Chapter 13

HAYLEY

I can’t seem to find my voice. How does he know about them? Are they searching for me? I don’t even realize what I’m saying until the words have already slipped out.

“No… Not them,” I manage to say, my voice trembling with fear.

“Are you sure? You won’t get into trouble if they did.”

Lies. I will be in trouble because I’m a murderer. They’ll send me back to the cells and force me to relive the past twelve years.

I want to tell him, but I don’t want him to leave me. The comfort he’s been providing these past few days has been like a dream, and I’m not ready to let go of that yet.

I’m just afraid that if I tell him, he’ll betray me like my old pack did.

I try to piece together a sentence that might save my life for the next few weeks and convince him that he’s got the wrong pack. “Not them... I know not them. Another pack... hurt me.”

A wave of guilt washes over me as I lie to him. I hate lying to my mate, but I need to protect myself first.

I’ve been on my own for the past twelve years, I have to be wary of others. They’re not always as kind as they appear to be.

What if I reveal all my secrets and sins and he ends up hating me? How could I live with myself then?

“Do you know who?” he asks, his voice filled with concern.

I shake my head. I try to steer him away from this topic and the first thing that comes to mind is, “I remember... I was wolf... but one day woke up and gone.”

“Gone? As in no longer with you?” I nod in response.

“How is that even possible? You can’t lose your wolf, they’re a part of you... So that’s why you had wolf scents on you when I first met you, and how you knew I was an alpha,” he muses.

I just sit there, not knowing what to say or do. He stares across the room, lost in thought.

I don’t want him to think about the Bloodnight Pack anymore because it could expose me, so I reach out and squeeze his hand twice. He looks at me and I whisper, “Sleep.”

He doesn’t respond, and I start to worry that he’s mad at me, but when I lie down, he follows suit, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him.

“Goodnight,” he murmurs.

I don’t respond as I’m already drifting off. There’s a reason Jax asked about the Bloodnight Pack. What does he know?

After a few hours, and countless thoughts later, I finally manage to fall asleep...

***

It’s now the afternoon and I’ve just finished my check-up. Tom said that I’ll now have weekly check-ups as I seem to be improving physically. Mentally though, I’m drained.

Last night when I couldn’t sleep, I was thinking about what would happen if my dad found me. How would I protect myself? I don’t want to live like this anymore.

It’s so frustrating that I can’t form a single sentence. I don’t want to feel constantly weak and unable to defend myself anymore. I’m tired of everything.

I want to be strong and be able to speak my mind instead of staying silent. The only way I can do that is if I change things. I won’t let fear and anxiety defeat me anymore.

My dad won’t defeat me. He doesn’t control me anymore. Enough is enough, I’m going to change things.

I’m going to give everything I have to everything I do from now on. I’ve suffered long enough, and it’s about time I live my life like a normal person. I owe it to myself.

I turn to Jax after my revelation with the biggest smile on my face.

He seems surprised and asks, “Why are you smiling? Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but did something happen to make you smile?”

“I’m happy,” I say, blushing slightly.

“Aww, baby. Come here,” he replies, opening his arms for me. I walk over to him and am enveloped by his comforting scent.

I feel completely at peace when he’s around me. He just has to be in the same room for me to feel calm and relaxed.

“Can I…ask…question?”

“Of course,” he says, looking down at me with love in his eyes.

“I want…to…fight,” I say confidently.

“Fight? Fight who?” he asks, confused. He tilts his head to the side and he looks like an adorable puppy. Without even realizing it, a laugh escapes from my lips.

Almost instantly his jaw drops and a small gasp escapes his lips. Then a huge grin spreads across his face. He lifts me into the air and swings me around, saying words I can’t make out.

“That’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh!” he exclaims.

Shyness takes over my confidence, but then I remember my new resolution and I lift my head with pride.

Every part of me doesn’t want to, but if I want to be a better me I need to change my ways.

He leans forward and places a gentle kiss on my forehead. Completely forgetting about my resolution, my head lowers, and a blush spreads across my body from head to toe.

He has this effect on me. He notices my awkwardness and goes back to what we were talking about.

“Who do you want to fight?” he asks seriously.

“No…learn…from you.”

“Ahh. You want to learn how to fight… I don’t know. Why do you need to learn? You have me. I will protect you,” he says, looking puzzled.

“Protect myself,” I say proudly.

He must have sensed that I wasn’t going to back down. “Fine. It will just be a one on one though. I will teach you, but you definitely won’t need it. I will protect you.”

I smile in gratitude.

“Right, I have to go to work, but Axton will be with you. I will be back at nine tonight. Make sure to have some lunch and take your tablet. I’ll see you soon,” he says.

But he stays where he is. He seems to be conflicted.

I cock my head to the side, puzzled, and he plants a quick kiss on the tip of my nose before darting out of the house. He leaves the door wide open for Axton to walk in.

“Hello, Luna,” Axton greets me, his smile wide and warm. He seems at ease around me already.

I wave my hands in a dismissive gesture and correct him, “Hayley... Just Hayley.”

“Alright, Just Hayley, what’s on the agenda for today?” His joke pulls a laugh from me. He’s nice, and I find myself surprisingly comfortable in his presence.

“Lunch... tablet... lesson... with you,” I respond, my voice laced with uncertainty.

“You definitely need those lessons,” he teases.

I pout, feeling a bit frustrated. “I'm joking,” he reassures me, nudging me playfully, “Let's grab some food, I'm starving...”

***

After we finish lunch and I grab my tablet, we head to the living room for my first lesson.

I’m already completely at ease with Axton. He’s quickly becoming my best friend—well, second to Jax, of course. Axton is hilarious and always cracking jokes.

We settle on the couch and Axton pulls out the largest book I’ve ever seen, along with several small boxes from under the coffee table.

“This is a dictionary,” he explains, waving the hefty book around, “and these are flashcards on different topics. Which one do you want to start with?” He lays out all the different options in front of me.

Not wanting to tackle the intimidating book, I choose one of the packs of flashcards. Since I can't read what the topics are, I pick one at random.

“Travel. Okay, let's see how this goes.”

He peels off the plastic wrap from the box and opens the lid. He sets it aside and pulls out a card from the box. Each card has a small illustration, the word spelled out, and its pronunciation.

“So, I'll show you how to say it normally, then I'll help you sound it out, then you'll write it down so you'll know how to spell it.

“There's a cartoon picture on top, so you know what we're talking about. Then I'll give you an example of how you could use it in a sentence. Does that sound okay?”

Eager to get started, I nod my head enthusiastically.

“First up is skateboard. Skateboard. Ss... kat... ate... boa... rd. ~Skateboard~. Now you try.”

“Skateboard. Ss... kate... ee... boa... rdeh. Skateboardeh.”

“No 'eh' at the end. Just skateboard.”

“Skateboard... eh,” I tease, just to mess with him.

He buries his face in his hands and groans, “This is going to be a long few months.”

I let out a giggle and then put on a serious face. He hands me a piece of paper and a pencil. “Try writing it down.”

And that’s how we spend the next several hours.

***

After going through nearly all the packs, I need a break. My head feels like it’s about to burst from all the new information I’m taking in. To unwind, I join Axton in looking for Lily, hoping for some fun...