𝚏𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

Dear Diary,

Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote those words. A lot has happened since the last time I sat down to collect my thoughts. For starters, I'm dead. Well, technically I'm not, but I feel dead. Speaking of feelings, I currently have none. My entire body is numb, I can't feel a single thing. Weird, right? Apparently ghosts can't feel human emotions, which totally sucks and is so rude. Anyway, I got into a terrible car accident, which scares me. I didn't feel a single thing, but the effects are very much relevant. Now, I'm stuck in my own piece of heaven with a boy named Grayson Dolan. He's.... Interesting to say the least. Okay, there's better words to describe him. He's mysterious, intense, attractive. He's stuck here with me and we've been getting to know each other. He called me beautiful, which still lingers in my mind. I don't know how to feel about him yet, this whole world confuses me. But the best part about it is seeing Hunter. Not only can I see him, I can talk to him. I know, it sounds insane. That's because it is. I feel weird, but not because I'm here. I feel weird because this world makes me feel light, not as dark. I have no idea what that means, but I have a feeling I'll figure it out sooner rather than later.

I rub my lips together, at least that's what I attempt to do, and look down at the page in front of me. The wind blows through my hair as I continue to sit down on the grass behind the cottage. I don't care if my white dress is getting green stains, this new spot that I discovered is beautiful.

I carefully read the words I have written. It is bad of me to say this place makes me feel light? No, one thing Hunter taught me at a young age is to never regret your feelings. Then why do they seem so wrong to write?

"Hope?" Grayson's familiar voice calls out to me.

I turn my head to look at the back door opening. He's stepping off of the patio and looking around for me.

"Right here." I quickly close the diary and rise to my feet.

He spots me and grins, before walking toward me. I don't know what to do. Should I meet him halfway? Should I stay standing?

My brain doesn't have time to decide because he's already approaching me. He keeps his hands in the pockets of his denim blue jeans. This seems like a scene straight out of a movie.

"What are you up to?" He's inches away from me, and I inhale a deep breath.

"Just writing in the diary." I hold the white material up.

He looks at it and nods. "I figured that. Have you seen Hunter today?"

"I actually haven't." My brother must be super busy in his own life. Sometimes I see him everyday, sometimes he stays quiet and doesn't stop by for a visit.

"How should I contact him?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"Honestly, I don't know." I begin to laugh at the thought. "Maybe just yell his name?"

Grayson smiles before cupping his hands around his mouth. "Hunter!"

"Hunter!" I repeat his words by yelling even louder.

"Yo, Hunt!" Grayson begins to laugh between his loud yelling.

"Hunter, get your ass over here!" I continue to scream.

"Woah, aggressive." Grayson looks down at me with a laugh.

"Sorry." I place my hand over my mouth.

"Don't be." He shakes his head. "Guess he's not around."

"What do you mean not around? Where else would he be?"

"Do you think heaven has cooler things to do because there's so many people? Like a mall." Grayson's entire face lights up.

"A mall?" I laugh at his crazy idea.

"Yeah, don't you think? Or maybe they all live in little cottages that are in the middle of a large sunflower field." His smirk causes me to grin again.

"I think they live in mansions."

"Mansions? Wow, you're getting fancy, H."

"H?" I raise an eyebrow up at him.

"Can I call you that?" The corners of his mouth are curving upwards the more this conversation continues.

"Uh, I guess." I shrug, not knowing what else to say. "Nobody has ever called me a letter before."

"I think it's cool." Grayson tilts his head.

"You seem to be in a good mood." I point out.

"Yeah, surprisingly. I think this place is growing on me. I don't feel emotional or heavy, because I feel numb."

"Yeah, you're supposed to feel at peace, that's what heaven is all about."

"I never really believed in heaven." He randomly says.

"Really?" I question, knowing my answer doesn't match up with his.

"I always assumed after we die, we just disappear into nothing."

"That's kind of sad." I can't help but chuckle. "I always thought you would see that white light, and then you would be greeted by your loved ones. Like the titanic."

"The titanic? What does that have to do with it?" He gives me an odd expression.

"That's what happens at the end of the movie. Rose dies and then she's greeted by Jack in heaven." I explain the ending, since he's looking at me as if I have seven heads.

"Wow, thanks for spoiling it for me." He gasps, placing his hand on his chest.

"Oh, please. Like you actually cared about the titanic." I roll my eyes.

"True, you got me there." He laughs again.

I don't give a straight comment back, I'm still trying to think of what to say next. "So, what did you need Hunter for?"

"Oh, I wanted to check on my parents. Since they're in Washington, I wanted to see how they were doing." His voice lowers.

"Oh, right." I feel dumb for asking such an obvious question.

"Sorry if I've been acting so manic since we've been here. I'm usually the one freaking out and I'm normally not like that it's-"

"Grayson, it's fine. You're fine." I cut him off with a sigh. "You are in complete and total shock, its normal."

"The shock is starting to wear off. Seeing my parents feel guilty for my asshole behavior really got to me." He looks down at the grass.

"They just miss you." I keep my eyes on him.

"But I was such an asshole. I was constantly fighting with them and now it might be too late to fix the mess I created."

"I tried to get Hunter to put you back, but he still said it's not time yet."

"Oh, you did?" His voice steadies as his eyes shift from the grass to my face.

"Yeah, I can tell how much you need your family. I'm sorry it can't be done yet." I gulp, studying his face.

"Hopefully soon." He whispers while also taking in my delicate features.

We stare at each other for a few moments, and I still have no clue what he's thinking. His eyes eventually move down to the white journal that's in my hand.

"So, what did you write about?" He nods toward it.

"Oh, just the basic stuff." I stutter.

Yeah, like calling you mysterious, intense, and attractive. You know, basic!

"Like?" He muses.

"Like how it's weird to be here, but how it's nice to be able to see Hunter."

"Oh, so you didn't write anything about me?" The smirk that appears on his face makes me confused.

Does he want me to write about him? Because I did, he just doesn't know it. God, I am so crossing out the part where I called him attractive.

"Nope." I shake my head. I guess being half dead made me a full liar.

"You sure about that?" He takes a small step closer.

I stumble backwards a bit, trying to give us a slight distance. "Yeah, I'm sure." I continue to lie. I would be mortified if he found out what I wrote about him.

"Okay, I believe you." He throws his hands up, as if he was surrendering to my own answer.

"Sorry to disappoint." I boldly go back at him.

He raises a quick eyebrow up, his little smirk dancing across his lips. "You didn't."

"Okay, uh, cool." I awkwardly grin, allowing the deep indent of my dimples to shine.

His eyes begin to shift from my face to the scenery behind me. I see his facial expression change as his eyes shine with happiness. "Is that a butterfly?"

"What?" I turn around, seeing a bright blue butterfly a few feet away from us.

"Woah, that's so cool." Grayson's voice drops as he goes to walk over to the floating creature.

I haven't seen any animals in this universe. Following his lead, we begin to head toward the butterfly. It starts to move away, and before I can even blink, there's about ten of them flying around us.

"There's more." I gasp, looking around me.

"They're everywhere." Grayson whispers, watching them surround us.

"It's beautiful." I say while keeping my eyes pinned on them.

"This is so random. We've been here for awhile and haven't noticed them."

I nod in agreement, but I don't think he saw me. He's too mesmerized by the army of blue butterflies surrounding us. They're suddenly everywhere.

"Where did they come from?" His strong voice asks while masking a laugh.

"I don't know." I softly answer as I continue to watch the free creatures surround us.

I turn my body, causing Grayson and I to stand directly in front of each other. He looks down at me with a happy smile while I begin to squeal with excitement.

I quickly realize that there aren't just ten butterflies circling around us, there's about fifty at this point. The sight seems unreal.

"Holy crap." Grayson says, his eyes wildly following their movements.

A gust of wind picks up, and suddenly the butterflies are closing in on the two of us. They circle around our bodies in a quick speed. I can barely see the scenery around me, all my orbs can focus on is the bright, vibrant blue colors of the butterflies.

They begin pushing Grayson and I together like a magnet. Without even knowing it, my feet are slowly stepping toward him. He's unconsciously doing the same thing. I immediately squeeze my eyes shut and allow the strong force of the wind to push my body forward.

The sound of the air swirling around me abruptly stops, and my eyes reopen. I loudly gasp once my body is pressed up against Grayson's. He has his hand placed on my lower back. I look around me, and the beautiful butterflies have completely disappeared.

Moving my head up, my breathing hitches once Grayson's face is inches from mine. He's staring down at me with dark yet determined eyes.

"You okay?" His voice is barely audible due to how low it is.

I nod, not knowing how to formulate any words. My eyes continue to stare into his, getting lost in his soul. That's when I feel it.

Boom boom. Boom boom.

It was only for two beats, but it was there. My heart pounding against my chest. I felt my heart beat for the first time, even if it was for two quick seconds.

"Hope?" Grayson finally removes his hand from my lower back.

A coldness washes through my body from the lack of contact on my skin. I look back up at him and gulp, waiting to feel my heart beat again. But it doesn't.

"Is everything okay?" He asks again, his voice strong with worry.

"Uh, yes." I finally snap out of my trace.

Clearly he didn't feel any of his body parts, he probably would have said something. He also probably accidentally put his hand on my lower back. After all, he can't feel what he's doing.

"Are you sure?" He slowly asks.

"Yeah, uh, sorry." I snap out of my daze and take a step backwards.

"At least the sunflower didn't fall out of your hair." He says with a low chuckle.

My hand instantly goes to my hair, even though it's impossible to feel. Inhaling a sharp breath, I look around the field. The wind has subsided and the butterflies have vanished into thin air.

"That was weird, wasn't it? We practically just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies." Grayson laughs, also looking around.

"Yeah, they all came out of nowhere." I nod, trying not to look at him too much.

"Maybe we should go inside." He mutters.

I can feel his eyes pinned on me. Simply nodding my head, I start to walk toward the cottage. Grayson trails behind me, allowing the silence to consume us.

Once we're in our safe haven, he turns to look at me. "Hope?"

"Yeah?" I look at him.

"Don't tell anyone, but I kind of like this place."

His words slightly concern me, but I simply nod in agreement. "So do I."