Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Were you worrying I’d be angry?

Perhaps….

“Ah…. Yes, of course…. I’d become used to the luxury of not having to worry about that with you.” I give her a squeeze and a kiss. “Wait there. I’ll be right back.”

I head for the gents’ lavatories a couple of floors down, reflecting on how much I have taken for granted Charlotte’s contraception. Condoms are never exactly a lover’s delight and the knowledge that the woman I love is both intelligent and careful has been leading me astray.

It’s good to have a woman who doesn’t have to take her socks off to count to twenty-eight…

Shoving a couple of coins into the slot, I pocket my goods and return to find Charlotte sitting up, hugging her knees. The bed is large and her face unusually pale even for her. She looks lost, childlike, and not for the first time I reflect on the age difference between us.

Pulling the packet from my pocket, I wave it quickly by her for reassurance before placing it on the bedside table. “There are vending machines in the public bathrooms downstairs,” I explain.

She nods, but I see the movement of her throat as she swallows. Cupping her cheek in my hand, “You are alright?”

She raises a wan smile. “Yes, Master. I’m alright. Just very tired. You don’t have to keep asking.”

I pull the sheets back. Without meaning to, my gaze slides over her body, bruised and battered. Her skin, usually so pale and perfect is blotchy with brutal hues and half-healed welts. My gorge rising, I look away.

“Actually, I do. You might try to brush off what’s happened to you, but no-one gets into that condition without paying a price for it.”

She flushes and turns away….

I’ve embarrassed her….

…. but I pull her up into my embrace, holding her close…. “Shhh….” …. feeling her relax into me.

I seek her with my lips; a soft kiss on the mouth, light as wings. Then the line of her cheek and neck, where under the skin, her pulse beats steadily. Passively, she simply lets me make love to her, her breathing growing rough as her body melts for me.

My hand over one breast, I lean in to the other. Normally white and tipped in pale rose, it is marked by a sickly rainbow of colours. I can’t bear to look at it, and let my eyelids fall closed as I teethe at the nipple.

It isn’t perfect. I want my Jade, and I know she wants me, but neither of us is yet as we should be. My body is not yet responding, and hers is slow.

I undress, stripping myself naked, my cock lying quiescent as I slide between the sheets. But I want to make love to my Jade, with her, to make things as they should be between us. I kiss her again, harder, willing my body to reply as it should. I want to be inside her, to feel her sheath vise around me as I spill into her. I stroke her, running palm and fingers over skin and muscle blemished and injured.

Only now, having her close, does it drive home how afraid I was, desperate with hope and belief, and the fear of the loss of my Love. All the while she was gone, while we were waiting, hope was kindled and dashed, rekindled….

When Pandora opened her box of all the world’s ills, she did well to leave Hope until the last.

Somehow, despair can be lived with, almost wallowed in, but Hope is a mind-killer.

I rest my forehead on hers, trying to calm my ragged heartbeat and breathing, to regain some equilibrium.

“Master? Are you alright?”

I have to say it….

…. She must understand….

“When your signal vanished, Charlotte, we thought we’d lost you. That was a hard moment. You must never, ever, do anything like that to me, to us, again.”

Her voice is clear and certain. “I won’t, Master. You have my promise. I’ve done what I had to.”

Had to?

Propping myself above her, I look down into her eyes, clear with certainty. “Had to?”

“I had to get Beth back, Master….”

Your friend….

“…. No-one else could have done it. and….”

Her mouth works….

Wondering if she can say…. what?

“And?” I push.

Eyes swimming as she looks up at me, “I couldn’t leave Richard like that. He loves her. And I owed him so much…”

It takes me a moment to digest what she just said, then the meaning filters through….

“Richard? You did all that for Richard? Not Beth?”

She’s sucking at her lips, eyelids fluttering. “Well, it was sort-of for Beth, but mainly for Richard…. I owed him.”

Oh, my God….

For Richard….

…. and that’s why she’s worrying about telling me the truth….

Keep your head….

I settle for taking a deep breath. “Charlotte, what the hell am I supposed to think when you say something like that? Do you have any other perceived ‘debts’ you feel you need to repay?”

Her eyes are wide, anxiety lurking. “No, Master. I’ve said. You have my promise. I’ll not do anything else like that. Truly.”

And whatever other issues we might have…. You don’t break faith….

Let it go….

I lean down, kiss her beautiful face. “Lie back,” I murmur.

She quivers beside me as I brush my lips across fragrant skin again, but I’m unsure whether it is arousal or apprehension.

Make it right….

“I understand that you did what you did for good reason,” I say. “Sometimes life gives us only bad choices, and you had to choose.”

“Are you still angry with me?”

“I was, but not now. I’m proud of you.”

Her eyes gloss. “Proud?”

“Yes, very proud.”

My courageous….

…. headstrong….

…. beloved….

…. reckless….

…. loyal….

…. Jade.

And now, desire quickens in me, my groin tightening as our mouths meet. But something still lurks around her eyes.

“And Michael?” she asks.

Indeed….

What about Michael?

He’s not happy….

“I’ll talk with him. He’s as pleased as I am that we have you back, more or less safe and sound, but he is still badly upset.”

“He’s very angry with me?”

Is he angry?

Usually he would discuss it with me….

“I’m not sure, but I think you can expect some hard talking from him.”

My mouth finds her breast again, my teeth and lips teasing the nipple to a puckered nub, and the thump of her heart vibrating through firm flesh. And now she responds too, her breath catching as I nibble….

My hand gliding between the vee of her thighs, I cup her sex, my palm moist and warm, then splay her.

Her head falls back as I penetrate her with wet fingers, and she reaches for me, for my shaft, now hard and ready for her.

“No. Just lie back. I’m going to get inside you now.”

I eye the foil packet on the side with distaste. I have become too accustomed to enjoying my Jade unfettered. “Always detested these things,” I comment as I roll latex over myself.

She looks abashed. “Sorry, Master.”

No, Jade, not for this….

I open my mouth over hers, make sure she knows it’s real, then, “Nothing to apologise for. Glad you thought to mention it though.”