,” I said out of nowhere.

“He does have angel blood running through him,” Petra said, crossing her legs. “He’s a direct descendant of Lucifer.”

“And you are not?”

Petra shook her head. “I’m the product of one of our mother’s many affairs.”

“That’s why he is a prince? Because of his relation to Lucifer?”

Nodding, Petra looked up at me. “Lucifer, of course, is in charge of hell, but he keeps a prince on the throne at all times to serve in his place. He only allows one heir on the throne and with his father dead, that left him next in line.”

“Why is his place in line more powerful than this Gregar’s?”

Petra sat up. “Blaze’s father was the eldest child of Lucifer and Lilith. Gregar is much further down the line.”

I sat back in my chair a little in aww that the devil himself was Blaze’s grandfather. Hell, the fact that Blaze even had a grandfather was crazy to me. “Your mother?”

“Dead,” Petra said flatly. “Betrayed and killed by someone she thought loved her. See, that happens a lot with demons. It’s why we are taught from a very young age not to trust anyone. Each other, humans, everyone has to be watched closely.”

“You can trust me,” I said, hoping that she believed me.

“Look,” Petra said, looking over at me. “I really don’t know Blaze that well myself. Like I said, I was young when he went away and he just kinda popped up on me, too. But I know he trusts you. He trust you and he cares about you and that man cares about nothing but himself and his family.” She looked down. “He doesn’t know what to do with you.” She smiled, “I told him to love you, but I don’t know if he knows how Riley. What you see is what you get with him.”

Tears rimmed my eyes as I realized she was telling me in her own way that Blaze loved me as much as he could love anything. Monsters didn’t have emotions. Bullshit. They did, they just didn’t always know how to express them.

“I…”

Petra bolted up, pausing as she listened. The frown on her face made me close my mouth, forgetting whatever I had been about to tell her.

“Collin.”

“What? He’s here?” My eyes instantly went to my two dogs that were asleep at my feet. I could feel the panic build up inside my body, but before Petra had time to reply, Blaze was standing in front of me, looking down at me, worried.

When the knock at my door sounded, he turned to look at Petra. “Keep her here.”

I went to reach out for him, but he was already walking away, morphing back into the muscular, tattooed biker he had been when Collin had first appeared at my door.

“Great,” Petra said, rolling her eyes. “I didn’t think he would come until one of us called to him. I am not dressed to clean up a murder tonight.”

“A murder?” I repeated.

She nodded. “He’s warned him. He didn’t listen. Blaze does not play about things that belong to him. I told you us demons were possessive little buggers, didn’t I?”

Standing up, I tried to head to the front door and stop Blaze from doing anything stupid, but Petra grabbed me. “Even if you stop him now, he won’t’ live to see the sunrise tomorrow.”

“But…” I felt my emotions flying all over the place. I didn’t want Blaze to murder anyone, and I didn’t want to get accused or questioned about Collin’s disappearance. What if they thought I did it? I couldn’t damn well tell them my demon lover had killed him, now could I?

Wringing my hands together, I turned around and started pacing. “You can’t let him kill Collin. They will think it was me. I…I can’t go to prison. I…”

“Calm down, Riley.” Petra said, grabbing my shoulders. “He would never let you go to prison. Demons kill people every day and no-one ever knows it. We aren’t stupid. Random accidents like car crashes, freak accidents. Nine times out of ten, it’s all us.”

I crossed my arms, hugging myself. “I want him back. I…”

“I’m here Riley.”

Like a scene out of a movie, I went running to him, throwing myself in his arms, praying that he caught me. When his arms circled around me, I didn’t care how stupid I looked. He was back. Blaze was back.

“Well, that was fast,” Petra said, sitting back down.

Blaze looked over my shoulder to look at his sister. “He smelled of magic.”

“Impossible,” she said.

I frowned, “magic? Collin?”

“Somebody knows?”

Blaze shook his head, “and I will find out who.” Looking down at me, he tilted my chin up. “I need you to do some research for me. Can you do that?” When I nodded, he softly kissed my lips. “Go visit Lakyn. See if she brings anything else up about her grandmother. I think the old lady knows more than what she said.”

Nodding, I hugged him. “Please be careful.”

He leaned down kissing my forehead, “danger is close little witch. Eyes open at all times.”