55. Warrior

Chapter Soundtrack:

Beth Crowley - Warrior

Hey!

Sorry for the wait. Turns out my tot and i both have strep :( amongst other things. Heres your chap! I still need to edit the last one. Ill do it before bed. I gotta pick some songs anyway!!!

Enjoy!

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The photo above is the tattoo that means 'Warrior'.

The song is beside it. Not sure which is first. Swipe!

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Two months later

(From the last Nova chapter, Strong)

Nova

Standing in the mirror, i didn't recognize myself. Who is this new person before me?

My body, once slender with curves... was now a well toned masterpiece.. my legs are firm.. no longer skinny. Not extremely muscular either.. slender, just more defined. Strong.

Strong enough to carry me wherever i should ever go.

My arms, now lean. No loose skin from being too slim... no. My arms were now stronger too. Not bulky.. im not a body builder.

My stomach.. its toned as well.. no six pack because that was never what i wanted.. but my obliques are defined, disappearing into my shorts. A line that connects down to the muscle of my thigh. The skin is taught now.

Turning to the side, i examined myself as i stood in my yoga shorts and sports bra. My ass seemed bigger than it used to be.. my breasts larger as well. My face even looked fuller ..

I felt strong and beautiful now. No more gaunt bony frame.. i wasnt always gaunt and bony but after the whole 'my mate having a pup' disaster, i stopped eating and my body began to disappear.

Now i ate five small meals a day.. always hungry. Always training.

My body showed exactly how hard i have worked.

My hand lifted, tracing a scar with my fingertip along my hip that i recieved my second week here in my first fight with Alexa. It seemed so long ago.

Being strong isnt the only way my body has changed... im now also littered with tiny scars.. some big ones.  But i feel like they make me who i am. They tell of the journey i have gone through.. they tell of the pain ..

Sighing, i smiled to myself and slipped off my shorts, changing into yoga pants and a hoodie. It was time to train.

My favortie time of the day.

Conrad has made sure I have learned every thing i need to know.. for a novice anyway. he has made sure i wouldnt ever feel my emotional pain due to all the physical.. hes been my rock.  My friend. My teacher. I dont know what i would have done without him or where i would be. He has pushed me like no one else has done before.. he has believed in me.

And now im stronger for it.

Thoughts of Zaryn and everyone at my old pack play on my mind every now and then... Deacon too. But i usually shove them back down as soon as they pop up... i haven't given myself a chance to even think about it.

A knock on my door broke me out of my thoughts. "Nova! Come on! You're gonna be late! Alpha is ready for you!" It was Damon. One of my new friends here..

Slipping my socks on, i ran to the door and threw it open for him, smiling.  "Hey. Im almost done.  Just gotta put shoes on."

Walking into my closet, i grabbed my black nikes while Damon made himself comfortable on my bed.

"Hey Nova. You know what today is dont you?" He eyed me with a sly grin, hazel eyes twinkling with his hands behind his head.. resting on my pillow.

I peered up at him as i slipped my last shoe on, a smirk forming on my lips. "But of course. How could i forget? Its going to be nice taking Alexa down today." I winked, grabbing my water bottle from the dresser.

Damon sat up, his dark hair falling to the side, "If you can take her."

Damon was Alexa's twin brother. The two of them have become good friends of mine since I've been here.. they were the first to really welcome me .. its hard to find your place here when you're new. They are more wolf than skin.. everything has to be fought for. But Alexa told me once that she saw how hard i worked and they both respected me for it.

I rolled my eyes at him as he followed me down the stairs of the packhouse. "Come on Damon. Give me a break. Ive been training for months now."

He shoved me to the side, into the wall, jogging down the stairs past me as he turned his head around, "two months." He winked.

I sent a warning growl out of my chest.. my wolf didn't like his teasing or his shove even if it was playful. Conrad always said never to be big headed about your abilities. Be confident but never arrogant because someone is always going to be better than you.

"Ohhh is someone's wolf maaaad? Did i make the wittle wolfy mad?" He made a pouty face as we hit the foyer.  I sent him a glare, heading out the back door, down the deck.. bursting into a sprint once i reached the ground with Damon hot on my trail.

my wolf has become a lot more dominant since we have gotten stronger.  I trained in skin form only for the first month.. understanding how to keep my wolf from breaking free and interfering..

Conrad explained to me that if one side became too strong, that the other would become weak. He had seen it happen in Dark Moon many times with his cousin, Maximus. The late alpha. He explained how important it was to make sure both sides were equally strong and harmonized.. being on the same page as your wolf mentally.. but also making sure they trained as well.. to match up to how i was changing physically.

It was a process.. mind and body.

A wolf who's skin side was weaker would become stronger and take control more easily.. and a wolf who's skin side was stronger would be a weak wolf.. self conscious.. never expressing its needs or instincts. Both cases caused a mental break down in that person.

No wonder my old pack was so.. weak. I wonder if that was what was happening to Zaryn before i left..

Therefore.. my wolf trained for the second month just as I did. All the warriors on the training ground would shift.. challenging each others wolves. Fighting them. We would run as well.. miles we would run our wolves.. the wolves would have full control over our minds.. we wouldnt stop them. With an Alpha around to guide us.. to teach us.. we could let the wolf out freely... without worrying if they would do something stupid.

It was such a nice change.

My wolf was happy.. content. She had never felt so loved and at home. She was happier with me as well. But she still missed her mate... and she would express that to me occasionally.

I ran as hard as i could toward the training ground, Damon coming up beside me. The sun was bright but the air was cool.. a nice autumn day. I felt my lips pull into a smile unconsciously as i drew in a breath.. working my muscles as we ran... the trees flying past us, nearly bare from the falling if leaves.

Making it over the hill top, we raced down the valley, seeing all the warriors present... a match was going on. Conrad stood to the side.. analyzing the male and female who were currently sparring in their skins. His eyes caught mine as I jogged up to the grounds, Damon going his own way.

"Hey." I grinned up at his tall form, trying to catch my breath as Conrad smiled down at me... his dark blue eyes expressing excitement for my official first fight. He has smiled a lot more lately.

"You ready? Youre up next. I want you to warm up first.. looks like you've already had your jog in.  Why dont you go over there with Alexa and do some stretches." His deep voice sounded over the grunts and shouting from the other warriors..

"Okay." I couldn't keep the excitement off my face as i turned, seeing Alexa wating for me with a smug smirk, near the equipment.

All the wolves were out today.. even some of the parents.. it was a day for everyone to get some exercise.  The training feild had equipment for everyone.. even a few obstacle courses. There were no unhealthy wolves in this pack. Everyone maintained their fitness. The elderly got a pass but even some of them worked out. The pups were scattered around playing ball with each other.. it was almost like a pack function. We never had these at my old pack. Just barbecues.

"Hey Lex. You ready?" I sprinted over to her as she smiled slyly, pulling her dark brown hair up in a messy bun.. her hazel eyes glinting with amusement.

"You know im not going to go easy on you right?" She winked.

I sat on the ground, stretching my legs out as she did the same. "Well i hope you dont because that would just be a waste of all this training." A breath of laughter escaped my lips.

She flashed her pretty smile then she glanced around before leaning in. Whispering.  "So... whats going on with you and Alpha?" Her brows wiggled suggestively.

I frowned. "What do you mean? We are just friends.. i told you that before. come on im mated and im 17." I scoffed, shaking my head with a slight smile.

She puckered her lips, giving me a look that said, 'i dont believe you.' "Come on Nova.. he lets you call him conrad. No one else can call him conrad! Its always Alpha or Alpha Conrad." She pressed, her body sinking down between her stretched legs.

"We met under unusual circumstances. " i shrugged. "His daughter.. uhh.. ex daughter.. was pregnant with my mates pup."

Her face fell instantly. "Oh yeah.. Grace and Zaryn. I forgot you mentioned that before.. wow. That must have been really tough. I never thought Zaryn would hook up with anyone while he was here training. Je seemed so.... patient." She gazed at me with something akin to pity. I didnt want her pity.

My face contorted into confusion, "you knew Zaryn? How come you never mentioned it?"

Her lips pursed in an aplogetic smile, "Well.. he did train here. I thought you already knew that we all had known him. I was.. i was one of Grace's friends. We all hung out with him together.  He was a nice guy." Her eyes left mine, unsure of how i felt about it.

So this was one of the females Zaryn had told me had hung out with. I remember distinctively him telling me about his time here.. how the males were so agressive that they werent easy to make friends with so he had hung out with a group of females..

So she was one of Grace's friends...

I shook my head, "Its not a big deal. She had a still born.  They werent an item or anything. I hated her.. until i found out what Anita did... that devil witch's." I felt my eyes narrow just from the mention of her name as i held onto my left foot, bringing my body down to stretch.

Alexa was stretching her opposite leg, so we were facing each other, our head leaned over to the side. "Anita.." she seethed. "She was always a creepy destructive b!tch. We all couldn't stand her. Alpha only allowed her to stay because of Grace. She was his everything... i know you probably harbor feelings against her but .. she wasnt a bad person." A sad smile spread across her lips.

Shrugging once more, "nah. Im over it. Its in the past. Besides.. she's suffering what i went through now. My brother is her mate.. and he is having a pup with another female.. my best friend Eden. The moon isn't one to mess with." Leaning upward, we grasped each others forearms and i pulled her toward me in a stretch.

Her eyes, filled with surprise, found mine, "have you told Alpha?"

Shaking my head, "didnt figure he would care how Grace fared once he rejected her as his daughter."

She pulled me toward her this time for my stretch.. her lips pursing. "I dont know Nova.. Alpha always treated Grace as his little princess who could do no wrong. You might want to tell him. When we all found out he wasnt her father and he left her at the pack... we were all stumped.  Id never have guessed he would have reacted that way."

This caught my attention, my eyes green widening up at her.

"Girls come on! You're up!" Conrad shouted from the fighting area we called 'the pit', which was nothing but a large space of dirt ground.

Alexa glanced over at Conrad before her eyes found mine, a fire burning in them. "you ready?" She smirked.

Sighing, i dusted my hands off on my pants, "as ready as ill ever be!" A broad grin stretched my lips as she pulled me up and we walked over to the pit together.

Alexa wouldn't let me win just because. It would make her look weak. She was going to give me a fight worth fighting and i truly believed that.

Alexa and I were facing each other in the center of the pit.. dirt the only thing beneath out feet.. a her eyes flashed deviously from me to conrad and back to me, her brows going up and down suggestively. I rolled my eyes at her  which i have been doing a lot lately.

"Alright! Today Alexa and Nova are sparring. Its been two months since their last match when Nova was just training." Conrad bellowed. "This will be Nova's first official fight as an actual beginner. Both females are now in the same category so lets see what our warriors have learned!." The wolves around us hooped and hollered.. ready for blood to be spilled.

I felt the adrenaline pumping through my veins as i readied myself, getting into my stance. Alexa put on her serious face.. ready to fight, as Conrad came to the center.

"Go!" He yelled.

This time i wasn't going to hit the ground. Not one single time.

I waited for Alexa to make her first move.. watching where she coiled her muscles as we circled each other like sharks.. waiting.

Thats when i saw her left arm tense and knew what she was going to do. She brought her fist out but i was quick to dodge it.. her right thigh muscle flexed and i was quick to grab her foot when her leg came off the ground, flying at me. With my strength.. i twisted, rolling her onto her stomach and she fell onto the hard dirt with a thud. Quickly i mounted on top of her as the crowd cheered for Alexa to get up and take me down.

Alexa rolled me, her fist coming down, cracking into my jaw. Her other fist was about to pound down but i caught it.. our glares meeting. Holding her fist in one hand, i sent my own to her nose.. blood spewing out as she faultered, leaning backward.

I took that advantaged and flipped her so i was back on top.. landing hard punches to her gut but she managed to kick me off of her, sending me falling onto my ass. Jumping up, she wiped her nose.. brows creasing as she readied herself for me. I flung my legs over my head and sent them up and forward, my back coming off the ground, landing on my feet and popping up, not giving her a moment before my fist collided with the junction of her jaw and her temple. Bringing my knee up, i sunk it into her stomach and she staggered.

Her eyes flashed. She was trying to reign in her beast.

This was going to be a long fight.

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Thirty minutes later, i thought i was dying as i sat atop of Alexa who laid defeated.. bleeding on the pit of dirt. I was also heavily bleeding from my nose and mouth.. gashes and scrapes on my body and my face from our fighting. Both of us would be sporting black eyes.

But i won.

The wolves were ooooh'ing and ahh'ing and some were clapping, whistling.

I felt my wolf pereen around in my head.. as if she were taking bows from an inaginary audience.. her tail swishing back and forth.

My wolf is a diva i believe.

Grabbing Alexa's hand, i pulled her up from the ground as we both staggered away.. the next pair wasting no time to rush into the circle, wanting to have their turn to recieve praise from the crowd and show off their skills.

Handing Alexa off to an awaiting Damon, he slapped me on the back with a grin as i winced. "Good job newbie. Maybe Alpha will let you get the warrior symbol now." he chuckled before carrying Alexa off to the pack doctor as i stared at his back in confusion.

Warrior symbol?

Shrugging my shoulders, i brushed it off as I watched them disappear over the hill. Alexa would be fine...fully healed by tomorrow.

No hard feelings. This is how things went around here.

"So.. " Conrads barritone voice sounded behind me. I swiveled, blood running down my shirt as i faced him, craning my neck up, seeing he wore proud smile on his face.. one that showed perfect white teeth.  A rare thing to see on him. Even his eyes were smiling.

"Looks like you have won your first official fight."

I couldn't help but to return the grin.. despite the blood staining my teeth and my face swollen and bruise.. eye closing on me. i had broken no bones this time and i felt like i had climbed mount everest and now i was dancing at the peak.

"I guess i did!" I chuckled.. the pain setting in as the adrenaline began to wear off.

Conrad slung his arm around my shoulder, pulling me away from the training grounds as we walked back up to the pack house together. Each step was starting to sting but i welcomed it. I was going somewhere now. I have come so far.

"Tomorrow night im taking you to celebrate." He tried and failed to hide a smile as we walke, his eyes facing straight ahead.

Peering up at him, his strong jaw was all I could see, my other eye not wanting to open properly.  i missed a step, stumbling but his massive hands caught me instantly, closing around my waist completely.  Sighing, he scooped me up in his arms and proceeded to carry me up the hill.

"I can walk!" My voice was high pitched as i protested.

He just laughed, shaking his head. "You can be billy bad ass next time. Its your first fight. You look like complete sh!t. Seriously. Hell is an understatement for how you look right now. Ill help you. Besides.. you didnt break anything. Im proud of you Nova.  You did great." He beamed down at me.

I felt heat rise to my face from his compliment... a slow blush spreading across the apples of my cheeks. Clearing my throat, I pried my eyes away from his. Sometimes i caught myself staring.. he's attractive. I admit it. I have thoughts sometimes.. but i would never act on them

"So where are we going tomorrow night for this.. celebration?"

I felt so tiny in his giant arms which were nearly the size of my thigh. His muscled torso pressing into me.. his comfortable scent.. i found myself biting my lip.

My wolf wasnt happy.

"We are going out for drinks. Invite some friends. But i have to pre approve because some of these idiots get on my nerves." He whispered the last part and i couldnt stop the laughter.

"Thanks rad rad." I giggled.

He glared down at me. "Dont ever call me that again."

Swatting his chest i laughed it off as he carried me up the deck of the pack house and brought me inside.

This was probably the best day of my life in such a long time..

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After a long hot soak in epsoms salt.. my body felt a little better. Tomorrow i would be healed completely.

Dinner was interesting to say the least... I sat with Alexa, the two of us looking as if we were hit by a bus. The pack had some choice words to call us as well. Conrad sat at the head, where the Alpha always sits. Since his Beta position is still being fought over, the seat to his right was open.

He didnt have a Luna or either, so the seat to the left was open as well.

The right seat was always for the Beta, the right hand man, or wolf in this case... and the left was always for the Luna.. closest to the Alpha's heart. If an Alpha was mateless, a top ranking wolf would take that seat.. someone with prestige.

Tonight, he let Alexa and I have those seats. Myself on his left and Alexa on his right. We joked that he should make her the Beta but the other males at the table who were fighting the position growled at that. Then someone had the audacity to say maybe he should make me his Luna which had me choking on my steak. Conrad laughed a good bit at that.

After dinner, I had planned on telling Conrad about Grace. It had been on my mind since Alexa had brought it up....but he had other things in mind.

"A Tattoo!?!" I gaped up at him as we stood inside the pack tattoo parlor. Black and white walls with oddeties sitting on shelves made of glass.. the smell of incense and vaseline in the air.

He glanced down at me as we stood in front of a glass case, arms folded as the large wolf behind the counter, shorter than Conrad but almost as broad, just stared between the two of us with confusion.

"Yep. You're a warrior now.. so you, like every other warrior in my pack.. need your symbol marked on you."

So this was what Damon meant...

My eyes went wide. "B-but technically im not apart of your pack!"

His forehead creased in a frown as he narrowed his eyes at me. "Well the rest of the pack doesn't think that. Hey if you dont want to show it off to the other warriors thats fine. But they will all wonder why you didnt get it. Im jusy saying." He shrugged his shoulders as the thirty something burly wolf sitting behind the glass counter was still gaping between the two of us, his slicked back inky hair and black leather jacket, really complimenting the tattoo shop.

I sighed, worrying my lip. "Does Alexa have one?"

"Yep."

"Will it hurt?"

He dead panned me. "Seriously?"

Guess he had a point..

i have sort of been breaking bones and getting my face bashed in for fun so i wouldnt have to feel emotional.

I relented with another sigh. "Okay. What am i supposed to get."

Conrad broke out in a huge grin, "thats my girl." He opened the binder in front of us, flipping through the pages until he came to one that held dark black markings. He pointed to one that was a large thick black ring.. with two triangles at top-center that ran down into a line.. on either side of the line in the center of the circle, a triangle shaped like a wolf's canine. A very familiar looking symbol.

"This is the symbol for warrior. You'd wear it on your inner bicep. As you advance to intermediate, youd add a canine shaped triangle.. and for expert, you'd add another. So there'd be four marks instead of two." He explained in his deep voice, his large finger tracing the circular pattern.

I let out a breath, "okay." My eyes met his. "Lets do this."

A sly smirk spread across his lips. We both looked up to the big beefy wolf expectantly.. his eyes still wide and mouth open as he glanced from me to Conrad and back to me. Conrad growled low at the wolf..

"Gage! What are you staring at!" He snapped, features pinched in a feirce expression as i watched silently.

Gage, the large wolf behind the desk..  his eyes went wider as he shook his head. "Nothing Alpha.. its just..." he leaned in.. glancing at me then back at conrad before he whispered,"She looks like.."

"I know!" Conrad snapped. "Now get her in the chair before i start breaking things!" A rumble released from his chest. This was the Conrad i first encountered.

Gage quickly scurried out from behind the desk as I failed miserably at hiding my laughter, and led us to a room with a black curtain for a door. Conrad ushered me inside as i peered around the room.

A black leather reclining chair sat in the middle with a metal tray next to it, sitting on a stand. It almost reminded me of the dentist. The walls were blood red and various art work hung on those blood red walls.

That did not remind me of the dentist.

"Have a seat." Gage gestured to the ominous leather chair and i could instantly feel my adrenaline spike.. my heart sped up .. pumping hard. A large warm hand went to my lower back. Body heat radiating from behind me as Conrad stepped closer.

"Its okay. Go on. It doesn't hurt as much as you think."

Nodding to myself, i sat in the chair, resting against it as my eyes found their way to Conrad's.  His lips pulled up at the corner into an encouraging smile. This would be okay.

It was only pain.

I've become accustomed to pain. This would be nothing. Just a permanent mark on my skin forever.

What if i went to another pack one day? Would this symbol make me a pack member?

"Hey Conrad?"

Gage choked on his own saliva as he coughed out.. dropping something on top of the tray. Conrad glared at him as he apologised repeatedly before his midnight eyes met mine. "Yes Nova?"

I swallowed. "This is forever right? Is this mark for your pack only? Or..."

He shook his head, "no. Its a general symbol. For warrior. Wolves from your old pack have them too. All warriors from every pack have one." He explained.

My mind wandered.. the symbol was so familiar.. where have i seen it before? He said expert would be two canine triangles on each side..

Then it clicked.

"My dad.. he has one." I felt my eyes widen. "But the triangles at the top.. are at the bottom on his." It had been a long time since i had seen his tattoo. The only tattoo he ever had.

Conrad nodded. "Because he is from the south.  The north has them on the top. We dont do east and west. You're either from the north.. or the south."

That explained so much.

"What if I went to a southern pack?" I rose a brow.

"Then you would have two more triangles put on the bottom. The line running down the center would start and end with the double triangles. Not many wolves have that. That would make you a very skilled warrior." He chuckled. "Lets not get ahead of ourselves.. you're still a beginner remember?"

Smiling, i nodded as i let out a breath.

This mark was symbolic.  This was something that a pack warrior wore.. something that was special.

I peered back up at him with unsureness. "Do you think i deserve to have this? I mean.. im not even that good."

His forehead creased, his eyes hardening.  Looking over at Gage, "get out."

Without another word, Gage dropped his tools and hauled ass out of the room as Conrad took a chair, rolling it over to me and sitting on it so the back rested under his arms. His dark blue eyes fixed on me as he stared deeply.

"Nova you are a lot better than you give yourself credit for. Ive taught you to not think of yourself as a pro.  And for good reason.. but have you seen how far you've come? How much you've conquered? If anyone deserves this symbol, its you. You deserve it. Not only have you become a warrior of your own life.. but you fight so well. I never wanted to give you a big head but Alexa is one of my best beginners. I never told you that for a reason. I made you think she was the lowest rank .. but you beat her fair and square. You deserve this. You're only getting better. One day... one day you will wear the unitied symbol of North and South when you are ready.. and one day you will have four canine triangles to signal your expert level. But until then.. know that you deserve this." His stare never wavered. There was so much surety in his words..

My lips parted in surprise. I never knew that I was as good as he had said.. he never wanted me to know i was that good. And i appreciated that.

"Thank you." My eyes turned glassy just thinking how this Alpha wolf considered me worthy of this symbol.. of the symbol no female wears in my old pack.

Shaking his head, he let out a breath of laughter. "Its nothing. You deserve it. Its all you." He turned toward the curtain covered  door, "Gage!!! Shes ready!" His barritone voice sounded out so loud i cringed.

Gage didnt waste any time scurrying back in.. he plopped himself down and began to unwrap a set of silver needles.

Whoa wait..

Silver?

Of course.. A wolf couldnt be marked permanently any other way.

This was going to burn.

Taking another deep breath, i closed my eyes.. feeling a large hand cover my own.. squeezing it. I squeezed his back as the tattoo gun came to life, vibrations from the motor filling the air.

Once the silver needle touched the soft skin of my inner bicep, i felt the burn.. the ink had to be mixed with silver as well.. acid is what it felt like but i clenched my jaw as well as Conrads hand and pushed through it.

This was my mark.

One i would be proud of forever.

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My arm throbbed with sensations i had never felt before.. the silver needles and ink laced with liquid silver had my inner arm feeling as if it were burning alive.. the skin surrounding it red and inflamed.

"Conrad.. this fùçking hurts." I groaned as I laid on his huge bed, my arm wrapped in saran wrap to cover the tattoo while it healed. The artist, Gage, said it would heal slowly.. like a human tattoo. Maybe two weeks until it was looking good.

Conrad chuckled darkly as he climbed on top of the other side of the bed, laying down beside me.

We did this occasionally.. just to talk. Sometimes in my room.. sometimes in his. The pack knew of our friendship.. some were still skeptical but i didnt care. He's my friend.

The tv in front of us was on some reality show about bad girls who switched shampoo out with bleach on each other, among other things , but we paid no mind to it, as we were in our own thoughts.

He turned to his side to look at me, eyes scanning my healing arm.. the ink dark, standing out against my skin.  "You got your first tattoo. How do you feel?" A smirk pulled up on his lips.

My brow arched,  "Like my arm is being dipped in acid and its going to melt off?"

I felt the bed shake as he chuckled again. "Well.. you can now consider yourself a true warrior. Any other pack who saw you would treat you as so. With respect." A gleam of pride in his eyes.

My wolf was panting inside my mind, her tongue hanging out as a giant grin was shown on her face. The tattoo would be visible on her as well.. pigmented on her inner foreleg. The fur wouldnt sprout there anymore.  Anyone who saw her with the mark would know. She was so proud.

"You know.." he raised himself up a little, his jaw resting in his hand as he stared at me, "Im not saying i want you to leave.. because i dont. But my distant cousin.. Maxim.. the Alpha of Dark Moon.. if you ever wanted to really be the best you could be.. I could take you there to train. I know you training only started out as an outlet so you could heal.. but i think you could really be something special.  You have the speed.. the fluid movements.. the agility... and youre a fast learner and you fight hard.. with training from his pack as well as mine.. you could be ... undefeated." There was no hint of a smile as he told me this.. all seriousness on his face. He believed in me. This powerful Alpha believed in little ole me.

I sat up.. my mind turning it over.. "you think so?" My wolf was going crazy.

He nodded. "I do. I think you could beat any male.. well except for an Alpha." A smirk. "But any male other than an Alpha.. i know you could take them with the right training." His lips pursed as he thought something over..

"How about... i train you until you are at expert level.. then i take you to Dark Moon.. let you see what they are about? At this rate.. you'll be in expert by six months if you keep training like you have and thats saying something." His eyes held mine.. so much determination in them.

My wolf yipped at me. She liked this idea.. she wanted to explore her talents.. to go to one of the most feircest packs in all the world. To see how they lived.. to train. For us to become more. A sudden desire to push myself to my most possible limits overcame me as i chewed my bottom lip.. finding Conrad watching me with curiosity.

"Okay. I want to do it." A smile tugged revealing my teeth. "But i dont want six months.  I want two. I want to be better than anyone i have met. I know you said there will always be someone better but i want to be better than the ones i know.. aside from the Alpha ofcourse." My eyes rolled as i grinned.

Getting up on my knees, my gaze met his.. never wavering as I spoke my detrmination to him, "I want to be a true warrior. I want to fight in battle. I want to-"

His eyes widened, "Whoa Nova.  Calm down." He chuckled.  Dark eyes assesing me. "No one can do that in two months. Not even me."

My wolf didnt like thay sort of talk. Narrowing my eyes at him, i felt all the truth in my words. "I can. I know i can. I just need to train more.. all day long. Every day. No breaks. I want to do this." The sudden desire inside my wolf and i made me realise i needed this. We both wanted this.. what better way to unite my fur and skin sides than with this... our one true fantasy we both shared.

He was at a loss for words as he stared at me.. eyes like he had seen a ghost.  "Okay then....... We will start after tomorrow."

My mind was spinning, my brow raised.. a slow smile spreading across my lips.

He admired me, his gaze never leaving mind as his head shook slightyl, "You're something else Nova." It was whispered.. low and raspy. I took it as a compliment.

I felt my cheeks heat from that compliment.

Feeling accomplished in some way... now that i knew what i wanted to do with my future.. i relaxed, my muscles uncoiling.

I wouldn't let this mate mark define me. I could be who i wanted without being with my mate. I didnt need a male. And i sure as hell wouldn't need one to protect me. I wouldn't be sheltered like Grace had always been.

It was funny how Conrad was so adamant about females training but he kept her away from it. Sort of hypocritical in a way.. sort of sexist. But i can see why he did it. She was his last line to cilla.

Then I remembered why i had initially sought Conrad out tonight now.. he was quietly watching me still.. his wolf peeking out... curious as to what mine was thinking.

I was sitting on my knees still, my body shuffling so i could face his lounging form. It was time to bring this up. He didnt know.

"Conrad.. would you be curious to hear about how Grace is doing?" I bit my lip nervously.

A sudden frown marred his forehead as his brows knitted. "What?"

Sighing, "its just.. you and i never talk about it.. and i wanted to know if youd like to know that..."

I waited for him to say something. Anything that would give me the go ahead.

"What Nova? Spit it out." His tone was stern but not one of authority as he sat up, his muscles rippling beneath his shirt.

Inhaling, my chest expading with the oxygen.. "EdenispregnantwithNicspup." I said it so fast it came out as one entire word. My eyes were wide and his were just confused.

"What?"

Sighing heavily, "Eden is pregnant with Nics pup.  Grace wears his skin side mark as well.. I know we haven't talked about her but.."

His features hardened immediately.  "I dont want to talk about it."

But i could see the pain in his eyes as he said it.. the pain my words had caused. He did care. He did want to talk about it. It was my turn to be doctor his dr. Phil.

"Conrad.." my head cocked to the side.

His glare turned harsh. "I said no Nova." Those words were spat.

Determination came over me as i gripped the bedspread.  I clenched my jaw ...teeth pressing. "You always make me talk. Now its Your turn Conrad. Alexa told me how you treated Grace.. as if she could do no wrong. Yet you left her and abandoned her once you realised she wasnt yours, slaughtering her real father so talk about it! I know you want to! You've helped me so much.. let me help you. You keep her picture by your bed! I know you still care so what's the problem!? You even felt pain and concern when i just told you that!"

He rose from his bed, fists clenched as he loomed over me. "I said no!!!"

I rose as well..kneeling on the matress. i wasnt backing down. "Talk to me!! Stop doing that!"

He held my glare for a moment.. neither one of us wavering before a sigh of defeat left his lips, his head falling for a moment until tortured midnight orbs greeted me.. the face of a man who had lived a life of misery.  "I.. I just dont know how to feel." He rasped.

I tugged his hand, making him sit back down on the bed.. he peered over at the photo of Grace and the one of Cilla.

"Conrad. Tell me how you feel. Its just us. No need to keep this mask up. You're someone else on top of being an alpha. You're still a wolf."

He let out a sigh, falling back on the bed, hands going to his face.. rubbing.

"I love her. Grace. I always will I think." His hands rested on his strong chest. His eyes stared up at the ceiling.. they were sad.. wandering. "That day in Blakes office.. when i found out she wasnt my own.. I was hurt.  It wouldn't have been too terrible but i found out she had known this whole time.. since her shift.. that Anita knew.. that my own Beta was the father.. i just.. I just lost it."

I remember the day quite well.

I licked my lips, thinking of my next question.

"Would you have reacted differently if she hadn't known?"

His eyes were glassy as he turned his head to meet my gaze.  "I think so. Yes. I wouldn't have done what i did."

I remembered something. "You said once.. while Nic mom and Blake were talking after my dad and Blake fought.. that since you discovered Nic was first born, that you'd stake claim on Grace again.. but you said it turned out she didnt want anything to do with you anymore.. that you wanted to see her before we left that night..."

He nodded.  "I felt... guilty.  Ive raised her for her entire life. Ive loved her as my own.. ive spoiled her.. ive treated her the way i never got to treat Cilla. Grace is apart of her.. and i thought she was apart of me." He swallowed hard. "I wanted to make up for all the wrong i did to cilla through Grace..." he rasped.. gaze far away in memory land.

"Do you miss her? Worry about her? Do you still love her?" I watched as his eyes met mine.. filled with so much pain.. a lone tear falling down his temple which immediately made my heart clench with sadness. Conrad doesnt cry.

"Yes." He whispered, wiping away at his cheek angrily.

Sighing sadly, "Everyone cries Conrad. Its nothing to be ashamed over. And i would be worried if you didnt still love her." I reached out, touching his arm gently.

"Maybe you should call her? " i suggested softly as i stroked his arm..

His hand closed around my wrist, stopping me.. the raw pain in those midnight eyes evident in the way he stared. "She doesn't want me to." Leaning up, he sat on the edge of the bed, back facing me.. his shoulders slumped.

"Would you ever take her back? As your daughter?"

"Yes... " his head hung. "Im ashamed of how i treated her.. my princess.  Your dad was able to look past it all and still accept your brother as his.. but my own pride got in the way of what truly mattered to me.. and that's my family. Even if she isnt really even mine."

I felt a sense of pride for my father in this moment.. how selfless he was to overcome the same thoughts that Conrad had... and how conrad was finally telling me how he felt. Even if it did involve my ex arch nemesis.

I watched his fingers gripping his hair as he pushed them through the dark locks.

"Conrad.. would you like me to call Eden and find out whats going on with her?" I offered.

Pausing, he turned his head side ways, his eyes peereing back at me.. thinking.  Finally he nodded solemnly.  "Thank you."

A soft smile pulled up on my lips. "Its not a problem. I havent talked to Eden in a few weeks anyway. I'll be right back."

Getting up from the bed, my heart fluttered nervously as i padded into my room, taking my phone from the bed side table. I dont know why i was so nervous.

Dialing Edens number, she picked up on the third ring.

"Nova. " she breathed, relief in her voice. "I was actually just about to call you."

I frowned as i sat on the edge of my bed. "Hey Eden.. whats going on? Are you okay? Hows the pup?"

She laughed, "better than okay. The pup is great so far..  I finally told your brother that i couldn't be his mate.. that i didnt want to. And you know what? He was okay with it. We can work this out as friends.. it makes me happy." I could hear her smiling through the phone.

I couldn't help but to smile too. "Im glad. Wait.. what do you mean you couldn't be his mate? Hasnt he chosen Grace? He did mark her..."

"Oh Nova..." she gasped.  "You dont know..."

"Know what?" I felt my heart speed up.. this would be bad news.. i could feel it.

"Blake came out to the pack about his secrets.. five males challenged him. Alpha Reynold was present as well. Oh Nova so much has happened.. the pack is falling. All the members want Blake to step down.. he has lost everyones respect and they want Nic to be their next Alpha..."

My mouth fell open as the words registered in my mind.  Could my brother really be the next Alpha?

"they let Zaryn get out of the trials since he was just in killing Deacon.. but they still want to challenge him for his position in pack hierarchy." My blood ran cold... my wolf whimpering inside my head.

"But they dont want Grace as their Luna. Blake agreed he would train Nic to know what he knew in three months. Two of those months are up. One more until they expect him to take over and challenge Blake.. he has been training and doing so well,  but he has to reject Grace and pick another mate. Oh Nova its gotten so bad here.. i can't stay much longer. Once we figure out who will hold the title.. if Nic cant beat Blake.. i have to leave. The pack will self destruct.. And He wants Grace. He doesnt want to be Alpha.  Hes so upset.  The pack still wanted Grace punished so Blake has her out in a cabin a mile away.. shes locked in there, away from all packlife.. until the three months are up. She knows im pregnant and the mark on her is driving her wolf to insanity. I know shes done some awful things but no wolf deserves to have their wolf trapped.. unable to shift and let them wander. Shes going to go insane like Zaryn." Her voice cracked at the end, realising what she just said..  that she had let it slip.

I paled. Grace was locked away? But..

"Z-Zaryn? What do you mean? Insane?" My voice lilted.

Sighing, "im sorry Nova.. i didnt mean to say that. I know we agreed no Zaryn news unless you asked.. but.. well his wolf had become stronger.. his skin side weaker. Someone is here from another pack helping him..  but i think its making him worse. He's too strong now. On both sides. But his wolf doesnt take over anymore which is good.. im just really worried... he isn't the same Nova... I dont know if you'd even recognize him anymore.." she informed me, sadly.

My heart was ready to thump out of my chest. My wolf was snarling at me.. telling me to go.. to check on our mate.

But i couldn't.

"How are you doing Nova? Hows the training going?" She attempted to change the subject, knowing my silence meant my mind was doing 90 to nothing

Letting out a shaky breath, "Good. Its good. I won my first fight today. Got a tattoo. Hey Eden.. can i call you back tomorrow? I just.. i need to think."

There was a pause.. "yeah sure. Call me tomorrow.. i want to hear about this tattoo. I love you."

A breath of a laugh escaped me. Of course she woh"Love you too. Bye."

"Bye."

Clicking my phone off, i sat there on my bed.. staring wide eyed at the wall. Zaryn was suffering that much? Its only been a few months.. could he really be that bad? More agressive im sure..

But so much i wouldnt notice him?

He wouldn't have recognized me either..

My door was being pushed further open, the squeak from the hinges and a familiar scent, alerting me to Conrad's presence.

I turned to face him.. his worried eyes finding my own. He rushed over to me, sitting on the bed. "Whats going on? Whats wrong?"

Swallowing hard, I couldn't even feel the pain from the tattoo anymore.  Now my mind was in pain. I told him word for word exactly what Eden had told me.. the worry in his eyes only increasing once i got to the part about Grace.

"He did what!?" He stood, his voice bellowing.. anger radiating from his pores, thick like mist.. spiraling inside my bedroom. He began pacing back and forth... his eyes dialated.. dangerous as they glowed.. his wolf peeking out.

"Conrad..." He paused as i moved toward him.. his fists clenched, ready to hit something.. or someone. Despite my own pain i was feeling.. I felt the urge to comfort him. Reaching him, i gently touched his arm. His eyes following my movements as i did.

"Calm down. We can talk about what to do..." i offered, pulling him toward my bed. He relented, flopping his heavy body down, sitting as he held his head in his hands.. muscles tense.

"I cant let her endure that.. no matter how badly i screwed things up with her.. i can't let her much less any wolf go through that.. trapping their wolf inside of a cabin like that? One more month of it? Its already been two! She will lose her mind if she hasnt already! . her wolf will absorb her skin's strength.. or either it will become weak. I cant let that happen to her." He whispered.

I placed my hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing the coiled muscles under his shirt. "Do what you need to do Conrad. If you need to go get her.. then go get her. Blake cant refuse you if you come to take her, restaking your claim on her as your daughter... if thats what you want to do." I spoke softly.

His head lifted, eyes glassy as they peered back at me.."You wouldn't be mad?"

A felt a small smile appear on my lips as i shook my head. "Not at all. What happened is in the past. And that's where it will stay. I can't move forward if I can't forgive and forget. Besides. This is your pack. Youre the Alpha."

He turned to face me, staring at me so deeply.. enchanted almost. "You're so much like her.." he whispered, a deep pain laced in his voice. "Only you're so much stronger.. so much." His frown appeared.

Cocking my head, i frowned. "Who? Cilla?"

Pursing his lips, he nodded solemnly.  "I failed her. I did the most awful things to her.. she was weak according to Maximus.. and i let him coerce me into forcing her to train since I wouldn't reject her. And... and i couldnt mark her until Maximus saw her fit enough to mark." He stood from the bed, standing .. looking down at me with so much torture in his eyes. I couldn't help but to stand as well.. i felt too small beneath his gaze.. i was drawn to comfort him. My friend.

"I never wanted to sleep around with other females but i did. I did because I was told to. Told it would make her stronger but my goddess it hurt me .. i ruined her... because i listened to someone else. Because i did what someone else wanted me to do instead of doing what i wanted to do and she cheated on me because of it. She died because of it. And i can blame maximus all i want but I could have been stronger.. i could have said Fùck the title and did what i wanted!" His voice pained, strained and full of sorrow before his features softened, gazing down at me. . "and you.. you're so soft and calm like her.. you see the good.. you are able to think things through.. you're... you're amazing." He breathed.

I came closer to him, my eyes staring up at him with compassion. His stare held me like a barrier.. his hands reaching toward me.. gripping around my waist as he pulled me into him. I was startled at first because he has always stiffened whenever I've hugged him.

He engulfed me into his large arms.. his skin hot through the material of his shirt.

Inhaling his comforting scent, i relaxed.. my head dropping to his chest as my arms made an attempt to go around him.

He was as large as a tree compared to me.

He needed someone right now. As much as i reminded him of his late mate.. it only made him more comfortable around me.

Hands resting on my back, rubbing slowly.. his face dipping into the crook of my neck.. inhaling.

I was suddenly uncomfortable.. why would he be sniffing me like this? Like mates do?

His face pulled away and the eyes that looked down upon me were filled with unshed tears, glassy. My hand reached up, cupping his jaw and he did the same. I was pulled into his attraction in this moment. Pulled into his world as he gazed at me with...a fondness. A like. A want. A need.

Before i could register, he was leaning down as my face was being pulled up to his..

Lips connected to mine. So soft..so sweet.  My eyes fluttered closed as I leaned up, letting his surprisingly gentle lips kiss me, his hand caressing my jaw line as his other hand pressed against my lower back.. pushing me into his chest.

My wolf snarled inside my head, ripping me away from the thoughts i had allowed myself to fall into, forgetting the present.

Thats when i broke away with a gasp, my eyes widened as i peered up at him, mouth hanging open.

He closed his eyes tight, "im.. im sorry .. i didnt mean to-"

"Its alright.  We were both caught up in the moment. Its fine. Lets just.. " i cleared my throat, "lets just forget about this. Im a mated female." I made my attempt to diffuse the uncomfortable feelings that now set between us.

He looked ashamed of himself.. his eyes not meeting mine. "Im so sorry. The memories just.. had me thinking."

A strangled laugh came out of me, "its okay . Really. Lets just.. you go get your daughter Conrad.  Go save her. Shes in a cabin near the border.. a mile away from pack on the north side of the property. You wont even have to have help. The lock is silver. Bust her out. Bring help and tools." I told him as he regained his composure.

His seriousness was back, "Thank you Nova.  You're a great person. I want you to know that."

I hugged him for the last time, watching as he left from my room.. headed out to save Grace from her demise.. if it hadnt already happened.

My mind was going crazy with thoughts.. my wolf extremely unhappy with me. I cant believe i just kissed him. I cant believe he kissed me back. It was a sweet kiss.  No passion. No tongue. But still a kiss.

What was i thinking?

Lying on my bed in a heap... i was in a whirlwind.  Flipping the bedside lamp off, i could hear the trucks revving up outside before driving away.

I was so stupid... so stupid for that. Now theres going to be tension.

I began to think about the words he spoke before he kissed me...about his cowardice. How he thought it was always Maximus' fault for how he treated Cilla but realised it was his own because he didnt stand up to him..

He did the same thing to blake when it came to Grace .. and blake did the same to Zaryn.. and Anita did the same to Grace.

Zaryn, Grace, and Blake were all told to do something to get something they wanted.. or to get out of something... and they did. Conrad did the same thing to Blake and Zaryn that Maximus did to him..

It was a vicious cycle.

One that was done to him..

Blake. Now he was doing the same to Nic, forcing him to reject his mate.

Something that Blake had always felt so passionately about.. being with your mate. Now he was beginning to sound like Maximus.

Everything was scattering.. everyone was going against the moon and they will all pay.

My fingers touched my lips, the black eyes and busted bruised face long forgotten. My tattoo long forgotten.

I kissed him.

He kissed me but i kissed him back.

Im a cheater, even if im not with my mate. Shame washed over me as i pulled the covers up over my body and to my chin.

I needed to fix this. To let him know that it couldn't happen again.

Dun dun dun!

What do you think!?

She won her first fight!!

She kissed Conrad!! Ahh!!

She got the warrior tattoo!!

And omg conrad is going to bust Grace out. Wtf.

Nova feels guilty but she shouldnt linger on it..

And its funny how maximus did those things to Conrad and it became a pattern.. every person he did it to as well, did it to someone else.. making them do something to go against the moon..

What do you think ab what Eden said? Its been 2 mos since Zaryn has been training.. she said hes unrecognizable now! And feirce.

But so is Nova!

Tell me what you think will happen.. your observations.

Until next time

Xoxo

Chilee