Chapter 35- Thinking Out Loud

Chapter 35 - Thinking Out Loud

Kim's POV

I groggy walk down the stairs one morning, still trying to decide if getting out of bed was a good idea. Damn Asher, he woke me up around six with all his ruckus and noise, leaving early in the morning so my parents wouldn't notice that he stayed over the night. I don't know why he worries about it now, it's not like my mom cared. Maybe it was because in the back of his head he knew things were different. I guess I just figured things would go back to the way they were before.

Christmas had gone by fast, and so did the party, and in a few days it would be New Years. We didn't do anything special for New Years, after dealing with Christmas just so soon ago we just threw a normal party at the house and ordered lots of Chinese food. Before food even came Asher and I would already head out to go to a different party.

"Your father and I need to talk to you." Mom explained leaning against the kitchen counter.

I slowly took a seat on a stool on the other side watching my mother with careful eyes, "Well what is it?" Nervous about what they wanted to talk about. Did we Asher and I get caught? Did my mom see my Louboutins in the closet? Damn! I knew I should have hid them better-

"Well we we're thinking. Every year we do the same thing after Christmas." My mother starts off.

"Yeah, sit in front of the TV all day eating left over desserts and napping." I explain further. She giggles, nodding her head and continues.

"Well yes. So that's why your father and I decided that instead of that we should go visit New York. Go out to parties or events, ice skate in Madison Garden, and watch the ball drop while celebrities stand on that huge platform talking to Ryan Secrest! Don't you think that'll be fun!"

I grimace give her my 'I don't care much' look. Truth is-that she didn't know- the first year when Asher and I got our license we snuck over the NY boarder and did all that New Year's stuff with some other friends. It was a great time, we all loved it, but doing that with my parents wouldn't be the same.

Plus, my mother staying out past eight o'clock at night to watch a disco ball slide down a pole a few feet in the negative degree weather- that's like spotting Bigfoot in the woods. Or pretty much any sighting of Bigfoot.

"Aw come on, don't give me that look. I know you want to come- or no that's not it, you want to invite your friends too, huh? Well you can bring Katie and Asher along if they'd like." Mom settles.

"It's not that mom, it's just, it's not me. New York, New Years Eve, crowds of people, ehh." I said balancing my waving hands, "I pass, I rather stay home."

"What?! Kimberly Ann, is there something wrong with you? Parties, 'not my thing' please." Mom says, waving a dismissing hand at me, "George, are you hearing this?" She shouts from the kitchen to the living room.

"I'm hearing, she's old enough to choose what she wants. If she wants to stay home and miss all the fun, then sucks to be her." My dad says, voicing in his opinion loudly enough to hear it.

"OK, OK then stay home if you want. I think you're responsible enough, but you know the rules: no throwing parties, no doing stupid things, no drinking, no sex-"

"OK, yeah, I know, thanks mom. Got that cleared out a long time ago." I say, interrupting her quickly.

"Just so we're clear on that." My mother warned again, wagging a finger at me.

"Crystal clear." I confirmed.

"So I guess it's only going to be your father, Nick, and I. Whenever you want to come though just drive over or take the train, if you changed your mind. We leave tomorrow." She tells me, grabbing her mug off the counter.

"Alright then." I agree.

She nods her head, offering another mug to me, "Great. Want some breakfast?"

*****

"Bye guys, have fun! Drive safe!" I shout out to the driveway, waving my hand to my parents and Nick.

"Bye Kimberley, take care of the house!" Mom cries out, waving too.

"No boys aloud!" My dad shouts giving me a warning look. What my dad doesn't know won't kill him.

They slam the trunk close walking to the front of the car. Nick already in the back seat with headphones in his ears and playing a game.

"Call if you need anything." Mom says one last time before dad drives away. I stand at the front door in my PJs, fuzzy UGG boots, and a long blue, thin, sleeping cardigan. In other words I looked like a total bum, all I need was my glasses to look like a nerd or a book worm.

I waited in the doorway a couple of more minutes before he arrived. Like I said what my dad doesn't know won't kill him. Of course I would invite Ash over after knowing my parents are leaving for the long weekend. When I told Asher he was more trilled than I was!

Being with Asher, everything just felt right about it- aside from me cheating on Spencer, but other than that- it was like we were meant to be, like he was my other half, my soul mate, my missing puzzle piece, the peanut to my butter, the sun to my shine, -and of course- the pain in my ass. I'm a lucky girl to have a guy like him, because if we were playing match maker, Asher would be way out of my league, he still is. Things like this are impossible, me ending up with a guy like him, it's like God is giving me a personal gift from heaven.

"Hey beautiful." He smiled, that dazzling smile every girl fell over for. He picked me up from my waist, my feet off the ground, pressing our chests together, mere inches away from touching lips.

"Really? I look like a bum." I say to him doubtfully.

"Well if that's what you call bumming it, then you can pull it off perfectly." He compliments kissing the tip of my nose.

"Well thank you." I smile, wrapping my arms around his neck to give him a hug.

"Now let's bring you inside before you freeze." He offers walking me inside. Which was a good idea because I was getting a little cold. He plopped us both down on the sofa lying on his back so I was on top of him. His hands didn't move from waist, and my hands didn't untwine from his neck.

"Awkward position but I think I can allow it." I smirk, feeling his hands slowly run down my back. He snickers, bringing one hand up to my face to cup my cheek, so he could bring my head down to kiss him right on the lips. His lips tasted sweet, sweet like chocolaty sweet. I pulled his face down narrowing my eyes at him. "Why do you taste...chocolaty?"

He closes his eyes and chuckles to himself, "Nothing gets past you, huh?" He laughs pinching my cheeks, "You're so cute when you think." I look at him with a slightly humored smile, but still narrowing my eyes in curiosity, "OK, OK, I took Shay and Bay snow tubing then went to Dunkin' for hot chocolate. Satisfied?"

"I want to go snow tubing!" I exclaim, moving so that I sat on his stomach.

"I promise to take you out on our own snow day. Just you and me." He proclaims, resting his hands on my legs.

"With hot chocolate from Dunkin'?" I question with a raised eye brow.

"I'll do better. Starbucks." He negotiates. I smile at him lovingly nodding my head frantically. "It's a date then." He mutters quietly, leaning up so that he was hovering over my

My eyes widened a little, as if thinking about it all clicked in and made what was happening all the more real, "Yeah, our first date." I whisper back. We stayed quiet for a moment looking at each other until we got bored.

The sudden change in his expression had him question me though, "What are you thinking about?" He asks, tucking a strand of my hair away.

I didn't want to ruin the moment, but it was something I knew I was going to have to bring back up. The text from Spencer, the whole 'I'm still going out with Spencer so whatever we're doing is wrong' explanation. Moments like this, when I'm like this with Asher and then my mind has a moment to think, it reminds me of how disrespectful I'm being to Spencer, how horrible of a girlfriend I'm being.

With Asher's awaiting glare, I turn my lips into a grin, running my hand down his arm, "Just a lot on my mind." I tell him. Which wasn't a lie, nor the full truth, but I knew it's come back around.

"Movie marathon then?" He asks, letting the conversation rest. "I'll pop the popcorn." He tells me, patting my leg in indication that he needed me to get off of him in order to move.

"We're just a couple of crazy kids now, aren't we?" I joke, grabbing the blanket from the basket at the end of the couch.

"So crazy I'm letting you pic the movie." He jokes, laughing all the way to the kitchen. I shake my head, flipping through the channels to see if anything interesting was on before moving onto Netflix.

*****

We are a couple of crazy teenagers. So crazy, we spent our time watching kid's movies like Smurfs, Underdog, and Despicable Me. Yeah, crazy, but eventually we got bored of the kids movies, and hungry. So we figured out what we were in the mood for and started cooking in the kitchen. It was cute I have to admit, seeing Asher in the kitchen only being able to stir soup because everything else he had no clue about. Actually, he was a mean carrot peeler helper. I'll give credit when it's due.

It was late at night now. Movie marathon moved up to my bedroom only because I wanted to shower. I felt grimy being in PJs all day, a shower felt well needed. Asher had the same idea, but decided to wait to shower until after his chocolate peanut butter chip fudge brownies were ready. I swear those brownies are like his form of crack.

I lied on my back, slumping onto my pillow on my bed, watching Modern Family until Asher got out so we could start watching Dark Knight Rises. It was time to watch interesting grown up movies now. The shower shut off and I could hear Asher's hum a little louder and clearer. He got out with only a towel wrapped around his waistband, dripping wet. I looked at him while biting on my nails, his chest, his toned stomach, biceps and muscles; now I know I made the greatest choice.

"Checking me out, Taylor?" He teases walking into my closet smirking.

"No harm in something so innocent, right?" I reply smiling, looking back to the TV. I saw him from the corner of my eye looking at me. I smirk, keeping my eyes glued to the TV. "Checking me out, Knight?"

"Hell yes." He answers with no shame. All I had was one of his t-shirts that fit me like a night gown, a bra and underwear. My hair was still damp, and I just had shaved my legs so they were smoother than silk. He crawled over the bed, still only wrapped in a towel, hovering over me, droplets of water falling off his body and hair on me.

"Ash." I warn, staring at him straight in the eyes, as his head dipped down furthered to my face.

He paused, hovering over my still body, watching my face. He stared into my eyes, searching me, understanding that I didn't want to do what was on his mind. "I can wait." He said softly, kissing my cheek gently.

I nod my head slowly placing my hand on his chest to push him off. I didn't want to throw myself at Asher so quickly, we've only been "going out" for a few days. I still feel like his best friend, and he still feels like he's just my best friend too. More towards best friends with benefits, but still to me, we're going too fast if that was already on his mind.

I want to enjoy what we're doing now. Wrong or right, a part of me didn't care. I waited too long for this moment to happen. If that's all Asher wants out of me then I'm stupid for believing he wanted a real relationship with me. I would think he's a better person than that.

I believe that God- or whoever or whatever you believe in- puts people in your life for a reason. Whether it's for good or for bad. To make you smile or to make you cry. To teach you lesson and experience the highs and lows in life. People that will love you, hurt you, help you, leave you, doubt you, or inspire you; they're all in your life for a reason. They all play a key role in your life.

God gave me Asher to enjoy life, to have an impact in my life. Of course he sometimes makes me cry, hurts me, angers me, but he always love me, and always find a way to make me happy. He makes me realize the mistakes I make, like me flunking physics and how I was getting out of line. He makes me a better person, and because of that....

I love him.

It was quarter past one before I could feel my eye lids start drooping down, heavy with exhaustion. The movie Snow White and the Huntsman was playing now. Even though I saw it with Spencer already, Asher still hadn't seen it and wanted to watch it. I wasn't even paying attention to it really. I was in and out of a daze think over some things that needed to be in consideration.

"Want to sleep now?" Ash whispers rubbing my arm.

I nod my head lightly, sliding down into the bed. He shut the TV off making the room pitch black, only a bit of moon light streaming in. I roll around the bed for a moment just to end up sitting up in bed with my arms crossed over my chest.

"What's the matter, babe?" He asks with concern in his voice, rubbing my back. "What's been bugging you all day?"

"Ash, you know I... About Spencer. You know I'm going to need to tell him eventually, right?" I murmur into the dark, scared to hear his voice or even look at him. I figured he wouldn't take hearing that name too lightly.

He sighs, though, sitting up next to me, shoulder to shoulder. We were going to need to talk about this eventually. I wasn't just going to leave it alone, or forget about it. Spencer needs to know the right way, so that he won't be as mad to me. "Yeah. I know."

"I just don't know how to tell him." I say honestly shaking my head.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair, sounding a bit irritated, "You got to do what you got to do. If that means calling him right now and telling him, then so be it. If that means going behind his back and waiting for him to mess up so you have an excuse to break up with him, then OK do it too. But you've got to do it your way and when you're ready." I rolled my eyes on that last one, turning the corner of my lips up slightly in amusement only because Asher would suggest something foolish like that.

"Even if I don't have all of you now, I wasn't going to spend a whole other year without you. I'm just happy that we both got what we needed to say off our chest and realized how much we really mean to each other. So, take the time and do it the way you think you need to do it. I'm not rushing you."

I was glad I talked to Asher about it. At first, I thought he would be mad and flip out at me, -talking about Spencer has never been an easy conversation- but he was so mellow with it. At least I could get that off my chest and take the time to figure things out, because I don't want to be the bitch that cheated on her boyfriend while he was away and dumped him like a hot potato for her best friend. It has to be done the right way.

"Thanks Ash." I say, giving him a closed mouth smile.

"Take all the time you need, 'kay?" He says as I nod to him still smiling, and he smiled back, "I love you."

"Love you too." I reply, kissing his cheek and laying back down on my side. Asher scooted closer, his arm wrapped around me, and probably hugging my pillow, but I'll let it slide since it's been awhile. "Good night." I whisper, pulling at the covers once more.

"Night Kimmy. Sweet dreams." He says back, kissing the back of my head. The both of us falling asleep.

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