Every day since starting at Tommen, I sat at the exact same table in the lunch hall for break.
It was close to the door and comprised of a thirty-foot banquet table, filled with my teammates and a few of their girlfriends.
I always sat at the end of the table, with my back to the wall, looking onto the rest of the room, where I had a crystal-clear view of everything going on around me.
I liked it because I had space to breathe and not have girls fucking groping me and touching my back every fifteen seconds.
Like always, Gibs and Feely sat opposite me, and Hughie sat to my right.
The difference today was both Hughie and Feely were in detention, and Gibsie was scowling at me.
âCould you stop staring at her for five fucking minutes and pretend to be listening to me,â Gibsie hissed. âSeriously, lad.â Tossing his sandwich down on the lunch table, he threw his hands up in frustration. âItâs getting creepy, and youâre putting me off my food.â
âIâm not doing anything,â I grumbled as I leaned back in my chair and rolled my water bottle between my hands absentmindedly.
Shannon was sitting at the opposite side of the lunch hall with her two friends, smiling and laughing at something Hughieâs little sister was saying.
Her hair was swept back in two long braids resting on her small shoulders, and every time she wrapped one of those braids around her finger, I had to bite back a groan.
Seriously, Iâd been sitting here for the past twenty-five minutes, not listening to one word Gibsie was saying, because I was too fucking busy watching a girl who clearly wanted nothing to do with me.
All weekend, Shannon had been in the back of my mind â okay, the fore point.
Iâd spent days brooding over her reaction to me on the pitch Friday, and how she hurried away from me.
When she passed me in the hall this morning after first class, I had felt way too fucking excited to see her.
Of course, she smiled shyly before dropping her head and hurrying past me, but she was here.
She was in my space.
Which meant both my attention and my thoughts were fixated solely on her.
And I fucking hated it.
I wanted her, I realized, and it was entirely inappropriate and horrendous bad luck on my account, but I did.
I wanted Shannon Lynch.
And worse than wanting her, I really fucking liked her.
She had this sweet something about her, and I liked how it felt when I was around her.
I liked the way she looked, the way she spoke, the way she carried herself.
I liked a whole heap of things about her, and oddly enough, my liking her had nothing to do with what was under her clothes.
Well, that wasnât completely true.
I thought a lot about what I would find beneath her clothes and I liked those visuals a lot.
But it was more than that.
It was all more when it came to her.
But I wasnât in the position to put time into a girl, and spending time with that particular one could get me in a world of trouble.
I knew the way things worked; spend too much time with a girl and feelings arose, and where feelings arose, fucking arose.
It was a dangerous ledge to balance on.
One I was not willing to step onto.
âNo, youâre not doing anything,â Gibsie drawled sarcastically, shifting in his seat so he was blocking my perfect view of her. âYouâre only mentally undressing her in your head.â
âI am not,â I growled, glaring at him from across the table.
I was.
I so fucking was.
Christ, was I that obvious?
âYes, you are that obvious,â Gibsie stated, clearly reading my thoughts. âAnd Iâll tell you who else is obvious,â he added, gesturing with his thumb to our right. âThat evil bitch.â
I didnât need to look to know he was talking about Bella.
She was perched at the opposite end of our table with a few of the lads on the team from sixth year, where she had spent most of lunch trying to get a rise out of me.
It wouldnât work.
I wasnât fucking biting.
âIgnore her.â Unscrewing the cork on my bottle, I took a deep swig of water. âSheâs not worth the hassle.â
âLad, I know Iâm repeating myself, but I honest to god donât know how you ever touched her,â he groaned.
âNeither do I,â I admitted, as I recapped my bottle and resumed my staring at Shannon.
He leaned back in his chair and arched a brow. âYou should go over and talk to her.â
âTo Bella?â I scowled. âNo fucking thanks.â
âNot that demon,â Gibsie countered with a grimace. âShannon.â
I shook my head. âNo.â
âSheâs a frigit, you know,â Gibsie stated nonchalantly. âOr at least she was.â He gave me a pointed look. âYou havenât been sticking your tongue down her throat, have you?â
âNo,â I hissed.
âOkay then,â he mused. âSheâs still a frigit.â
I frowned at him. âHow do you even know that?â
âI listen carefully,â he snickered, tapping his temple.
âWhat?â
âI overheard the girls talking about it in Claireâs bedroom a while back,â he admitted. âThat viper Pierce is tapping was talking about what a terrible ride he is, and it came up that Shannon has never kissed a fella.â Frowning, he added, âThe viper really doesnât like me.â
âJesus Christ,â I muttered, âYouâre listening outside the girlâs bedroom now?â
When he didnât deny it, I shook my head.
âYou have a problem, Gibs. A big one.â
âItâs only a problem if you admit it,â he countered with a knowing grin. âIsnât that how it works, Johnny?â
âFuck off,â I growled, knowing exactly what he was getting at.
âGo on, Johnny. Just go over there and talk to her,â he encouraged. âYou can do it.â
âNo, Gibs,â I bit out. âLet it go.â
âWhy not?â he demanded in an exasperated tone.
âBecause I donât want to,â I snapped.
âLiar.â
âYou know what? For a fella who calls himself my best friend, youâre doing a shitty job,â I growled. âI told you Iâm not going there with that girl. I told you sheâs too fucking young for me.â
âYouâre the one who canât stop staring at her,â he barked.
âWell, tell me to stop,â I shot back. âDonât tell me to go over there.â
âI did tell you to stop,â Gibsie hissed, sounding exasperated. âLike two minutes ago. I told you to stop staring at her like a creeper, and yet here you are, still fucking her with your eyes, and still looking like someone shit in your cornflakes.â He threw his hands up. âWhat am I supposed to do with you?â
âYouâre supposed to remember that Iâm the eejit who almost died this morning being dessy driver for your learner arse,â I grumbled. âSo instead of encouraging me to make bad choices, why donât you try and support me for once.â
âIâm a good driver!â
I rolled my eyes. âYou are a liability.â
âAnd I am nothing but supportive to you,â he huffed dramatically. âI am your number fucking one supporter, Johnny Kavanagh.â Leaning back in his seat, he folded his arms across his chest and gave me a pointed look. âYou really hurt my feelings just now.â
âI hurt your feelings?â I cocked a brow. âWhoâs the bitch with a vagina now?â
âApologize,â he ordered.
âGet the fuck out of here, ya eejit,â I laughed.
He glared back at me. âSay youâre sorry.â
âFor what?â
âFor hurting my feelings,â he sniffed. âNow apologize.â
âIâm sorry, Gibs,â I placated, deciding it was easier to just give the big eejit what he wanted.
âYou could mean it,â he argued.
âYou could learn not to push your luck,â I warned.
We had a fifteen second stare down until he grinned and said, âI accept your apology.â
âGood,â I muttered. âIâm delighted for ya.â
âAnd since you seem to need so much support these days ââ Shoving back his chair, Gibsie stood up and winked at me. âIâll go talk to her for you.â
âDonât you fucking dare â â I paused to grab him, but he slipped out of my grip and sauntered away. âGibs!â
âRelax, Kav, Iâve got this,â he told me as he made a big show of adjusting his school tie. Waggling his brows, he added, âWatch how itâs done.â
And then he walked right over to the girlsâ table and sat down.
For fuckâs sakeâ¦
My feet were moving before my common sense had a chance to talk me off the ledge I was about to step onto.