Chapter 38: Our Past

Rileys POV

Things have been quiet, a bit too quiet for the past month. It feels suspicious but maybe I’m just overthinking it. New Year flew by and the atmosphere feels different. It’s like I can feel the pain of the world on my shoulders. But I knew one thing for sure, things were about to take a turn…

I asked Wade if we could have a conversation outside. So in the backyard there’s this big swing. We sat on it and spoke while nibbling on strawberries.

“I don’t know what life has in store for us but I promise we’ll get through it together.” I held his hand and smiled wholeheartedly

“Riley what’s going on, I can see it in your eyes you’re drained?” He says softly

“I-I just feel like talking about my dad. I dreamt of him last night after years. I always prayed and said he must only come into my life when I’m happy. Because having to wake up with a smile then going downstairs to Fred wasn’t something I wanted.” I didn’t even start talking yet tears wanted to spill. He gave a small nod and ushered me to go on

“My dad was my life we was closer than anything. I was always with him whether it was at work or going out when he ran some errands. I never knew that I’d lose him so soon. Things after he was murdered was manageable, mom and I started to get close. I clung onto her afraid I’d lose her. Not long after she’d stay out till late or be busy where I didn’t see her. I didn’t mind because I knew she was busy at work; I think it was after a year when she introduced me to Fred. I didn’t like the idea of him replacing my dad yet I gave him a chance.” I took a deep breath before continuing

“Things were fine for 2 weeks, in a way he bribed me with buying me things like food. Once he moved in things took a turn for the worst, I was basically a maid. And if he came home drunk and dropped something in the morning he’d blame me. Time after time mom used to take his part despite being fully aware that I’d never do anything I was accused of. I finally stood up to him because I was tired of being the bad person, that was the worst mistake of my life. He slapped me so hard the mark only left after a day, it became routine for him to hit me I became numb to the feeling.”

“Why didn’t you tell your mom? You had all those marks to prove it.” Wade asked quietly. A humourless laugh erupted.

“I was dumb enough to do that, she believed me until she confronted him. He twisted the story and made it look like my hatred for him led to me fighting. He told her he was defenceless that he was trying to love me but I started hitting him every time he spoke to me. What mom doesn’t know is the marks on him, all those bruises was from me trying to fight back… According to mom my bruises were from him trying to push me off.” It didn’t make sense yet that’s what she believed.

“So he poisoned your moms mind and got her to hate you that’s why she treated you like that.” Wade says in disbelief

“Yes, but I’ve gotten stronger from everything. I’m just waiting to move out once I turn 18, I’m ready to start afresh. I don’t want anything from them, Fred can have that resort or whatever. My life is more valuable than materialistic things.”

“I truly found a gem, I will never be able to get rid of your past but I promise to make your future better and brighter. That is my promise to you. These things will just be a bad memory we will make memories that’ll last a lifetime.” Wade holds me to his chest and caresses my hair. He places a kiss on my head. I faintly heard him say I won’t lose you too.

“What do you mean?” I’m so confused. Maybe he meant his ex or something

“Caitlin... has always been a topic I could never speak about. She’s my baby sister… I was always overprotective of her she was 4 years younger than me. 6 years ago she was kidnapped from school and ever since we haven’t found her. It was my job to protect her yet I failed. I was in class when she was on the playground, I had an unsettling feeling so I excused myself from class. As I walked around the bend I saw her purple butterfly bracelet on the floor, I looked up and saw her being thrown into a white van. I screamed and ran after it. The main gates were still open so I ran onto the road and got flipped in the air after a car knocked me.” I watched Wade with tears running down my cheek. He choked back a sob. I grabbed him and hugged him as tight as I could.

He broke down.

“I couldn’t save her Riley, I couldn’t.” He chanted and cried. I slowly rocked the swing to help calm him down. He needed to get rid of this pain he had growing in him

“You can’t blame yourself for this Wade.” I held onto his face and told him. I spoke to him until he stopped crying. He’s been living in guilt for 6 years it’s eating him up.

“That’s why I became so closed off from everyone I trusted no one besides the guys. There’s not a day I don’t think of that incident. But ever since I met you things have gotten better for me, not only was I able to deal with my demons. But with all the stress and pressure dad has put on me I’m able to smile through my days. Before I was always grumpy and angry ask Luke that idiot will jump and tell you.” He chuckles at the end

“We’ve both helped each other grow this past year. I’m so glad I met you.” I whispered

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Now I see why he’s always overanalysing everything when we're anywhere and why he’s so overprotective of all of us. He mentioned how afraid he is of losing me I reassured him at the end things will be fine.

We spoke for some time about what went on before we met. Our lives were pretty much dull before we met. He confessed that the guys were as we call bad boys, but I had softened them up.

Later that day Evangelene and I made supper and we all watched a movie before falling asleep.

I was happy that Wade and I spoke out about our past, we now have an idea on another way of how to love and help each other.