It had been a few days after our meeting with the suppliers and it was filled with meeting after meeting, either with the whole gang or just random members, or my main friends. Some I attended, some I didn't because I'd heard it all already and sometimes I got bored halfway through and sometimes Travis grabbed my hand and led me to our room instead.
In the end, Cameron had Carlos accept Lucky's deal. A chance to cut ties for offering Scully up to them. Carlos said Lucky advised they were still going to help with the Dacostas but Cameron just rolled his eyes at that.
I gathered that his hesitation and need to have so many meetings was because Cameron couldn't patrol the entire city of Melkin himself. He had to clear it with the rest of Caseys and make sure, with the threat of cops coming soon if and when they found out about Dylan and showed up, they would be comfortable roaming the streets where they could be seen by the cops.
Cameron told everyone to get anything they wanted from the Casey house one last time and as of yesterday, ordered no one except Finn allowed to go back. That in itself worried me.
Ben got as much tech gear as he could but we still had to take a trip yesterday to get new ear pieces.
"Shall we have a moment of silence for your abandoned gear?" Travis had asked Ben, an overly sad frown on his face.
Ben punched him hard enough in the gut that Travis fell over.
Today, we were going out scouring the city for Scully.
I stepped out of the SUV's backseat, not remembering a time I'd been happier to be on Melkin gravel.
Finn stepped out of the driver's seat, laughing alongside Travis who was exiting the passenger seat. They'd played rock, paper, scissors to see who got to drive here since I'd made the mistake of saying I didn't care who drove. Now, with my legs tense from feeling like I was going to die, I cared a little.
Finn flung an arm around me as Travis threw a backpack over his own shoulder.
"So, how does it feel, little package?"
"Shaky," I answered automatically.
"What?" Both the guys asked.
I realized he probably wasn't talking about his driving. "Huh?"
"Being a temporary part of the M&M crew," Finn clarified. "M&M and Lacey. Or M&M and the Little Package. That sounds like a band."
"Maybe a bad one," Travis interrupted him, "Just M&M, she can be an M today."
I grinned, a warm feeling spreading through me.
"Speaking of bands," Finn started, looking at Travis, "I heard a song on the radio earlier. It reminded me of something you'd like."
We began walking down the road into the city. Annabeth was covering some of the city in her car and Ben and Cameron were in Ben's car together. On top of that, other Casey members were supposed to be out in cars and walking around.
"What was it?" Travis asked.
"I don't remember but it was like..." Finn proceeded to make catastrophic noises with his mouth that were supposed to pass for music.
Travis listened intently, even tilting his ear towards Finn, before shaking his head, "Never heard it."
I sighed and palmed my face with one hand. Both of the boys looked at me.
"What?" Finn asked.
"I'm just wondering when all of this," I gestured in front of me to where they were, "will be normal to me."
Travis chuckled lightly.
I tried to think of something that we could talk about instead of music, because Finn's impression of music was terribly loud and that would just cause Scully to hide if he heard us. Though, judging by his last interaction with us, I wasn't sure if he would hide or not. Regardless, I didn't think they would stay entirely quiet if I asked them to anyways.
"I was told you guys cause destruction. Should I be worried?" I said, referring back to the M&M crew.
Two matching smiles, as sweet as poison, stood in front of me.
"We're hunting, not destructing," Finn said but I eyed the backpack that Travis had on. Neither of them commented on it so I let it go for the moment.
We walked through the city, up and down random streets. There was one thing I noticed that was different about this visit compared to any other time we were in Melkin. Before, random graffiti was spray painted randomly with people's names here and there. Now, it was like the city has come alive with it. Color bled into the city with Casey tags and names I recognized and taunts for the Dacostas and Scully on surface after surface. I had to keep putting a hand on Travis or Finn as we walked to keep my balance, my eyes glued to the previously bland walls and not looking where I was going.
"When did all this happen?" I asked, staring at a giant flower painted along one all with 'DANI' coming out of the middle of it. The petals were a mix of purple, blue, pink with a bright yellow center and green leaves flowing all around it.
"Ever since Cam told everyone to go wild. We're gonna split soon. Might as well leave a mark, yeah?" Travis said.
I was about to ask what about the cops but stopped myself because my mind went back to the carving I made in the wood box during my first meeting with Cameron. Once I left, no one would know where I was even if they knew I did it. Just because Dani had her name spray painted beautifully on the wall, didn't mean she put a GPS tracker to her current location.
We turned and I saw flashy cars with their tires shredded. A set of chrome rims that looked expensive were still on one of the cars and as we passed, I peeked into the window to see the dashboard full of electronics. I knew whoever vandalized this wasn't in it for the money because they left all of the important things behind. When we got to the front, I saw that the hood had a giant frown keyed into it.
We kept walking.
'Scully, come out and play' was one message that littered the walls and sidewalks multiple times. Along with, 'Come out, come out, wherever you are, Scully'
There was a picture of a dog on one wall with a leash holding the dog back. It wasn't the best painting, but I could tell what it was supposed to be. 'We have your leash' was written under it
I couldn't help it, I found it all beautiful. Maybe it was wrong to find the taunts to Scully beautiful but Melkin had never seen so much color since I'd been here. It was always so lifeless.
And now everyone was going above and beyond because they all wanted out. The city was covered in death threats, there was a murderer on the loose, a rival gang nearby, but I'd never felt safer. Or like I was right where I needed to be. I felt like I belonged there. The city was covered in Caseys everywhere I looked that I knew I could depend on.
"Do you remember when you first drove me here?" I asked without really thinking much about it because Finn didn't really filter his words and made conversation easy, causing the words to just flow out. I wasn't worried about him glaring at me for asking something like I was around Cameron or Annabeth.
Finn's features became mischievous and he waggled his eyebrows. "I think so."
"You mean when you were kidnapped?" Travis butted in but I ignored him.
"You guys were all so..." I pursued my lips to the side to think of the word I was looking for but Travis' finger smudged my lips back to their regular position.
"Reassuring?" I suggested. "You kept saying I was safe. I didn't believe you at the time, but still...I should have."
"They kidnapped you," Travis reminded me.
Finn looked at me with confusion that morphed into slight hurt. "You were an innocent kid. We didn't want you to think we would hurt you."
His words stung but only because of the boy I met with hospital with Dylan and Josh, Andrew.
I pushed some of my hair out of my face and sighed. "The Dacostas aren't like that. I met a kid they threatened. He was terrified. He could hardly talk."
"They're rabid animals," Finn said.
Travis nodded, "You probably would've been fine if you'd stayed in the house that first night."
I tried to picture what my life would've been like now, if I hadn't darted out of the car as soon as we parked at one of their safe houses when I first got to Melkin years ago. If I hadn't run into Dacostas members. If I'd been safely returned home without a scratch on me. My mind drifted automatically to my leg, my hand rubbing over my jeans where I knew the scar was underneath.
I probably wouldn't be in contact with Travis. Would I still be living with my dad? Would I have gone to college or just taken online courses to stay in what he viewed as his safety net? My dad experienced the death of my mom and shut down. He refused to live and wanted me to quit as well. Travis saw death every day and was even more determined to push through.
"We could've gotten you back home no problem," Travis continued, "The Dacostas are bothersome, but never a threat. They were just a threat to you because you weren't from around here."
Because I was inexperienced. Because I saw blood and wanted to faint. Because I didn't know how to protect myself and refused to listen when the ones trying to protect me told me to stay. Because they could get to Travis.
"And because the Dacostas are batshit crazy," Finn added. "Sterling was crazy. They were a threat when his dad was around but he died and Sterling took over but he shot his own members. And people still stayed with him because they're even more sociopathical than he is."
"Is that a word?" Travis asked, hooking one of his fingers around my pinkie and holding it.
"I don't know," Finn pushed the words out of his mouth with force directed solely at Travis. "You're the one that went to school."
"You didn't go to school?" I asked.
Finn shrugged, "Some."
They kept saying the Dacostas weren't a real threat to them. I used to think that it was the Dacostas that kept them here but coming back this second time, everyone just made it sound like the Dacostas were a swarm of gnats. Annoying. Pests. Something to swat at. The fact that they were only a threat to me at the time because I was being targeted which caused the Caseys to deal with this pest in their house hadn't occurred to me.
"The suppliers, they're the threat," I looked at both of them.
"Yes," both of the guys said in unison.
I bit my lip as we continued to look around for Scully.
We heard the roaring of a vehicle up in front of us and we all quieted down to listen for what direction it was coming. We crossed the road, not bothering to press the intersection button because there was no one else even on the roads and half of the crosswalk signs for pedestrians in this city didn't even work anymore.
Up ahead, a sleek, matte black car turned the corner. Noise filled the street all at once, and it was coming entirely from the Annabeth's car's engine as it accelerated down the street in our direction.
Another car turned the corner trailing after her. It sounded like someone turned the dial down on Annabeth's monster and I wondered if she was slowing down for the car because it was catching up to her. It didn't look like the second car was planning on slowing down at all. I wondered if their game plan was to just smash into Annabeth's rear end.
Her car electrified the air as she punched the gas again, getting out of the second car's range. A third car that was much quieter but going just as fast, turned and started to follow the second but this one I recognized as Ben's car..
Annabeth sped past us with the mystery second car trying in vain to get close enough to hit her.
"Oh look," Finn held his hand out as Annabeth blew by. He had a manic grin on his face and looked like he was presenting a prize as he continued, "Dacostas are chasing my future fiancée."
I started to laugh but then shook my head. "What?"
"I thought it was supposed to be a secret." Travis said, glancing at me for a moment. The glance said everything his mouth hadn't.
Finn was ignoring us, though as he watched the three cars. I noticed another car had joined them but it didn't look like it was out to get Ben or Annabeth.
Still, Finn took out one of the radio walkie talkies that they used back when I was with the suppliers. He pressed a button on it before they were out of range. "What are you guys doing?"
"Go away, Finn," Annabeth's voice came through the static so strongly I could picture her glare. Loud music filled the background and I wondered how she could concentrate on driving with it playing. "I'm busy."
"I didn't tell you to answer, woman!" he responded.
"We're playing," Cameron said through the walkie talkie in a much more controlled voice than Annabeth's had been. "What are you doing?"
"Uh, our jobs, maybe you should try it," Finn said and then put the walkie talkie back in one of his pockets. Whatever he heard in Cam's answer or voice must have been enough not to feel the need to help out. That was fine with me because fiancée?
"What did you say?"
Finn stuck his tongue out at me and kept walking.
"I think this is good." He stood in front of a blank brick building, pointed to it. His other hand out held out towards Travis and I suddenly had a very good idea of what was in his backpack. Travis ignored Finn and instead, kneeled down and unzipped the backpack.
"I haven't done it yet or anything." Finn announced, finally answering me.
"Did you know about this? You didn't tell me?" I turned on Travis. "Why do you think I can't keep a secret? Finn and I have plenty of secrets and I haven't spilled those."
Okay, we didn't have many secrets. We didn't have time for many secrets. But we had talks. A few talks. And I didn't go blabbing about them to everyone. I still hadn't told anyone I even knew about Cameron's brother.
Travis had pulled out an orange spray paint can and was shaking it up but paused to look up at me.
"You do?" Travis asked, but hair voice was equal parts unsure and disbelieving.
Finn lightly took some of my hair in his hand, threading this fingers through it a few times before he held the limp strands up above his upper lip, creating a blonde mustache.
"That we do, old sport," he said and I chuckled.
"Prove it," Travis snapped, going back to shaking the can.
"Tone," Finn advised offhandedly and I wasn't even sure Travis heard because he just kept talking.
"When would you even have time to share secrets? What secrets would you even share? Tell me," Travis said, but the bite from this voice was gone. I didn't think that he was jealous, but it sounded like he genuinely didn't want to be left out.
I turned to Finn, ignoring Travis. "You're going to propose to Annabeth?"
He nodded, "You think she'll say yes?"
I opened my mouth to answer and hesitated because really, I wanted to say it depended on what kind of mood she was in but that didn't seem polite enough to say. Travis read my hesitation for what it was.
"She thinks you fight too much," he summarized for me. Which wasn't exactly what I had been thinking but it was close enough and more or less correct.
Finn laughed.
Travis gave Finn the orange spray paint and started shaking a red one next.
"I think you have to fight. If you don't fight sometimes, someone's secretly angry and plotting your murder every time you fall asleep. Do you guys fight?" Finn asked casually but then corrected himself, "I don't know if you're around each other enough yet for it to be a thing. You probably haven't had enough time to get annoyed and stuff."
Travis looked at me.
"We fight," I said.
Finn snorted, "What? Quietly? I never hear you."
"It's not often or at the house," I said, trying to think of the few times that Travis and I have fought. I didn't really think what Finn was saying was true. I thought we'd definitely spent enough time with each other to know each other. Maybe I didn't know every one of Travis' favorite things and all his habits and quirks to the point of annoyance, but I knew the things that mattered. Trust. Loyalty. His determination. I had his love. I knew what his eyes looked like when they were filled with passion. I knew what haunted him. I knew how loud the silence could be after the images his mind made up jolted him awake at night and he couldn't speak. I knew how desperate could get. I knew how hard he cared for things.
After the meeting with the suppliers, when we were fooling around in our room and he was whispering again and again that he loved me with such sincerity,, I couldn't take it. I thought I was going to fall apart right there in front of him. I managed to hold it in until after. I'd never felt so right before. So happy. I couldn't contain it and it just poured out of me, quite literally.
"Yeah, usually it's on the side of a road and she's about to leave me," Travis finished for me, recognizing the few times that we did have pretty big fights. I wanted to curse him to hell when he left me for the cops to pick up on a dirt road when I was here for the first time and I wanted to curse him to hell when he took me to the hotel for our date to avoid Elle without consulting me.
"So you get it," Finn concluded, like that meant we understood him and Annabeth perfectly.
I looked over at Travis, who caught my eye and he looked like he was trying not to laugh at the fact that we did not get it. He set the red spray paint down on the sidewalk and pulled out two cans: one pink, one black.
"Which one do you want?"
"Pink," I answered.
He started shaking that up and pulled out three bandanas, tossing one to each of us.
"You don't want to breath it in. You should probably take off your jacket if you want to keep it looking nice," Travis explained.
But I left the jacket on because I wanted to wear it down and have it as worn in as Travis' old one that was still in our room.
Travis uncapped the pink paint and handed it to me. I saw Finn was holding the bandana up to his mouth and was starting to spray so I watched.
"We fight and it helps her blow off some steam. She's not always angry. She's usually pretty chill if she has a book," Finn said with a shrug.
It was his wording that had me looking at it differently, his use of the word helps.
"Do you fight with her on purpose?"
Finn only grinned at me, lowering his bandana.
Travis got up off the ground and went to stand next to the wall. "You have a death wish. Between her and Cam, I don't know how one of them hasn't thrown you off a cliff yet. They both have the patience the size of my pinky."
"Which would you rather fight?" Finn asked, sounding curious but focusing back on his spray paint.
"Cam. I'd take three fights with Cam where he'll hand me my ass each time over one with Annabeth."
Finn didn't say anything and we spray painted in silence. I watched as Finn finished spraying 'murray' on the wall in orange paint. It looked like he held the paint in the same place for too long because it was dripping down in some spots. Above the 'y' he'd placed two dots side by side making the top half of the 'y' look like a smiley face. Except one of the eyes was dripping, as well.
"Do your name," Travis instructed. "Any way you want."
He was working on the last part of his surname. The 'M' in Miller was just a bunch of jagged marks on the top and bottom, looking more like a monster's mouth. He was writing out the rest of his name in capital letters next to the teeth-like M.
Hesitantly, I pressed the button on the spray paint and wrote out 'Carson' in pink, cursive, spray paint. A few of the spots were dripping but it wasn't intentional like Finn's had been.
"Do something else," Travis said.
I looked at him with confusion, wondering if he didn't like what I did.
Finn pointed to his makeshift smiley face. "So when we tag things in a hurry you can just make that image. Like my 'y' or his 'M'," Finn explained.
"Uh," I drew out, staring at my name like I'd never seen it before. Maybe it was because we were just talking about Annabeth or because I was using pink and she was on my mind, but I thought of her and the countless Barbie and princess names she called me. I thought about Dylan and how many times he mockingly called me special. I raised the spray paint and made a miniature, three-pronged crown over my 'C' with one continuous line.
"Perfect," Travis said.
We left the area but didn't put the cans away. We walked for awhile, turning down random roads and I didn't know if they were looking for new places to graffiti or for Scully. I didn't see Scully. They stopped at a blank wall, though.
Finn immediately started spraying 'Sullivan Taylor is a chickenshit' on the sidewalk, making a happy face out of the 'y' in Scully's last name. I tried not to let his silence get to me. The two guys were both very talkative on their own, and together even more so but Finn's silence was unnerving.
I watched as Travis spray painted 'COME FIND US' on the wall, each word on top of the other and he spray painted the monster-looking teeth he used as his 'M' around all of it.
"You don't have to do anything if you don't want to," Travis told me.
I bit my lip as I tried to think of something to write and then found a spot on the wall to work on it. After I was done, I put a small crown over the last 's' in the sentence. Travis, who was watching me the entire time, stood next to me.
"'He ran into my knife ten times'?" Travis read what I wrote out loud.
"It's from a Musical, Chicago," I told him, looking at the words I permanently put on the wall.
"I didn't know you liked musicals."
"Someone in my therapy class liked musicals and suggested it," I told him, staring at him. The someone in particular had been his step-brother, Nate. Travis' mother remarried and Nate was around the same age as us. But I wasn't sure how often he spoke to his step-brother after he left living with his mother to come back to Melkin. I knew they spoke a bit in the beginning, only because I asked Nate in the vaguest of ways every now and then how his family was doing when we first met. We had a group chat on our phones from everyone in the therapy class where we could text each other if something bad happened or we needed someone to lend and ear or meet for coffee. I wasn't super active in those but during the three years that I was away from Melkin, my eyes were glued to Nate's messages in case there was any distressing messages about his brother. Luckily, there never was.
"Who?" Travis asked casually.
"I'm not supposed to talk about it."
"Ah," he nodded, stepping away from me. "I know someone who's into that stuff too. Maybe they'd be friends." He winked at me and I knew from that alone that he knew I was talking about his brother.
"Wait," I ran after him, "Did you know I was in his class?"
Travis grinned and I stopped walking for a moment. I looked down at my feet, trying to make sense of it in my head. But Finn was with us, still staying silent and I didn't know if that was why Travis was being vague or he was just trying to be annoying. Either way, I made a note to figure out when he knew I was in his brother's therapy class. Actually, now that I was thinking about it, he mentioned knowing I was in an apartment too. So I should probably figure out how much he knew about my life while I was gone. And I should probably cancel my apartment lease at some point...
We walked along the road.
In another section, Finn spray painted a picture of two stick figures getting it on, Travis wrote out 'DACOSTAS CAN CHOKE' in his monster's mouth, and I found a spot for 'He had it coming' from the same song as earlier, putting a crown over the 'g'.
When we were walking down the road, with still no signs of Scully, Finn finally spoke.
"It's like this," he said and held his hands in front of him, palms facing the sky. His spray paint was shoved into the pocket of one of his cargo pant pockets, half in and half out. "Something bad happened to them both when they were younger."
"Who?" I asked.
"Cam and Annabeth. We were talking about their patience," Finn explained. I realized that was the last time he'd been part of the conversation.
I looked at Travis to see if he knew about whatever Finn was about to say but he shrugged before grabbing my hand in his.
Finn continued, "Cameron was about to be the new leader of the Caseys and he had to be respected and make smart decisions but his world kinda ended and he just took a big gasp in." Finn demonstrated by doing so himself and stood straighter with one hand in his chest and his voice slightly constricted from the intake of air he was holding, "He had to think, and plan, and couldn't afford to be angry. Was responsible for keeping people safe and alive. He's been holding that breath in ever since."
Finn let out a giant woosh of air on and held out his other hand. "Annabeth wasn't the head of the gang, not really. I remember her yelling and screaming at everyone 'cause she could until she ran out of air." Opposite from earlier he hunched his back and raised his shoulders up to his ears like he was ready to pounce on someone. "All the anger Cam couldn't show, Annabeth let out. Hasn't had a chance to stop and take a breath to calm down."
I bit my lip, wondering how exact Finn's words were. He wasn't much of a metaphor guy and he said he annoyed her on purpose to give her something to help her cool off with earlier. Was it just common knowledge to everyone except me that Annabeth was angry as a reflex this whole time? Were Cameron and Annabeth just waiting for the chance to relax? To breathe? I looked to Travis but he shrugged.
"Is that why you picked Cameron to fight if you had to pick? He wouldn't be as angry?" I asked, just for confirmation.
"No," Travis said and seemed to weigh his next words before speaking, "She knows all my weak spots."
Finn laughed, his demonstration finished, and hopped around behind us to the other side of Travis. He poked him somewhere near his ribs, where I was pretty sure there was a scar. I think it was the gunshot that Travis mentioned was his first one. It must have been that spot or somewhere similar because he tensed, squeezing my hand for a moment like he was pained before he let my hand go and started trying to slap Finn.
"Baby," Finn kept ducking out of his way.
"Dickhead."
This behavior was much more familiar to me than deep story time about Cameron and Annabeth, even though Finn hadn't even said that much. But I couldn't help but wonder how much they kept under their surfaces. And on top of that, how much Finn knew.
"So you're really going to propose to her?" I asked when Travis stopped slapping Finn.
Finn grinned, "Hell yeah. Eventually, the timing has to be right. Don't tell her, little one."
"You're the one that's bad at secrets," I pointed out.
He didn't have a chance to respond because a group of people were walking down the street and I wondered, based on how casual they were, if we were in Dacosta territory or near to it. I put my hand in my pocket, where my knife was but Travis grabbed my elbow, holding me in place before I could pull my hand back out.
I looked up at him but he seemed to look relaxed, despite the fact that four guys and a girl were walking up to us.
They stopped when they saw us and stared.
The only noise that came was the clanking of Finn's orange spray paint bottle as he shook it up and down, stepping in front of Travis and I. There was a dangerous look on his face that seemed out of place to the Finn that I knew and loved.
"Hot day," Finn said, pulling out a lighter from one of his many pockets. He held it in front of the spray paint bottle and then there was a stream of fire pouring out of it into the air.
The Dacostas backed up, bumping into each other in their rush to avoid Finn's spray paint fire.
He stopped the flame and took a hard step in their direction. Three of them turned and headed back where they came from. Two of them lingered and Finn sprayed fire in their direction again.
"Fuck," one yelled, smacking his arm. He wasn't on fire but he must've felt the heat. And then they were turning around, joining the other two.
"You just got five Dacostas to leave you alone without touching them," I stated and realized I'd never really seen Finn during any of the fighting since he was off doing his own thing. But I'd seen him when Josh fainted. Finn had just gotten out of the car and that was enough to send the Dacosta running away, without Finn touching him or a weapon.
He turned on his heel, a silly grin on his face.
"People grow up being afraid of fire. They've got alarms in their houses to warn them of it. Fire can't be controlled, it scares them, turns them into children," Finn said. "You can do a lot if you know what people are afraid of."
Travis let go of my arm and walked up to Finn, holding his hand out, palm up.
Finn held his hand out to Travis with a laugh and Travis inspected his fingers, touching the tips.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Seeing if they're burned. I can't do that without my hands getting hot," Travis answered, dropping Finn's hand with a groan.
Travis started shaking his red spray can and grabbed a lighter from his own pocket.
Finn tsked. "You're going to burn your hand, kiddo."
Travis glared.
"Why do you need to do that?" I asked Travis, who had been slowly trying to touch the flame of a lighter for weeks now. I didn't understand it if he didn't even use fire like Finn did. He didn't need to put his hand in a lighter's flame go shoot a gun.
"Because I can do it and he wants to be like me," Finn stated with such confidence and it was the fact that Travis didn't refute it that had me cock my head to the side in observation. Finn continued, waving a hand over his shoulder like he was all that, "I'm a fantastic role model if you weren't aware."
Travis ignited the spray paint flame but stopped two second later, shaking out his hand that was holding the lighter, like it was hot.
"I hate you," he hissed at Finn.
"Mmm, sure," Finn said, patting Travis on the cheek condescendingly as he walked down the road.
"Please stop trying to burn your fingers off," I told him.
Travis just grunted a non committal response as we followed after Finn.
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Hope you liked it! Vote, comment, tell your friends and have a great rest of your day! If you didn't know: Nate (Travis' step-brother) has his own story that starts in SPARKED and continues in STUNG. So feel free to check that out if you want more!
The song Lacey is spray painting from is Cell Block Tango, by the way. <3