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Iris
I stir awake, totally disoriented, in the dark. It takes me a while to recognize the white bedsheets and the weight of a head on the crook of my neck and an arm around my hip.
Right.
I am in Noah's room, have worn Noah's clothes and Noah's (half-naked) body is tangled with mine. Also, my heart is almost a skin way to burst out of my chest.
Damn, it should be a crime to wake up this flustered.
I stretch my arm to tap my phone, after turning on the bed light. 6:41 am. This explains the darkness but seriously, why am I awake at this ungodly hour? I stifle a groan, not wanting to wake up Noah.
I shift a bit to look at him. This is probably the first time I have seen him asleep; he always wakes up before me. The soft bed light brushes upon his skin and I can't help but smile at how peaceful and angelic he looks.
Long hair strands fall upon his forehead, trying to hide the faint scar. The light freckles seem to be sprinkled like paint on the olive skin of his nose. Slowly, my gaze slide from his sharp yet crooked nose to the naturally nude lips with a tinge of pink on the bottom lip.
He looks really, really adorable. I can hear him disagreeing with me in my mind, but I do not care.
Last night was probably one of the best nights of my life. Even though it has been some hours, my lips are still tingling with the sensation I'd felt, remembering the kiss. And all I can remember that it would have been just a heavenly way to dieâjust with his lips on mine.
Unable to control myself, I reach out to touch the subtle cheekbones under his eyes. I smile when he stirs but also, tightens his hold around me. My heart clenches at the action but I continue my torture since it feels so satisfying.
"Bella," His voice comes out a bit rasped yet velvety. I pause as his eyes flicker open to meet mine.
"What are you doing?" He asks, lifting his head, but I put it down, quickly. He lets out a laugh and pulls me closer to his chest as if there is any space left.
I mutter, "You should go back to sleep."
"Mmm, you smell like me," he says instead, kissing my collarbone.
"Noah" I gasp, putting my hands on my face, and he laughs. I push him away and he groans, stretching his arms to look at the time on his phone.
He, then, murmurs, "It's fucking blurry."
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, because you don't wear the glassesâit's like you want to destroy your vision."
"They are reading glasses with minimal power," he tells me, dryly, and gets his phone.
"That's what Mom said beforeâand now she cannot see anything near without glasses."
"It doesn't workâ" He pauses, blinking at his phone. He looks at me, trying to control his expression. "Bella, my darling, why are you awake at this insane hour?"
"You are not the only one with weird sleeping habits, okay?" I say backâkind of offended.
He lets out a hearty laugh. "Trust me, I know that. Last night, you kept on murmuring and turning aroundâI think I had to stop you from falling for almost three times."
"Oh my god," I groan, turning away. "I cannot help it!"
His arm wraps around my waist and with minimal effort, pulls me towards him as my back collides against his chest. As weird it sounds, I feel a lot safe like the money in a very protected locker.
"It is okay," He murmurs over my ear and it takes every bit of me to try not to shiverâwhich I fail when he brushes his lips just behind my ear. "Also, I like it when you call out my name and then say hot, handsome, sexyâ"
"I'll never say that."
He hums. "You sure about that, darling?"
I gulp when his lips hover over my neck. But I reply, very breathless, "...Yes."
"You are really sure about that?"
I purse my lips, thinking about my idiot unconscious self and what kind of things had I blurted while sleepingâoh the dangers if I have blurted anything like that.
So, I just decide to change the topic. "I have to go."
Noah freezes a moment behind me, and I know he didn't expect me to say that. He asks, skeptically, "Why?"
"Aunt Gaby told me specifically that we can't sleep in the same room. So, I think I shouldâ"
"You didn't complain last time."
"Yeah, but..."
"You are already defying her, so, let's just cuddle more."
He nuzzles his head into the crook of my neck, pulling me into an embrace. Not only mine but I can feel the vibrations from his chest too. This stupid man knowsâliterally knows I have to go but, no he still has to slow torture with all these touches.
"Noah, I have to go," I say, struggling to move away, but his hold is still strong. "What if someone comes and looks at usâ"
"Let them."
"Noah."
He grunts but finally, lets go of me.
I edge out of the bed, immediately missing his warmth. I don't turn towards him because I know I will jump back onto the bed with himâliterally jump back. But no. Self-control, Iris. Self-control.
I groan when I catch sight of the rampant mess that is my hair in the mirror. I murmur, touching the hair, "This will take me ages to get it untangled."
Noah, unsurprisingly, slips out of the sheets and walks towards his bag to get a shirt. In these few days, I have picked up small things about Noah; Like how he always rolls his shoulder when he gets out of the bed or how he takes time choosing his outfit, unlike me who picks the first thing that is touched.
Another thing I've noticed is Noah hums some sort of lullaby in the morning. He still hums it while putting on a sweatshirt. When he turns towards me, I almost start to comment about it but then I catch sight of one of my NASA sweatshirts in Noah's bag.
I point at it and say, dryly, "That's mine."
"So?"
"So? I've been searching for it everywhere!"
He looks down at the sweatshirt for a moment, before looking back at me. "You want it back?"
"No."
I think both of us noticed how quick my response was. Noah's lips lift into a smirk and I look away from him, flustered. Whenever I try to get the upper hand, he and his smirk crumble my confidence and make me into a blushing mess.
"Bye," I mutter, quickly walking out of the room. But just when I reach the door, I turn and say, "You're precious to me, Noah."
His smirk turns to a full-fletched grin. "You are fucking precious to me, too."
***
Of course, the atmosphere has changed, and everyone can notice it.
I think everyone else knew something was up when I literally came for breakfast hopping like a rabbit. I don't regret it. But it was when Noah came for his breakfast and greeted everyoneâeven the babiesâthe puzzle of why the atmosphere changed was solved.
Also, the fact Noah and I couldn't stop looking at each other and smile. By no means, we are hiding it now.
Someone coughs, beside me, and I realize I've been staring at Noah again. He is outside, in the park, playing soccer with Alex while Aunt Gaby and I are sitting on the porch.
I look at Aunt Gaby and she raises a brow. I ask, "What?"
She rolls her eyes. "I know the start of a relationship is like a honeymoon and you both are legalâ"
I groan but she continues, "But I still have to remind you that I don't want any...activities to cause you to be pregnant too early than you are ready for."
"Trust me, Aunt," I tell her. "That is not anytime soon."
"I trust youânot him," She gestures at Noah but then she says, "Actually, except for some men, I don't trust any other male species."
"You don't say," I say, crossing my legs. "Seriously, though, why?"
"Why don't trust Noah?" She ponders, taking all her hair back and tying it in a ponytail. "He hasn't given me a reason to trust him yet... but that doesn't mean I don't respect him."
When I give a questioning look, she laughs. She tells me, "I respect him because he didn't use his last name to get respect for himself."
I straighten up. "You already knew him?"
"Hun, not only him. The whole country knows the Radcliffe familyâNoah and his brother just have been out of that paparazzi spotlight."
I ask her, "His brother Chris?"
"Yeah."
I remain silent because mainly I don't want to know more. I know Noah's hometown is literally hours away from London but not once, he has mentioned going there. I don't want to push the topic on himâhe decides to go there.
"You're really Mia's girl," Aunt Gaby comments.
I smile in surprise. "What do you mean?"
"It is just the way you remind me so much of Mia, really." She explains, "I swear to god, when you were born, I thought you will be a mini-Steve with you having his eyes and hair but thank goodness, you are not."
"He ain't that bad, Aunt." I laugh and nudge her by her shoulder. "You can admit to me that you have grown a soft spot for Dad."
She rolls her eyes. "Never in my life, I am going to admit that. But anyways, Iry, tell me how you met Noah. It sure must be a story."
I start to smile, involuntarily. "It was quite a day."
***
"Don't talk to me."
I look down at the phone, incredulously. I ask Colt, "What did I do?"
"I don't know!" He replies. "Just don't talk to me."
After a long day of just staying inside and doing some schoolwork, I decided to call my best friend out of all the things I could've done later. And this is how he is acting towards me.
I don't even know why.
"Colt," I start. "What's wrong?"
I hear him sigh on the other end. "School's gonna end in some months."
"Coltâ"
"And I already feel like it has."
I laugh, realizing what he means. Except for Colt and the Jones twins, everyone else has gone somewhere this week, and knowing these three, they are just bored looking at each other's faces.
I lie flat on the bed, putting the phone on speaker just when Colt says, loudly, "Don't laugh!"
"I am trying not to, but I cannot help it," I tell him. Since he doesn't reply, I imagine him just sulking. "Okay, okay, I am stopping."
"Good," Colt grumbles. "What are you doing?"
I turn around on the bed, telling him, "I just completed the assignmentsâ"
"We had assignments?"
"Dude."
"I forgot!"
"Dude."
"Iris!"
I sigh, rolling my eyes. "You are good for absolutely nothing. How are you my best friend again?"
Colt grumbles, "Didn't know intelligence was one of the criteria to be your best friend."
"Alright, sarcastic cat." I laugh. "What are you doing anyway?"
Colt hums and tells me, "Before calling you, I called Tori. She is enjoying horse-riding in Texas and also sent a video of her doing that. She is so amazingâyou know she does this little thing when weâ"
"Colt," I interrupt. "I really don't want to know what you both do. Just that you both are doing okay."
"Yup, Iris, we're okay." I hear him smile.
"Good to know. Anyway, tell me more about what's happening there."
"Oh, I remember!" He starts, excitedly. "So, you know the lady who lives two houses away from mine? Yeah, so she gotâ"
I sit up when there are two knocks on the door, before Noah trudges in the room, closing the door. When he looks at me, he smiles. But I... I blank out.
All because of those grey glasses on his nose.
Noah's really good-looking, though I wouldn't say it to his face. But it is something about those glasses that makes him beautifulânot just by looks. It is like a piece of his inner self that he doesn't show a lot. He just looks so... raw and unedged yet so soft.
Damn, he really looks good.
Yeah, I know I said that twice but a fact's a fact, sue me.
"Iris? Iris Cooper? Are you listening to me, Iry?"
I blink, realizing Colt's still talking. Noticing the same, Noah chuckles and leans back on the dressing table, in front of the bed.
Irritated by my best friend, I tell him, "No, I am not."
Colt pauses for a moment and then, the idiot goes on to say, "Hey, Noah. What are you doing, man? I really hope it isn't my best friend, but it is her choice, anywayâ"
"Colt," I say, putting the call off the speaker. "I'll talk to you, later."
Colt laughs on the other side. "Just don't make me an uncâ"
I cut his call, mortified of his next words. Getting back the guts, I look at Noah only to find him looking around my room.
I roll my eyes and walk towards him when he is looking at the music cassettes on my shelf. "Why do you always come in my room and snoop around?"
"I don't snoop around," he turns towards me. "I just am observing."
I lean against the shelf, crossing my arm. "And what is that exactly? That if you are dating a psycho or not? Well, guess what, you are."
He looks away with a smile. "I already know that."
"Hey!" I punch his arm, lightly.
"Is that Bon Iver?" He asks, pointing to one of the music cassettes on the top shelf. "I have never heard you listen to Bon Iver."
I tilt my head to look up at the cassette and let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I was very much into indie music then."
He hums. "Then the snow started falling, we were stuck out in your car, you were rubbing both my hands, chewing on a candy bar, you said 'ain't this just like the present, to be showing up like this', as a moon waned to crescent, we started to kiss..."
I think I stopped breathing, stopped living for a moment there. Listening to one of Bon Iver's lyrics in his voice, I don't think I was prepared for it or ever would've been.
When he looks back at me, his hair falls on his forehead, hiding a bit of the eyes as they look into mine with so much intensity. Before I know, I push up the hair, running my fingers through his hair, softly, and trace my finger on his forehead scar. Instinctively, I feel his breath catch and he closes his eyes.
He opens his eyes and the look in his eyes melts my insides. His lemony-wood smell makes me intoxicated as the amber eyes are holding my dark brown eyes. Both of our breaths tangled with each other as the world seems to stop around us. Without any intention, my eyes drop to his lips, reminding me of that sweet kiss we shared.
With my hand on his cheek, I look up into his eyes and realize Noah is doing the same, looking at my lips. Heads inches away from each other. Breathing faster and, slowly, we areâ
Noah's phone rings.
We don't pull away like I'd imagined us to. Instead, we freeze, until Noah cusses the universe against my lips. I let out a laugh as we pull away from each other's embrace.
"Timingâthe fucking timing," He groans, taking out his phone, but when he looks at the caller's name, he tenses.
I ask him, alert, "Who is it?"
He clears his throat and gives me a sheepish look. "It's Mum. I have to pick up the call."
I cannot stop my grin, and he gives me a warning look. But I still say, poking his cheek, "You're such a momma's boy. So cute."
He rolls his eyes. "I can endâ"
"Yeah, yeah, you can but you won't. Go." I push him before he can protest. "Take the call."
He straightens up but not before he gives me a small peck on my lips. He says over my lips, "I'll be right back."
"I know," I reply, smiling, and he goes out of the room to talk to her. I am about to lay back on the bed, but I notice the notes sprayed all over it.
"Studying is hard," I mutter.
It doesn't take me long to put everything on the table, deciding I will arrange them in the morning tomorrow. When I turn, I notice the red sweatshirt I've taken from Noah, peeking out of my bag, in exchange for my sweatshirt.
I catch myself smiling like a fool and suppress a squeal of happinessâknowing that he can hear me out there. We were idiots. Two idiots deciding that we will shut off our feelings for one another until it fades off to nothing. Only if we knew then.
I sigh and am about to go out to check on Noah when my phone rings. I am confused, at first, but when I check the number, I ignore it.
But it doesn't stop there.
The third time it rings I pick it up.
"Look whatever you want to say, just say it without beating around the bush. I don't have time for you," I snap.
"Congratulations," Thomas replies. "For winning the competition."
I am surprised. "Um, thank you."
"How are you?" He asks. "I've... not seen you around."
I reply, bluntly, "Probably because you had been lying to me."
I hear a sigh on the other end. Thomas starts, "Iris... why are you being like this?"
I close my eyes, trying to breathe. "Why am I being like this?"
"Yeah, like I've done something. All I want is for us to be together, again. Is that a crime?"
"What, what did you just say?"
"Iris," He says, "You heard me. All I've been thinking is how we can be together andâand go on dates. Remember how you wanted to go to a mini-golf date andâ"
Suddenly, my stomach doesn't feel well. "Stop, goddammit, just stop. Why didn't you think of all that when you left me after Josephine had posted fake naked pictures of me around the school? Why didn't you think of all that when you gave Josephine my pictures? Why didn't you, Thomas Scott?"
When I don't hear anything from him, I scoff. "Yes, yes, I know that you were the one who gave her my pictures. It wasn't even nudesâI was dressed in normal attire, but she changed them all. Haâimagine the shock on my face when I realized that this incident happened a week after you tried to force me to have sex with you. I played dumb but I always knew."
For a long moment, he doesn't say anything untilâ "You think you are so smart, right, Iris?"
ThereâThere it is, the harsh tone he uses when he doesn't get what he wants. It might've been less than a year since we dated but I can't forget this tone of his.
"I don't think I am smart. I am smart."
He says, "Yeah, yeah. Then, you should definitely know that Noah just likes you for your body, right?"
I snarl, "Don'tâ"
"Oh, come on, Iris Cooper." He laughs. "You know what I mean. All the guys who have ever flirted youâevery one of them just wanted to have sex with you. Because you aren't worth dating. At least, I waited for a year for you to like me and date meâeven went to all the stupid dates. I just expected one thing and you couldn't even give me that."
Then, he says, "And you think Noah Radcliffeâthe guy who has just been sleeping around for all this timeâwill fall for you? That he will change for a mere girl who won't even give what he wants? You are so duâ"
I don't hear the next words. Probably, because the next thing I knowâI cannot feel my body anymore.
The walls seem to close on to me and it is getting difficult to breathe in here. I know what's happening and I have to control it. I have gone years without one, not even close to this.
My heart beats spikes, I can almost hear them beating loudly against my ears. My vision gets blurry, and I cannot even speak as breathing starts to get difficult. I lost the count of timeâfor gods' sake, I don't know until I hear Noah's rasped voice pulling me out.
When his arms wrap around me, I can feel myself stabilizing. I am coming backâslowly, but I am.
"Bella." He kisses my left cheek, his hair brushing over my closed eyes. Again turning, he pushes back my hair and kisses my right cheek. "Bella, listen to me."
When he rests his forehead on mine, he whispers, "Deep breaths, Bella; take them one at a time. I will count to ten, okay?"
I do what he tells me as he counts till ten.
"Noah," I say first when I regain my vision. His eyes soften but within a moment, it hardens.
His jaw clenched, he says, "He had no right. Absolutely no right to send anyone your personal pictures." He hisses. "I knewâI fucking knew something was off about Thomas Scott from the very start but this, cazzo."
He pulls away and looks at me. "The rumorsâthe reason why you ate in the courtyard, instead of the cafeteria..." He curses, angrily, in Italian.
"Noah, why do you like me?"
His brows furrow when he looks at me. When he doesn't reply as quickly as I hoped, a wave of nerves and regret drowns me.
"I... I am sorryâI shouldn't haveâJust forget I said that." I turn and try to pull away from him, but he pulls me right towards him.
Close, I see the way he looks between my eyesâacross my face, to trying to read whatever thoughts I've kept up in my mind, to how he can just destroy my ability to think with one look.
"It was weird, you don't need to answer," I let out an awkward laugh and look away from his gaze. I ramble, "I mean just because my ex told me that someone cannot see past my body without thinking of sex, doesn't meanâshouldn't mean that you like me just because I have this curvy body or something, I don't know. Justâjust leave it. It is my insecurities acting up, nothingâ"
He cuts me off. "Iris, look at me."
I can't. I just can't move.
"Look at me," he repeats, cupping my face with his hand. He lifts my chin to let our eyes come together.
"You," he says. "Are fucking precious to me, Bella. I have feelings for youâfeelings I have never experienced in my eighteen years. These are not just romantic or sexual. I feel everything, all at once when you are with meâphysically and mentally."
My heart starts beating even faster at those words.
He looks down at me with hooded eyes and whispers, "Iris Cooper, I know you don't believe in promises but trust me when I say I'll stay with you. I'll stay."
A whirlwind of disbelief gets me. But his next words hit me so hard I know I won't be able to form a sentence soon enough.
"I am ready to tell you everything. We're going to Nottingham, tomorrow."
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