20. Goodbye

Lisa

"You look beautiful sweetheart", my mother said as she adjusted the finishing touches of my veil.

I turned around to face one of the many mirros in the room. I released a breathe I didn't know I was holding. Everything was perfect, the dress, the food, the venue .... I was going to marry the love of my life. My face hid a mixture of emotions. I was nervous, excited, happy .. and scared.

Me and Ben would finally be together without any hiccups. Our plan was to move to the city and away from this town which was built on teachings which my dad had filtrated.

In just two hours, I would finally be free ...

The thought itself made my lips curl up into a smile, one which didn't reach my mother's eyes.

"Please don't ruin this for me", I pleaded as I turned to face her.

My parents weren't thrilled with the idea of me marrying Ben, but there was nothing they could do about it. I was of legal age, and so was Ben. As long as we eloped in the "presence of God", as my father had said, he would give us his blessing. Not that we needed it, but to avoid future conflict, we decided to have a Christian wedding.

"I just", she began whilst fiddling with her fingers, "you've only just turned eighteen. Is this the life you really want?"

"Of course it is", I scoffed. "I was never going to stay in this sh*tty town forever anyway".

"What about Ben? How well do you really know him? He doesn't have the cleanest reputation".

I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration. "What exactly is a clean reputation? Please enlighten me mother?". I said as I roughly removed the veil from my face. I was furious at this point; mostly for her bringing this up now from all times.

"Does he need to be a 'warrior of God' and attend mass everyday?", I said sarcastically, "or better yet, does he have to bake cookies for the orphans on Tuesdays ?".

"That's enough Lisa, you've made your point", she began. "I only meant that he shows you honesty and respect. Love isn't everything Lisa".

She was right. Love wasn't everything.

I had been staring at the ceiling for the past three hours listening carefully to the drops of the rain outside. Ben lied next to me, unaware of anything. Unlike me, he had been able to drift into a heavy sleep without a care in the world. Maybe it was the alcohol he consumed, or maybe he just didn't feel the guilt, it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered anymore.

For three hours, I'd been trying to figure out what was to come of our actions, of my actions. I was a mess ... and my life was a mess. In a short amount of time, my life turned upside down once again. I had someone potentially trying to murder me, and a failed marriage to deal with. There was no doubt that I had let Ben in, I wasn't sure if he managed to reach my heart or my head. I was hoping it was the latter for my own sanity.

Multiple scenarios passed through my head on how I should handle the situation, but all of them lead to one outcome ... heartbreak, and it was better to get it over with now rather than later.

I had to leave ... I had to get out of here, now. The only way I could ever heal was to get away from the injury.

I slowly tip toed around the bed, grabing my garments which where all over the place as a reminder of our night.

I got dressed and carefully retrieved my luggage from the closet, cautiously trying not to wake Ben.

I grabbed my belongings which were in sight and tossed them in my luggage.

It must have been around 4am, I knew it was stupid the leave the house at this hour, but between a killer on the lose and my heart being broken once again, I'd take my chances with the killer.

After about half an hour of packing the necessities, I decided it was time to go. I didn't need the rest. Clothes were replaceable, but my feelings weren't.

I took one last look at Ben. He seemed preoccupied in his sleep, giving the perfect opportunity to open the bedroom door and tip toe downstairs. I made my way to the kitchen and called for an uber.

"You're leaving". The light turned on unraveling a sleep deprived Ben.

Damn, to think I almost made it without him knowing.

"You're leaving?", he repeated, this time with a question when I failed to respond.

"Yes", I replied, avoiding his eyes.

"So what? You sleep with me and then you leave me?", he said with his voice cracking at the end of his sentence.

"Last night can't happen again. I can't promise myself that if I stay here".

"We've already talked about this, Dr Rowland -

"I couldn't care less about what Dr Rowland thinks", I cried out in frustration. "For all I know, you may have paid her off to make me stay here longer".

"Are you serious?", he raged. "Addison appointed Dr Rowland as your psychologist. I had nothing to do with that".

He ran his hand vigorously through his hair and inched closer to me.

"F*ck Lisa, your case is now a homicide and you want to leave the house?"

I gripped the suitcase tightly and warned him not to come any closer.

"My mind is made up".

"So you'd rather go out there with someone trying to hurt you, than stay here with me?", he questioned, desperation evident in his voice.

I lowered my gaze to the floor and decided to avoid responding, which in itself was an answer to his question.

"F*ck", he growled. "You're breaking my heart Lis".

"Well, I guess now you know what that feels like", I spat out.

He narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head.

"That's not fair", he started. "That was different".

I laughed sarcastically before saying, "how was that different? If anything what you did was worse. You cheated on me Ben!".

"I know that. You'll never let me forget."

"What, did you think that we would have sex and all our problems would disappear?". I wiped the tears that failed to stop and held back the ones threatening to appear.

"I wish they could". His averted his gaze to the ceiling. He looked like he also was trying to hold back his tears. "I just wanted you to give me ... us a second chance".

"I can't Ben", I cried. "Everytime I look at you, I see her".

It was only now that I realized that me and Ben had never mentioned her name or brought her up throughout my entire stay with him. Almost like she was a forbidden topic. We were tip toeing around the situation and pretending like it never happened, but it did..

Ben succumbed to his emotions and didn't hold back his tears ... and anger.

"Well, maybe if you were around more often, it would have never happened".

I stared at him in shock, unable to believe the last words came from his mouth.

"You've got some nerve trying to pin this on me", I spat out in anger.

"Next time you want to get your d*ck wet, you should call her". I began approaching the front door, eager to get this over with.

"I'm sure my sister would be more than willing to attend to your needs again", I said as I opened and slammed the door behind me.

__________________________________

Hey guys 🙂

Happy new year !! Thought I'd give you a little treat.

Sorry for the long wait, I've been extremely busy.

In the next few chapters, you'll finally get some answers on what really happened between Ben and Lisa.

Stay tuned 😉