My head swam as Kaliska dabbed my forehead with a damp towel. She'd said I had a fever, but my worsening headache was much more noticeable than the heat. The healing potion she'd given me hadn't helped with the pain or fever. At least it tasted good.
When would Mark be back? He'd been gone for hoursâor 'myriblinks,' as Kaliska said. How long did it take to collect arka? Maybe it would be all day. I wished I could focus on the book Kaliska was reading me, but my throbbing head drowned out the words.
A knock at the door sent daggers through my temples.
"How is she?" Mark asked as he moved to my side, bringing with him a strong odor of fresh steak and turkey gravy.
I forced my eyes open to see a blurry figure in dark robes. Ikaru. A startled cry escaped me as I jerked back. Wishing for the return of my freakish strength from before, I shoved him. Lightning seared my arms, giving me the strength to push him a mere arm's length away. My arm turned gray and stiff. It hit the floor and shattered into a million dull gray pieces.
"Liza!" Ikaru lunged at me.
Kaliska leaned over me to grab his wrists. "Get out."
"Kali-"
"We made it clear that you're not welcome, especially not around Liza."
He pulled back, slipping his hands from her grip. "Do you believe I'm Ikaru?" His voice was almost level, but something rumbled beneath it.
"If you weren't, Cadmus would be with you."
"He returned before I did. I didn't see him when I was riding in. Perhaps he went for a flight?" A tremble crept into his voice. "If he's out flying, searching for him will take a while. I don't believe Liza can afford to go without arka any longer." He met my gaze. "You have good reason to distrust me, but I am Mar'kost, and I'm very concerned about you." A pause. "You came here, to Vangorn, due to a spell cast by you and nine other Ortai-human hybrids at your cousin Grace's birthday partyâwhich involved a long hike and camping, neither of which you enjoy doing. Is that proof enough of my identity, or would you like me to answer specific questions?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but pain and guilt and fear tore a cry from my throat. My left arm, it was gone. Shattered. If a healing potion couldn't even fix my headache while I was made of crystage, there was no way it could grow back an arm. Maybe Mark could fix it?
"Please-" I vainly swept the shattered pieces I could reach into a pile. "-fix it? Please?" Tears flowed down my cheeks and sizzled against the pillow. Great, now I had acid tears on top of everything else.
He placed his hand over mine, stilling my useless attempts. "You shouldn't move. It appears that you spend arka to move, and when you run out, your flesh becomes brittle. You need to sleep so I can give you the arka I've collected."
"I can't." I'd tried to sleep to fend off the pain, but my mind and body refused to rest. "Make me sleep. Please."
"I don't believe that would be wise, given your current state. If you can't sleep, perhaps..." His face turned a darker blue than usual. "I rested in the dungeon, and my mind is somewhat clearer now. I've thought about your death and revival. Before I went to the dungeon, my arka reserves were nearly empty. Nine days without using magic or moving much shouldn't have drained my reserves. You must have absorbed my arka through physical touch."
Heat flared in my throat. "I- I was naked."
"That likely won't be necessary. Our dreams have always mirrored the laws of reality. Perhaps if you mimicked what you do in those, you could-"
"You kissed me?" I tried not to sound as repulsed as I felt, but I was in too much pain to act.
He drew back, tail curled around his feet. "Not exactly. I didn't maintain a bipedal form... or a mouth. However, I did touch your face."
I wasn't sure if I would describe him holding my head like an octopus as 'touching,' but at least it was better than kissing a corpse. Not that I planned to embarrass him by saying as much, because if he was correct, his octopus 'touch' had triggered my revival.
He tentatively offered a hand. "May I?"
"Yeah." I breathed through my mouth so I didn't smell him as much. At least, that was the plan. The scent of Thanksgiving only grew stronger as his hand approached my face. My mouth watered so badly that I worried I might start drooling. Hunger clawed at my gut. If he came any closer, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. "I'll bite you."
"Okay."
Kaliska grabbed his wrist before he could touch me. "If a woman tells you she'll bite you, it means you should back off."
"I have no doubt that is generally true, but Liza is a unique individual." He ducked his head. "And I believe biting will be the most efficient way to transfer arka."
"Really?" she asked me.
His hand was so close I could almost taste it. I probably looked like a drooling mess. I couldn't move my heavy hand fast enough to dry my face.
"Th-thanks, Kaliska, but could you give us a-" What was the word they used... "-kiloblink? Or Centiblink?" I swiped at my mouth. "Sorry, this is so embarrassing."
She let go of his wrist. "No, I have to apologize. I didn't realize how you two exchanged arka." She sounded like she'd walked in on us having a roll in the hay, which definitely didn't help my fever. "I'll give you some privacy." She stood and trotted out of the room.
I groaned. "I'm so gross."
"No more so than flesh-and-blood creatures." He pressed the back of his hand against my lips.
The next thing I knew, the side of his hand was between my teeth. Cold that tasted better than anything I'd ever had flooded my throat. It spread through my skull, soothing my fever. My headache faded to a dull ache, then nothing. My handsâer, handâtwinged before the cracks running through it fused into solid skin. The pain in my left shoulder disappeared, and I willed my arm to grow back. Even if it just grew a little, I would know there was hope. But there was no change besides the erasure of several large cracks.
My body felt lighter, as if I'd lost dozens of pounds in a moment. I had no doubt that I would be able to sit up unassisted if I tried. I might even be able to stand and walk without difficulty. Part of me wanted to stop for Mark's sake, but he hadn't made any pained noises. Or any noises at all, really. I glanced at his face. It was gone.
I jumped back with a shout, hitting my shoulder stump against the wall.
The door flew open. "Are you okay?" Kaliska called.
Shame coiled in my stomach. "It's fine. Everything's fine. I was just... startled."
"I'm sorry," Mark murmured. "I became distracted."
"No, it's okay." I gave Kaliska a reassuring look. "He lost his face for a second, and I freaked out. I shouldn't have. I'm just not used to this kind of thing."
"Oh... sorry for intruding." She stepped out into the hall and closed the door again.
I met Mark's gaze, partly to show that I wasn't afraid of him. Only, he didn't actually use his eyes. Could he sense where I was looking? He'd said he could sense ink on a page to read a book; surely, he could sense the movement of my eyes in their sockets.
"I'm so sorry for freaking out." I scooted closer to him.
He offered his hand. It was certainly tempting, but the smell wasn't as overwhelming as it had been minutes before. I took his hand and cringed. It was wet.
"Uh, I'm fine. I think I have enough arka now." I grabbed one of the towels Kaliska had been using and dried his hand off.
"Are you certain?" His voice was still oddly soft and unsure.
"Yeah, I'm sure." I'd hurt his feelings. Of course I had; I saw his not-face and shouted like I'd seen a ghost. "Are you okay? I- I'm not sure if this is the right way to say this, but I don't think you're ugly or scary or anything when you don't have a face. It just surprised me because I wasn't expecting it. If I'd been expecting it, it wouldn't have bothered me."
"Hmm?" He blinked lazily. "Do you believe you've offended me?"
I nodded, feeling like an idiot. "Didn't I?"
"No."
"Then why are you being weird?"
His tail twitched. "I apologize. Your bite seems to produce the same effect in the waking world as it does in dreams. It's strange; you didn't break the skin." He wiggled his fingers. A bubbling laugh escaped him. Shaking his head, he cleared his throat. "I expected you to drink my blood. I wonder why you produce so much saliva if you don't consume anything physical. You're very slobbery." He frowned. "That was rude of me. Sorry."
Heat rose in my face, but it wasn't a fever this time. "It's fine. I did slobber." I tried not to let my embarrassment show in my expression. "So, you're being weird because my telepathy is messing with you."
"Yes."
"I'm sorry."
Leaning in close, he stage whispered, "Why?"
"You said not to use telepathy on you again, and you were upset about it."
He squinted at me. "I told you not to manipulate me against my will."
"Yeah?"
"What part of me putting my hand to your mouth while you were imobile and arka-starved led you to believe that I wasn't willing to accept the telepathic side effects?"
"You only did that because you had to."
"You heard my father; my life is no longer bound to yours. I'm 'free' to do whatever I like." His slight pout only served to convince me that I was right.
"That's not true, and you know it. You're stuck taking care of me because I'm useless on my own. You're not free to do much of anything as long as I'm around."
Sighing, he placed a hand on my head. "It's like a big egg."
"Mark-" Flustered, I swatted his hand away. "Don't change the subject."
"What subject? Eggs?"
"No, not eggs. Why would I be asking about-" I shook my head. "I'm just trying to apologize for asking so much of you, for being so needy and messing with your head. Words aren't enough, but I don't know what to do to make it up to you."
"You could..." He frowned. "Ha, that's a trick question! Not a question, technically, but one was implied, so you could say that a trick question was implied. Does that mean I should or shouldn't answer it?"
"It wasn't a trick question. Seriously, if there's anything I can do for you, tell me."
He shook his head. "I need to go." He stood and headed for the door, walking straight into the bed. Waving his arms and tail in front of him, he maneuvered around the bed like he couldn't see it.
I hurried after him. "What's wrong? Can't you seeâer, sense?"
He shrugged. "I can sense, but my depth perception is limited at the moment." He bumped his hand against the door before taking the knob.
I caught his arm. "Did I do that?"
"Yes."
"I'm s-"
"Don't apologize."
"Then let me make it up to you. What were you going to say before?"
He gave me a funny look. "You can deny it, but that is a trick question."
"It's not." His meaning sunk in, and my stomach twisted. "It's something you don't want to ask me because you think it'll upset me. So... sex?"
He stiffened beneath my touch. "You can't be upset about something I didn't say."
"I'm not upset." That was a bald-faced lie, but how could I tell him the truth? It wasn't his fault that he'd had a passing sexual thought while under the pacifying influence of my powers. He was a real person, not the perfect boyfriend I'd invented in my own head. Of course he had a sex drive. It was only natural. At least, for everyone except me.
"You are upset. I can sense it."
"I thought you could only do that when I'm really upset."
He shrugged. "Your emotions are clearer now."
"Can everyone sense them?"
"I don't know."
I groaned. "I really hope they can't."
"Now who's changing the subject?" His eyes flashed. "I mean it, Liza. You don't have any right to condemn me for a passing thought I didn't voice or act upon."
"I'm not condemning you."
"The idea that I'm physically attracted to you makes you sick. How else should I interpret that besides condemnation?"
"It's not that simple." I stepped back, slipping my arm from his grasp. "I don't blame you for feeling... urges. But I can't give you what you want."
"I'm well aware of that, which is why I didn't ask and have no intention of asking in the future."
What future? Did he honestly think his future girlfriend would be okay with him spending dreams together with me? Or did he plan to keep me a secret?
He turned away from the door to face me. "To be extremely clear, I won't ask for anything in exchange for my arka. You don't owe me anything."
"But I do. I owe you a lot. You're only taking care of me because-"
"I'm not taking care of you because I expect sexual favors. I'm doing it because I care whether you live or die. It's as simple as that."
"You said you loved me."
He hesitated, frowning. "I do."
"Then it's not simple, is it? You love me because of a relationship that was based on me not having a clue you were real."
His feathers stuck straight up. "I never asked you to do anything you didn't want to." His voice was sharp, defensive.
"You knew I needed arka."
"Yes, but you didn't know that. I couldn't have used arka as a bargaining chip while you remained ignorant of its importance."
"You didn't need to bargain. Arka smells like I've found a feast after I haven't eaten in days. I couldn't resist. I still can't."
He pressed his lips into a fine line as his tail dropped to the floor. "I didn't realize it was that severe. This whole time..." He stepped back. "Is that why you're often afraid of me?"