Chapter 19: chapter 19

  I searched for a reaction from him, he didn't give any. He was processing the information. My mind warned me to back off, saying he is not interested. But I don't care, I can't take any more of this burden. I need to let out this to someone who'll understand this and I'm sure Chris is one of them.I turned to his side and continued in a broken voice, "If you are wondering who Collin is, I think you won't cause everyone in America know his name, Peter Collins, Head of 'Daily New York' magazine. He...he...is...my...father" I swallowed bile before saying that word.He started that magazine before I was born. Still, he is ruling the media like a king. His worth is not less than any A-list celebrities."You may also wonder, why I live in a cheap apartment and own a silly Magazine even though I have a father who owns America like his Playground" I took a breath ensuring I'm safe and closed my eyes. Okay! Here it comes."I...I...don't know when he started. My assumption is when I was 6. But at the age of 8, I know what he is doing to me" I gulped my tears down, "He...He...every night...he'll come to my room with a devil smile. I'll try to hide under my bed. But he'll find me and pull me outside and will start to do terrible things...below...my waist...I...I'll beg him to stop, but he'll convince me saying that he loves me and do this only out of love" Goosebumps ran over my body seeing that mental images back. I opened my eyes.Now Chris's face showed complete shock like he was unexpecting this from me. He ran his eyes over me in shock. I continued, "Sometimes, I'll try to scream. But, you know what he used to threaten me?" I let out a laugh in shame, "He'll close my mouth tightly with his hands and blackmail me in a nerve chilling voice that he'll stop my schooling, which is the only happy place for me and take away my toys, which are the only things hears me talking. So, I'll keep quiet accepting his so-called love for me" Tears rolled out of my eyes, I tried to fight back but I failed.He bought his fingers towards my cheeks and wiped it away, "What...What...about your...Mother? She...she...didn't or you didn't tell her anything?""Grace Collins, she is the main reason for his behaviour. I hate to call her my Mother" I sighed, "She...She married him only for money. All she cared about was her status and her beauty. She thought having intercourse will ruin her beauty. So, she never allowed him to touch her. I know this from him. After he finishes, he'll reply wiping sweat from his face 'Your Mother doesn't love this...that's why I got you, darling...You look exactly like her' after that he'll kiss me with that ugly mouth" I again contained my bile, "Even...she...she didn't give birth to me, reasoning it'll affect her shape. I was born from a surrogate mother" I again cried.He touched my hands, ensuring he is here, "How...How...did...this...came to an end?""This continued until I was 11. Grace, she won't even listen to my words. She'll be busy with her stuff. Only once my nanny found this and warned him. Do you know what she did to her? He threw her into jail, accusing her of theft. Then...she never came back to me".I took a breath and continued, "He became more Carefree and rigorous after that. It's his empire, no one is there to question him. He completely became the devil with me. He didn't even try to lock the door of my room. I thought I'm gonna die one day. That's when my Grandfather came"."My Grandfather, Thomas Collins. He was angry with him for a long time cause he left my Grandma on death bed not even cared to pay money for her operation. They reconciled only a day before I can turn 12"."As usual, he forgot to lock the door that night. He did all the worst stuff with me saying it's my birthday gift from him. Grandpa came inside to wish me at midnight. He saw what he was doing to me. At first, he was shocked and he got angry. Beaten him, cursed him. Hearing the chaotics happening in my room, Grace came there. Grandpa explained what he's doing to me. She...She..." My voice became more broken, "She accused that I seduced him to do this all and literally took his side. Even though she knows what's right. I looked at that all innocently, blinking my eyes"."Grandpa, understood they are so screwed. He came near me and asked me gently and lovingly whether he wants to take me with him. He is the first one to fight that animal for me. How can I say No? I immediately nodded and we came to his house. It was a countryside house and it was not so bright as my previous house. But I felt a relief, which I couldn't find there"."At first, I was even scared to talk with Grandpa. Eventually, he built his trust in me and we got along. I told him everything he did to me. I'm sure he was ready to kill him. But controlled that rage, to take care of me"."He bought me to therapy. I took 4 years to forget all those bullshit. But still, I have some scars"."Everything was fine until I was 22. We both had only one aim it was to beat him in his field and to break his ego. That's why I chose journalism. When I said I want to start my magazine, grandpa sold that country house and invested that money in this. A day before our first day of the magazine, he died from a heart attack. I think...it triggered me again" I swallowed hard, "The magic which held me together was lost. Ugly memories, which I tried to forget for 4 years slowly started to reappear" I tried to smile, "I think I need to take back therapy, but my therapist passed away 3 months ago. So, I stopped looking for that option".An unwanted silence covered us both. I think his eyes glassed a bit, the corner of his eyes had a hint of most. He rubbed that away immediately, asking, "Umm...ugh...you never heard from them, anymore?""At first, when I came to grandpa's house. He came and argued with him, saying that I'm her daughter...blah...blah...but when Grandpa threatened to expose him, he never came back. I bet he doesn't even know what I'm doing. But, he can identify me if he sees me. I'm an exact carbon copy of her and I hate that whenever I see myself in a mirror. Also one thing, you remember, Jason Reid?"He nodded."His father and Collin started the magazine together. In fact, he invested in that. But Collin made him bankrupt and took the magazine under his name. That's why he hated me when I went to his interview. I'm not even aware of this until he told me"."I bet he is the worst human being in the world. He has many enemies" he looked at me.I sniffed my nose and replied agreeing with him, "Yeah"."Ana, I thought my childhood was worse than anything in the world. But you proved me wrong"."That's why I told you...not to win....but you'll understand me" I smiled.Outside rain had stopped. We both looked at each other. After a minute, he came near me and kissed my forehead deeply. It was a warm and soft kiss, "Don't think it as a pity kiss. It's a sign that I'm here for you" he gently ran his finger on my cheek, "No matter what. I'll try my best to be with you"."Thank you so much, Chris. This is what I need right now"."Come here" he hugged me and kissed my head, "You can trust me. I'm here, you can sleep. I won't let any devil to take you away, okay?""I know" tears ran down my cheeks. We released each other from the grip and slept together holding our hands together.Next morning,      I woke up when I heard the microwave beeping. I rubbed my eyes and sat on the bed. I recollected what happened yesterday. Fuck! I shouldn't done that. Now what he'll think of me.I came down. He was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. He was in yesterday's clothes. His morning face was fresh and happy."Morning" he wished, cracking the egg on the non-stick pan."Morning" I replied and came near him, "Umm...Chris...I think I should go".He looked up from the pan and asked sadly, "Why?"I stood awkwardly, lowering my gaze down on the floor. He understood my thoughts, "Ana" he raised my chin and made me to look at him, "No, I'm not even single bit ashamed of what you said. In fact, I like you even more for fighting that very bravely. I...I...Lov..." He cleared his throat, "Trust me, your secret is safe with me" he stroked my cheeks gently and smiled, "Only if you really want to go...go...I'm not stopping you. But no to that, please stay".His words gave me a splash of relief, "What's for breakfast?"He chuckled showing his white teeth, "Bacon, eggs and freshly squeezed orange juice"."All right, I'll help you" I joined him."Don't wrong me. But, your friends know about this?"I shook my head, saying no, "According to them, my parents were dead and my Grandpa is the guardian. When I joined high school, I changed my name officially to Ana Thomas. Only Jamie know that I'm Collin. But he doesn't know about the molesting. You are the only person to know about this".He opened his mouth to say something. His phone rang, he excused and answered it, "Yes, Chuck?"He listened intensely for a minute. After that, he ran to the living room. I followed him, he turned on the television.A lady news reporter was talking in her sweet voice wearing an office suit, "A mysterious girl was spotted with a famous actor, Chris Rovan, yesterday when he turned 28".The screen showed me and his picture. He was hugging me, facing the camera. His face was clear. I was showing my back to the camera. Fuck!The next picture showed me inside the car's front seat and he in the driver seat. Our faces were not clear due to the long shot. But the person already knows us, can identify us. Chris is known by all, so he can be identified easily. Me, I think my gang and Chris Family can identify it."Shit!" He cursed under his breath, "Ice-cream shop, they identified me".  His phone rang. This time it's Crystal.Â