Chapter 18: 17

...Meanwhile

°Deanne's POV°

6:30 P.M.

I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, comb in hand, as Yanique sits cross-legged on the floor in front of me, her head resting on my thigh.

Her hair is thick and curly, and gets really knotty really easily, so I gently pull the comb through it, knowing how tender-headed she is.

Surprise di frigga nuh start bawl out already....

"Mi a beg yuh, Deanne, please don’t tear out mi scalp,” she complains, wincing as I try to detangle a knot.

Same rahtid thing. Chat too fast.

I laugh. “Mi a be gentle, man. Yuh hair just stubborn.”

She huffs and playfully hisses her teeth. “Yuh nuh have sum'n weh stubborn? Aye...!”

Murdaaaaaaaaaa, mi punny!

I grin, but my focus stays on her hair, sectioning it off.

Since she a complain 'bout how hot it feels, I try detangling her thick curls with my fingers instead, but she’s restless, regardless, shifting every few seconds.

“Hold still, nuh, woman,” I say, tugging lightly at a knot. “Yuh know say yawh  make this harder than it need fi be?”

“Mi cyaan help it,” she complains, leaning her head back onto my thigh. “Yuh know mi 'fraid a mi hair...”

“Nasty people alone 'fraid a dem head so eno," I tease.

Earning another hiss teeth from the browning before me. “Aye, don't make mi rude to yuh!”

“Say sum'n wah mi nuh like and see who bawl in yah tonight!” I laugh. "Wid yuh tough head.”

Lil gyal get ev'rything from her dry head puppa.

“Ano everybody can born wid soft, coolie hair like yuh eno! Have some compassion, man.”

“Yuh waa some a mine fi buy?” I say, biting back a laugh at the thought which immediately pops into my head. “Can sell yuh some offa mi front...”

Yanique pulls away, leaning forward and staring back at me with her face scrunched up. “Move yuh pussyclaat and nuh sorry fi mi, bitch!”

“Murdaaaaaaaaaa! A waa scream out!” I double over.

Mid laugh, I add, “A good quality eno. Yuh can get a 10 inch buss dung.”

On second thought...“Or a nice likkle pixie wig.”

A cyaaa manage miself!

“Apple...!” she warns, grunting to solidify her threat, moving over to sit on the ottoman in the corner.

I laugh harder.

Waiii! This too nice and good...!

“A joke yawh, mi cousin," I try to friend her back up, when I've sobered from laughing so hard my jaws hurt, "come make mi finish do yuh hair nuh."

"Mi nuh bother waa yuh touch mi head, man!"

I fold my lips. "So yuh nuh bother want yuh hair do then?"

"No."

Mi kackaclaat.

My eyes travel to her afro puff. She's cute, so it fits her. "Yuh can rock it so still. It's giving retro vibes. Nineties baby."

She frowns but I can see the smile playing on her lips. "Remind mi why mi tek up miself come a yuh yard again?"

"Because yuh love mi. And mi a yuh favourite cousin in the whole wide world?"

"Fava shit!"

"Pon stick," she adds, cutting me off as I am about to speak.

I flip her the bird. "That's why yuh head tough and picky picky so!"

Watch how the gyal ago claat yuh wid sum'n. Wait.

"A joke!" I scream, ducking as she tosses the empty Bigga bottle she was drinking from earlier at me.

I sit up, feigning a frown. "See how naega people love style people and cyaa tek stylings? Ah."

"Yuh lucky!" she hisses, settling back down in font of me.

Think a you just say yuh nuh want mi back inna yuh head, broad face gyal!

Chuckling below my breath, at the thought, I continue sectioning her hair.

Bwoi, tha likkle laugh deh did really needed. Sigh.

We fall into a comfortable silence as Yanique goes back to scrolling on her phone. That's until she breaks it saying, "A mi alone cyaa believe the likkle Saturday almost done already? And dread fi start the BORING, disgusting week all over again?"

I hum. "And mi deh yah a say today a move slow?" Or maybe a tru mi lock up inna mi room all day?

Matter-of-fact, that has been my routine nowadays. From school to home. And back. Especially since I've been avoiding such man like the plague, so I skip going ev'rywhere there's a chance of me running into him; no bus stop, no Halfway Tree.

Yan scoffs. "No sah! Couldn't be me. Mi feel like mi out fi mad out a day time. Especially after mi leff school and mi affi deh home. Counting down the days 'til weekend again so mi can go 'bout mi business."

Unlike me, Yanique is more of an extrovert, the drinking and partying hard type, so I get where she's coming from.

"Well," I say, thinking aloud, “why yuh nuh pick up a hobby? Try something different fi change it up. Sum'n yuh can do during weekdays, after school, fi keep yuh mind occupied.”

"Girl, anything mi a do must be sum'n weh a mek money. Cyaa bother with nothing else right now."

"So do sum'n weh ago bring een money then, simple."

She scoffs again. “Like wah? Everybody a do di same thing—TikTok challenge, hair and makeup, selling bag, or the fucking dutty waist trainer dem. Mi nuh see myself inna dem ting deh, Dee. Fucking liad dem!”

"Who?" I quirk a brow at how strong she comes off.

"Nuh the bitch dem and dem dutty rip-off waist trainer dem!"

I burst out laughing. “No sah! Lowe the people dem! Wah dem and dem waist trainers do yuh?”

She cracks a smile. "Them lucky! Lie nuh rass. 'Bout wear this and train waist. Mi buy one from the gyal Poochie and all now not a pound nuh come offa mi waist! All it do a squeeze out mi fucking tripe like it out fi cut off mi oxygen supply. Mek dem move!"

Her comment makes me laugh harder.

"Waii, mi belly bottom. Yanique nuh kill mi off. A beg!"

From this gyal reach ova yah, mi nuh stop skin out mi sixty-two like mi drink mad puss piss to pussyclaat!

A tired!

"So wah yuh did a train anyway?" I glance at her almost flat tummy. She's thicker than me——by far! ——but she's shapey and sexy with her curves. "The waist trainer have a right fi nuh do noth'n. A tell it a tell yuh fi go sit the fuck down and stop form fool."

"Watchya! So yuh nuh see mi belly how it a get big?"

"Where?" I fix her with a look.

She grips her belly. "See mi a get a little pouch deh."

Rolling my eyes, I hiss my teeth. "Move, man." Come like crawses.

"But a true, man," she says, going back to the initial topic. "Mi need something different, fi real. Tired of the same old, same old."

"Well," I say, thinking aloud, “why yuh nuh try do something weh challenge yuh? But it can still be unique and appeal to people, so yuh can eventually monetize it.”

"Go on."

My lips spread into a smile. “Mi nuh know. Maybe...mi see yuh a draw comics or a doodle all the time. Why yuh nuh try get serious wid it?”

She hesitates for a moment, glancing back at me. "Drawing, girl? Yuh think people really ago waa see dat? Everybody more interested in fashion or who a start di next big YouTube channel. Or mix-up page."

I start braiding her hair, keeping my movements slow. "So start one..."

"One wah?"

"YouTube."

"Girl..."

"Mi nah seh yuh fi follow everybody else! Is like yuh seh earlier——everything feel di same because everybody a do di same thing. Why yuh nuh just focus pon wah yuh good at?  Yuh can focus yuh channel on your art. Maybe people will like it more than yuh think, you may never know."

“Hmm,” she mumbles, her tone softer now, like she’s really considering it. “Mi nuh sure. But maybe mi coulda start post mi drawings dem and see if anybody take on to it. Then mi can do YouTube?”

“Dat sounds like a good idea to me,” I say, tying off one braid and starting on the next. “Mi know yuh have talent. An’ not just ‘cause you a mi cousin mek mi say so.”

She smirks, shaking her head slightly. “Mi hear yuh eno, but mi still kinda fraid fi put miself out deh so. Aye! Dem people deh pon the media savage eno! And mi nawh ask Christ if mi nuh will fight a gyal!”

Chuckling, I shake my head. “As a war boat. But big and serious...mi see all kinda foolishness a blow up pon social media every day, so why people wouldn't gravitate to constructive things? Plus, you ago pick your niche and target audience. If they don't like it, they are obviously not a part of your target audience. Blot out the haters if and when they come. Simple.”

Yan is quiet for a while, and I wonder if I'm being too pushy. But then, she perks up, that mischievous glint in her eyes again.

"Yuh know wah else mi did a tink ‘bout, though?”

“Wah?” I ask, knowing there’s no telling where her mind’s at.

“Mi did a wonder how mi can link up wid one foreign man.”

I burst out laughing. Again. Smaddy come rescue mi from tha gyal yah nuh! “A wah kinda...miss! Stop di fuckry!”

"Mi serious!" she says, laughing too. “Mi si how some a di girl dem inna mi class link up wid di American boy dem online, and trust mi, di lifestyle look sweet. All Kayanna do it and the gyal get money yuh frig.”

I shake my head, frowning for real now. “Yuh did know say ano everything wah glitter a gold?”

Despite my objection, my curiosity piques. "Plus, how yuh plan fi do that, anyways?"

"Well," she says, twisting to face me, “mi friend Kayanna seh she meet one on a travel app. Mi coulda sign up, put up some cute pictures, an’ just see weh happen. Di man dem a look fi girls fi fly out all di time."

I stop braiding and give her a look. “Fi nyam shit inna bucket, yes!"

"Bomboclaat, Apple! Wah yuh mean!?"

"Exactly wah mi say. Ask di gyal dem 'bout the Dubai baddies."

"But why yuh say it so though?"

"Why not?"

She laughs. Then says, "Mi nawh nyam nuh shit, girl! Just ago ask fi money and take two flights here and there."

I hum, feeling annoyed at her logic. "And yuh t'ink mi nah go tell Auntie yuh a plan fi fly out wid stranger?”

Call me a hating ass bitch.

She laughs again, flopping her head back onto my lap. “Nuh worry yuhself, mi just a chat foolishness. Mi nuh so frighten fi money. Plus, mi wouldn't so careless fi gone pon plane wid strange man. But it woulda nice if one cute foreigner did slide inna mi DMs, though.”

“Hmm,” I hum, laughing with her now. “But mi still a tell yuh nuffi make people full up yuh likkle head a foolishness. Social media ano real life.”

She's just 17, hasn't even lived yet, so I don't want her following the wrong crowd under the wrong influence before time.

“I know,” she says, sighing dramatically. “But yuh cyaan blame mi fi daydream. Mi waa live life like di fairytale dem inna book too.”

“Noth'n nuh wrong wid daydreaming,” I say, patting her on the shoulder. After all, I live in my head more than anything else...“But until di foreign man show up, the legitimate one by the way, yuh better focus pon di drawing t'ing and make your honest bread yawh. Until yuh graduate and can start sum'n else if yuh waa.”

Yanique groans playfully. “Mi get di message, Deanne. Mi a go work pon it. Geez.”

Mi nuh business. Yuh can frownz likkle bit more, mi ago tell yuh as it is.

...as a conscious big cousin to naive little cousin. Purr.

I finish the last braid and lean back, admiring my work. Nyam up that! Yan reaches up to touch the neat rows of cornrows, and a smile spreads across her face.

She hurries to the mirror to view herself, beaming. “Bap bap! This nyam!”

“Of course! Mi a pro eno,” I tease, gathering the comb and small black 'lastic bands.

“Talk truth. A you say talented,” she says, snapping a mirror selfie. “One day yuh fi start charge fi dis, eno. Not me tho, 'cause mi a bruk pocket.”

“Stay deh, a you first mi a charge,” I say, chuckling.

She mock gasps.

A mischievous smirk curls my lips. “A joke. Mi like do yuh hair fi free.”

“Aww, appreciate it. And that's why yawh mi favourite cousin...”

I nod, feeling a sense of pride. “Good. Just memba mi when yuh get big and start swim inna dollars.”

She grins.

“Make sure yuh send mi dem deh make mi post up pon mi status," I tell her, referring to the pictures she's taking.

Without breaking her attention away from the mirror, she hums.

Rolling over onto my belly, I pick up my phone and unplug it from the charger.

No notifications?

Nobody nuh miss mi?

I sigh. Mi really need a man 'cause there's no way my phone supposed to dry so!

For want of something better to do, I log into my IG and aimlessly scroll through the feed, not really interested in anything on there.

I do that for a while, while my cousin sits in the corner occupied with whatever she's doing on her own phone.

My mind momentarily strays.

That's until Yanique screams out, pulling my attention to her. My brows quirk. “A wah sweet yuh ova desso so, miss?”

“Nuh tha gyal yah mi a tek een,” she says, coming closer to me and showing me her phone screen where a girl is bawling her eyes out on Live. “Mussi say her man leff her fi another girl so she deh pon Tiktok  Live a bawl and a gwaan wid herself."

“She claim say she and the man deh fi seven years, she treat him like a king and everything. Only fi find out say fi four outta the seven years, the man woulda kill her wid bun. All get outside baby pon the gyal eno!”

“Jah know,” I say, stifling a laugh. “But why she come a bawl to strangers on the net? Dem love carry dem personal business pon social media, yussi.”

"A true," she says, scrolling again. "But mi feel it fi har, nawh lie. Man wicked, issa shame."

“Facts. But mi always say, never put your all in a nigga. These men are embarrassing. Look deh, give him king treatment when him a treat yuh like a peasant. How that feel now?”

“Aye!” She tsks. “Mi say I woulda poison him yussi...!”

“Watchya! Who? Me? And spend life inna jail house? Ova buddy? Why?”

“Deanne, imagine you inna her shoes. How yuh woulda feel? Especially fi know say the man all bring outside pickney inna the picture! Imagine how the likkle shit house full up the gyal ears a fuckry like all is well all these years. 'Cause...! She couldn't mad fi see red flags and stay!”

I scoff. “You'd be surprised the things some of these women do.”

“As yuh say: ova buddy? Over man?”

I suck my teeth. “Everybody a gwaan like dem cyaan live without a man, nowadays, like seh relationship a di end-all.”

Yanique hums then tilts her head back, looking at me sideways. “Hold up. So wha? You plan fi single forever?"

My mind drifts to Such Man...

Resisting the urge to blush, I laugh to cover it up. “No, mi nuh say that. Mi just nuh desperate like some people. Mi nah go dead fi man love mi, or if a man nuh want mi.”

Yanique snickers, shifting her legs and swatting at a mosquito. "Mi nuh say desperate, Apple, but yuh nah tell mi seh yuh nuh want somebody fi rub yuh foot when yuh tired, or tek yuh out an treat yuh to nice things. As a pretty gyal.”

I pause, phone still in hand, thinking over her words.  “Yeah, I want someone, but I’m not about to settle for any foolishness just to say I have a man.”

Yuh know wah mi mean?

“Mi want di right person...not just any and anybody just fi seh mi inna a relationship. Mi cyaan tek di mind games and bagga-bagga, girl.”

She nods, quiet for a second, which is rare for her. “Mi understand. But sometimes mi wonder if we even know who di right person is, or we just hope fi di best and ride out di stress.”

Ku poet.

Murdaaaaaaaaaa!

I smile. "Dats deep. Never know yawh Shakespeare sister?"

She laughs, as loud and carefree as ever. "Lowe mi nuh! But ano lie. Mi see enough foolishness, inna mi likkle years pon earth, fi know better. Plus, everybody, especially dem dutty man yah, a lie nowadays. How mi fi trust people? Mi cyaan even trust mi phone battery to pussyclaat."

I burst out laughing, nearly dropping the phone that's in my hand. And mi woulda bawl blood eno! "Yuh mad eno, gyal. And mi did think me mad. Yuh beat mi. How yuh fi deh yasso a compare relationship wid phone battery?”

She turns serious, tapping her phone. "No, yuh right. All mi phone battery more reliable to rahtid.”

“Yanique, come outta mi room nuh!” I throw a pillow at her. “And don't come back 'til yuh learn how fi behave!”

“Den a lie mi a tell? Look yah, one man weh mi live name O'Neil... everybody know him and everybody know him woman. The man ever deh weh she deh and likewise she. Him nuh ramp fi brag 'bout her, post up  every likkle thing she do to and fi him fi di whole world like dem happy...yet still a him same one that a slide inna mi DM fi link. Mi tired fi run him!"

“Then him nuh big man? Him a how much?”

“After mi nuh know! But mi sure him pass thirty!”

“So him nuh realize say yuh underage?”

“Then him business?” She laughs sarcastically. “A pussy the man want. Him nuh care a from who it seems. And then memba say mi kinda look bigga than mi age.”

The disgust curls my lips automatically. “Yack!”

Yanique laughs at my reaction. Then tsks. “And best believe ano him alone a try offa mi. All married man too. That's why mi say mi cyaa trust man!”

Jah Jah.

It's no secret that Yanique isn't a virgin, but I'm glad she has her head on her shoulders.

Because...jah jah!

Them man yah sick drancro stomach!

That's why mi glad mi a still virgin eno. And shhhh! Yes, I'm technically still a virgin.

Just like how dem say one pickney ano pickney, one juk ano juk.

Plus, my experience wasn't nice, so mi get a re-trial.

OK?

Good.

Moving on.

I chuckle beneath my breath at the thought.

“As yuh say that though, yuh figot yuh have a man? Wah yuh mean yuh cyaa trust man?”

“Girl, mi free, single and disengaged!”

Eeeeh, when since? “So wah'pn to Jahmar? Uno nuh deal again?”

Jahmar is this guy she has been going crazy over since I don't even remember when, but they finally got together since last year.

Yan scrunches up her face like I said the most offensive thing in the world. “Who, him? Mi done wid dat!”

I raise an eyebrow. “Since when?”

“Since him feel like him can play mi fi idiot. After mi nuh name Boo Boo the Fool!”

“Awah gwaan?” I ask, sitting up and saddling up fi she pop story gimme.

“Alright, pree this and tell mi if mi a overreact or sum'n. So, mi and him did deh pon di phone one night, two weeks ago, right? So mi a ask him weh him deh and why him sound so sketchy. The background sounded off and he was whispering on top of it. Yuh know what the bwoy look pon mi and tell mi?”

I pause, almost holding my breath, waiting for her to drop the bomb. “What?”

“Him ago tell mi seh him deh home. Like mi nuh know wah him yard sound like! Yuh know wah mi mean? Alright. So mi seh, ‘Cool, video call mi den.’ Yuh know seh di bwoy start stutter an’ hang up di phone?”

I gasp. “Watchya. Yuh serious?”

“As a judge!” Yanique shakes her head, clearly still vex about it. “Di man t'ink mi fool. Mi nuh bodda call him back after dat. And just know say we leff.”

Wow. “So yuh just done so? Nuh likkle explanation nor noth'n?”

“Yeah, mi cyaan tek di foolishness. Plus, mi nuh need him fi explain shit. Just his reaction alone told me he was with anither bitch. Listen, Apple, mi might young but mi nuh born yesterday!”

“Well, once yuh alright wid that then mi love that fi yuh,” I say, approving. “But yuh know how dem boy deh stay. Him probably did have some other girl on the side all along.”

This causes Yanique to snort. “Mi nuh care if him did have ten gyal pon di side! Make him tek dem fi fool. Not this yah big batty, stiff breast, sense inna head gyal yah.”

"Same so, mi cousin!” I beam. “And to be frank, mi glad yuh done wid dat, ‘cause mi neva really like how him did move. Too sneaky."

She leans back against the wall and sigh. “Mi cyaan bother yawh, Deanne. Mi haffi focus pon miself now. Di whole dating ting a stress mi out. Young green gyal lacka mi cyaa manage fi have grey hair already. Over book, fine. But it nuh supposed to be over man.”

“Purr!” I sass, hyping her up.

“Anyways, mi hungry. Food did leave?” She stands and I chuckle. “All this chatting cause the worm dem fi a dig out mi belly bottom.”

Shaking my head, I grin. “Yuh just gluttonous a that!”

Mimicking my expression, she goes, “Mi and mi belly a parr. Affi mek sure she good, always.”

I'm hungry too nawh lie. And tired.

“Yaggo starve today, sorry fi yuh.”

“Fi true?”

“Big and serious. Food done.”

“A lie. Stop di ramping nuh, Apple!”

“A bawl yawh cry?” I tease.

To which she rolls her eyes.

Making me laugh. “A joke. Some leff inna the pot. Mi just affi share out Ali dinner first. Then we can eat the rest.”

“Say less.”

Reaching for my phone, I stand, as she turns, and walk out the door behind her.

The day never turn out bad at all.

Only hope tomorrow nuh bother come sheg itself, oh!

°

°

°

°Tyrone's POV°

8:48 P.M.

Thank yuh Jah fi yuh guidance and protection...!

As per routine the thought pops into my head as I put my car into park before exiting and making my way up the pebbled driveway, my keys jingling as I walk.

Affi tek a moment fi bless up the big man up above, fi bring yuh go and carry yuh back in one piece, because we know how the streets move fuck-up morewhile.

My phone buzzes just as I step inside the house, and I pull it out of my pocket, seeing the WhatsApp icon highlighted in the widget on the screen.

I toss my keys on the table, phone in hand as I head to the couch, taking a seat——despite the fact that I reek of weed and I'm a bit sweaty, a mi buy mi rassclaat chair——and kicking off my shoes. The message from Tori pops up as soon as I unlock it.

Probably a pree how mi nuh text her back from earlier.

I open her text, already half-smirking.

Tori: Home safe? Or yuh still out there wilding? 👀

I shake my head with a chuckle, fingers moving quickly to reply.

ME: Safe enough. But wildin? Mi? Nah. Just a few rounds of dominoes an' hold a vibes wid di man dem. What you doin' up still tho?

I glance at the time. Minutes to Nine o'clock. Woulda reach home quicker but the bwoy Perry have man a drive up and dung like mi a run Uber...then mi did affi stop uppa Jerkie and wul a cup a soup and two piece a corn --my dinner for the night -- which further took up my time.

So...

She answers almost immediately, like she was waiting for it.

Tori: Can't sleep. Might be your fault tho. 🤭

My brows furrow at that.

ME: My fault? How that work?

Tori: IDK...I maybe was kinda thinking about you all day...

Tori: Just maybe tho. 🫣

I shake my head, biting my lip. Girl ya nuh easy eno.

ME: Maybe? So yuh not sure then?

Tori: Lol, I mean, you maybe kinda crossed my mind once or twice. That count?

I lean back, hoisting my feet up on the center table before the couch, relaxing a bit.

ME: Count fi something. I'll take it.

Tori: Good. So what else you up to other than sitting down talking to random girls? 😏

She's slick with it, but I catch the undertone. She wants to feel out who she's dealing with.

But I don't plan on making her any wiser.

ME: You're not random tho. Are you? Plus, mi nuh talk to just any and anybody, so yuh must know wah that mean.

Tori: Mhmm, good answer. So what kinda girls yuh talk to?

Tori: Just curious.

I pause, running my hand through my beard, thinking about how to word it. She's setting me up, but it is what it is.

ME: Smart ones. Funny ones. Ambitious. Someone who can keep a conversation going. Motivate me. Maybe a little trouble here an' there, but the good kind. Nuh mind a little attitude. Keep things interesting. Knows what she wants and has no problem going after it. Nuh too shy and act like she cyaa mash ants. Among other qualities. Yuzeet.

Not to mention someone who is easy on the eyes. Sexy. And know how fi fuck. Or, at least, willing to learn.

Code.

I don't add that to it though.

Instead, I read over the text before hitting send. That's the most open I've been with a girl in a long time.

Tori: Lol, the good kind of trouble? Is that a thing?

Tori: And what? You think I'm that kinda trouble?"

ME: Could be. Still trying to figure you out.

Tori: Well, I'm an open book. Unlike you who seems to love playing Mr Mysterious.

I raise an eyebrow at that. Mysterious? First mi a hear tha one deh. But I'll take it. I'm curious to know why she thinks so though.

ME: Mysterious? Why yuh say so?

Tori: I can't really explain it. You just give off that vibe.

ME: Is that a good or bad thing?

Tori: I'd say mostly good. It keeps things interesting. I like a guy who isn't easy to read.

ME: See say you're a fan of interesting things. 😏

Tori: Something like that. 😉

ME: Dig that.

Tori: Glad to know. Maybe I'll show you how interesting I can be if yuh lucky.

I smile to myself. I rate that she's bold but not over the top. Nuh feel too forced, if yuh get wah mi a say.

ME: Guess mi haffi stick around then, see what else you got.

Tori: Yuh better. I don't deal with time-wasters, you know.

There's a subtle challenge to her words, but it brings a smirk to my lips.

ME: Wah yuh classify as time-wasters?

Tori: A man who entertains you today and tomorrow he ghosts you for no reason. You know, the type who isn't sure what he wants, maybe strings you along, and expects you to stick around until he decides.

See e pree.

ME: Trust mi, man a big man. Nuh have nuh time fi that.

Tori: Also good to know. 😌

Tori: But why mi feel like yawh trouble maker deep down?

ME: Me? No sah. Mi a law abiding yute.

Tori: Bet yuh tell that to ev'ry girl who asks.

ME: A you alone me a pree rn.

Hear yawh tell the gyal bomboclaat fuckry.

Wah yuh plan fi do 'bout Schoolaz when yuh done full up her head so?

...Schoolaz a joke out the thing. When she start pree things more seriously, me'll decide how that go, yuzeet.

Tori: If you say so.

ME: Mi nuh too chat noth'n wah nuh go so. Yuzeet.

Lie yuh fuck.

Tori: So you mean to tell me that a man like you, looking how you look, doesn't have a woman? Or a few?

ME: Same so.

Tori: I find that hard to believe.

Yet yuh send on di number, so wah that mean? Nuh say yuh willing fi join the so-called que?

I tsk. Can never understand the logic.

ME: Belief kills and belief cures. But mi done tell yuh a thing.

Reaching for my lighter in my back pocket, I pull the spliff from behind my ear and light the tip, watching as the status bar tells me she's typing a reply.

Inhaling a deep drag, I let the smoke linger in my lungs a bit before releasing it through both nostrils, watching as it spirals into the air before disappearing.

I assume she's debating what to say next since she's taking so long to respond.

When it finally comes through, it's a simple: 'OK.'

I decide to change the tune with my next text since I can feel the mood change.

ME: Wah yuh up to tomorrow?

Her reply is almost immediate.

Tori: I had a date planned with the girls. But I don't know yet. Noth'n nuh really finalised yet.

ME: Is 'girls' a code word fi yuh man?

Tori: No silly. Lol. My actual girls. My sister and my best friend and hers.

ME: Oh. Ah. Never know yuh had a sister.

Tori: How would you know if this is the first I'm talking about her?

ME: Word. How many siblings yuh got?

Tori: Three. An older sister, and two younger ones.

ME: No brother?

Tori: Nah.

ME: Good.

Tori: Why is that might I ask?

ME: 'Cause mi nuh waa no man a pree mi bout him sister yuzeet.

Tori: Lol. OK sir. I hear you. Well, you don't have anything to worry about in that case, although my sisters can rival any man.

ME: Same father? If you don't mind me prying.

Tori: Yeah.

Man deh back either well good or weak yuh fuck. Depending on the aim.

ME: So that mean it inna your blood too?

Tori: I'm the sweetheart of the lot.

ME: That nuh sound too convincing, but ah.

Tori: Lol. I'm serious.

ME: And mi say 'Ah'.

Tori: OK, sir. Anyways, what about you?

ME: What about me?

Tori: Any siblings?

I go rigid. It takes me a while before I finally respond saying,

ME: Nah.

Tori: I grudge you.

ME: No worry yuhself it gets boring sometimes.

I sell the lie.

Tori: Really doubt it. 😁 But anyways, what are your plans for tomorrow?

ME: TBH mi did a plan fi have a chilled day but the man dem nah draw mi out fi go play ball. 🙄

Tori: 🤭 Where?

ME: In one of my neighbouring communities named Parkland.

Tori: Oh.

ME: Awah? Yuh waa roll wid mi?

Fuck if she say yes.

...so wah'pn to that? Maybe that will mek Such Girl come to her senses.

I chuckle below my breath at the thought.

Yuh fuck-up eno yute. Try know that...

Tori: Nah. Girls day remember.

ME: Ah.

Tori: Maybe next time.

I hum, but before I can type out a response, another text comes through.

Tori: By the way, how come yuh never tell me how the game went today? Should I be calling you Champ or Chump?

ME: Which chump? Liff up wid that. One bagga gold medal pon me eno. Champion boy yuh know the damn thing go. 😏

ME: Big man nuh lose to lilly bwoy. Yuzeet.

Tori: Love the confidence. But yuh maybe just nuh meet yuh match yet.

ME: Sounds like a challenge to me.

Tori: Maybe, maybe not.

ME: Nah man. Keep the same energy as before.

Tori: Trust me, yuh no ready fi the Tori Experience yet.

ME: Is that so? Are you saying you can beat me?

Tori: You'd be surprised.

I laugh. Someone's got jokes...

ME: Chat yawh chat, man. Bet say if mi bring out the board now yuh run.

Tori: Bet.

Quirking a brow at her reply, I take another puff from the spliff in my hand. Funny yuh fuck.

ME: Ah. Love when woman mek big chat eno. Hope you can walk the walk like how yuh talk the talk.

Tori: Lol. I'm lowkey a domino queen. Stay deh.

Awah di rass this...?

ME: Domino queen? Now, mi really affi see this. But don't say mi never warn yuh when yuh lose yuzeet.

Tori: Excuse me? Losing is not a word that's in my vocabulary, sir. Bring it. 😌

Tori: Just know I don't play for free.

ME: Eeeh? Wah yuh nawh say? What are you proposing?

Tori: If I win, you have to take me out. Deal?

I pause for a moment, liking how quickly the tone of the conversation has changed.

ME: And if I win? 🤔

Tori: What do you want 👀

ME: Better said in person.

There's a momentary pause, and I briefly wonder if I've crossed the line. But her message comes in shortly after the thought crosses my mind.

Tori: OK, Mr Champion. I see you.

ME: Ano noth'n slack mi did a medz still. 😏

Lie like bomboclaat show.

Her response is quick.

Tori: Who says I was? 😉

ME: Ah. Zeen.

Tori: 😌

ME: Alright pause the domino talk til a next time. Wah yuh up to now?

We chat for a little while longer, the conversation flowing easy, getting to know the little things, what she likes, what I'm into. She's grounded, and I respect that.

Tori: Alright, mi ago sleep now. Although I wish I didn't have to. You're not so bad to talk to.

ME: Glad mi pass the test.

Tori: Mi never say yuh pass yet. 🤭Goodnight, Tyrone.

ME: Goodnight, Tori.

Tossing the phone to the side, I stifle a yawn, feeling myself getting hungry now.

Stubing out my spliff, I place it behind my ear.

Stifling another yawn as my stomach rumbles in support, my attention drifts to the soup and corn I bought earlier still sitting on the coffee table, untouched.

Leaning forward, I grab the bag, settling back against the couch. The smell of the spicy soup hits me first, making my stomach grumble even louder.

I peel back the lid and take a sip.

Jah know, the fucking soup get cold.

My eyes drift to the microwave all the way over in the kitchen then back to the soup in my hand.

Jah know?

I briefly contemplate fucking it up cold same way, but think better of it. Cold soup nuh mek nuh sense, dawg!

Jah Jah.

Shrugging off the laziness I feel, I get up, pick up my phone and slide it back into my pocket, then make my way to the kitchen to reheat the food.

Fuck this up, hold a wash off, and come go wul a sleep.

A desso it deh fi the night. Yuzeet.

Tired yuh fuck.

My phone buzzes as I close the microwave door and set the timer.

Retrieving it from my pocket, I knit my brows at the notification at the top of the screen.

Tori: Hey

ME: Think yuh say yuh gone sleep?

Tori: Yeah. But I've been thinking... maybe we should actually play this domino game sooner than later. I'm not sure I wanna wait. 👀

I lean against the counter, listening to the hum of the microwave as the timer counts down.

Tha woman yah nuh easy eno. Instead she gawh bed like she say, a this deh pon her mind?

I chuckle under my breath, shaking my head.

ME: Sound like yuh cyaan wait fi lose, lol.

Tori: Lol, I promise, you're in for a treat. Get ready to be humbled.

ME: Big talk fi someone who nuh even reach fi the board yet. Mi ready anytime yuh ready stillz.

Tori: Okay. How about tomorrow? 👀

I pause, one eyebrow raising. Then nuh she this wah say she have plans?

ME: Tomorrow? What happen to girls day? 🤔

Tori: Lol, maybe mi can fit yuh in. Plans might shift, you may never know.

I laugh under my breath, 'cause it almost sound like she's willing fi ditch her plans fi make sure mi "get put inna mi place".

Or she just eager fi lose fi mi fix her business...

Either way, I can't say I'm mad at it.

ME: Zeen. As mi say, mi ready whenever you ready.

Tori: Cool. If yuh ready, then I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Bring the board.

ME: Dem boasty chat deh? Ah. But yuh remember the deal, right?

Tori: How could I forget? Don’t worry, I have my side all sorted out. You better know what you're getting into when I win tho. 😏

ME: Trust mi, mi know exactly what mi a get into. We ago see who ago walk away victorious.

A thought pops into my head.

ME: By the way, what's the location for this?

I won't suggest my place, because I don't want to come off too strong. Next thing she think say man have ulterior motives or some shit. So, I'll let her decide.

Tori: My place? 👀

ME: With your sisters home?

Tori: I live alone.

I smirk, at the same time that the microwave dings. Soup ready. Mad thing.

My focus drifts back to the text and my smirk deepens. Maybe this could turn out to be interesting after all.

ME: Sounds like a plan.

A fucking stellar plan at that.

Tori: Good. Anyways, mi really affi go sleep now, so bye. Rest up so yuh can take that L tomorrow. 😌

ME: Lol, good luck with that.

Only 'L' mi plan fi feature a mussi some long cocky up inna yuh rassclaat belly. Stay deh.

Pulling the food from the oven, I set it down on the countertop and sit on one of the stools.

Taking a spoonful into my mouth, I relish as the heat travels down my throat. Longtime mi nuh nyam some good food eno. Affi go link Mumzi tomorrow fi that.

Big woman t'ing.

As mi say Mumzi though...my mind drifts to a certain someone a few houses down. But I frown, quickly pushing the thought behind me.

Not now, bredda.

The night a gwaan good so far. Let's keep it that way.

Zeen.

Ah.