50

Edward's sobs succumbed into sniffs, and he immediately crawled back to the corner, as though escaping from dangers prowling upon him. Once more, he tucked his knees into his chest and blankly gazed upon his strewn clothes. Even as Seb urged him to move somewhere more comfortable and warm, his body didn't bother budging anywhere else but the space around him.

Well, at the very least, he abandoned his mission of demolishing his own hands.

"So... what brings you here, Ren, Florie?" asked Seb as he eventually settled down in front of Florence and I, his attention divided between us and mostly his best friend. The librarian, without hesitation, shot a side glance at me, signalling me to start the discourse. She's giving me the chance to take charge.

"I... I wanted to check in on Ed..."I said as I met Seb's glossy eyes, sucked out of their typical brightness but remained gentle as they drifted upon me. "And Florence... she has been worried about you."

"...I'm fine. You both didn't have to go this far," Seb whispered, helplessly leaning against the closet. "You girls should take care of yourself fi-"

"I don't want to hear such hypocrisy. Look at you, I bet you haven't had enough time to rest," Florence cut him off, her voice maintaining its ferocity as she shuffled towards him. "Let Serena take over while you take your time to process-"

"I've had my break, so don't you worry, Florie." Seb was next to interrupt her, running his hand through his hair. "I... I can handle this. I just don't want to drag Ren or you further along..."

He didn't even need to drag me; I too was already in too deep in all of these series of events. There was no way I would back off.

"I-I'm involved in this too, Seb... we all are." Noticing how Edward had been shivering tremendously, I found myself standing up and beelining towards the thermostat, rolling it to adjust the temperature. "I'm ready to take some responsibility, so let me help you too."

"Ren, I appreciate your effort, but..."

"Please." I insisted before he could finish his statement. When the corners of Florence's mouth stretched to form a tiny smile, that was when realization hit me. Regardless of whether she had ulterior motives or not, Florence was completely on board with how I had to show my friends that I was capable; I was more than just a clueless moron. I can change only if I have the desire... and I'm now all pumped up to do so.

Meanwhile no words further left Seb, although he gravitated upon me with rounded eyes and slightly dangling jaw, but he promptly shut it. Florence didn't hesitate to massage his back, whispering words I couldn't catch on.

Well, I would not let curiosity get the best of me, because my main priority was Edward's wounds he had sustained earlier. Even in the dim light, I could make out the unmistakable hues of scarlet and purple adorning the abnormal bumps rising from his knuckles. My spine practically shrivelled just by observing them... and the fact he simply dismissed them made my own hands ache.

"Ed?"

Only his eye trailed towards me.

"That bruises... you need to treat those wounds," I suggested. "You can't just leave them like that."

Edward abruptly covered his knuckles, clamping them with his fingers and causing him to flinch. Even his attempts on hiding them didn't stop Seb and Florence from simultaneously turning their attention towards his horrific blemishes.

"It's fine. It doesn't hurt..." He croaked. "I'll just deal with these later."

Right, I almost forgot the fact that dealing with Edward's stubbornness was like moving a boulder. Nevertheless, I carried on like I was never aware of it. "E-Ed, it doesn't matter, they're gonna get worse-"

"I've sustained far more injuries at work, they're even worse than this," he claimed. "This is nothing. I can treat it by myself..."

Seb's subsequent, strident sigh was what chimed in our conversation. With his arms folded, his piercing tone infused with nothing but sheer exasperation. "Like we'll believe you. You'll always leave them be until someone forces you, and if you did, you never treated them properly." He furiously shook his head.

Edward groaned. "At least I did something-"

"You know what? I've had enough of bottling this up... I'm gonna say it bluntly," Seb whispered between his teeth. "Those wounds you have, they're not because of your work, right?"

Never have I seen Edward's body stiffening up so evidently, as though taken aback by such a statement. He neither confirmed nor denied it, but his fatigue didn't stop him from glowering at his best friend, his lips pursing into a scowl.

What's he talking about...?

"You're not even directly involved in engineering, you're way too young! And even if you did, workshops have strict protocols to prevent even the slightest injury. Doesn't make any sense why you would suddenly have bruises and cuts unless you are extremely clueless enough," Seb's deductions honed the surrounding air like knives.

"Stop," Edward growled. "Stop it, Seb."

"I suspected at first... and I was right. You might hide them so well, but you can't fool me no more." The warning was a mere empty threat, as with no hesitation, no pause, no second guessing, he emphasized his conclusion with a furrowed expression, "Yes, I'm talking about the fact you harmed yourself."

Edward said nothing, only his brow and his lips spasming. The ensuing silence was deafening enough to cause goosebumps rippling through my skin, making me nearly retort 'no, that's not possible' and 'that's bullshit', or at least blocking off such a ridiculous claim. However, when he bared and gritted his teeth, his clenched fists protruding the bruises on his knuckles, those responses crawled back to my throat, unable to face reality.

Actions spoke a thousand words, they said.

"I figured. Your behavior just now seals the deal; you've been beating things up when you... lost control of yourself. I wouldn't be surprised if you have flipped your bed over before." Seb's articulation accelerated. I could only withdraw my lips, pressing them against my teeth as Florence and I found ourselves gawking at Edward. He had been doing that to himself...?

"Rena, please..." He promptly turned towards me, his eye pleading. "I... I broke one of my nails because of work. All of these are-"

"I would have stopped lying by now if I were you and cared about Ren." Seb scoffed and Edward's jaw tightened almost immediately, their drilling glares would have stabbed and murdered one another if they used it as weapons. However, Seb broke the chain, ruffling his already disheveled hair and huffing, "Okay look, let's stop this shit, stop acting like idiots-"

"I am a fucking idiot. I don't need someone to tell me that." Now Edward was on both of his feet, stumbling on his steps but storming towards him, his height roughly matching Seb's. Florence and I immediately shot up-this was escalating to anything but good. "I'm a reckless bastard who couldn't even do my fucking job... and if I've been more attentive... Lynn... Lynn would..."

Seb bitterly sighed. "Dude, you're not even responsible-"

"My team was involved in it!! What part of it you don't understand?!" Edward's voice shattered at the moment he raised his tone, but not that it was a distraction as their faces were practically inches from each other. Things are escalating... no... fighting won't get us anywhere!

"Yeah, but that's the fault of your higher ups, not you!!" Seb returned with the same intensity. "Why the fuck are you carrying all the burden?! Just because your team is involved, doesn't mean-"

"JUST BECAUSE?!"

My body recoiled at the sudden shriek, my instincts finally had me cowering back until I bumped against the closet doors. Clasping my shaky breath, my hands desperately groped on something, anything I could hang onto.

It all happened in a heartbeat. Edward seized a handful of Seb's collar, not budging even as he tried thrusting him off his space. They struggled against one another, their clothes grasped on each other's hands, their legs kicking nearby objects and stepping on various papers. Eventually they collided against the wall, but Seb was completely cornered, nowhere to escape as Edward pinned him.

"Hey, stop it you two!" Florence yelled, but that fell on deaf ears.

Everything was rapidly deteriorating-this had deviated far from our plans. My mind was screaming its head off, chastising me to intervene, but my nerves were dead cold, my muscles consequently refused to move. As much as I didn't want anyone harmed... the two of us were already powerless to stop Edward from hurting himself. How could we even intervene in the brawl between two strong basketball players?

"Stop giving me bullshit!! How would you feel if you're a part of a project that ended up killing someone?!" Edward roared right on Seb's face. "You don't fucking understand, do you?!"

I felt like I was standing on the edge of the cliff-the foundation crumbling beneath me. Yelling at them would not do anything, intervening would just make it even worse... my brain couldn't come up with any further actions, so I watched. I watched Seb's expression darkening-something had snapped inside of him. The softness contained in his eyes snapped out of existence, flames tearing through them instead.

"Oh for fuck's sake, fine then, you're right!!" Seb screamed back as with enough force, he shoved Edward, strong enough to make him lose balance and tumble down. "Everything's your fucking fault. You should be ashamed of yourself. If it weren't for you fucking things like usual, Lynn would still be here right now!! Your manager should have fired you from the start!!!"

Edward didn't move an inch, his head hung low, allowing his bangs to shield his face. Florence and I were still glued to our places, our mouths went agape. This was my first time seeing Seb... actually losing all of his composure within a few minutes-this was not the Sebastian that simply retaliated with sharp remarks.

"Fuck... why the hell am I wasting my time? Not only you never tell the truth, you never listen to anyone. You make things difficult, you get in trouble all the time, you're lost cause," Seb grumbled between his pants, hastily adjusting his collar and brushing off his clothes. I gulped when he glanced at me, before he kissed his teeth. "Ungrateful bastard... Ren deserved better..."

Wait what... Me? And just right before I could comprehend what he was talking about, harsh footsteps reverberated across the vicinity before the aghast Mrs. Carvellia swung open the door.

"What's going on?! What's with all the shouting?" she interrogated as she hurriedly placed the tray with tea on his table. All of our heads but Edward's turned simultaneously at her.

"...I guess we both just need... a break. It's getting too much," murmured Seb as he slightly bowed at her, his voice once again back to its lowest setting. "...I'll be taking my leave. Sorry for all the racket and what I've done to your son."

"Sebby, where are you going?"

Seb never answered nor acknowledged Florence's calls. Grabbing his bag, he stomped towards the door, dodging Edward in front of him and jumping through all the mess. Mrs. Carvellia didn't try stopping him, allowing him to pass through, as her son, who had not moved an inch, became the center of her attention.

"Sebby, wait for me!" Florence pursued after him as he disappeared into the hallway, but paused to peer at me. Both of her lips and brows twitched as she bobbed-a silent farewell-before she also vanished behind the doors.

And that moment, I regained all my senses back. I found myself striding and crouching beside Edward, tears overflowing the pool contained in his eye, flowing down his cheek. Meanwhile, Mrs. Carvellia sighed in defeat and shook her head, but she then gingerly snaked her arms around him, drawing him to her embrace. His chest heaved up and down, as broken wheezes escaped from his throat.

"Sst... It's alright, it's alright," she whispered as she caressed his back. He then buried himself on her shoulders, dampening his silent cries.

I clutched on the hems of my school skirt, feeling the regret bombarding in like invaders, mercilessly devouring my skin and guts. My ribs gnawed in pain even when I was breathing properly; I could feel my heart tearing apart to billions of pieces, as though it was run through a paper shredder. So much for my grandiose plan of grieving together; so much for working with Seb to slowly steady our friendships; all that fragile hope was obliterated in just a few seconds.

What have I done wrong?

I was just concerned about his knuckles.

I didn't expect it to escalate into a full-blown fight between the boys. I didn't expect them to deteriorate so promptly, although minutes earlier, Seb was literally calming him down. Most importantly, I wasn't aware of Edward lying about his wounds, hiding the fact he was hurting himself. Should I have thought over my words? Should I have been more careful on touchy subjects? Should I have not brought it up in the first place?

Should I... have not said anything? Perhaps, if I had said something else, this would not happen. The boys would still bring comfort to one another... not hostility.

"Rena, Edward needs some private time... you might want to go soon. I'm sorry for getting you all involved in this," Mrs. Carvellia spoke out, but countless thoughts spiralled inside of me like a tornado, unable to be appeased without determinate answers. Get involved? More like making things worse than it seems.

"Rena, are you alright?" She questioned and I could momentarily peer at her.

"I'm g-good..." I averred.

***

It was too hazy to remember what happened next, but I did recall how I aggressively propelled my feet against the pedals of my bike, belting through the intersections. Before I knew it, I had reached home and flung my bicycle into the garage-I didn't care anymore, my room was the only destination engraved into my head right now.

I fumbled my set of keys into the hole, but I growled when it did not not fit and tried another one. However, without any warning, the door swung open, making me stumble backwards when it was Mom behind it. Her frown deepened upon seeing me; she instantly crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

Damn it. I neither had the energy nor the time to be lectured by her right now.

"Serenity." My heart literally skipped a beat when my full name left Mom's lips, her voice was as piercing as a needle. Rarely she called me by it-surely I was at the wrong place at the wrong time or I have done something seriously nasty. "What have I told you about properly stowing your bicycle?" chided Mom. "Also, why are you not answering all of my texts?"

Hovering over my phone, I came across more than 10 new texts piling up my notification board, but not that they induced any reaction that had me apologize profusely. Instead, I was fearing Mom would notice my irritating red eyes, and needless to say, I fucked that up. The last thing I want right now is to be further questioned...

"Wait, are you... crying?" Her scolding tone quickly fell apart. "Rena wh-"

"It's nothing, Mom. I'm fine. I just need some time," I cut her off before she said more. I went past her and entered the house, wiping off the stupid tears that barged in without my consent.

"Rena, it's not nothing..." she commented as she trailed behind, her blue eyes eased. "You're not feeling well. At least let me know what's going on."

I huffed. After all of that ordeal, of course I felt like shit. "I-I just didn't want to check my phone," I replied, not wanting to meet her in the eyes. "I visited Edward too if that's what you're wondering, that's why I'm late. I'm going now."

"Wait, Rena, you-"

"Sorry Mom, but I really don't want to talk right now." Before she could interrogate more, I rushed for the stairs, finally a few yards away from my safe haven, albeit the idea of leaving her hanging there haunted me. Much to my relief, she didn't stall me and actually obliged my wish, albeit as her stare penetrated through the back of my neck.

And once again, the cool pillow and my mattress became my source of comfort, catching any tears that dared to escape, giving some kind of relief to my overstimulated brain. Unfortunately, it did not let me escape from the haunting cries and screams of the boys as they thrashed against one another-all began from a simple conversation.

My brother had tried shoving himself in-he claimed he wanted to check in on me and talk but luckily I locked my doors. Sure, his intelligence beat me in most aspects, but wasn't he smart enough to at least know that I wasn't in the mood for discussion? I rolled my eyes, ignoring his calls and burying myself in my duvet, until at long last, he left me alone.

And when I was about to shut my eyes, contemplating any alternative plans, my phone decided it was best to convulse hard on my nightstand, indicating a call was coming in. Ugh... I should have put it on silent mode... Who is it?

It could just be my parents or Jordan, as they put up another useless attempt at contacting me, but when I read the caller's name, I shot up from my sprawled position, seized my phone and punched on the green button.

Edward.

That was the name flashing on the screen, and before I knew it, the unsteady breaths of my childhood friend poured in from the speakers.

"Rena..."

A twinge of pain rocked my heart; his voice was completely out of power, on the verge of breaking down like a fragile glass. It seemed like his throat was in desperate need of water; perhaps due to all the crying he had shed earlier. If only I could reach him from across the screen, I would have wrapped my arms around him.

"Ed... w-what's wrong?"

He whimpered, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

"W-Why? For what...?"

"Being a fucking liar and an asshole..." He looked like he was giving it all he could as he tried to answer. "Well... what do I expect? I couldn't even save Lynn... let alone myself."

"Ed..." The pain as he coughed out those words... It really was the worst of the worst. It plucked all of my heartstrings-this was worse than feeling heartbroken, and worse than feeling the world crumbling around me.

"I'm sorry..."

As much as I badly wanted to direct my annoyance at the boys for instigating such an unprompted fight... I shouldn't be wasting my stamina on pointless things.

"Ed, it's okay. It's all good. You don't have to apologize-"

"You're the only one left..." he wept. "Please... don't leave me... I don't wanna be alone..."

I was surprised my heart could handle his sobs rising to a crescendo on the other side. This... was all coming from the same boy who had pushed everyone away and chose to isolate himself after that day. The boy who had been alone for most of his middle school.

"Ed, I'll be here, okay? I won't go anywhere. It's okay, you're all good," I said as I clasped tight on my phone, but I gulped when silence loomed over-did he... get my message or something? It was not until some moments later.

"Then... can you please come over tomorrow...?" He pleaded. "Please... I just need... someone..."

There was no hesitation in my voice as I muttered, "Will do, Ed."

Yes, that's right. There was no need to construct other plans-I would stick with the original idea of just being there for him, although this time... there was no Seb around to be moving forward with other plans.

Edward had provided me with comfort when I was forced to confront my past filled with mockery. Now, when care was all he urgently seeked for, it was my turn to give him back.

"Thank you..." He said as he choked a sob.