thirteen

"you good?" we've barely been talking since we've been making our way to the ferris wheel.

when we get there billie tells me to stand beside the cotton candy truck while she goes to the ticket booth to buy tickets.

when she hands me my ticket and we walk through, towards the ferris wheel, billie talking the whole way about how she went on the ferris wheel every year growing up.

it was nice to her talk because then she didn't ask me questions.

especially the ones I didn't want to answer.

we wait in line and billie finally asks me a question, but it's just about where ive been in LA so I answer, leaving out the reasoning for finding some of the stores I did.

there's no way im telling billie about pirate.

the line takes a long time but eventually we're waiting second in line, behind an elderly couple.

I try not to look at how old this ferris wheel is and focus on the people around me.

"hey" billie is stood really close to me and I can feel her breath on my neck which makes me shiver.

she grabs onto my hand and I tense up.

omg.

"where's your eye patch eilish?" the operator says to billie and she rolls her eyes.

"ha ha so funny, you gonna let us on?"

"ive missed you too" the bearded man smiles, removing the chain and escorting us onto the available lift.

we step onto the lift and it swings a little and I tightly grip onto the rail, attempting to keep my face neutral.

sitting down beside billie I notice we have front row tickets to the the lovey dove couple basically having sex in-front of us.

brilliant.

the handlebar comes down and locks us into place and I didn't realise how close we're sitting.

our legs are almost touching and im starting to regret wearing a mini skirt.

"enjoy yourselves" the man says, letting go of the handlebar and stepping back down.

and we're off.

we're not even off the ground and my stomach is already lurching.

"you okay there princess? not afraid of heights are you?"

"no" I whisper, holding onto the handlebar like it's going to save my life if this thing collapses.

okay not the time sage.

"you're gonna love the view up here"

I skipped breakfast because I was too nervous to see gabrielle and now I feel like im gonna vomit up my empty stomach.

"lets make a deal" billie says with a small smile and I roll my eyes.

"can't we just sit in silence?"

"no. ill ask you some questions with some options and we'll see if our answers match up"

"and why would I wanna do that?"

"to see if we're compatible friends or mortal enemies"

"we're enemies, quiz over"

billie completely ignores me. "question one. we have an argument (A)it takes days for us to speak again, (B) we never fight (C) we never make up"

why does she care?

"not B that's for sure" I roll my eyes, contemplating my answer.

"but not really C either, I would says A but I might forgive but ill never forget"

"A it is" billie pulls a pack of gum out of her pocket and hands me one which I take.

"what would you chose?"

"probably A too, you can't resist me enough to never talk to me again"

more like the other way around.

but then again, I never pictured her to willingly want to spend her day off with me here.

I glance down at all of the small people who are getting smaller and smaller on the sidewalk, the higher up we go.

I look back up and spot the girl with her head in the guys lap.

brilliant, he's getting a blow job.

I quickly look away.

"next question. if one of us have a problem we will: (A) keep it to ourselves (B) come to one another for advice (C) drop hints and hope the other figures it out"

"A"

"I choose B"

"what is with all these questions?"

"last one I swear. the most important quality in a....uh friendship is: (A) sharing the same interests (B) that we get along (C) we're always there for each other"

"what kind of question is that? I pick option (D), all of the above"

"that isn't an option, pick one"

"I refuse"

"you can't refuse"

"I just did princess"

billie snorts, running her fingers through her hair. "we're not gonna know if we're compatible if you keep being an ass"

I can't tell if she's teasing or if there's something more beneath the stupidity.

"maybe we should actually be friends and find out for ourselves instead of you asking me dumb ass questions"

"no one appreciates answering important questions anymore"

important?

"I can see we're almost opposites but that's perfect"

"perfect?"

"sage I think we're gonna make great friends"

her smiles makes me feel giddy inside and I look down so she can't see the blush on my cheeks.

I realise our thighs are touching and I look up and out at the view, sitting beside her in silence for the rest of the ride.

it's weird to be beside billie like this.

im trying to figure her out and attempt to figure out why although it's boiling hot, I have goosebumps.

when we get off the ferris wheel, billie walks beside me, her arm occasionally brushing mine.

she tells me more about her job and what her studio does and how she keeps the place running.

it's weird to hear her talk so openly, especially with a bright smile on her face.

she's so confusing.

the way she acts around people is completely different than when she's alone with me.

billie seems to notice how much she's talking and how quiet I am.

she pulls a face which is so cute. "what're you thinking about?"

I hesitate remembering the disaster when I attempted to be real with gabrielle and it makes my stomach hurt.

"confession time" I say to her and she raises her brow at me. "im confused"

"about?" she squints her eyes at me and I sigh.

"you. I know you're an owner of a dance studio and you grew up in the family home but who are you?"

"I should be asking you the same thing princess. you've barely said a word about yourself"

"what do you wanna know?"

"everything"

"uh well im living with my grandma, my favourite color is black, I love music and fashion, I like funky socks, my favourite things is making lists and organising things uh I like cheese"

"priciness, that's not what I mean"

"what do you mean?"

"who are you?"

"im still trying to figure that out" I admit with a small shrug.

"ive noticed"

"you have?"

"yeah, you don't exactly look like the type to have your life figured out"

"well we're still young billie and we've got a long life ahead of us"

"and I know you like organising things"

"how so?"

"when you've been working, the bills in the register are always facing the right way, everything by the register is clean and neatly stacked. neither finneas nor kai clean and organise anything but the records"

"I like things neat" I admit with a blush and im surprised she picks up on a deal like that.

"it isn't a bad thing"

"guess not"

by the time we've eaten cotton candy and just wandered around, the sun is setting and billie says that it's the perfect time to ride the ferris wheel again.

when we get back inside after cutting the queue, which billie told me does every year, we're sitting closer.

a lot closer.

her warm body is pressed against mine and I stare at where out calves are pressed together.

for the smallest moment, I consider moving away but I don't.

and neither does billie.

my heart beats against my rib cage and I can feel her eyes scanning my face.

I don't dare stare back at her, I just keep my eyes forward.

we ride in silence, watching the sunset and the busy streets of LA below us.

before we get back to the bottom, billie speaks so quietly I can barely hear her.

"I really am sorry about what I said the other day" she pauses for a moment. "and I love the way you dress.....I think you look sexy as fuck"

hiii my babiess

what do you think of this book so far? any predictions?