Twenty-Three Fish

"Yuel Oppa!" Sori shouted, running to give her big brother a hug.

"Uh, hey..." Yuel mumbled, barely able to get the words out of his mouth.

Sori clung to Yuel's leg and peeked up at the taller boy next to him. Her eyes widened in awe as she whispered, "Oppa, is this handsome oppa your friend?"

Yuel couldn't look at the "handsome oppa" as he stammered, "Um, uh, yeah, something like that..."

"Hi," Edin said, crouching down to meet the little girl's eye level.

Sori hugged Yuel's leg a bit tighter as she hid her blushing face behind it. "Hello... Um, Handsome Oppa, can I take Yuel Oppa now?"

Edin looked up at Yuel who had gone as pale as a ghost. He wasn't sure if he should say yes, but he didn't want to say no to the small child, either. But before he could give any answer, Yuel started walking away with the girl.

"S-Sorry, I need to go," Yuel mumbled, not even looking back at Edin as he rushed off with his sister.

Everything was happening so fast that Yuel couldn't keep up. He met up with Kyungwon at the front gate, and he vaguely heard the man ask if he was alright. But he wasn't sure what response he gave him, if he gave one at all. By the time he came to his senses, he was in the back seat of Kyungwon's car with Sori.

Kyungwon looked at him through the rearview mirror and asked, "Are you sure you're alright?"

Oh, so I did respond, Yuel thought. "Yeah, I'm fine..."

Kyungwon looked at him one more time before starting the car and driving off. He could tell something was bothering Yuel, but he decided not to question him about it any further right now, especially since he had been having such a fun day with Sori and didn't want to ruin it for her by suddenly having a serious conversation.

"Anyway," Kyungwon said, "I called you a few days ago, but you didn't pick up."

Yuel remembered when he got that call on the night he had dinner with Edin. "Oh, yeah. Sorry about that..."

"It's fine. I only called to tell you that Sori and I were coming to your city today. There was a pop-up store event for Sori's favorite cartoon at the department store around here. She also really wanted to see her big brother, since it's been a while..."

Kyungwon paused as he slowed the car to a stop at a red light. He peeked back at Yuel, who was looking out the window with a conflicted expression on his face.

"Hey, Yuel, I'm sorry for coming to your school without asking you in advance. When you didn't pick up or reply to any of my messages, I thought it would be nice to just surprise you today. But I guess it wasn't such a good idea after all..."

Yuel made no response. Actually, he could barely even hear what Kyungwon was saying. None of the man's words were registering in Yuel's mind, which was filled with countless anxious thoughts.

Edin wasn't ever supposed to know about Kyungwon, let alone see him. Yuel's first crush was meant to be his secret and his alone. But now, it seemed inevitable that he would have to explain to Edin who this man was. Whether the boy would directly ask about it or not, he was bound to be curious why a grown man and a little girl suddenly came to their school, acting like they were Yuel's family...

"Still, we're family."

Yuel turned his gaze from the window to Kyungwon, who was staring back at him with the same kind eyes that confused him back in middle school. But he now knew that that kindness did not come from the sort of love Yuel wanted from him.

"So, I was wondering if Sori and I could come visit you like this from time to time."

As family.

Yuel began to feel nauseous as his heart thumped so loudly in his chest. As if all the oxygen in the car had been sucked out, he found it impossible to breathe. He had to get out of here. He couldn't be in the same space as his first crush who was his family.

Yuel looked at the traffic light that immediately flickered green. With Kyungwon turned around to face Yuel, he didn't notice it right away. Before the car could start moving, Yuel took the chance to move first. He opened the door and rushed out.

"Wait, Yuel! Where are you going?"

"Yuel Oppa?"

Yuel shut the door on both of them and walked in the opposite direction of where the car was headed. With several cars honking behind them, Kyungwon had no choice but to drive off.

Yuel didn't look back once as he kept walking and walking until he eventually arrived back at his school. He looked beyond the gate to where Edin must have stood and watched him leave earlier. Of course, the boy was long gone now.

Yuel felt like such an awful person to Edin. Here was someone who was willing to do so much for him, yet Yuel couldn't do the same in return. He couldn't even fully give his heart to him, since the tiniest part of it still couldn't let go of Kyungwon. The fact that he was currently worried about the man hating him after today, despite everything that had happened, was proof of that.

Or perhaps it would have made things easier had Kyungwon just hated Yuel. But that kind person with his kind eyes would likely never feel that way about him. If anything, that man loved Yuel. As family.

"Fuck," Yuel said under his breath, feeling a surge of emotions burst out of him through his tears. "Why can't these feelings just go away already?"

. . .

"S-Sorry, I need to go."

Edin told Yuel goodbye after that, but it went unheard. With their afterschool plans suddenly canceled, Edin returned home much earlier than planned.

He was lying on his bed in a quiet house. He had never felt lonely at home before, but ever since Yuel came over that one time and left, Edin learned that it was indeed possible for a place to feel empty without someone.

"I miss Yuel," Edin groaned into the pillow he was hugging, wishing it was his pretty crush.

That got him thinking about the day Yuel would come over again and hopefully lie with him on this bed. Given what the two of them had already done on the sofa, there were endless possibilities of what they could get up to on the bed...

But Edin stopped his thoughts there. This was not what he should be contemplating right now.

He recalled how pale Yuel got at the sight of the man and little girl who had been waiting for him at the school gate. He wondered who they could have been. They seemed pretty close to Yuel. The little girl who was excited to meet him was one thing, but the older guy looked very worried when he saw him, even asking if he was alright and wrapping an arm around him to try and comfort him.

"Wait a second..."

The thought of an older guy who was close to Yuel reminded Edin of the first day of school.

"People apparently saw him hanging out with some dude that looked to be in his twenties."

"They did seem pretty close."

That memory along with the one of how flustered Yuel got when he received a call from someone named "Kyungwon Hyung" got the gears turning in Edin's brain. It didn't seem all that absurd to assume that maybe these were the same people. Yuel's reaction to both the hyung and the man were the same, after all. But Edin still couldn't see how the little girl fit into the picture...

Until he remembered something else: Yuel's three-year-old little sister.

The girl definitely looked to be around three years old. Then, was the man Yuel's stepdad?

Yuel didn't seem all that comfortable with his parents being divorced and his mom remarried. But the way he reacted to seeing the man couldn't simply be described as "uncomfortable." He almost appeared scared.

"...Oh my god."

Edin's heart sank as the pieces finally all clicked in his head. He immediately regretted letting Yuel leave with that creep. Yes, that was the only explanation. That man was a creep who had been abusing Yuel for years! That also explained why Yuel decided to leave his mom's place to come live with his dad during his last year of high school of all times. He couldn't deal with the abuse any longer.

Unfortunately, the creep wasn't willing to let Yuel go. He even had the boy in his arm as they left, which someone who didn't know any better could simply assume as them being "close." But Edin now realized that they weren't close at all.

Edin stopped hugging his pillow and instead used it to smack himself repeatedly.

"You fucking idiot. Why did you let Yuel leave with him? Shit, I'm so sorry, Yuel."