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Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Learning to Love Him - 10th-Anniversary Rewritten Edition

*****

*Jayden*

I was feeling guilt weigh me down like I had an invisible truck tied to me everywhere I went, especially when Corey was close to me, which suddenly seemed constant.

That – added to the dread that feeling like my father was up to something and it somehow involved Mike – was just too much. My life felt more screwed up than it had in years and all I wanted to do was shut my eyes and never wake up so everything could just stop forever.

To top it off, the bus's window wasn't opening, and I was freaking suffocating!

"It's broken, let it go," Corey mumbled from beside me.

I glanced at him. He was watching me struggle with a small smile on his face. I knew he would be able to open it if he wanted to, he just enjoyed watching me get annoyed. I frowned, flopping down beside him.

"You're still an asshole," I stated.

"I can't change my personality for you," he replied. "Sorry, you didn't get a 'nice' mate."

I frowned at him, and he laughed leaning over me to shove the window open like it was the easiest thing in the world. I would have been more annoyed by how easy it was for him if I wasn't distracted by the intensity of his scent and losing my breath the moment his body pressed against mine before he sat back.

I was confused but incredibly relieved when the bus came to a halt at a bus station and Corey and Sean made us all get up, ushering us out.

"Why are we getting off? I thought we were riding straight home," Izabella said as she hopped off the bus.

"Finn lives here," Sean looked at Corey.

"Seriously? We're stopping so Jayden can see a friend?" Kaden asked. "Sorry, Jay. I just want to go home."

"That's exactly why we're here." I smiled as Corey said that before smirking as the place reminded me of the last time we were there.

"What happened to 'don't make promises you can't keep'?" I asked.

"We can still get back on the bus and not see him," Corey warned.

I laughed at his empty threat which made him narrow his eyes at me, but his face quickly softened into a smile. Usually, the glare would have scared me, but I was beginning to realise Corey's sharp features made him look threatening quite often, even when he was being playful.

"I'm beat!" Kaden groaned as he stretched, and I realised that I was pretty tired too.

I hadn't been sleeping much lately.

"You're always tired..." Trent mumbled before he and Corey exchanged glances, and their jaws simultaneously dropped.

"You're pregnant?!" they both exclaimed at Kaden.

We were all silent as Kaden stared at them dumbfounded, like he thought they were insane. I could not argue that they were not. They were both pretty messed up, or at least Corey was, and birds of a feather, right?

"What the fuck...?" was all Kaden could seemingly make out as a response to them.

"Moody too," Corey said to Trent.

"Fuck you!" Kaden snapped, raising his voice.

"Kaden, control your anger or you'll hurt the baby," Trent continued.

I watched as Kaden clenched his jaw in frustration and considered linking to Corey to tell him to be quiet because Kaden rarely showcased his frustration like that unless he was about to burst in anger, but Adan spoke before I could.

"Calm down, Kid. They're like that." Adan grabbed Kaden's shoulders to calm him while shooting a glare at the pair. "Let's get to the house," he added, steering Kaden away from them and towards the bus station's exit as the pair laughed.

I finally understood why they were friends. Weirdos.

-----

"Stay close."

I sighed.

I was getting annoyed. Corey's constant checking up on me was irritating enough. I didn't need Kaden to do it too, especially when we were surrounded by Hayley, Trent, Corey and Izabella as well.

'I can take care of myself,' I shot him a glare as I linked to him.

He gave me a look that showed he clearly doubted that, and I clenched my jaw.

I opened my mouth to reply to the look, but a loud 'ding' went off making me realise we were outside Finn's house, and Corey had just rung the bell. There was some shuffling from inside before the door swung open to reveal a guy who looked like a buffer, slightly taller version of Finn with shorter hair. He seemed to be a few years older, too.

"Friends of Finn?" He ran his suspicious eyes over each of us.

I watched, feeling slightly amused as Corey frowned and shoved Hayley behind him when the guy sent her a charming smile that made her blush.

"Sort of, yeah," Kaden said. "Is he home?"

"Yes, he is." The guy nodded. "Finn! Get out of your room! Some people are here to see you!" he shouted as he leaned against the door frame.

We were all quiet for a while as we waited for Finn to get down, and just as it was beginning to become awkward, Hayley spoke up.

"So, I'm Hayley, and these are my friends: Kaden, Izabella, Trent, Jayden and Corey..." Hayley smiled at the guy.

Adan, Rita and Sean wanted to find a place to sleep as soon as possible, so they were either off doing that or had already found a place and were currently asleep. I had not checked our group chat in a while.

"Kyle. Finn's older brother." He smiled back at her.

"Oh, I guess Finn's busy. We should go." Corey turned to leave, holding Hayley's shoulders to steer her away but Izabella stepped in front of him casually.

'What's going on? I thought you wanted to see him? Or at least wanted me to see him?' I linked to Corey.

"Nothing," he muttered out loud.

He frowned towards the stairs behind Kyle before glancing at Hayley who was still staring at the human dreamily as he smiled at her, his eyes not shifting, like the rest of us were not there. Wait...

"You work?" Corey spoke bluntly. Kyle looked at him and nodded.

"I have a job on the other side of town, but only until I head back to varsity. I have a few weeks off," Kyle said.

"Job?" Corey asked.

"Intern. At a law firm, they're paying me half the starting salary, but I can live with that. What about you guys?" Kyle asked.

"We just graduated high school. Well, besides these two." Corey motioned to Kaden and me, "They're in 11th grade," he said. "Next year."

"Finn too." Kyle glanced behind him. "You guys should probably come inside. Finn spends like an hour on his hair alone," he said. We chuckled as we followed him into the living room.

"That doesn't come as a surprise," Kaden said, making Kyle laugh.

"Nice house." Hayley smiled at Kyle.

"Yeah? My mom drove us crazy when she decided to redecorate... Turned out well though," Kyle answered.

"Jayden!" I coughed as the air was knocked out of me when Finn speared me, sending us both tumbling onto the floor. I noticed Corey tense for a second, a frown on his face as I laughed while Finn pulled me to my feet. "What are you doing here?!"

"We're on our way back home so we decided to stop by for a day," I said.

"A day?" Kyle and Hayley said at the same time.

We all looked at them. Ah, I was right.

"Or... or more, depends," I said. I noticed Corey linking to Hayley, a blush covering her face as he smirked.

"Guys!" Izabella whined. She couldn't join their silent conversation because she couldn't link to either of them, being a different breed of wolf and not officially their Luna yet.

"We were headed to the mall; these are my friends." I introduced everyone and Finn seemed happy to meet them. "You guys wanna come?" I looked at the human brothers.

"Yeah, come on, Finn," Kyle spoke before his brother could and Finn gave him a glance of suspicion.

"You usually hate my friends..." he mumbled.

"These friends are cool. Let's go." Kyle didn't take his eyes off Hayley as he said that. But how could he? Even though he was human, it was impossible to resist his mate.

"Right." Finn's eyes flickered to Hayley as he nodded before shouting, "Ma! We're going out!"

"Alright, be careful – or take your brother with you!" a woman called back.

I saw Kyle smirk at Finn who glared back at him, his cheeks shading slightly crimson in embarrassment.

I had a feeling we had more in common than I had first learned.

-----

We walked to the mall because it was not far from Finn's house. Kaden, Finn and I formed our own little group as we teased Kyle and the others earning some chuckles and glares. I just kept glancing around because I felt odd. It was that hair-raising feeling at the back of my neck that someone was watching us, or me. I was trying to make it look casual, so the others didn't notice.

"Jayden, keep up."

I automatically frowned hearing Corey before noticing that I had fallen behind and Kade and Finn had just let me. I lowered my brows at Corey as he waited for me to start walking before he continued.

'I'm not going to get lost,' I linked to him. It was impossible to when I could always feel where he was.

'Really? I thought we would have to find you a babysitter – or better yet, a child leash,' he responded.

I was going to reply but both our wolves growled in our heads telling us to stop. It appeared that even they were sick of our fighting.

I grit my teeth as my phone began ringing.

"Aren't you going to take that?" Finn looked at me.

"Not right now," I replied as the ringing stopped. I reached for my phone to put it on silent.

"Why? Who is it?" Izabella looked at me.

"Joe. He's a little... weird," I lied.

I didn't have to pick it up. He had been harassing me constantly and it was making me increasingly agitated. If I ignored him, he would stop. We would leave tomorrow, and he would not follow us home. He was too afraid of Joe.

Things would go back to normal once I was home.

-----

"That doesn't make sense, Trent –" Hayley was saying.

"It does!" Trent and Kaden cut her off.

I was drifting in and out of everyone's conversations as I glanced at almost every person that passed by our table. I was mentally freaking out at every face I looked at that slightly resembled my father's, and by slightly, I mean not at all similar.

He was there. I knew he was. He had told me so. He could see me. I couldn't see him.

'Calm down,' my wolf's voice was a growl in my head, 'Maybe he lied.'

We both knew very well he wasn't lying. If he could tell me exactly what I was wearing and doing, there was no way he wasn't close by. It just did not make sense that I could not spot him.

It was okay, if I couldn't spot him, I wouldn't run into him. None of my friends would meet him or confront him. He wouldn't tell Corey about –

"Jay?"

"Huh?" I looked at Izabella.

"You... haven't touched your food," she said.

I turned to look down at the untouched slice of pizza. It had already gone cold, the cheese no longer melted.

"I'm not really hungry." I shrugged glancing beside our table again. "I should have stayed with Sean and the others, I'm kind of tired."

"Are you sure? You don't look tired," Finn said.

"I'm just... the bus ride was long..." I shook my head.

I reached for my phone to check it. I didn't know why I had not already turned it off, or why I kept checking it. Maybe I hoped he would eventually let slip exactly where he was. If I knew where he was, I could avoid him.

"Can I see that?" Corey asked.

"No," I replied.

"What are you hiding?" he asked.

I looked at him. "Nothing. Why do you want to see my phone?"

"You check it every five minutes," Izabella replied.

"Literally, Jay," Kaden added.

"No, I don't. I was just... I'm talking to Joe, he –" I was saying, but Corey cut me off.

"You're not checking it, but you're talking to Joe? Which is it? Give me the phone, Jayden."

"No."

"Now," his voice had a strong, forceful edge to it.

Did he just use his Beta tone on me?

If we were in the same pack or we had already mated, I wouldn't have been able to say no to him.

I let out a dry pant. "I'm not giving you my phone. I'm going to go to the bathroom. The one downstairs on the right between Clark's and Forever 21. Would you like to know which stall as well since you insist on acting like you're my fucking parole officer?" I asked Corey.

Everyone seemed shocked by my words, but I was too shaken to care about their reactions. I had to leave. I wasn't going to give them more reason to treat me more like a helpless child than they already did. I could handle this, him, myself. I always had.

I hated, hated feeling like I needed to have help all the time, I hated how weak and pathetic it made me feel. The possibility of Corey and him ever meeting made that feeling worse. My father would tell him. Just to make Corey despise me again.

My eyes met Corey's again as I felt them burn and his face softened.

"Jay, I'm sorry about my tone –"

I got up and began walking away from the table.

"Jayden," I heard Kaden call out after me.

I didn't turn back, knowing he was probably going to follow me. Maybe he would take the hint and leave me alone if I continued to ignore him.

"Jayden –!" Corey called, but I kept walking.

I slid my finger across the screen of my phone while manoeuvring through people walking by.

You should eat, you're going to need the energy.

My eyes darted through the sea of people around me as I tried to spot his face. Restaurants, the third-floor balcony, the cinema not far away. My gaze caught nothing. Where the fuck was he?!

"Jay," I ignored Corey and turned to head towards the exit.

I just needed to get out of there. I walked out of the mall and was close to leaving the parking lot when someone grabbed my arm, tugging it to make me turn around.

"What the hell, Jayden?!" Corey asked.

"What?" I spat. "Why are you following me?!" I added.

"Because we all know your father's been following us, and now you're walking off on your own when you're clearly not alright," Kaden said.

I let out a breath. "I'm fucking perfect, Kaden. Just back off. I don't need you. So what if he's here?! I can handle him –"

"No, you can't –" Kaden tried to speak.

"Yes, I can! I've never needed you to protect me! I've never needed anyone! You weren't there before and I don't need you now. I'm not a child, we're the same age. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my goddamn self!" I shouted.

"Jayden, calm down. We understand that you're afrai –" I cut Corey off with a droughty laugh.

"You do? Please, you don't understand anything. You can't possibly fucking understand! You're a fucking Beta, and you're an Alpha so don't tell me that you understand! You've never been constantly told how weak you are – constantly shown how weak you are! You've never – Don't tell me you fucking understand! I don't want to deal with you right now. Just leave me alone, alright?" I glared at them before I turned and began walking again.

"Jayden, please –" Corey began, his voice sounding strange. Frightened? Worried? Unsteady? Not even my concern about that was enough to make me turn back to them.

"No. Let him go. We'll only make him angrier if we follow him again. Just let him breathe for a bit," I heard Kaden.

I was quite far away from the mall when I finally slowed down and ran my hands over my face while letting out a slow breath. I might have overreacted. Of course, I overreacted. It didn't matter. I wasn't going back.

Corey's voice... I felt bad, he had sounded so hurt. I wished I had tried to fix that.

I let out a breath, letting my head fall back to stare at the darkening sky above. The sun was setting... I would go to the forest, it would be easier to lose him there.

'Easier for him to follow our scent if he shifts,' my wolf responded.

Yes. But it would be easier to lose him there. I would hear him, I could hide, use the mud or the river to cover my scent.

We should just go back to the others before something happens. We can't fight him.

My wolf was right. No matter how much I denied it, no matter how much I hated it, I couldn't take him. I needed help.

I felt my eyes sting. I just didn't want to burden them. I didn't want to prove Corey's concerns about being my mate right.

Rationally, I knew he had apologised, I knew he said he was wrong... but people became tired. I was tired. If I could just... take care of this one thing myself... Not only would it prove I was strong, but he could never tell anyone about Mike. Corey would never find out.

I was so confused. So scared but unwilling to go home.

I slowed my walking as I reached a park. I was fine for now until I wanted to go home. He wouldn't do anything with people around.

'Except blow up a fuel station.' Even though he was right, my wolf was beginning to annoy me, and I wished I could block him out like I did everyone else.

"We won't go to a station then," I muttered to myself while walking into a convenience store and heading straight to the counter. "A pack of those and a lighter, please," I said, pointing behind the cashier as soon as I reached him, ignoring the growl that echoed through my head afterwards.

The cashier grabbed the box I had pointed to before pausing as his eyes ran over me.

"Aren't you a little young for this?" he asked.

"Do you want the money or not?" I asked, impatiently holding the money out to him.

He chuckled as he took it and gave me the box.

"Careful how you use them!" he called as I walked out. I rolled my eyes. I didn't need to be careful. The only way I would die because of too much smoking was probably if I smoked for more than a hundred and fifty years, every single day, a pack or five a day.

I began to take out a cigarette after leaving the store but paused at the thought of another adult commenting about it. I sighed, walking into an alleyway close by and lighting the cigarette. I shut my eyes, inhaling deeply as I leaned against the wall before watching as I blew out a heavy white cloud that seemed to have a lot of my stress mixed into it.

It made me wonder how I had quit smoking the first time, given that the stress and worry had never gone away. I began to move my hand back towards my lips to take another drag but paused as a voice interrupted the silence around me.

"Does your mother know you smoke?"

*****

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