Twenty-Eight Fish

Perhaps we could have been rather happy together by now, Yuel caught himself thinking for the tenth or so time. He had a feeling he wouldn't do too well on his exams from the moment he woke up this morning, and he was right. It was simply impossible to focus when half of the "we" that kept lingering in his mind was sitting right in front of him. The students sat in alphabetical order for the midterms, meaning Yang Edin and Ye Yuel were stuck together once again.

"I think this is what people call fate."

Yuel recalled Edin saying that when they got their seats assigned for the semester. He scoffed at the idea back then, but now he was starting to believe it—

"Alright, pencils down," the teacher said as the bell rang. "Last person in each row, collect the answer sheets and bring them forward."

Yuel looked down at his test paper, specifically at the last long answer question he completely neglected to finish. He could have sworn he had a full ten minutes left to work on it. Where did the time go? As if to answer that question, the very reason for Yuel losing track of time turned around in his seat.

"How was the Korean exam?"

"Okay, I guess," Yuel mumbled, quickly passing his answer sheet to the student who was collecting it from his row.

Edin handed in his answers, too. "What did you write for the last question?"

"Oh... Uh, I ran out of time..."

...Because I was too distracted by you. Yuel didn't dare to finish that sentence out loud. He couldn't even believe what he was thinking right now.

Yuel awkwardly cleared his throat and asked, "Did you finish your test?"

"I got stuck on the last question for a while, but I managed to finish it just in time."

I guess I wasn't distracting him at all—

"I brought the answer key," Euiheon said as he began to write out all the answers for the two exams today on the chalkboard for his classmates to see.

Yuel let out a sigh of relief when Edin turned back around to face the front of the classroom. Perhaps that long dream last night had messed with his head. This entire morning, all he could seem to focus on was that one boy.

And it really showed when Yuel finished grading his tests through the answers he marked on his question sheets. He looked at the two numbers he wrote down on the top of his Korean History and Korean exams. An 85 and an 89. This was the first time Yuel scored below a 90 in his entire high school career.

There was definitely something not right about him today. But it wasn't because of his noticeable drop in grades. Rather, it was because he couldn't even afford to feel disappointed about it as his emotions were all focused on something—someone else.

"How did you do?" Edin asked.

The second their eyes met, Yuel looked down. This brought Edin's gaze down to Yuel's question sheets.

"N-Not as good as I expected," Yuel said, quickly folding the papers and putting them in his backpack. "I thought I'd score at least a 90..."

"Aw, fuck yeah! A 50 in Korean History and a 65 in Korean! I am a genius!" Hamin shouted from his seat at the front of the classroom. He had never seen scores this high in his life.

Hamin's triumphant roar caught Yuel off guard and made him chuckle. He was glad to see that Edin and his tutoring seemed to have helped. At least that was one person who was happy with his grades.

"You have a really pretty smile."

"H-Huh?" Yuel blurted out, immediately switching back to his default neutral expression, albeit with a hint of embarrassment.

"I wish you'd show it more," Edin said, showing what Yuel considered to be the real pretty smile.

"Whatever..."

"So, you're going to go home and study today, right?"

"Ye—" Yuel paused before he could finish the word. "What?"

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Yuel grabbed his backpack and got up to leave since there was no homeroom at the end of the day for exam week. "I'll text you when I get home."

"Sure. Bye, Yuel!"

Yuel didn't even wave goodbye as he rushed out of the classroom. He knew Edin had a few hours until his hakwon class since it was a half day, so they could technically walk home together. But he was too flustered to be anywhere near the boy right now.

Yuel put a hand to his blushing cheek. He couldn't believe he was feeling disappointed now of all times. And to think it was because Edin changed his question today instead of asking his usual, "Do you want to study together?"

. . .

"Phew," Yuel sighed as he walked into his bedroom.

He had jumped in the shower as soon as he got home. Not only was the weather warming up, but he worked up a sweat speed-walking home out of worry that Edin might catch up to him so they could walk together.

"What am I doing?" Yuel said, flopping back onto his bed.

On one end, he was disappointed Edin hadn't asked him if he wanted to study together after school today. But on the other, he was sure to have declined again anyway, considering how he rushed home to avoid being alone with Edin. And it wasn't even because he was worried about Edin bringing up Kyungwon anymore. It was clear the boy wouldn't ask any questions unless Yuel was ready to talk about it first.

Yuel placed a hand over his heart. If it was beating this fast merely from the thought of Edin, how was Yuel supposed to spend any time alone with him? But as impossibly difficult as that seemed, he still wanted to.

It was strange. Yuel couldn't recall ever being this conflicted with Kyungwon. Perhaps it was his naïvety that allowed him to simply be happy to be around the man at all. Just being acknowledged by his crush was enough for him back then, which was why he was so blind to the fact that Kyungwon's heart was clearly with someone else.

But it was different with Edin. When it came to him, Yuel didn't only feel acknowledged. He felt loved. And yet, why was it so much harder to be around someone that actually loved you?

"Jeez, what am I thinking?" Yuel sighed.

He really wasn't himself today, contemplating things like love. He was so sure he would never feel such a thing for someone else besides Kyungwon...

And that was when the realization hit him.

Thinking about Kyungwon didn't make Yuel's heart flutter anymore. He didn't really feel much of anything, as if a void had appeared where all his feelings for his first crush used to be. But instead of feeling empty about it, Yuel felt something closer to relief.

Because that void was now being filled with new, even sweeter feelings.

BUZZ!

Yuel jumped at the sound of his phone vibrating from next to him. Without even checking, he already knew who had contacted him. This reminded Yuel that he had totally forgotten to text Edin earlier when he got home.

[Yang Edin: Are you home, Yuel? O_O]

[Ye Yuel: Yeah. Sorry I forgot to text you.]

[Yang Edin: It's okay! As long as you got home safe! ^_^]

Before Yuel could send a reply, another message arrived in succession.

[Yang Edin: Hey, Yuel? You know something? *_*]

[Ye Yuel: What?]

[Yang Edin: I like you ♡_♡]

"Oh, jeez..."

This boy was like the most sugary piece of candy, so sweet but so not good for the heart. For a moment, Yuel just lay still, hearing his heart race at twice the speed of the ticking clock as he reread Edin's text over and over again. This was what he had been missing out on for all those years he spent loving Kyungwon—this feeling of being loved.

Perhaps Yuel had already caught on to this feeling deep inside him since the very first day he met Edin. But it took all this time to finally be ready to embrace it. If Yuel had to be honest, he was still afraid of the idea of fully reopening his vulnerable heart to someone. And yet for this one boy, he had a feeling he would be okay.

Yuel typed out his reply but kept his finger hovering over the send button for a minute. One minute turned into two minutes, then three minutes, then five, then ten...

This might have been the most difficult text Yuel had ever tried to send in his life. The scared part of him told him to just erase the message like he had never even typed it and forget about replying to Edin altogether. It wouldn't be the first time he completely ignored the boy's confession of love, anyway. It wouldn't change a thing.

But that was precisely the problem. Yuel didn't want to be stuck in the same place he had been for the past four years. It was clear his heart had already begun to move on. It was time to set this overdue change in motion.

With a deep breath, Yuel hit the send button.

[Ye Yuel: I like you too.]

Yuel wasn't even given a second to prepare himself for Edin's reply as the boy immediately bombarded him with messages.

[Yang Edin: What? o_o]

[Yang Edin: What??? O_O]

[Yang Edin: Did I read that right?????? OoO]

[Yang Edin: You like me??????????????? Q_Q]

Yuel chuckled at the fact that despite how shocked Edin was, he still remembered to finish off every one of his texts with a weird emoji. Hearing himself laugh, Yuel felt that he had made the right choice to press send after all.

[Yang Edin: Yuel? ?_?]

Now that Yuel had sent the hardest text of his life, he assumed his next reply would be much easier. But he found himself hesitating even more. He almost felt like he would have a heart attack with how nervous he was right now. Even so, he didn't let his fear get the better of him. He wouldn't anymore.

He pressed send once more.

[Ye Yuel: Yes, I like you, Edin... like a lot.]

[Yang Edin: Can I come see you right now? >_<]

[Ye Yuel: No.]

It didn't even take a second for Yuel to send that reply. There was no way he would be able to see Edin right now after he just confessed his feelings to him. Who knew how the boy would react? What if he tried to kiss him again—

"I need to start studying for tomorrow's exams," Yuel said, flinging himself out of bed.

He scrambled around his bedroom to do something—anything to get his mind off of Edin and kissing, especially Edin kissing him. But all that pacing did nothing for him as he practically dived for his phone the second Edin sent his reply.

[Yang Edin: What about after the exams? Can we meet then? *_*]

[Ye Yuel: ...Okay.]

After sending that reply, it became clear to Yuel that he would probably not get much studying done at all today, let alone for the rest of the week. How could he when his mind could do nothing but count the days until he and Edin could potentially kiss again?