October
Despite desperately trying to stop myself from messaging Josh, I only lasted until lunch on Monday. Tilting my phone away from Liv, I sent him a message on Insta.
Hey.
I watched Josh across the cafeteria. His friend from the soccer team, a senior named David, was talking to Josh. I couldn't hear them from where I sat, so I made up an incredibly straight, imaginary conversation between them in my head that went something like this:
David: "Dude, bro, broski. Who you taking to hoco?"
Josh: "I'm not going. I'm way too mysterious and brooding to go to a stupid dance."
David: "Tight. You're so cool, Josh. You're the G.O.A.T."
Josh: "Whatever, bro. Let me be dark and cryptic in peace."
David: "For sure, homie. I'll justâ"
Josh suddenly looked up at me, pulling me from my ridiculous daydream. He had his phone in his hands.
My phone buzzed with a message from him: Stop.
I replied immediately, my face burning: Why? We can't even be friends?
His response: It's not a good idea.
"Who are you messaging?" Liv asked me.
I quickly set my phone down on the table, screen side down. "No one. Just looking at Insta."
I looked up to sneak a look at Josh again, but he was gone.
***
After school, Jake asked Liv to homecoming. I had to give props to the guy; he did a pretty good if unoriginal job.
Jake's poster said, "There have been Stranger Things than us going to homecoming together." He then handed her a box of Eggos with a piece of paper taped to it that said, "Hoco?"
Liv glanced over at me during the whole thing and I smiled encouragingly at her. She'd asked if I was still going to Isaac's party after the dance, and I didn't give a definite answer.
Liv, of course, said yes to Jake.
Over the next few days, all of my friends began nailing down their homecoming plans: who they were going with, what they were wearing, where they were taking photos, who was driving with who, and, of course, designating a sober driver to get everyone home after the party at Isaac's.
Lydia volunteered for the job of DD. Her parents were way too strict for her to get away with any drinking, plus her family had a big enough SUV to fit a decent amount of people.
Everyone obviously lied to their parents about their plans after homecoming, saying they were going to hangout at someone else's house. I had to assume that at least some of the people who attended Isaac's parties got in trouble with their parents, judging by how drunk many of them would get. My parents in general trusted me way too much, so they assumed their perfect child would never go to a party where underage drinking took place.
In the end, I decided I probably wouldn't go to Isaac's party. So while my friends made plans for Saturday, I just sat silently and listened. (And maybe daydreamed about an alternate reality.)
By the time Saturday came, I was pretty sick of hearing about homecoming.
Liv texted me photos of her in a black dress. Our school had a very strict dress code even for dances (mainly for the girls because, you know, misogyny), so her dress went almost down to her knees. Still, she looked very pretty.
I texted her, Have fun! and she responded, Wish you were coming, nerd.
That evening while my friends were out having fun, I binged-watched TV shows and cyber stalked Josh, who really needed to step up his social media game.
At about 10 PM, Liv texted me and told me they were all heading to Isaac's and that Lydia could pick me up on the way if I wanted to go.
No, that's okay, I texted back. I think I'm just gonna stay in.
About an hour later, as I was watching Liv's private Snapchat stories of the party, I noticed Josh in the background with some of the guys from the soccer team. He wasn't sporting homecoming attire, but rather jeans, a t-shirt, a backwards baseball cap, and he was holding a red Solo cup.
And that was basically all it took for me to go to the party. Pathetic, I know, especially after Josh explicitly told me he didn't even want to be friends.
I changed out of my sweatpants and into a pair of jeans and a Nike hoodie. I went downstairs to the living room where my parents were watching TV. "Hey, can I go over to Liv's? Some of my friends are there hanging out 'cause the dance just got done."
"Sure," my mom said, "but be home by midnight."
"Mom, it's already almost 10:30. Can't I stay 'til like one? It's just Liv and our friends."
My parents exchanged a look and then my dad said, "12:30. But even a minute later and you're grounded."
"I'm almost 18, you know," I said while texting Liv I was going to Isaac's.
"But you live in our house," my mom said in a tone that implied I was stepping into dangerous territory.
"Bye, love you!" I yelled to them as I practically sprinted outside to my car.
Isaac's house was a couple minutes outside of town, about a 15 minute drive from my house, which was perfect for avoiding noise complaints from neighbors. I parked my car out front and texted Liv I was there.
She met me at the front door. "Oh my god, Connor!" she screeched, pulling me into a hug. "I'm sooo glad you came!" She was holding a cup of what seemed to be lemonade and vodka, and she was clearly past the point of just being tipsy.
"How was the dance?" I asked as she ushered me inside. I looked around at all of the inebriated teenagers, probably about 30 of them, talking and playing drinking games.
"It was really fun!" She had to almost shout so I could hear her over the music. "I missed you as my date, though!" Liv grabbed my arm and pulled me into the living room where our friends were hanging out. I scanned the house as we walked, discreetly looking for a sign of Josh.
"Look who decided to show up," Jake greeted me from the couch. "You want a drink?"
"Nah, I gotta drive myself home," I replied, waving him off.
"Lame."
After grabbing a cup of water and denying a little bit of peer pressure from my friends, I sat down on the sectional couch with Jake, Liv, Lydia, Sophia, and Ben. Ben was Lydia's date to homecoming. All of them were drunk except for Lydia and me.
Lydia leaned over to me and said quietly, "They're so messy." She laughed.
"Yeah, looks like it," I replied. They were currently trying to get a few others to join in on playing a drinking game.
A few others were mingling around the living room, easy prey for Liv and Jake to rope into playing. I heard Jake goading some of the football players, calling them pussies and such for not playing. His juvenile technique actually convinced a few of them to join.
Liv, with her bubbly personality that was only exacerbated by the alcohol, easily recruited a few people.
"Dude, are you drinking straight vodka?" Ben asked me in a slurred voice, leaning over Lydia to get a look into my cup.
"Yeah, it tastes really good," I told him as Lydia giggled. I held out my cup towards him. "Want some?"
Ben hesitated before grabbing my cup. He braced himself and then took a sip. "Dude, I must be fucked up right now 'cause this tastes like water."
Lydia burst out laughing as I took my cup back from him. I took a drink, then fake grimaced. "It's smooth, but definitely doesn't taste like water to me."
After a group, including our host, Isaac, had gathered in the living room, Liv announced, "Okay, we're playing Truth or Drink! It's like truth or dare, but without the dare part. Choose someone to ask a personal question, and if they refuse to answer it, they take a drink. Then that person chooses someone else to ask a question and so on. Who wants to go first?"
Jake's hand shot up. "I got this one." He narrowed his eyes, saying, "Hmm..." as though in thought, looking at each person before settling on me. Fucking of course. "Connor, who do you like?"
I quickly answered, "No one," and everyone started booing me.
"That's such a boring answer!" Sophia complained, and others nodded in agreement.
"Wait, let me rephrase," Jake said. As he was thinking of a different question, I noticed Josh walking into the living room with a few other people, a couple of them from the soccer team.
"Who would you want to date most out of the people in this room?" Jake asked.
Honestly, it felt like some divine power had set this whole thing up for their own amusement. I felt Josh's eyes on me as I took a sip of water from my cup in lieu of answering.
I knew that my face was very red at that point. Everyone made noises like oooooh! and joked that I definitely liked one of the girls here. They probably assumed it was Liv.
If only they knew...