Chapter 58: chapter 58

My heart shattered and broke into so many pieces. No! This can't be true, "Doc...what are you saying? This should not happen, please do something".She shook her head defeated, "I'm so sorry, Ana. I know this is hard to intake".I kept my hands on my tummy. Sweet pea! When did you leave your Mom and Dad? Are we not worthy of you? I looked at Chris, he was so disappointed beyond the limits. He was on the edge of crying. He was overjoyed than me. He started to buy toys, shoes, clothes and chose names for the baby. He looked after me like a queen and cared for me like a fragile material. I can't even imagine how much he is devastated.The doctor continued, "But this doesn't mean, you can't have a baby. I mean, there is a 10% of chance for you guys to conceive naturally, or else we can go for surrogacy or...or artificial insemination. So, don't lose hope. You can try after a month and let's see what happens. For now, I'll prescribe your some medications for Ana"."Sure" Chris replied in a dull voice."Doc, one question?" I asked her.She looked at me, "If I have taken the treatment for my cramps, this baby would have survived?""Ana, don't try to...""Doctor, please! The answer" I pressed her.She lowered her head, "Yes...yes...it will...but don't try to take to the blame on you..."That's all I heard. After that, I've only heard ringing sounds in my ears. My stubbornness is the reason this baby is out of the world. Chris begged me many times to consult a doctor for this, but I didn't. Because I'm too scared that he'll interrupt in my life again and it happened. He once again ruined my life, fucking Peter Collins! He won once again and I lost.On our way back to our home, we didn't speak anything to each other. So silent that you can hear a sound of a pin dropping from the air and reaching the ground with a clanging sound. We were both occupied in our thoughts.How did I mess this up? We were so happy for two years. Chris, he loved me more than anything in the world. We became best friends before we became husband and wife. He was proud of me and supported my career.Jason transferred everything to me and the magazine became successful. I and Jamie won several awards for that.Chris, he is happy with his career. He loved teaching Piano to children, being a tutor in college, and supervising his coffee shop. Eventually, photographers stalking him lowered and he became very happy about that. Whenever people saw him on the street, instead of falling on him, they wished him like a normal person.A year before, we decided to have a child. I still remember the day we decided. That was a Sunday evening, I came back from a meeting.Chris was hiding behind the couch, raised up in his knees from time to time, and gave his sneaky looks towards the living room. I went near him.He pulled me down, "Hey! When did you come?" He kissed me and hissed."Just now and why are you hiding?""Ssh..." He placed fingers on my lips, "I'm playing hide and seek"."With who?""I found you" a two-year-old boy shouted at us and giggled."Oh! Buddy!" Chris stood up and kissed his cheeks, "Now, it's your turn. Go...Go...Go...and hide"."Okay," he ran inside the kitchen."Who is this?""Oh! He is Eric, our next-door neighbor's son. His mother went to pick up the elder one from school. So, she asked me to babysit for a few hours"."And you are playing hide and seek with him?" I crossed my arms."Yup" he gleed."Uncle Chris! I'm ready!" Eric shouted in his childish voice."I need to find him, bye".I sighed. Omg! When is he gonna stop this man-child behavior? But when time passed, I took back that words. He looked so cute with that boy. They were rolling on the floor like a child, playing peek-a-bo, piano, and every child games I've known. Eric didn't stop smiling not even for a second with him. Finally, when his mother came back he left with her half-heartedly.Once he left, he came to me and wrapped his arms around my waist from the back "I'm so sorry, if I didn't notice you"."No...No..." I turned to look at him, "I loved it"."Really?""Yeah, actually I'm sorry for mocking your man-child behavior. One of us should have that quality"."Are you for real?" He got surprised."Mm-hmm" I kissed his lips, "I mean it's good for our baby"."Baby?" He got confused.I twirled the button of his t-shirt, "Seeing you with Eric, I thought this man should have a baby. So, what do you say?" I looked into his eyes.He touched the back of my palm, "Are you sure? Because Chris always wanted to be a Daddy. I've been thinking about this for a few months and waiting for the perfect moment to open this topic to you, but you are busy with your work. So, I thought let's rest it for a few more years...""Few more years?" I interrupted, "No, I was waiting for you to ask it. I'm ready to start our family"."Then if it is okay if we start now?" He winked."On one condition, I want a little version of you".Present,  I came back to sense when he touched my hands, "Ana, we're home" he hissed.I wiped my tears away and we headed to our apartment. I sat on Our bed, little and Roger were excited to see us. Chris distracted them and let them out in the deck.He bought me a glass of water and placed it near me. We didn't speak again for a few minutes. He sighed and sat near me, "Ana, you need anything?" He asked me caringly.That's it! I broke into tears. He brought me into his chest and rubbed my back to soothe me. I wetted his shirt with my tears.After letting out all my emotions, I placed my head on his shoulders. He gently patted my hand."Chris?" I called him in a clogged voice."What?" He interlocked my fingers with him."Are you gonna leave me?"He raised my head from his shoulders and made me look at him cupping my cheeks, "How can you think that?""Because...Because...I...I messed it up. I ruined the chance of us having a family. I should have listened to you. I...I...was too proud to admit that I'm in pain. Now, our child paid for it. I'm so sorry Chris...so sorry. I love you, please don't leave me. If you did, I don't know what I'll do in my life. Probably staring at the empty wall till the end of my life" I begged him."Ana...Ana...ssh...ssh..." He wiped away tears fell on my face with his thumb, "No...No...I'm not leaving you. Do you remember the promise I made at our wedding? To stick together in challenges. How can you think that I'll leave you when we are in a bad phase? It's a selfish decision. We overcame many things like that we can overcome this too. Trust me, we are gonna have a baby and I won't give you up for this. Even if we couldn't do that, you are enough for me. I love you" he kissed my forehead, "Tell me, you would leave me if I had or did the same thing?""No...No...not even a chance in a hell"."Then, how can I?""Omg! Omg! Thank you...thank you so much" I buried my face in his chest."I love you" he kissed my head deeply."I love you too...I love you too".After a minute of regaining myself, I told him, "He won this time too. He never stopped interrupting my life"."No, this time you are not going to fail. We are going to have a baby and we are going to win him" he assured me.We again tried for a year, but still, the result is the same.