Chapter 18: Bossalicious Bad Boy: Chapter 18

I walk into my office, the room feeling emptier than usual. The absence of Clara’s laughter and the light she brings with her every day is palpable. I know she didn’t come in today because of the awkward tension between us yesterday — and I know it’s my fault.

‘Get it together, Alex,’ I mutter to myself as I sit down at my desk, trying to focus on the mounting pile of paperwork. I can’t shake the image of Clara from my mind – her soft smile, the way she tilts her head when she’s deep in thought. What is this strange pull towards her that I feel? She’s my employee, for God’s sake.

I rub my temples, feeling the weight of confusion pressing down on me. I’ve never had a problem separating work from personal life before, but with Clara, it’s different. I’m different. My chest tightens at the thought of her not returning to work, leaving an indelible void in my daily routine.

As I try to refocus on the tasks at hand, I can’t help but feel a strange mix of relief and hope. Somehow, knowing that James is there for me makes the weight of my confusion a little more bearable. And with that thought, I dive back into my work, determined to push through the day and figure out how to navigate my feelings for Clara in a way that’s both respectful and honest.

The hours pass, and I find myself feeling more at peace than I have in days. Yes, the road ahead will be uncertain, but with the support of my brother and the clarity that comes with self-reflection, I know that I can face whatever lies ahead – head-on.

I fidget in my office chair, tapping my pen against the polished mahogany desk. The sound echoes in the otherwise silent room, only emphasizing my restlessness. I glance at Clara’s empty workspace through the glass wall separating our offices, and a pang of guilt washes over me.

Deep down, I know my feelings for Clara are growing stronger each day, but I can’t help but fear that pushing her too hard may cause her to slip through my fingers completely.

‘Maybe I should give her space… or maybe I should reach out?’ I ponder, weighing my options as I waver between wanting to protect her and wanting to pursue her.

The door to my office swings open, and James strides in, his brows furrowed in concern. ‘What’s with you today?’ he inquires, perching on the edge of my desk. ‘You’ve been pacing your office like a caged tiger.’

‘Have I?’ I ask, rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment.

‘Is it Clara?’ James ventures, his voice laced with understanding. He knows me well enough to pick up on the smallest cues, and I can’t deny the truth in his words.

‘Is it that obvious?’ I sigh, running a hand through my hair.

‘Only to someone who knows you as well as I do,’ he says, studying me intently. ‘But seriously, Alex, we need to talk about this. You’re not doing yourself any favors by bottling up your emotions.’

‘Alright,’ I relent, realizing the futility of trying to hide my feelings from my brother. ‘I’m just worried, James. I don’t want to push Clara away by coming on too strong, but I also don’t want to let her think I’m not interested.’

‘Look, you can’t control how Clara will react to your feelings,’ James advises, his voice steady and reassuring. ‘But what you can control is how you approach the situation. Be honest with her, but gentle. And remember, there’s a fine line between giving space and neglecting someone entirely.’

His words resonate with me, and I find myself nodding in agreement. As much as I fear making mistakes, I know I must face my emotions head-on if I ever hope to understand them fully.

I lean against the edge of my desk, crossing my arms over my chest as I stare blankly at the floor. The silence in my office is deafening, save for the soft hum of the air conditioner and the occasional tapping of James’ fingers on the back of the chair he’s resting on. My mind is a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, all centering around Clara.

‘Okay,’ James begins, his voice soothing and patient. ‘Why don’t you tell me what it is that’s bothering you so much about this situation? What are you most afraid of?’

I let out a slow breath, forcing myself to put my thoughts into words. ‘I guess… I’m scared of pushing her away, of coming off too strong or possessive. But at the same time, I don’t want to just sit back and do nothing.’

James nods, encouraging me to continue. ‘And what makes you think that pursuing her will push her away?’ He asks, his question gentle yet probing. ‘Alex, do you respect her? Her feelings, her boundaries, everything that makes her who she is?’ James asks, his eyes searching mine for the truth.

‘Of course I do,’ I reply without hesitation.

‘Then that’s your answer,’ James says with a warm smile. ‘If you approach this with genuine care and respect, you’re already ahead of those who have hurt her in the past. Just remember, communication is key.’

His words make sense, and I feel the tight knot of anxiety in my chest begin to loosen. It’s true – if I show Clara that I truly do care for her and respect her, then perhaps there’s hope for me after all.

‘Listen,’ James adds, his voice sincere. ‘You’re a good man – one of the best I know. And while I can’t guarantee that everything will work out with Clara, I believe you have a real chance at happiness if you’re willing to take the risk.’

‘Thank you, James,’ I say softly, my heart swelling with gratitude. ‘I just… I don’t want to mess this up.’

‘None of us do,’ he replies, placing a hand on my shoulder in a gesture of brotherly support. ‘But sometimes, the only way to find out is to take the leap and see where it leads.’

As my brother leaves my office, I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling a newfound sense of clarity and determination. It’s time for me to face my emotions head-on and pursue my feelings for Clara with honesty and respect. And whatever the outcome may be, at least I’ll know I gave it my all.

I stand by the window, taking a deep breath and feeling the newfound confidence coursing through me. James’ advice still echoes in my mind, empowering me to take action and face the feelings I’ve been wrestling with.

‘Alright, Alex,’ I say to myself, steeling my nerves. ‘You can do this. Just talk to Clara like she’s a friend – because she is.’

I turn away from the window and stride towards the door, my steps determined and purposeful. As I reach for the handle, a sudden rush of gratitude washes over me, and I know I have to thank James before I embark on this emotional journey.

‘James!’ I call out as I step into the hallway, spotting him just down the corridor. He turns at the sound of my voice, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

‘Hey, what’s up?’ he asks, walking back towards me with a casual grin.

‘Listen, I just wanted to say thanks,’ I say, looking him straight in the eye. ‘Your advice means more than you know, and I’m going to follow it. I’m going to talk to Clara and be open and honest about my feelings.’

‘Good for you, Alex,’ James replies, clapping me on the shoulder. ‘Remember to be true to yourself, and don’t be afraid to take risks. That’s how we grow, right?’

‘Right.’ I nod, feeling the weight of his words settling in my chest. ‘Thanks again, James. I won’t forget this.’

‘Anytime, little brother,’ he says with a wink before sauntering away.

As I watch him leave, my thoughts drift back to Clara, and the conversation that awaits us. My heartbeat quickens, but instead of feeling panicked, I feel an exhilarating sense of anticipation. For the first time in a long while, I feel ready to face the unknown and embrace whatever comes my way – all because I know that I won’t be facing it alone.

‘Here goes nothing,’ I murmur under my breath, turning on my heel and heading towards Clara’s office. With each step, I feel more and more resolute, knowing that no matter the outcome, I’m doing what’s right for both of us. And as I reach out to knock on her door, I can only hope that she’ll see just how much she means to me – and maybe, just maybe, she’ll feel the same way too.

A warm, golden light spills through the window as the sun begins to dip lower in the sky. The faint hum of the office slowly dissipates as coworkers trickle out for the evening. I lean back in my chair, my fingers drumming absently on the desk. My heart swells with gratitude for James and his unwavering support. For the first time in what feels like ages, I’m eager to pursue something important – and that something is Clara.

‘Alright, Alex,’ I whisper to myself, ‘it’s now or never.’ I stand up, my legs feeling both solid and shaky at the same time. My hands dust off imaginary lint from my shirt as I prepare to face my emotions head-on.

‘Hey, Alex!’ James calls out to me as he passes by my office. I can see the satisfaction in his eyes – the knowledge that he’s helped me find my way.

‘Thanks again, James,’ I say, giving him a genuine smile. ‘I mean it.’

‘Go get ’em, Tiger,’ he says with a grin, offering a playful punch to my shoulder. ‘And remember, honesty and respect are your best friends right now.’

‘Got it,’ I nod, taking a deep breath.

‘Good luck, brother,’ James says before heading towards the elevator.