Chapter Fifteen

"Want me to take the bus back with you?" Louis asked smiling so that his eyes crinkled a little, shrugging into his dark grey hoodie.

"Mhmm," Harry said, sipping on his tea, almost finished. "Should I change back into my clothes or-?"

Liam looked up from the couch. "You can just wear my pajamas home and wash them and bring them back next time you're over."

Harry smiled a little at that, at the promise of being able to come over again sometime soon.

"Are you leaving now?" Niall asked, stepping out of the kitchen, where he was loading up the dishwasher.

"Yeah, I think," Harry said, "I have to get back to the dorms and pack before I go back home tomorrow."

"Do you have everything?" Louis asked, gathering up his jacket, wallet and phone.

Harry nodded, and then looked over at Niall, who came over for a hug.

"Missed you so much," Harry mumbled into Niall's shoulder.

"Missed you too, mate," Niall said. "Let me tattoo you soon, okay?"

"Okay," Harry smiled, and then Liam stepped forward and hugged him goodbye as well.

Harry stepped outside, and Louis was about to follow, but Niall walked up behind him, waiting to talk to him.

"Can I just-" Niall started. He looked a bit uncomfortable. "I just really need to ask you something."

"Sure, anything," Louis said, tugging his shoes on.

"It's just... it's about Harry," Niall said quietly, even though there was no way Harry would hear them from outside the house.

"Okay," Louis said, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

"I know you two are starting to get close, but Harry's only..." Niall's face was flushed beet red at this point. "...he's only been with one guy before, which I know is his business and it's not my place to tell you that, but I just need you to be careful with him okay? Don't take things too fast with him, alright, mate? Sorry, this is awkward," Niall laughed nervously.

"Got it," Louis nodded, his head spinning- flashing back to every guy he'd met at a bar that'd he fucked partially for the free drinks... and mostly for the feeling that someone, anyone wanted him. Lou thought of every guy who's name he didn't remember, who he'd danced with so filthily at grimy nightclubs it was more like foreplay than dancing... he thought of every time he'd waited for someone to fall asleep before slipping out of their apartment because he knew if it was something he was already regretting while tipsy, he wouldn't be able to look at them sober in the morning.

And then he thought of Harry, all green eyes and pretty tattoos and patience and this innate sense of goodness that Louis didn't- couldn't- have. Harry, who probably waited years for the guy who he was sure was The One, a guy who he was in love with... and Louis who didn't always bother to ask for a name because it didn't even matter.

Louis felt sick as he stepped outside to join Harry. Harry's eyes were bright and expectant, like he was waiting for Louis to say something, or do something, but Louis stayed quiet, not wanting to even make eye contact.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked, a looking a little scared to touch Louis, like he had some irrational fear that he might break him.

"I just, I really need a smoke," Louis mumbled. "I'm sorry," he added before going through his pockets and frantically fumbling to get out his lighter and a cigarette. Once he had lit up, he took deep drags of his cigarette, closing his eyes in bliss, and sitting on the front porch as smoke fell from his lips.

"Feel better?" Harry asked, smiling a little, sitting down next to the older boy, and slipping his hand around his waist gently.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"It's fine," Harry said gently, nudging his hip.

Louis let the smoke pool out of his mouth before taking another long drag. "It's not fine," he replied. "I shouldn't be this... this dependent, it just sorta happened. Sorry," he added, his voice still a little ragged around the edges, sounding like he'd just woken up, "We don't need to talk about it or anything, it just, I don't know, it just sucks sometimes." he tried to laugh a little bit, like he was shaking it off, like he didn't want to talk to Harry about anything serious.

"When did you start?" Harry asked, his green eyes looking at Louis carefully.

"Um, I was like eighteen I think? There was this guy- of course," Louis rolled his eyes before continuing, "And he smoked, and I just sort of started then I guess. Thought it could just be an occasional thing, but nope," he said, biting the inside of his cheek. He tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, he rested his hand on Louis knee, rubbing his thumb a little against the tear in Louis' jeans.

They sat in silence until Louis finished his cigarette and crushed it onto the pavement with his worn in shoes.

"I think the bus is coming in a few minutes so-" Harry started, leaning forward to kiss Louis, but Lou wouldn't turn to meet his lips, so he just kissed him on the cheek instead.

"I think... I think I'm just gonna go back a little later tonight, okay?" Louis said, still not meeting Harry's eyes.

"Okay," Harry said quietly, closing his eyes for a moment before he stood to go walk to the bus stop.

Louis sat on the front porch as Harry left, wanting another cigarette, but not wanting to have to watch Harry walk all the way down to the end of the road in Liam's baggy pajamas, looking so alone. He felt his chest tighten as Harry stepped onto the bus, and Louis went back into Liam's place, slamming the door a little too aggressively behind him.

"Wait- aren't you going back with Harry?" Liam asked as Louis walked back into the house.

"I'm still hungover, can we talk about this tomorrow?" Louis asked. He was feeling irritable now that Harry was gone, missing being curled up next to him, missing even just getting to touch his arms and kiss his neck. All he could see was Harry's green eyes squeeze shut when he told him he didn't  want to take the bus with him.

Lou let out a sigh of relief when he found he still had three cigs in the pack, and he tried to step past Liam to go out for another smoke.

"If you try and put this off we're never going to talk about it," Liam said. "Then again... not like you listen to me anyway."

"God you're unbearable when you're hungover," Louis snapped, almost crushing his cigarette in between his fingers from the tension.

Louis was a complete arsehole when he hadn't had his usual amount of cigarettes, and Liam got irritable when he was hungover. They usually just avoided each other the mornings after a long night so they wouldn't fight about pointless stuff. They'd been so close for so many years, none of it mattered after a few hours, but it was best to just avoid it in the first place.

Usually the problem was that Liam wanted to protect Louis- he seemed to think Louis didn't take good enough care of himself. He always was always on Louis' case to not let people use him, to see himself as having value. Louis didn't mind feeling disposable though, it saved him from feeling like he was letting anyone down. He just wasn't the boyfriend type, and leaving the bar with some guy, getting to be wanted... it wasn't a bad thing to Lou to be an object if he could be an object that someone wanted, even just for the night instead of just slowly letting them down over a few months or years.

"Woah, what's up?" Niall asked, stepping out of the kitchen with another cup of tea, still a little uncomfortable around Louis and Liam, but slowly adjusting. "Is something going on, or-?"

"Louis over here just doesn't understand how to have a healthy love life like a normal adult," Liam told Niall.

"Fuck off," Louis said. "It's none of your bloody business, why do you even care?" he asked.

"He cares because he's your friend," Niall said, stepping in hesitantly, even though it wasn't his place. "What are you two even on about anyway?"

"Harry," Liam said.

"Oh," Niall said, raising his eyebrows a little. "Did anyone ask Harry how he feels about whatever's going on?"

Liam sighed. "Harry's clearly not the problem here."

Louis took one long withering glare at Liam before he strode out of the house, this time slamming the door so hard behind him that the glass panel shook.

A/N: Hope everyone is doing well :) Oh I changed the cover by the way! I know it's kind of different because it doesn't have Louis and Harry but I love love loved it, so hopefully you all do too! In my head, I kind of saw it like it was Harry taking the photo of Louis when he wasn't looking and Louis was caught off guard, you know?

Welcome to anyone who just started reading the story and is caught up already- nice to have you join us! I always love when people manage to read the whole story in like a day or something, that's really cool! And thanks for everyone who's voting and commenting, you really make the story more fun :)