62. Free As A Bird

Chapter Soundtrack:

Lynyrd skynyrd - Free Bird

(I always think of forest gump when jenny is standing on the ledge ab to jump. Being from the deep south i love some lyn skyn.

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Time jump is next chapter unless you wanna see one more from her time at this pack along with nic ans eden in the same chap.  Read AN below to vote!

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Another week later

Nova

Staring out at the pond from my bedroom window, flashback from that horrible night a week ago flood my memories. I get chills just thinking about Grace's lifeless body.. limp. Cold. Blue tinted..

What i said to her had some affect. Since that night she's been less depressed. Shes been eating. Shes been trying. Conrad has been putting all his effort in to helping her like he did with me.. she wakes up early to train. He no longer babies her... which is good.

For me?

Well... since my realisations that ive been a stage five clinger in the emotional department.. ive distanced myself this past week.. i was fully healed from the battlewounds of losing, the very next day. I went right out there and asked for more. Ive trained day and night.. fighting.  Trying to prove to myself that i did in fact deserve this tattoo on my arm. That i can be emotionally independent.  Ive stayed away from Conrad.. from Alexa.. from Damon.. from anyone i have formed bonds with here. I just needed to branch away. To make myself realise i can do this.

Conrad and I are still on good terms. He knows im trying to force myself to rely on me and hes been okay with that. We have talked a little here and there but i no longer wake him up in the mornings to train with me. No. Ive been doing it on my own.

He said that Dark Moon is a lot different.. that if i thought his pack was more wolf, that i wouldn't know what to do with Dark Moon because they are by far the most wolf like pack out there. That i probably wouldn't have friends.. that i would be on my own.  Id have to fight for everything i got.

Which is why i also gave my cellphone back to Conrad the day i was put up at the clinic. If im going to find myself.. if im going to be emotionally dependant.. i needed to cut all contact off from.everyone until i was ready. I know its not necessarily the right way to do things.. i know my family misses me..  but i have to do this for myself and my wolf. She misses being in packlife.. the life we had when Conrad was my constant.  Conrad and I will always be friends, we have established that.. but this was just something i needed to do.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with things.

This was mine.

Completely cut off from the outside.. forcing myself to make my own way.

Its for the best.

Throwing on some yoga pants, my workout hoodie and my trainers, i make quick work of brushing my teeth before hauling myself downstairs and out to the training feild. Now i start my mornings with a five mile run before working out and fighting.

I need to be better.

I want to be better.

I was no longer training to feel pain so i didnt have to think about the impending doom ahead of me.. no. I thought about my mateship.. i thought about Zaryn.  Deacon. Everything i had been blocking out had resurfaced but now I trained to be a stronger me.

My wolf would thank me for it later.

One day.. we would go back home.. and id be able to face those that i ran from. Face the demons that i once feared.

What Zaryn did to me still haunts me.. and what Deacon did as well..  but something inside is telling me theres more to the story. That theres more about Zaryn i dont know. About his wolf that i dont know.

With a huff, did a few stretches before i began my sprinting.. running through the early morning fog.. the dew wetting my nikes and the edges of my pants as i advanced into the territory.

Five miles was nothing to me now. Not with Beta blood in my system.

Beta wolves are naturally strong wolves... but females werent able to train at crescent moon. Now that i can... im seeing how quickly i excel.

More quickly than any other low ranking wolf.

And the fights i lost last week? The ones that had all the females swaggering with being able to take down the 'invincible beta female'.. it only brought others wanting to try me. This week i redeemed myself. My one off day resulted in more wanting to fight me... leading to more being shown they couldn't take me.

I have wont every match since the day i healed.

Trees flew past me in a blur as my legs carried me swiftly through the forrest..  feeling my muscles burn in delight. They no longer ached like they used to..

Im a ruthless trainer now. I wont stop. Ever. My wolf is less of a diva now...more of a warrior wolf that i imagined. The things weve been through has only made us less naive. The emotional things.. the things with deacon zaryn and now conrad? Those things made me stronger and continue to do so.

I was breathing deeply once the five miles were up, but i wasnt exhausted.

The sun had begun to peek over the horizon more.. brightening the atmosphere.. diminishing the fog and drying the morning dew. A cold chill still ran through the breeze but i was used to it by now.

Coming up on the training field once more.. i could see there were finally a few members coming out to get an early start.  Conrad and Grace being among the seven.

Taking a swig from my water bottle, i walked up to them with a gentle smile. "Hey guys."

Grace faced me.. her body slightly filling out with the food she was able to keep down. "Hey" she breathed with a small smile. Conrad grinned at me. "Getting better at those runs i see"  he nodded towars Grace. "Shes getting better too. Im proud of her." He beamed down at her as a blush appeared over her cheeks.. ducking her head in a bashful way.

This was the Grace i never knew.

I peered over at her. "You're doing good Grace. I want you to focus on being the best you can be. I have a feeling things are going to work out for you. For the both of you." I smiled up at Conrad but it didnt reach my eyes. I wasnt as happy as I was weeks ago.

Something passed over his features as he stepped forward to me. "Maxim is back at the pack. Todays the day i take you to Dark Moon... to stay.  By yourself. Are you sure you dont want to stay here? You know you're always welcome..."

A sad smirk tugged upward, my green eyes locking with his midnight. "I cant. As much as i want to.. i cant. You know this. What time will we be leaving?"

A tiny frown formed as his eyes dropped. "Five this evening. We at least want one last dinner with you... warrior."

Letting out a shaky breath i nodded. Nervous.. i was nervous to know what i was walking into. But i could have one last dinner before being thrown to the wolves.  Literally.

Suddenly arms wrapped around me. Small arms. I peered over to see a mess of blonde hair resting on my shoulder.  Grace. She sniffled. "Im going to miss you Nova. You saved my life. And,... for that im grateful. Dad told me it was you who forced him to face his feelings about me and i thank you so much. You really are a good wolf." She sniffled once more before my arms wrapped around her an i smiled up to the sky.

The moon has a funny way of bringing people together.

"Alright females . Enough of the mushy crap. Nova. Time to go fight. Go show them that beta blood in you." He chuckled as we let go of each other.

I bent, rubbing my cheek to Grace's.  "You're going to be alright." I whispered before walking away.. heading down to the pit, ready to release my wolf on some of the others.

Who knows?

Maybe i would get my chance to fight a male since its my last day. Ive already beaten all the females almost.

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I was being lifted, my ribs groaning as General Axe hoisted me in the air. "I can't believe you won! Well.. i can.. but look at you!!!! In just three months you have finally fought your first two males and won!!! Granted i did give you the easy ones but they were stronger than the females you've been fighting!" He chuckled, i couldnt help but to smile as he set me on the ground.

Conrad was beaming ear to ear. "Come on Nova.  Lets go get that extra canine added to your tattoo. You are now intermediate " he chuckled.

My brows rose. "Umm.. but if they stick me with intermediate at Dark Moon, im sure to get my ass handed to me with being able to fight males!"

He seemed to think on this. "Yourr right. Lets not jump the gun."

No wonder Lunas exist. Men would run a pack with out thinking. Conrad really needs a Luna... but his previous fling Rasheda was a thing of the past. She and Conrad has already lost interest in each other for the time being but i somehow figured it would pick up again a few months from now. Neither of them wanted the commitment so i hear from Grace.

We were all gathering for dinner.. everyone taking their seats at the tables in the dining hall.. Conrad at the head.. Grace in the Luna position and me in the beta position. He really needed to pick a Beta out of these warriors soon.. hold a battle for them. They were getting restless.

Conrad made his plate first, then Grace, then myself before the rest of the wolves were allowed to touch. Eyes of contempt drifted my way occasionally but i shrugged it off. Conrad raised his glass.

"Id like all of your attention." He stood, the wooden chair legs scraping against the floor causing every wolf to look his way. "Tonight we celebrate.. Nova's first two wins as an intermediate.. in just under three months she has come so far. But we also are gathered to celebrate her new life. This is her last night here at Blue Moon. Shes advancing her skills.. going to Dark Moon to finish her training. " gasps were heard all around as eyes bore into me. "Lets all wish her good luck on her new journey!"

Glasses raised for me all around and i knew some of those smiles were smiles of wolves who were happy to be rid of me because i showed them up

I clinked mt glass with conrad and Grace's...  sitting back in my seat to enjoy my last meal here at this pack.

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My face was still bruised and rib still broken ... stomach black and purple from fighting those males earlier as I grabbed my suitcases, meeting Conrad outside by his  truck.

It was time.

I didnt want other wolves around so i said my goodbyes to the friended i did have back at the pack house.

Smiling sadly, wistfully, Conrad took my bags and loaded up the truck as i turned to Grace.  Her eyes tearing up. She was still fragile minded as well as emotional.. "Nova?" She wouldnt meet my gaze.  "I just wanted to say thank you.. and that im sorry.  That ive grown to love you.. to look up to you. I know thats crazy considering our past but... i made this for you." She smiled up watery, holding up a leather braided bracelet with stainless steel bead in the center.. it was a flat round beas the size od a dime. Brushing my fingers over it , it read... no matter how far away, you will touch many hearts on your journey. Never forget how strong you are. Youll always have wolves who love you. Grace.

My eyeswatered as i gazed up to this female who has been broken.. misguided.. made mistakes.. now shes on her way to greatness ans it warmed my heart she made this for me.

I wrapped my arms around her.. inhaling her now comforting scent. "Thank you Grace."

A sob escaped her as she pulled away. "Its a friendship bracelet.  I figured.. maybe we can be friends?"

"Of course." I smiled gently at her.  Rubbing my cheek with hers.

"Please stay in touch when you can." Her big brown eyes pleaded.

With a nod. "Youll hear from me. Just not right away. I have some soul searching to do."

Nodding she sniffled, wiping her eyes as she backed away.

"You ready?" Conrads deep voice sounded as he leaned against the drivers side door.

With a nod, i slid the bracelet on my wrist and moved to the passenger side.. hopping in and rolling down the window just as he got in and shut the door.. starting up the engine.

With a deep inhale.. i closed my eyes once he began backing out...

I was going to Dark Moon. No turning back now.

Im as free as a bird now..

I just pray i change.. for the better. Because yes, i can change.  And i will.

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The drive was long.. Conrad had Lynyrd Skynyrd cranked up as loud as his radio would allow...

The evening sun sent a warm glow over the horizon.. the chilly air whipping my hair so badly i had to put it up in a bun.

We were singing along to free bird as loud as we could. Laughing.  He would spare me a look every now amd then.. a wistful smile on his face. Rewmbering his mate i suppose. Or the times we have had together.

Im not sure.

"Hey at least the bruises are nearly faded." He chuckled nodding toward my face.

Smiling, i shook my head.

It seemed like hours went by when in fact it was exactly two.

Did i mention that Dark Moon is just a packland away from crescent moon on its southern border? Silver Moon pack devides the lands...

Id be closer to my home pack than i wanted. I only prayed that no one found out i was there. Not until i accomplished my goal of finding myself. Making myself stronger.

Once the sun had gone down and the moon had risen high in the sky.. i held back my tears and emotions as he pulled onto a gravel drive which i figured to be Dark Moon. Just 45 minutes away from my old pack.

The gravel crunched under the tires as we drove slowly through the most beautiful tree lined drive i had ever seen.. the trees seemed to arch into one another, meeting overhead.  We kept driving.. and i had to keep the shock from my features as we pulled up to an ancient looking stone mansion.. something youd find in the old days. Maybe in europe. Two large gargoyles sat on the terrace above.. as if they were watching. Waiting. Bright  security lights illuminated the circle drive and the truck was being parked as Conrad killed the ignition.. turning to me.

"Well. Here we are." He grimaced.. glancing over to the mansion.. remembering things from his childhood.  This is where he grew up. Where his moments with cilla were had.

"Yeah." I breathed

Suddenly his hand was on my chin, forcing my gaze to his.. navy eyes willing me to listen and listen good. "Nova.  They will try to break your spirit.. dont let them. Aside from that this is a good pack.. to learn how to be a warrior.  But remember you need to fight.  Let that wolf of yours guide you.. you dont guide her because you wont survive mentally if you do. If she wants to fight, let her. If she wants to shift, let her. You let her guide you because you will be spending more time in wolf form here than you have in your life. Do you understand?"

With wide fearful eyes i nodded.  There was no turning back now.

He pressed a kiss to my cheek, rubbing his into mine in a meaningful gesture.. smelling my neck one last time before he let go, getting out if the truck as i took a calming breath, following suit.

As Conrad grabbed my luggage from the truck bed, the large front doors of the bizarre mansion opening.. and out stepped the largest wolf i had ever seen. Buff. Bigger than conrad. Height maybe even taller. He wore a thin grey tshirt.. tattoos from his hand all the way up, disappearing into the sleeve as he studied me.. approaching with this glint in his eyes.

"Wow." His deep barritone voice sounded as Conrad dropped my bags, coming up to him.

"She looks so much like Cilla it's ridiculous." He seemed thoughtful.

Conrad growled slightly. "Shes mated."

A knowing smirk appeared on his lips.. hair short on the sides and long on the front. "I know this. Oh yes i know.  To Zaryn of crescent moon. He's a good wolf. Ive been at their pack the past two weeks. Helping him cope."

This piqued my curiosity.  Why did Zaryn need help? Was he that bad off?

Alpha Maxim studied conrad before bringing him into a hug.. pressing his cheek to his. "Cousin. You look well." He smirked.

Conrad had a ghost of a smile on his lips. "As do you. Please.  Take care of her... she is with honor." At that, Maxim peered at me.. taking in my form with a nod. "No worries cousin. Shes safe."

Conrad and I said our goodbyes.. i watched in sadness as he left.. my wolf whining. She had grown accustomed to his wolf. Her Alpha.

Two large bulky wolves came out, grabbing up my luggage and disappearing inside.. at that moment.. i could hear many soldiers. Warriors coming from the backyard.. their grunts and warrior sounds a distinct thing I have learned to recognize.

"Come." Alpha Maxim smirked, ushering me inside. "Lets go over the rules. I can sense your wolf is strong so i will need to initiate you.. make your wold realise who the Alpha is now." He had this aire about him.. a flirty one at that. I could see him being a mateship wrecker.

But not for me.

He led me into the large tall ceilinged home.. a massive chandelier above me. As ancient as the outside looked.. it was so modern on the inside. Fancy.  Unlike anything i had ever seen.

"Whats all that i hear from the back?" My brow rose curiously. A smirk tilted up on his lips.. ushering me through a massive formal den before opening a set of french doors that led out to a terrace.. the stars illuminated overhead.. a pool below. Something youd see in a home guide for the wealthy.

But was had me gasping was the feild beyond the pack house.

Warriors..

Females and males alike.. some in fur and some in skin.. marching.. some going at each other like rabid animals.. ripping flesh from their bodies with bloodied teeth. Females breaking their opponents arms during a fight.

Complete and udder chaos.. but somehow it was uniformed.

I paled.

There was no way i was good enough to keep up with them

Maxim turned to me. "Oh buttercup. By the way? Dont challenge anyone unless you want to meet the moon or youre ready for them to meet the moon. We dont do submission here. We do death." He winked as i stared with my mouth open to the view below me.

Savages.

They really were a bunch of savages.

And i was about to be trained by them.

Dun dun dun!!!!

Nova is in for a special surprise.

I think i may add one more chapter from back at the pack since all pf you wanted a Nic and Eden pov but i sorta wanted to do the time jump.  You tell me what you want. Im taking votes. Say either time jump or nic pov. And i can also add a dark moon pov in the same chap. You tell me what you want!!!

Any feels on whats happening now?

I wanna hear it!

And whoo go nova! She won her first matches with males! But this pack is much more than shes used to. It will make her a better warrior though which is her dream.

Xoxo Chilee