Chapter 30 - Nikolaos

As soon as the doctor gave me the all-clear, I moved Mia back to my territory. Josef and the missing

warriors are nowhere to be seen, but I know he’s already at Mikhail's side. His father claimed not to

know why he became a traitor, while Maxim thinks Mikhail fed on Josef's insecurities.

How the fuck would he have done that, though? How long has he been placed here as a spy?

Giovanni begged to see her, to see both of us but I declined; it's his fucking fault she’s in this

position. I warned him that it wouldn't be wise to antagonize Mikhail, but did he listen? This has

now escalated the war in my territory and I know the only way to end it would be by killing Mikhail.

However, as much as I want to put all the blame on Giovanni, I know this is more my fault than his. I

placed Josef with her, I trusted him to protect her, and I'm the one who made sure he was

constantly at her side.

I'm the one who made her trust him.

/“He hid it all well, old friend. Don't blame yourself,”/ Knox says, shaking his head. /“But remember,

we have her to focus on now; so let's do that instead of pointing fingers.”/

I sigh and hang my head in my hands, knowing that he’s simply trying to help. He's right, I have to

focus on her, focus on what our next step could be, and how to enact my vengeance. Giovanni has

already banished Mikhail and severed their ties, so there's no big backup from him.

"Abbot's dead,” Maxim says as he walks into my bedroom. “So are Marjorie and Anna. Josef's scent

is all over that fucking house which means he killed his family.”

“Fuck sakes,” I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Here I thought Mikhail might have blackmailed

him with the lives of his family, I guess not.”

Maxim nods. “Well, he was always hungry for his father's approval and-"

"Hungry dogs are never loyal, they go to whoever dangles a shred of meat in front of their foaming

mouths,” I growl, still fucking pissed off with myself for trusting Josef. But who can you fucking trust

if not your own family?

Maxim and three of my warriors were out combing our borders, looking for intel but have come

back with no news every time. There has to be a way, though; this can't all be for naught.

“I'll get back out there, but I might be away for longer this time; we're going over the border,” he

says and gives me a nod before he leaves.

I can do nothing but sit at her bedside and wait for her to wake up. It's been nearly a month since

the attack, and although she has healed fully and is being fed, she hasn't woken up. Lilah isn't sure

what could be wrong, since Mia is healthy and so is the baby - in fact, her baby bump has grown

"She might be stopping herself from returning,” Lilah had said. “Where she is right now could be

better than what she has to come back to.”

“Mia, I know we said that we'd go our separate ways after the baby is born and I promised to keep

my distance because I thought it would be the best for you, but I think..we need to revise that,” I

say.

There's an unreadable look on her face; she bites her bottom lip and her heart sounds like it's

fluttering. The silence is killing me, not knowing what she’s thinking or if she has changed her mind

about me. I know I felt the attraction from her, even more so when I kissed her in the pool.

But what if her feelings have changed?

She stares at her hands clasped in mine, then she exhales. “Before you think you want this with me,

before you think I'm some beautiful and perfect little doll, I need to show you something. Please

help me stand.”

My heart sinks; what is she talking about?

I don't just help her stand, I swoop her into my arms. Her giggle makes me smile in turn and I ask,

“Where are we going?”

She worries that bottom lip between her teeth again. “The bathroom,” she simply says.

When we get there, I put her down but she's a bit unsteady on her feet. Shaking her head, she gives

me that odd smile again before speaking.

“You're aware of what Mikhail has done to me over these past few years; but even while the worst of

my scars are internal, the ones he left on my skin will always make me feel ruined,” she says.

I frown; there are a few scars I've seen on her arms and legs. Does she feel self-conscious about

those?

“Mia, you'll always be-"

She places a finger over my lips and shakes her head. “Listen; this isnt about how you perceive me,

but how I perceive myself. This is my shame, Nikolaos, this is what I always have to live with.”

She pulls her dress over her head and stands naked in front of me, then her face reddens and she

slowly turns her back to me.

I suck in a sharp breath when I see what she means. Hundreds upon hundreds of healed whip marks

scar her back, running from her neck to right over the swell of her ass. The scar tissue seemed to

have healed over each other, indicating that silver tips were attached to the whip itself.

This is why she always covers herself, even when she goes swimming.

Fury, ice cold burning fury, surges through my veins at the sight of her back, knowing what she’s

been through at the hands of the man I want to rip limb from limb. Yes, I'll get my fucking revenge

for what he’s done, but right now Mia doesn’t need my fury.

I close the distance between us and run my fingers over the rough, raised edges before placing

gentle kisses over the scars she deems her shame. She stiffens at my touch and shudders as I kiss

her.

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I put my hands on her stomach and kiss the nape of her neck.

“You're still as beautiful as the day I saved you, kouneldki,” I murmur into her neck. “You may think

these scars have ruined you, but all I see is what you've survived for so many years.”

A sob ripples through her and I turn her around, cupping her face. “You'll always be beautiful to me,

but as you said, this isn't about what I think. I promise to spend the rest of my life showing you just

how beautiful you are until you believe it.”

Her bottom lip trembles and tears cascade freely down her cheeks. “The rest of your life?” she says

through her tears and I nod, smiling at her.

“The rest of my life, I told you I'm done pushing this down,” I say, wiping her tears away. “I'm ready

to tell you about my past, ready to take this step with you...if you're willing to walk this path with

me."

She shakes her head and I nearly shatter. “Why? Why do you want this with me now?"

“Mia, you died in my arms. I heard your heart stop and mine stopped that day too...It took you

dying for me to realize that I don't want to live without you.” I say, hoping it gets through to her.

She remains quiet and I sigh. “I want to spend my life with you, *vasilissa mou, but in order for me

to do that, I need to tell you...about them.” I say, feeling close to throwing up just thinking about

reliving my shame.

She narrows her eyes at me. “Them?”

“Them...the reason I don't like being touched. The reason...I wanted to stay away from you,” I say,

swallowing deeply and a cold sweat covers my body.

Flashes of their faces, their voices, green eyes like me, dark hair like me...It feels like I am suffocating,

but I need to do this.

“I need to tell you what my mother and her sister did to me.”