twelve

im doing this.

ive got the day off and im standing opposite the bookstore gabrielle works at.

it's so busy the street is filling up with tourists and I stood watching everyone, finding the courage inside of me to walk into the bookstore.

am I really doing this?

it's pirate.

well...... I hope it's pirate.

I hope I don't have to keep searching because I really want to find her.

I think.

and I know exactly who pirate is, she's my soulmate.

we've been talking online for months, I feel like I know her.

the real her.

we have a bond which stretched beyond our interests for music.

and then there's billie.

after opening the shift into the store with billie she's been coming into the store even more than she did before.

but after she left, I missed her, even if she was fucking annoying.

really annoying.

but now is not the time to think about billie.

im especially not thinking about the way I can still smell her cologne.

I clear all thoughts of billie and walk across the street, looking up at the logo of the bookstore.

rich bitch books

I open the door and there's rows of books, both old and new, and I can't get over how many books are in this tiny little store.

sat behind the register, her nose in a book, is gabrielle.

and it looks like we're alone.

I pluck up the courage and walk closer to the desk and she looks up, smiling.

"hey you" she puts her bookmark in her book and sits up a little straighter, smiling at me.

"hey" I give her a small wave and stand up against the counter.

"I never forget a phoebe fan but im not very good with names"

"it's sage" I smile, im a little crushed but I have to remember pirate will have no idea im here, so why would she remember the weird girl who came up to her in a diner?

"sage, that's right"

I blow out a breath, trying to play it cool. "I was looking for a record store and as I was walking past, I knew you mentioned you worked here so I thought I'd come in and ask you"

im so awkward.

"well there's 10,000 hours but I don't like the owner very much but there's one called rich bitch records about a ten minute walk away"

"I work there" I sheepishly admit, adding "at 10,000 hours" afterwards.

"oh" gabrielle blushes, glancing down. "im sure it's a good store, im just not a fan"

shit..

this is harder than I thought.

"do you get a break anytime soon? I don't know where rich bitch records is"

come on gabrielle.

I mean I spoke with pirate about her horoscope last night...surely if it's her she should take the hint.

'life is giving you a choice to say yes to a new person or new experience. say yes'

online she remembers every single thing I say to her, from the moment we started talking.

is this really pirate if she can't even remember my name?

maybe it was a good idea I didn't tell her I was moving to LA after all.

she looks hesitant and I try to not let my emotions show on my face.

"sure, it's been quiet today so I guess I can take a break. let me close up"

I stand watching as she grabs her bag, turning the music off and sticking a 'be back in 30 mins' on the door, locking it shut.

"okay sage, let's go" she smiles, which makes me feel a little better.

I walk alongside her and we make our way to the record store.

im definitely not gonna tell finneas about this because I feel like he'd be so pissed.

she asks me polite questions about myself and I answer with as much enthusiasm as I can, asking her the same.

her store is family owned:check

she's the same age as me: check

she's a sagittarius: check

she loves music: check

she has an older brother:check

by the time we get to the record store, we've fallen into deep conversation and I didn't think it would be this easy.

although she told me she went to private school and I never pegged pirate to be the private school type.

im trying to figure her out when we walk into the shop.

it's so similar to my work but also so different.

10,000 hours is definitely a lot more vintage.

rich bitch records reminds me of HMV.

the store is really busy which definitely isn't the best place for a quiet, potentially romantic, conversation.

I guess ill have to work with this.

we scroll past the jazz section and gabrielle takes me to the back of the store and I spot lana del rey at the front.

"I was in here the other day, they have a lot of music I think you might like"

she flicks through until she finds the vinyl she's looking for. "check this out" she lifts up a band and my heart sinks.

pirate and I hate big lemon.

"im not a big lemon drop fan"

"oh" she says, almost wincing. "you're one of those, huh?"

"excuse me?"

"look" she holds up her hand in defence "whatever you're into is fine. I just think you need to be open minded about music"

is this bitch fr?

I take a deep breath and pause for a moment.

"you're right" I manage to force out, knowing there's no way in hell this bitch can be pirate.

fuck.

"sorry, that was an ass move of me"

"ive already forgotten" I smile and she slides the vinyl back and keeps browsing for more.

"are you a fan of Justin?"

"bieber? not really"

me and pirate have argued for days over that man.

this is so weird.

pirate would start arguing with me but this whole vibe is off.

we go through some rows of vinyls, discussing bits of music but not really the vibe I was hoping for.

im trying hard not to let the disappointment show on my face.

it's like we're two completely different people.

this is not going well.

"hold on, lemme see if they have any phoebe in the back" she says after too long of not talking.

she walks away and I sigh, walking over to the jazz section to see if I can find any frank vinyls I don't already have.

"big lemon is ass" I freeze.

who said that?

I lok to my left and right but no one is there.

did I just imagine that?

"there's nothing I hate more than overrated boy bands"

I definitely wasn't imagining that.

a very familiar face comes into my view and my jaw clenches. "what the fuck are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing" billie crosses her arms over her chest, raising her brow at me.

"are you stalking me or something?"

"well I was getting some taco bell and spotted someone walking in here and I thought 'theres no way sage would do that to my brother' and well and behold, it's you with gabrielle winters glued to your arm"

"how do you know gabrielle?" I ask, glancing to make sure gabrielle isn't close.

"we fucked" billie shrugs like it's the most normal thing in the world. "but ive known her for a while, her family know my family cause we both have long running businesses and all that"

"lovely, now is that all you want?"

"I wanna know what vinyl you're looking for"

"I was just looking" I don't wanna admit anything to billie.

"like you were looking at gabbys boobs right? spoiler alert, she's got a boyfriend"

fuck.

well this is a fucking disaster.

no wonder she was hesitant to come out with me...she knew I was attempting to get to know her.

I hear footsteps and gabrielle is walking back towards me and when I turn back, billie is no longer there.

I spot her figure leaving the doors and I sigh, turning back to gabrielle.

"nothing new" she says with a sad smile "they might have something next week"

"ill have to come back"

"well I've gotta get back to work but maybe we could go out for food sometime?"

I wasn't expecting that.

it hits me that she never saw this anything remotely like I date, she probably just thought I was just trying to make friends.

"sure, gimme your number and we'll meet when we both have a day off or something"

she taps her number into my phone and gives me a hug, engulfing me in a strong floral scent, brushing past the people walking in and leaves the store.

I step outside and once again the blazing heat hits me in the face.

I don't know why I thought this would go better.

I thought I found her.

I thought gabrielle was different.

I thought-

"you okay princess?"

billie comes into view, steeping aside to let a bike past.

I let out a long sigh. "yeah im good"

"wanna talk about it?"

"with you? hell no"

"do you only fight with me?"

"yes" I start walking and I hear billie sigh and once again she's by my side.

"how's LA treating you?"

"it's fucking hot"

"so are you just exploring la on your days off alone?"

so she checked my schedule and knew I wasn't working?

"pretty much" I shrug and billie laughs "have you been to the amusement park?"

"um I don't really do amusement parks"

"why?"

"full of kids and the rides always sound like they're gonna break down"

billie laughs a little too loud and people look at us.

"lemme take you to peach park, there's a really cool ferris wheel"

"huh?"

"a ferris wheel? you know where you sit in chairlifts and go round above the beach"

"bitch I know what a fucking ferris wheel is"

"why are you confused?"

"why do you wanna take me?"

"come on sage" billie grabs onto my hand and pulls me forward.

oh?