66. Heart & Soul

Chapter Soundtrack:

Amber Run - I Found

Thank you jazzwynter for the

Song selection ;)

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"I'll use you as a warning sign, that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind. And ill use you as a focal point, so i dont lose sight of what I want.  And i moved further than i thought i could, but i missed you more than i thought i would."

"I found love where it wasnt supposed to be. Right in front of me. Talk some sense to me. "

-Amber Run

(The song above)

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Nova

"Sure, Nova." He breathed, a hand running through his hair as he moved away from the door. Two long strides and he was sitting on the lid of the toilet.. my eyes lingered on the bite mark i left on his neck and pectoral. His back had long deep scratches imbedded in the skin.. as well as down his torso.

"Im sorry." My eyes went big, taking in the damage. Glancing down then back up to me, he waved it off like it was no big deal.

I suddenly felt awkward.

We had an insane moment just a little while ago and here i am. With him. My mate. It shouldn't be awkward but it is.

Zaryn?" I whispered softly as i sank in the foam, only my collarbone and arms visible.. feeling the sting of his own claw and teeth marks in my flesh along with his punishing assault on my core.. bruises beginning to form on my hips and wasit.

His brows rose in question as those beautiful blue eyes met mine.

"What's happened.. why are you living here in the Alpha's quarters now..." i had a feeling i knew the answer... i had figured it out once i felt the power radiating from him as he was inside me but i had to ask him.. to hear it from his lips. The warrior symbol on his inner bicep told me he had been training.. he was an expert of the south.. but i had no clue how this all came to be.

His lips lifted at one corner slighty in a ghost of a smile as his eyes studied me intently, shaking his head. "How do you not know? I figured Eden would have told you." His deep tone was so much more deep with testosterone he produced.

I felt heat rise in my cheeks, my gaze avoiding his as shame rose inside me. He could feel my emotions now.. feel everything i felt as we were now so close to each other, our walls down, letting the other in.

I swallowed, "I.. I havent really talked to anyone." I chewed my lip nervously. "Ive spoken to Eden twice." It was whispered.. glancing up to see confusion in his eyes. "The last time she spoke to me she said Nic was being forced to train for Alpha. That Blake was no longer respected and the pack wanted him out... that you had gone... crazy."

He held my gaze, my wolf extremely happy right now in his presence.. lying in a ball, sated in my mind. "I am the Alpha now. This is my pack. And you, being my mate... you are this packs Luna."

My eyes widened in disbelief. I hadnt thought of this. I thought of my rank as an expert warrior, sure. Figured that was what had given me the extra strength... because when your rank increases.. so does your wolfs power. You can work out all you want but if your rank doesnt move up.. you're just a strong wolf.. nothing more.

Earlier when we snapped together... i thought it was because i was stronger because of my rank, titling me a warrior.. and Zaryn, because i noticed he had the symbol too and i had a hunch he was this packs new Alpha.

But.. Im the Luna?

Being mated to him automatically made me Luna by default.

"That explains the extra surge of power i have felt for the past four months." I all but whispered. I just assumed i was stronger from rank.

I am a Luna now?

Thats why the female downstairs called me such...

Im a fuçķìng Luna.

The female leader of this pack.

But did i want that?

I wasnt sure right now... this is too much. I wasnt even sure what was happening with us.

We still needed to talk. About a lot of things..

I lifted my hands.. running them through my hair, feeling the cramping sensations in my lower body mellow out as my eyes danced over Zaryn's tattoos. The Southern expert warrior symbol on his bicep.. the intricate design over half his peck, flowing over his shoulder, down his arm, stopping at the halfway point of his forearm.. earlier i noticed his back.. he had a large symbol on the upper middle part.. he seemed so... rugged now.

It was sexy.

Suddenly his eyes went wide and he was moving toward me, his hand grabbing my bicep and turning so that the inner part was visible to him.. awe and wonder in those blue eyes.

"What is this Nova? What have you been up to all these months?" His voice was breathy as he glanced between me and my tattoo.

I studied him. "Training." It was whispered.. broken as the tingles from his touch shot up my arm.

"How? How did you get so far?" He was perplexed.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Just because im female doesnt mean-"

"No." He let my arm go. "Not what i meant." Shaking his head, "i meant.. how did you do it.. an expert warrior of the north and south? How Nova?" He was looking at me as if i were an anomoly.. a puzzle he couldnt figure out. I felt his emotions flood through me.. he was confused but impressed none the less. Surprised.

I shrugged, averting his gaze. "At first it was to feel the pain.. so i wouldnt feel a different pain.. then it just.. became more."

He understood that. I could feel that through the bond. He had done the same thing.. only he had done it for another reason..

"How did you become Alpha?" I sunk into the water a little more as Zaryn sat beside the tub, forearms resting on the side.

His deep voice rumbled off the side of the tiles as he spoke.. his eyes on the side of my face.. causing my skin to feel warm and tingly.  "I snapped. I started training too.. to make myself stronger. My wolf... he had absorbed my skin sides strength. My skin side was weak and the wolf was surfacing even when i tried to hold him back. He was attacking other wolves.. anyone who upset us. So Gabriel was sent here. To train me. Then instead of reabsorbing my strength from the wolf.. he kept the power and my skin became even more powerful. More so than the wolf. Now i can control him but my training became something more.. i began to want the title. I wanted to be stronger for the pack.. for you...

the night Maxim first came here.. i had snapped.  I was challenged... and i killed my opponents." He paused, i rose my brows as my head lifted, whipping in his direction.

He has killed?

"How many"

"Three. Have you.. "

"One." I glanced away, biting my lip as i closed my eyes. I dont like remembering that. It was me or him. Nothing more.

He inhaled sharply.. a moment passing between us before he spoke again. I was used to seeing the challengers die now. It was nothing unsettling to me and that was what he was waiting on.. to feel my reation through the bond.

Zaryn cleared his throat, "so.. afterwards, i had so much power running through my veins. Nic was falling apart.  He didnt want to be Alpha. So i challenged dad and won."

My lips parted as i met his gaze.. worry etched on my face. "Is he...?"

Shaking his head, "No. I didnt kill him. I let him live.. hes still my dad. But his punishment.. was being whipped that night. Alpha Reynold was invited to watch.. the father of Deacons mate.. the one he raped and murdered." His eyes flashed with danger.. a lump forming in my throat at the mention of him.

"Blake lives at my old cabin across the lake now. Isnt allowed at pack functions unless invited by me. He isnt to have much interaction but he is to train daily. Become stronger. He has done better.. ive let him come around more." He dipped his finger in the water, swirling the foam around in a circle.. leaving me entranced upon his movement.

I watched that finger as i spoke. "Penelope.. how did she come to be with Gabriel? You know you have a little brother on the way..."

His finger stopped, hand moving away and i could feel the tension in the air as his barritone voice spoke. "Penelope did a lot of wrong. My dad gave her up willingly. Gabriel was her punishment. He has made her life a living hell just because he has a lesser title.  It irks her. I knew it was the perfect punishment for her.. to be given to the wolf that rejected her. Im not surprised shes pregnant though.. " he seemed thoughtful.. he hasnt considered it but he wasnt surprised. The way they went at it like animals 24/7 i guess he wouldnt be.

"Nova. These past months.. I've moved further than i thought i could.." his hand came up to cup my cheek.  "But i missed you more than i thought i could. I thought youd come back.. when you didnt.. it broke me. Ive missed you every day, more and more each day. Dont put me through that again. Please." A sadness in his eyes.. my heart lurched. Swelling inside my chest as i lowered my head, nodding solemnly.

I wouldnt run anymore.

"Let me wash your back, my little warrior." His breath fanned my heated skin.. desire sweeping through me, his husky voice doing somethig to me. My breath hitched, eyes finding his.

"I can do it." I couldn't let him touch me.. it would only make the cramps increase, as the desire was doing that itself.

He nodded in understanding... feeling my thoughts through the bond.

Rising to his feet, my gaze lingered over his body.. stopping as they drifted down his ripped abs.. to his pelvis. There in the center lie a four inch, thick tattoo of an infinity symbol.

Something mated wolves got.. letting others who saw any skin below their waist know they had a mate.

It is an extremely meaningful tattoo.

I felt the lump in the back of my throat become bigger. My eyes watered slightly.. how long had he had this?

As if sensing my thoughts, which he did... he glanced down, running his thumb over the inked skin. "I got this after you left." Those eyes met mine.. so much emotion in them, "You are my mate Nova. You are my Luna. My other half." His voice croaked as our gaze locked. A sheen appeared over those baby blues, seeming glassy beneath the chandeliers soft glow.

Shame washed over me as i turned away, facing the faucet in front of me.. my shoulders hunching as i swallowed that lump hard.

"Don't shy away from me Nova." He rasped, leaning down again.

Shaking my head. "We have a lot to talk about.. "

"I know. But remember... we are mated for life. There will be no other for either of us. I have missed you so much.. you have no idea. Ive been angry at you for leaving me.. ive been sad.. ive been so many things. All these emotions pent up inside me, a main one being desire. Ive desired you for so long.. i cant even look at another. Cant even fathom it. You are it for me Nova and the pack needs their Luna. I need my Luna." My breath hitched and i turned my head to peer at him right as He leaned in to press his lips to my temple.. but they landed on my swollen lips instead.. in a sweet simple kiss.

I couldn't find my words.. my dictionary full if the alphabet suddenly had only Z's.. Zaryn was the only thing i could think of.

Standing, he walked away toward the door, looking back at me as the tears ran down my cheeks leaving a hot trail. I felt so tiny sitting in that tub, watching him.. my heart in my throat, his eyes still watery as he gazed upon me. "Call me when you're done and ill help you get to bed. I'll let your family know you are staying with me tonight so they dont worry. The last thing i want is for them to worry even more than they already have." A sad smile tugged at his lips before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

I broke down, crying silently.. my hot tears falling into the water.

This wasnt supposed to happen this way. I wasnt supposed to see him so soon.. i was supposed to focus on my family then figure out a way to talk to him.. and now here i am.. healing in his tub after a night of crazed uninhibited animalistic passion..

His words cut me like a knife. Ive grown so much in some ways but in others im still the scared little juvenile..

With even being considered an adult female.. i still feel so juvenile. Even with this warrior symbol.. the things i have dealt with and overcome.. theres still things that i cant seem to deal with.

Zaryn.. my missing link. My other half.. he was the key to my happiness. Oh how strong he has become.. how amazing he is now. He commands attention im sure.. but like always... he's so real with me. Yet so grown up now..

I refuse to run again, but first i needed to assess my heart.. my feelings. We do need to talk.. to have the conversation i have been avoiding for six months..

The pain of what i went through with him still feels fresh but so much time has passed.

I can see the love he has for me.. its tattooed on his skin. He has changed so much... for himself. For the pack

For me.

What do i do now that he has himself together? Now that i know he is surely never going to choose another over me.. now that theres no other female carrying his pup in my way?

The bitter feelings still lingered... but im his mate. His Luna. The only one he will ever have and he is the only one i will ever have.

If i can forgive Grace. Surely i can forgive him too...

The pressure on my shoulders seemed to increase as my thoughts flew through my mind. Its been a long time since the day i found out he was my mate..

A long time.

I let the tears fall.. the first time ive really cried in so long..

I found love where it wasnt supposed to be.. right in front of me the whole time. In my own pack. We went through things. We changed. Now here we are.

And i still love him.

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Zaryn

My mind was filled with her current thoughts.  Its been so long since ive felt her thoughts.. a long time since her walls have been let down..

She was crying.

And it hurt my heart to feel hers hurt.

I wanted so badly to go back inside that bathroom and pull her soaking wet body out of that tub and just hold her, never letting her go.

She was distressed.. the memories playing on her mind but my dedication to her.. the tattooo

.. my words.. it was pure raw adoration of how i felt for her. A reality check.

She still thinks of Deacon.. how it broke her heart to learn about the real him. The one she never knew.. the one i killed.

She still thinks about my betrayel to her..

But at least shes willing to talk. For me to explain how my wolf was... which im sure she knows since her brother is going through it now .. and my story.. about how my wolf absorbed my other side.. she knows i went through hell.

If i had known her as my mate sooner.. if Anita had never interfered.. we would be happily mated now.

But things fell into place. The moon wanted this to happen.. to purge the poison from my pack.

After stripping the sheets and putting on fresh ones, i realised the bedframe wasnt able to be salvaged. The left post at the foot of the bed, completely destroyed. I sighed, picking up a dumbell and lifting the bed, positioning it right under the post.

It would hold for now.

I wandered around the room, cleaning up the mess we made. The debris of dry wall would have to be cleaned tomorrow.

My wolf was happy.  I was happy. Maxim.. that sneaky wolf. He never told me he was bringing her here. Just said he was coming for a visit. She had been there for four months.. training with the beasts. The savages.

My sweet little savage.

I had smelled her scent before she knocked on the door to my living quarters. I thought it was just my imagination.  But when that knock sounded, i knew. I knew it was her.

She opened the door after i told her to come in, her fresh honeysuckle scent engulfing me. One I would never forget. I had closed my eyes, inhaling it with my back to her. Her voice rang out like silver bells, only with a hardness to it that wasnt there before. Still soft. I would be the only person in the world to detect the difference.

Once i turned to face her, her eyes widened, ready to pop out of her skull as did mine.. i stared at her.. looking her up and down. Appreciating her..

Her face, still the same features only those cheeks were hollowed out now, her cheekbones high and prominent. Eyes still so big and green.. like a vast meadow of clovers.. flecks of gold here and there. A beautiful starburst of color. Her skin was more worn.. from days of training in the sun. A richer olive.

My eyes had noticed everything, from the way her body had filled out to the stance.. the way she carried herself with pride.

The day she left me.. her body had only slightly gained back some of the weight she had lost from the stress. Still so thin, no muscle. Just skin and bones. Now... well now there was meat on her bones. She had filled out.. muscle was defined in every part of her body. When she was naked, i made it my priority to feel.. explore. Her body was firm yet still soft. So much more for me to love yet still slender. She has an extremely beautiful body. Even more so than the last time i had seen her. If it were possible.

The other things i had noticed before the thread of my sexual desires snapped, was the way her lips were so red and full.. her breasts.. the way they had swollen, even with gaining the weight back, they had become bigger; now much much more than a handful... but i could tell they were swelling from something else as well.

Her heat. Which was to come.

Her hips were a bit wider, thighs beautiful soft and voluptuous. Her ass.. god that ass.. even my large hands couldn't hold that firmness..

Her heat would be here very soon.. if the physical attributes werent a tale tell sign on their own.. then the sweet euphoric scent she was giving off was. I knew she had been drinking a heat tea because i could smell the herbs on her.. my nose is much more now that im Alpha. So therefore, i could still scent her heat coming. I would be the only one who would ever smell that through even the help of a tea.

Sighing, the room cleaned up to the best of my ability, i sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands.

I wish this were more simple.

I wish we could just start over now.. pretend like nothing bad ever happened but it did. Shes had all this time to think about it. About us. But instead she pushed it out of her mind. So now i have to give her the space to think it through but that wont mean i wont push my foot through that door and make her accept me with open arms again.

Just holding her.. carrying her to the tub.. the way she cuddled into me. Inhaling my scent.. everh fiber of my being was telling me she was mine.. that i could kiss her freely but that isnt the case.

But even she agreed, no more running.

Just then the door to the bathroom creaked open and there stood Nova. Dripping wet, wrapped in a soft white towel thay teased the back of her soft thighs.

"Nova." I stood with a small frown on my forehead... noting the way she limped with pain.. the claw marks and teeth marks i had left on her skin.. i felt overprotective in this moment. "Why didnt you call for me. You shouldn't be walking."

I hope i dont piss her off.. i know shes capable but the Alpha in me wants to care for his mate. I tried pushing this through the mate bond.. letting her know my intentions.

The corner of her mouth tugged up in the briefest of smiles.  "Its okay."

Shaking my head, i did what i wanted to do. I went to her, scooping her up in my arms as she gasped in surprise and carried her across the room to the salvaged bed.. her eyes assesed the surroundings.. impressed at how i had cleaned up for her.

"Ill get you something to wear.  Your clothes are destroyed." I had to hold in that chuckle that wanted to come out as i laid her down on the bed. My skin missed hers.. just from the breif moment i had to let her go to fetch her a tshirt of mine and a pair of clean boxers.

I keep both boxers and boxerbriefs around but the latter is my preference now. Now that im more grown.

Nova's eyes stayed on my naked torso.. watching my movements as i walked back over to her. She was still wrapped in the towel, wet, looking up at me with curiosity.

Without a word, i sat on the bed in front of her and tugged the towel away from her body. A heat rose in her cheeks.. she was flustered as my eyes, taking in all her naked beautiful flesh.. her breasts so perky and round. Tiny scars littered her body.. a warriors body. I could savor her forever. My frown appeared once more, seeing the blossoming bruises on her hips and waist..  ones that would match my hands. Claw marks in those voluptuous hips.. on his sides.. my teeth mark red and angry on the top of her breast.. and in her neck. Lovebites all over her neck and chest.. i had gone a little overboard.

"Im so sorry." I whispered with wide eyes as i put the shirt over her head.

She smiled up at me slightly, taking the boxers from my hands. " Im fine. I promise. thank you.. for the clothes i mean." She cleared her throat, hoping i didnt think she meant for the sex.

We weren't like we used to be around each other.. comfortable.

The bond made us feel happy but she still assumed i would do something to hurt her heart. I would remedy those thoughts.

Leaving her on my bed, i grabbed a brush from the bathroom and proceeded back to the bed where she was just sitting back down gingerly, a pained expression on her face. I had hurt her. I was too rough with her.

But it was so good.. so right.

Surprising her, i sat behind her body.. her eyes peering back at me curiously as my hands pulled her hair out from the collar of the shirt without a word and i begin to brush those damp deep chestnut locks gently, starting at the bottom and working my way up.

I always loved her long hair and it was even longer now.

Silently i worked.. i could tell her eyes were closed. Enjoying her mate grooming her skin side.  The pack would laugh if they saw this.. they think me to be rough around the edges and i am. But not for my mate.

Once finished, i leaned forward.. purposefully breathing onto her skin as i pulled her hair to one side.. watching as her flesh goosed from my breath. A gentle kiss was being pressed onto my mark.. the one that i had bitten into twice tonight in a need to re claim her. So red and swollen around the edges. A sigh escaped her rosy lips as she licked them.

I braided her hair up, taking my time.. she was enjoying this. Phase one of winning her back completely.  Tying it off at the end with her hair tie, i let my hand linger on her thigh as i got up and picked her up by the waist, moving her onto the pillows and covering her up with the blankets.

Sitting back down in front of her, i took her hand in mine.. our eyes locked.. hers holding some emotion i could only understand through the mate bond.

Love.

She still loved me. I had a chance.

"Nova." My voice, deeper than before, "I know you aren't ready to talk. Yet. But... im glad you are here. I want you to know that." I gazed at her with all sincerity as she trembled beneath me touch.. her grassy green orbs never leaving mine. "I love you.. more than life itself. Ive done everything i have with you at the front of my mind. This empire.. its for you. I dont want you to feel pressured to be Luna.. but.. you will always be my mate and i love you more than anything. I love you deeper than the mariana trench can reach.  I love you higher than the moon is up in the sky.. I love you harder than the hardest metal on this entire earth. I breathe every day just to be able to relive our past moments together in my mind. You are so strong Nova. So strong." I held her hand tighter as i spoke these words of determination. "I know you are so much more than anything i have ever known now.. i just hope you find me worthy of you still. If not now, maybe one day. But i just want you to know.. I still linger on the times we spent together. I crave your touch. Your taste. Its been built up inside and im so sorry i hurt you tonight but it was like nothing i have ever felt in my head." My head shook as i closed my eyes.

Her eyes blurred as her bottom lip trembled, her hand grabbing mine more firmly now as i expressed my unyeilding love for her.

A breath of laughter as i recalled an old memory, "remember.. when we were young pups.  You were five and I was nine. I never told you this.. but i always felt drawn to you, Nova. Despite our age gap.. i always loved you i think.  I remember always watching you and my brother play.. always keeping my eyes on you.. making sure you were safe. I always thought to myself how much more beautiful you were than any female in my grade.. sounds bad when i say it like that but.. i think i somehow always knew you were mine." I smiled gently as she took a shaky breath.  She is the most quiet i have ever seen tonight.

My hand reached up, cupping her cheek and she actually leaned into it to my surprise.. our eyes staring deeply into the others and i felt moisture in my eyes.  "I will always want you. Always need you. I will always have my entire heart available for you and only you... You are my heart. My soul. Nothing makes sense without you, love." I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers.. feeling that spark between our kiss. To my enjoyment, she responded.. lips full, soft and gentle .. reciprocating my kiss.. the tears i had held in my eyes falling, only i felt hers as well.. dropping onto my cheeks, mixing with mine.

I pulled away, afraid i would give her more than what she wanted, a gentle smile as my thumb brushed against the trail from her eye.. wiping away her tear. She was surprised i shed any for her but the only ones i ever did shed were for her and no one else. A female so worthy she can bring a full grown Alpha male to tears in a matter of seconds. So pure.  Gentle. Sweet.

"Thank you Nova. For taking no other male. For coming back to me." I rasped and she nodded.

"Thank you as well." The first words i had heard from her in a while.

Standing with a sigh, wiping my eyes with the backs of my hand, i leaned, kissing the top of her head. "Im going to shower. Make yourself at home. The remote is beside you on the table if you wamt to watch tv. Ill be out in a moment.. then i want to pull you into my arms and sleep with you right against my chest. Is that alright with you?"

Never looking back up at me, she smiled to herself, nodding shyly.

I couldn't hold back the grin that formed, leaving her to her thoughts as i padded to the bathroom.. ready to clean myself thoroughly.

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Once clean and dry, i made my way out into the bedroom, the steam from my hot shower billowing into the room as i found Nova fast asleep in my bed. Smiling to myself, something ive done more tonight than any.. i threw the towel around my waist into the hamper before slipping on a pair of black boxer breifs and climbing into bed beside her.

The bedside lamp, still the only light thay illuminated the room, glowing.. i switched it off letting darkness encase the room.. sliding in next to her, i rolled her so her hips were pressing into mine.. my hand snaking up gently under her shirt and pressing on her stomach so her back was snugly against my chest.. her head tucked right under my chin. Treating her delicately.. not wanting to cause her anymore pain. My fragile flower may be a warrior but shes still fragile to me.

I sighed contently. This is my dream come true. My one wish granted. I thanked the moon silently as i held this amazing she wolf against me.. her body wriggling to get closer unconsciously. I lifted her shirt just slightly so her lower back could be felt against my abs.. my hand gliding up between her breasts to rest there.. feeling her heart beat rhythmically.

I would sleep this way with her forever.

I just hoped she didnt wake up in shock and apall.

I wasnt trying to grope her. My hand just felt right there. On her breastbone. It was home to me.

"Goodnight my angel. I love you." It was whispered into her neck, my lips kissing her shoulder before i snuggled her to me and dozed off, the darkness taking me as a smile graced my lips.

The first time I have ever felt so much peace. First time ive smiled in forever.

I want to be this way.. with her. For the rest of my life.

Dun dun dun!

Qeue the awwwws!!

This was the sweetest chapter and it gets even sweeter but we have a couple obstacles and a breakdown to overcome until the end...

Someone else is in diar straights.

What do you think will happen when nova visits deacons grave?

What will happen to nic?

To Grace?

Whats happening with Eden?

Who are you interested in? Bc the story sticks woth nova and zaryn now till the end but there will be description ab the other characters and interactions so who do u wanna see??

Thoughts?

Commente?

Please vote!!!