53. Strong

Chapter Soundtrack:

David Guetta & Sia - Titanium

Thank you RosieToovey for the song choice! I enjoyed anna kendricks version best but this ch needed to be upbeat a little!

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Hey!

SHATTER IS #7 TODAY!

So this is probably my first non-action non-plot twist chapter in a while lol. This is just a chap to show you whats going on in Nova's world with Conrad. The action will come dont worry. Next chap. Hang tight. Next chap is Zaryn's pov.

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Two weeks later

(since the "Unsteady" chapter)

Conrad

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The sky was ultra blue today.. that blue where there's no clouds in sight.. sun shining bright. Autumn was here now.. the trees nearly barren, their roots littered with multicoloured dried leaves.

The breeze blew past me.. cool weather now, but comfortable. Not cold.. just right.  Perfect day for training my new warrior wolf..

Although calling her a warrior was a little premature.. she was still training.

I kept my promise to her.. everyday i made sure her muscles burned so hard that she couldn't possibly find the urge to cry or feel emotional.

Crying is a sign of weakness.

She isn't weak. Shes strong. Like titanium.  She's been shot down so many times and shes still wanting to fight.  That's strong in my book.

My eyes couldn't help but to watch her as she forced herself to run.. in human form.. through the obstacle course i made for her the day we began training. Her body was beginning to show the efforts of the strenuous efforts i put her through..

Her legs were building muscles that had only been used to walking or sprinting in short bursts..calves hardened.. strong thighs. her arms, more defined as the muscles increased. Toned. Not bulky. Her workout shirt would roll upward every now and then revealing toned flat muscles there as well..

She was eye catching..

But we still had a long way to go.

She was climbing up a rope without knots to hold her up.. just learning how to hold the rope between her soles and use her arms to pull herself to the top.. sweat trickled down her forehead as she concentrated hard..

I was proud of her. I dont know what came over me two weeks ago when i brought her here.. the way she cried, wallowing in her own misery.. that wasnt the female i had heard so much about. I expected a beastly she wolf when i arrived. Not a curvy soft delicate thing. But her strength lies inside of her.. not on the outside.

When she came here her mind was a broken mess. Her soul fractured from the traumatic emotional stress she had endured.. Something snapped inside me when she plummeted to the ground, crying, punching the cement so hard her knuckles were skinned and soaked in blood..

It reminded me of how i felt when i lost Cilla. How Cilla felt when she thought she had no hope with me..

Traumatised.

But i was able to overcome it eventhough i still carry the memories with me everyday.

Physical Pain.

That was the only thing that got me through.

Training. Fighting.  Adrenaline rushes.. the things that made me stronger on the outside subsequently made me stronger on the inside.. so i knew at that moment that it was what she needed.

She needed someone to force her to feel something other than that dark sorrow i knew so well.

Her wolf had come to recognize me and mine as her Alpha.. Blake was a thing of the past in her eyes.. in both their eyes. They couldn't see him as Alpha. I saw something more in her.. something more than just another pack member to teach and train..

I could see her as mine. But she belongs to another.

"Alright Nova, take a break!" I called out to her as she was pulling herself over the last wall. I admit when we first started i thought she might be hopeless but her failure only spurred her on to do better.. to train harder.. to become the beast she wanted to be.

She hopped down, knees bending to take the impact as her soles touched the ground. Popping up gracefully, she walked over to me with a sly smirk, her swagger had increased since she had began her training but I didnt want her head to get too big.

"Nova next time, I want you to focus on your jumps.. when you leap from one beam to the next... watch your footing.. be more sure footed. You nearly stumbled on that last one." She grabbed her water bottle, that smirk disappearing.

"What" i shrugged. "Its true! Doesnt mean you didnt do a good job. Look how far you've come." I chuckled at how easily i could ruffle her fur. Its important to give praise as well as constructive criticism. A warrior who thinks they are good is not a liability.  A warrior who knows they are good is. She should never feel arrogant in her work.. never too cocky. That can get you killed. Though i doubt she would ever fight on my frontline. I still wanted to train her to be a warrior. Her own warrior.. battling her own enemies. Her own demons.

She shot me a glare as she tried to catch her breath, collapsing on the chair beside me. Her scent, even through the sweat she produced, was still enticing. Honeysuckle and something else warm.. maybe vanilla?

"Conrad." She whined. "When do we start the fighting part? I cant do this everyday.. its killing me!"

Turning to her, i found my eyes roaming to her heaving chest before landing on her face, covered in sweat. That face that reminded me so much of my mate.

"You can't fight well until your body has developed the strength you need to pack a punch and the speed you need to move quickly to avoid other punches.. endurance. also your body needs to be lithe. You have become more graceful in your movements but i want you to be able to move like liquid.. remember what i told you about being able to fight in human form?" I rose a brow, trying to hide the smirk at how aggravated she became whenever I started giving her advice.

Her green eyes rolled upward, the hair around her neck, wet with sweat, curling into little spirals. "Yea yea yea.. that i should be able to fight as well in human form as I can in wolf form."

I let that smirk appear, "and why is this?"

She siged, wiping her forehead. "Because in a battle its sometimes easier to kill other wolves when your in human form because they cant carry weapons. Yeah i know Conrad." The tone in her voice seemed irritated but i didnt like how pissy she was today. I gave a warning rumble from my chest, my wolf voicing is disapproval.

She peered up at me, her head falling slighty. "Sorry." She whispered.  "I know you're trying to help me but.. i just feel... i dont know. Sad today." Her lips pursed.

Standing up at my full height i folded my arms and glanced down at her.. seeing a lost little pup.. not the fighter i know she can be. Something was up today. "Whats wrong Nova."

Green eyes peeked up at me before falling to her lap, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "Today would have been mine and Deacon's  friendship anniversary.. sixteen years. We became friends when we were one. I know it sounds corny but we celebrated it every year."

The sadness in her voice made me realise something. She hasnt gotten over the reliasation Deacon was a monster. She still had so many questions. I could get her to open up to me now without having to coax it out of her... but sometimes i could tell she was thinking about it..

I kneeled so i was eye level with her. "You still have questions about his mental state.."

She shrugged. "Yea. I mean.. i backtrack in my mind and i cant figure out when he started to change. He was always the same with me..."

I sighed heavily, remembering the wolf who raised me. Mad Maximus.. "He wouldn't have showed you that side. Its the wolf that is sick.. the skin side would have kept it from you. Even if you were with him in your wolf forms.. he wouldn't have acted on any impulses because though his wolf had crazed thoughts, he saw you as someone worthy.  And eventually that feeling would seep into his skin side.. thinking he loved you more. What he did to those girls.. could have been out of agression on his wolfs part, not being able to have you. What he did to his mate.. he probably did out of fear of losing you.. i dont understand the disease but i can see how the wolf would think.." i attempted my best shot at comforting her.

Shaking her head sadly, "i just wish i could have gotten some answers from him.. i wish everyone would have stopped keeping it a secret.. that i could have known so i could talk to him. Get closure. " she worried her lip.

As well as being her Alpha and her trainer.. keeping her so busy she didnt have time to think of overwhelming thoughts.. i also acted as her therpist sometimes. It wasnt healthy to never feel emotions and never talk about them.. so every now amd then I had to allow her to open up to me. To help her through the things on her mind... to help her heal.

"What about Zaryn? Do you feel anything about that subject today?" I was curious.

Those green eyes narrowed as she kept her gaze to the ground. "Thats a confusing subject. I dont know. He did so many hurtful things... but some good too. He killed Deacon to protect me.. but whose to say Deacon wouldn't have been better if he had come? But... he did do all those things.. to his mate.. to other females.. i could never look at him the same.. he should have had the death sentence already... i just. Im confused. He did me a favor i guess. But Zaryn still did a lot of other things.. blaming his wolf for how he couldn't stay away from Grace.."

I didnt want to do this but i needed to be honest with her.. eventhough it probably made Zaryn's case look a little better.

Shfting my weight, i let out an uncomfortable sigh.. "As an Alpha myself, I can tell you our wolves are stronger. Every alpha blood has a stronger wolf. But Zaryn doesn't seem to be able to have the power in his skin side to handle his wolf. I can tell you first hand that when an Alpha blooded male has a pup on the way, that male is crazy with hormones.. paternal hormones. When you told me how your wolf wanted to kill that pup, and that Zaryn could see the images.. im shocked he didnt try to dominate your wolf in a showdown. He is your mate.. your bonded.. so i know he would never have killed you.. but im just saying.. he never made a move to challenge your wolf. That's something.  But you did the right thing getting away from all of the drama in that pack. Blake doesnt know how to run a pack. He is too self absorbed with his needs and his families. Not the good of the pack." It pained me to talk about her mate because if im being honest.. im attracted to this female. Not just because she looks like my dead mate.. but because she's strong. Even for a juvenile. I feel like a cradle robber even thinking of her that way, still only seventeen.. but i can't help myself. Im nineteen years her senior but I could see her bearing my pup... my warrior Luna.

Nova groaned, getting up from her seat as she stretched her muscles... her slender stomach showing as her shirt rid up.. my eyes glued to the flesh there. "I dont want to think about this anymore.. its stirring up too much in my mind. Im marked and mated for life as it is. I know i cant take another but i just dont want to go back. The longer im here, the more my wolf looks at Zaryn and realises he is so much weaker than us. His wolf isnt...but he is. You're right about the skin side and it just turns me wayyy off. " she bent over, touching her toes to stretch out her legs, my gaze wandering to her ass. "Im just glad im far away. That i cant feel him. It makes things easier."

She rose back up, eyes staring up at me. "I want to put myself first for once and i want you to make me the strongest beta blooded female that ever was." A grin slowly pulled up at the corner of her mouth, revealing her teeth in a non threatening manner.

Returning her grin, i felt a sense of pride inside myself for her. "And that, i will.. Come on. Time for more training." I placed my hand on her lower back, guiding her with me as we moved toward the training camp where all my warriors were currently sparring.

Once we came into view of the males and females that were scattered in a circle, we watched as one pair in the ring scrapped with one another. No holding back.

Unlike Blakes pack.. i allow females to become warriors if they choose. His warriors are all male. They believe the females should be at home.. I dont. A female who cant protect herself is a weakness to her mate.

Nova perked up, peering at me in surprise.  Ignoring her questioning stare as to why we were here and not running laps or doing burpees, I just watched as my general critiqued every move the duo was making as they fought one another.. bare fists.. no gloves.

"What are we doing here?" I felt her eyes still on the side of my face and finally glanced at her.. a sly smile pulling at my mouth as I leaned down to whisper.

"Im going to let you fight today. See what you're made of.. since its a special day afterall." I winked. "You'll need the extra pain to help you through."

I could almost see her wolf yipping in excitement, her tail wagging as Nova's eyes widened, glancing back at the feircely fighting pair.

She took off, walking ahead of me, eager to witness the match sessions today. We didnt fight like boxers.. no.. wolves fought with bare knuckles in human form.. using everything they have learned. It wasn't something a beginner like Nova should experience but she really would need the extra pain. Getting the shīt beat out of her today would help her emotionally as well as make her want to train harder.. be better.

Anytime someone thinks they are good at what they do...

Show them someone who is better and they will work harder.

I watched as the males and females parted, letting Nova in the circle to watch the fight. My pack has accepted her as one of their own.. but she still has to prove herself. She has to fight for everything she wants.

My pack isnt like her old one.. we dont rely on our skin sides.. we let the wolf guide us. Its healthier. Blake's pack is filled with so much drama because they are more skin than wolf. Males there arent as agressive as mine are and the females arent as friendly. But somehow they all sense the power Nova carries in herself. Not just in her pedigree beta blood but in her entire being.

I was going to release that power.. make her feel it.

Walking up to my general near the arena, everyone stopped short as i made my presence known. Looking at me expectantly.

"Alright everyone." I bellowed, using my Alpha tone. "Today, Nova is going to spar with one of you.. she's never been trained to fight, so she is a novice. In training. Alexa. I want you in the ring with her." I called out to my seventeen year old female who was also a beginner..she had been training for three months though so she would be better than Nova. It would be a learning experience for the both of them.

Once Nova gets good.. out of training  and into intermediate... I'll start putting her with males to fight.  I believe a female should be able to fight a male.. they will have to on the feild in a real battle anyway. And the males need to get used to fighting a female.. not cowering, afraid to hit them just because they are women.

I don't condone violent behavior against my females but  in the training camp its different.  I expect it when it comes to a fight.

Watching Nova and Alexa asses each other, they both stepped into the circle, facing the other.. waiting for my general to blow his whistle.. Alexa made herself bigger.. more dominant.  While Nova had her eyes glued to every movement Alexa made.. her eyes watching.

I could feel power in the air stir and it surprised me..it was coming from Nova.

This would be interesting.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Nova

My body ached.

Bruises formed around my ribs, some kissing my cheek and jaw.. the cuts all over my face.. lip swollen, bleeding. Watching as it dripped down onto my shirt..

Pain. A different kind of pain. A welcoming pain.

I felt my pride slink away, scurrying to the depths of my mind. My wolf's ego was as beaten and bruised as my body. It was hard keeping her contained during the fight with Alexa and now i was understanding exactly what Conrad was teaching me this entire time.

I was just a novice.. thinking i could take on a warrior in the beginner division of his pack ranks... how naive  am i.

I know why he did it. Why he let me go toe to toe with that female half my size.. To prove i had a ways more to go until I could actually call myself a fighter... and because i knew he knew i was in pain today. Emotional. He knew i would need this distraction..

His promise to make sure my body hurt daily so my sould wouldn't... he made good on that. For two weeks i havent wallowed in self pity. I've been too busy healing.. busy creating strong muscles to surround my heart.. which he ensured me was still there and wasnt shattered into pieces, flying around in the atmosphere although that's what it felt like.

I've become addicted to the pain.. itching to feel it every time my heart hurts.. everytime my thoughts get stirred up.. thats when i need to feel the pain.

Steam rose from the hot epsoms salt bath, creating a haze inside the bathroom. I breathed it in through my nose.. sucking the steam inside my lungs as i stripped my blood and dirt stained clothes off my body. My left arm raising had me crying out in pain.

I think my rib is broken.

Fumbling, i sank into the water.. hissing as the open wounds spilled a little blood, tinging the water pink. To say it hurt was an understatement. I had to clench my jaw to keep from screaming.

Another thing Conrad was teaching me. Not letting onto how hurt you really were..

Say if i hurt my left foot in battle.. i would stand straight as possible.. not letting them see my weakness.. something they could use to their advantage. To not expell the pain but to take it inside of me.. to make it apart of me. Breath the pain in and blow it out.. concentrate.

His lessons were wise but I was still weak in my eyes.. getting there. But i had a long ways to go to become a warrior.

Alexa was a good fighter to be considered a beginner. We went on for a good fifteen minutes.. at first it was us squaring up, taking each other  in.. Then i waited, waited for her to make the first move. And she did.. coming at me with her fist. I ducked.. punching out into her stomach but she had me on my back in the next moment. From there it was a power struggle.. her on top.. me flipping her over my head and straddling her, throwing punches to her face.. her gaining momentum and flipping us back. Then we were standing again and i could feel my wolf begin to surface.  It was hard to shove her away... but i did.

Here they rely on their wolf but they also make sure they can control them when the time comes.

Alexa won needless to say but she didnt leave the trianing field without a busted lip, bruised ribs and a black eye. That, i was proud of.

Smiling to myself, i embraced the pain and sank deeper into the water.. my head resting on the back of the tub. Tasting the metallic taste of blood in my mouth had my stomach rolling. I hadnt eaten all day and my wolf was whining.. wanting her belly full. Whether it was in my form or hers.. she wanted to eat.

A knock my bathroom door had my eyes opening, forgetting my thoughts. "Conrad?" I could smell his scent from the other side.

"When you get out, come to my room. I want to give you something." His deep voice called through the door.

"Ok ill be done in twenty!"

Groaning once i heard my bedroom door shut,  i sunk down into the water and wet my hair, washing it with my honeysuckle shampoo.. people say thats what i smell like.. so i used only Honeysuckle scented toiletries for an added affect but i liked vanilla as well.

Once i had cleansed myself and removed the dirt and blood from my body, i slowly managed to climb out of thr tub. Plucking the stopper out of thr drain, i watched as the dirty water swirled away down into the abyss.

My body ached with every movement. Sharp pains as i rose my arms to dry myself with a fluffy towel. Giving up, realizing I couldnt bend over easily, I left my legs alone and blotted the moisture from my hair.

-----

Once i was decent, wearing a pair of black soffee shorts and a white tank top, my hair piled up in a damp messy bun on my head.. i padded across the hall and knocked on Conrad's door.

"Come in." I swear his voice gets deeper all the time.

Pushing the door open, i winced a little as I came inside his room. I noticed only his lamps were on now. He was doing work. He has an office just for pack business but when he didnt want to be disturbed... he would work in his room.

His eyes peered up from where he sat behind his mahogony desk on the oppsite side of the room. Looking me over as i closed the door, he got up from his seat. Eyes scanning my bruises on my face and body as he approached.

"You feeling okay?" His midnight eyes were looking for a lie.

Closing my eyes, letting out a huff of breath, "i think my rib is broken."

His forehead creased as he placed his rough hand under my jaw, tilting my face side to side.. checking out my new battle wounds. His eyes fell to my stomach and he motioned with his hand to roll my shirt up. "Lets see it."

"I'll be fine.."

A rumble came out of his chest, letting me know it wasnt a request. Rolling my eyes, i huffed, rolling my shirt up and tucking it under the band of my bra.

His eyes zoned in on the mass of bruises along both ribs and the center of my stomach... one set of ribs looking particularly more black and blue than the other. Conrad's frown seemed to deepen.

He took my small hand in his large one, tugging me along behind him. I frowned as he sat on the edge of his bed near the night stand where the lighting was best.

"Hold still." Hands on my waist guided me to stand in front of him. It was odd that when he sat, he was eye level with me. Lets you know how tall he really is.

I stood still, watching him purse his lips as his fingertips skimmed along my sides, paying attention to the area that hurt the worst.

"Ah!" I hissed, wincing amd cursing as he pressed in on my ribs. His eyes found mine.. darkening a bit.  I didnt know if I had upset him or not... but his wolf was peering at me.. and then he wasnt.

"Its fractured.  Not completely broken. Stay still." His jaw ticked, clenching as he leaned over, hand still on my waist as the other rummaged through the drawer of the nightstand, pulling out a taping kit.

I stared at him confused. "Um.. are you mad at me? Or something?"

Shaking his head, "no." His eyes met mine. "I shouldn't have let you go out there today. Its my fault. And she was my weakest warrior" a sarcastic breath of laughter escaped with another shake of his head.

"What? Ill be fine tomorrow.  Im a wolf. Ill be healed. Brand new once i wake up." I reasoned with him as he pulled the tape out, getting ready to place it on my ribs.

He didnt say a word as he applied the tape.. i tried my best to remain unphased but wound up throwing my head back. "Ahhh! Shìt Conrad!!"

I could feel him chuckle. Keeping my eyes closed, i waited until he was done, biting my lips as he smoothed the tape down. His hand seemed to linger on my skin.. a rough contrast against the softness of my flesh.

"All done." Clearing his throat, he removed his hands.. putting the tape away as i rolled my shirt back down.

"Youre not going to let me do it again are you..." i knew from the look in his eyes.

"Not until you're ready. It was just for today.." Those eyes peered at me knowingly.  He knew it was a hard day for me but thanks to his methods, i havent had time or energy to be sad.

"Thank you. " the corner of my mouth raised into a half smile as I moved to sit next to him on the bed... i peeked around..  roaming over his night stand.. seeing a picture of Grace.. recently. And one of...

Me?

My eyes widened in realisation as i made a move to grab the frame, leaning over him. "Is this her?"

The picture i held in my hands looked like me. Nose.. mouth.. jaw line and cheekbones. Only the eyes werent as large as mine.. and they were hazel. He hair... it was also lighter than mine. A dark blonde.

"Yeah. Thats her." His words were breathed out as a whisper.

Glancing at his wanderstruck expression and back at the photo i smiled.."she really does look a lot like me."

"No. You look like her." He mused.

Sighing, he plucked the frame from my hand and placed it back on the nightstand while I frowned at him.

"Another time." Was all he said.

Standing ever so gently, i was about to leave the room when he grabbed my hand, tugging at it for me to stay.  I glanced at him questionably. "What is it?"

Rising from his bed, tall legs walked his large form over to his desk, picking up a box with a smartphone on the front and walking back to me.. his footsteps making heavy creaks on the hardwood floor.

"This is for you.  You'll need one to communicate with the pack." He handed the box to me as my eyes grew big. Glancing from him to the box and back again..  a grin broke split on my face

"Are you serious?!" I felt like a kid getting candy. Id always wanted a nice phone like edens but my parents didnt see a need in it.

A chuckle vibrated his chest.  "Yes im serious. Its yours."

Grinning, i moved forward, hugging him with the least amount of pressure possible, remembering my ribs. He stiffened beneath my arms.. patting my back awkwardly for the second time ive given him a hug.

This guy...

"Thank you so much!" I squealed moving away.

I could see a smile lift the corners of his lips.. eyes twinkling in happiness.. proud of himself. His smiling eyes faultered once they landed on my bruised face, his hand coming up to brush my jaw with a look in his eyes i couldn't place.

He nodded..  "You did pretty good out there today. Eventhough you've had no training.. you were pretty decent. Better than i thought you'd be which is saying something."

A blush crept over my cheeks but my wolf was raising her ears.. her tail peacocked as she pranced around my mind from his praise.

Placing his hand on my lower back, he guided me to the door as i clutched the precious box to my chest.. "Im going to go down to dinner.  Everyone's waiting to eat and theyre getting antsy. I can have someone bring you a plate if you don't feel like coming down. " he rose a brow as we stood in the hall, waiting for my reply.

I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking. If i didn't show up, everyone would think i was in bad shape.. but if i did.. they'd see how bad i was. My face looked like it got hit by a truck.

I'll take my chances.

"Actually ill eat up here. Im really tired. Thanks Con con." I smirked.

He gave me the mose feircest look. "Dont ever call me that again."

My laughter filled the hall as he left in mock horror, disappearing down the corridor .. my legs moving to my room quickly before anyone noticed me.

Once safe in my room, i crawled on my soft plush bed, pushing my legs under the covers. My ribs smarted as i moved... my face twisting up in a grimace as i carefully picked up the box.. opening it with a finnesse and seeing the beautiful device inside.

My own fancy smart phone.

I noticed on the box it said galaxy s6. I remember Eden saying the galaxy phones were better than iphones even though i wouldn't know the difference. Something about android being the best system...

I should really call Eden and let her know my new number. I didnt even know it myself. Once i plugged the charger in and turned the phone on, i Dialed her number, holding my breath as it rang.

Its been weeks since i talked to her.. i wonder whats been going on at pack.

She answered on the fourth ring, out of breath. "Hello?"

A smile graced my lips. "Eden. Its me."

She squealed so loudly in my ear that i had to pull the phone away. "Nova! I have missed you so much!"

I laughed shaking my head. "Me too. This is my new number.. i got a phone today."

We talked for a moment .. then she told me she had something important to tell me and i prayed it wasnt about Zaryn.. thats the last thing i wanted to know.

Then she told me something else entirely.

That she was pregnant with my brothers pup.

What is going on with everyone being pregnant latelt?!

I zoned out after our call, just as my food came..i was shocked into a state i couldn't even believe that it was happening.

Eden, you're going to regret this..

Dun dun dun!!!

So did you notice how Conrad was all sentimental and touchy with Nova?

But most of all... did you love his pov? Her training and how he sees her?? We will have two more povs on each side before a time jump..

Do you think Nova will fall for conrad?

Or do you think she will stay true to her union with zaryn?

You realise if either of them mess with another wolf sexually, the other will feel it right!?

And no dont you say "but blake did.." his mate was dead and jack hadnt marked dahlia yet. Same wirh conrad and his mate lol.

Some of you had questions ab eden. If you reload the book (delete and re add) go to i think ch. Disgrace amd read..

Eden can have pups.. and not lose her gift. But she cant mark a mate. If she does.. she loses her gift.

Also we see Nova has become addicted to the adrenaline rushes and pain so she can't feel pain in her heart anymore. Conrad is sort of her dr Phil... military style!!

Be sure to check for my posts on my next update schedule! I have a dreaded yardsale to do this weekend since i never made it last weekend. Ugh. And dr appt tomorrow.  Ugh.

Xoxo

Chilee.