18. Brother, Oh Brother

AN: holy moly guacamole.. Shatter has climbed to number 63 on the hot list and it keeps moving!. Im floored. This was just for fun.. i mean i was wanting to write something epic and a page turner... but i NEVER expected to be put on the hot list thats insane!!! Thank you everyone for all your support and votes, reads, and comments!

Ps!!! I hope you are all picking up on the clues.... they lead you to something.. ;)

Xoxo

Chilee

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Nova

I stared at the blinds as the sun crept up, rising higher and higher with each passing hour as the light took over and the moon hid itself, tucked under the other side of the world.

Sleepless nights...

I've had them before but last night all i could do was think.. cry and think. Im beginning to think this will be my life for the next eight months.

My head throbbed as the light danced bright in my bedroom. I had no plans on getting out of bed today... other than to talk to Nic whom i heard creep inside around 2am. I was home by midnight.. he however, stayed out a little later than expected. I wondered what happened with him last night..

As the light beams moved to cascade over my eyes, i rolled over with a groan, putting a pillow over my head. The darkness made my head feel better. Sound and light weren't my friends.

Although i felt utterly exhausted, i had memories of last night that brought me comfort and a little excitement... as sad is it may seem, those memories will keep me going for a while. I know it sounds pathetic.. to pine over someone i am supposed to be able to have but cant.. but that someone wanted me too.. there were just obstacles in the way..

But like i promised myself.. im going to stay strong.. stay away from him.. and go on with my life. I need a life. Not a life that revolves around what Zaryn is doing...

The smell of bacon drifted up to my room, arrousing my senses and i poked my head out to see the clock.

8:06..

Too early...

Sighing, i gave up on going back to sleep and decided to go see what was cooking. Although i havent gained all my weight back from my "episode", i was eating much better now and able to keep it down. The memories that gave me butterflies sort of helped me in that department instead of hurt me... so far so good. Lets just see how it plays out.

"Hey mom." I saw her busying herself at the stove as i rounded the corner of the stairs. Her dark hair was tidy as always.. i dont know how she does it..

She turned, giving me an empathetic smile. "Hey baby. Are you okay? You didnt come home till late last night." She came over to me and brought me into her arms for a tight hug, cheek pressed against mine.

"Ill be okay mom. Just gotta take one day at a time, ya know?" I try to cheer her up so they dont worry for me even though im tearing up inside. She held me away from her, studying me suspicioisly.

"Nova. Have you not been sleeping? You look awful sweetheart. I mean that in the nicest way possible.. those dark circles and tired eyes are always going to be noticed by your mother. Talk to me baby.. what can i fix?" She looked helpless.. always wanting to fix our problems but this was one etchasketch that couldnt be shaken.

I shook my head, a tight smile on my lips. "Theres nothing you can do mom.. its just.. sometimes i wish Zaryn was never meant to be Alpha ya know? Then he would have never had to go away for the summer.. and none of this would be happening. If Deacon was born first, all of this could have been so much better for me.... and you are correct. I didnt sleep last night.. or much the night before.. or really hardly at all the past week.." i sighed, putting my head on her shoulder, letting her rub my back.

A sort of greif over came her.. a sadness i couldnt describe. "Im so sorry Nova.. im so so sorry." She whispered in my ear. I scrunched my face up a little with how desperately saddened she was for me.

"Its not your fault mom.. i was just delt a shitty hand of cards." My words were muffled in her shoulder.

She was quiet for a moment before she decided to speak. "Im going to fix this. I promise... just remember that i love you and you can always come to me because i will always be here." Her voice croaked at the end.

My mother.. Beta wife.. always thinking she can fix everything. Even my own mateship.

"I know mom." I kissed her cheek, smiling as i leaned away to snag a piece of bacon from the plates. "Where is dad at? Its saturday." Looking around, i didnt even see his newspaper lying around.

She frowned slightly as she flipped another round of bacon, the grease sizzling and popping, filling the air with its smoked goodness. "Your dad had to go talk to Blake about something..." her face still had that hardened look to it so i didn't push her on it.

I could hear rustling upstairs.. one thing about being a wolf is that you can hear everything.. we had an awful problem with that when Nic hit Puberty.

Since nic was awake, i decided its time to question him before i went insane. I was surprised he was up considering he came in at 2am and it was still early but.. the smell of bacon will wake this entire house up every time.

"Im gonna go check on Nic. Are you staying home today mom?" I felt something cold at my chest and touched it curiously before remembering the locket Zaryn gave me. I smiled to myself.

"Actually Nova.. i have to run some errands outside of the pack today. I'll be going to human territory so i wont be back for a little while. Ill leave breakfast out just put it away if there is any left" Her eyes never met mine. What could she have to do in the no mans land on a saturday?

"Ok mom. Love you."

Her eyes finally looked up.. seeing into me. "I love you too Nova. Just be patient. Everything will work out for you i promise. If not with Zaryn, then you will find your happiness elsewhere but i have a good feeling so hang in there okay? Tell your brother i love him very much. Ill talk to him one on one later." Her eyes were glassy.. she was so emotional lately over everything thats been happening.. smiling,, i nodded a yes before running upstairs.

I tapped on Nic's door softly. "Nic open up."

I could hear him sigh, rustle some sheets then stomp to the door, opening it with one bloodshot eye open an hair all over his head. "Morning. Bacon?"

"Uh. Yeeeeah its downstairs.. moms leaving for the day. Says she loves you and she wants to talk to you one on one later. Lemmie in." I rose my brows at him while crossing my arms over my chest. He heaved out a sigh, throwing his head back as he pushed the door open for me. He seemed to be getting bigger. Even though hes only been home for a few days, I could tell he has put on more weight.. of course he was huge when he got here. Working out and fighting for four months straight will do that to you.

"Thank you." I eyed him before walking in and making myself comfortable in his bed which smelled like whiskey and earth. My face scrunched up in disgust. "Oh my gosh Nicolas! Couldnt shower before you went to bed? What did you do? Pour whiskey in a dog bowl and get drunk while wolfed out all night? Because you know, canines dont handle alcohol well and i-"

"Nova your such a smartass." He gruffly replied as he got in the bed beside me and laid back down. I couldnt help the smirk on my face. Rolling my eyes, i huffed, rolling to sit up on my elbow. I was in a better mood than i have been in weeks .. i felt that honey moon stage even though there is no honey and no mooon... im just a lone wolf.

"Okay Nic.. so .. you got drunk.. then went drunk running? Or.."

Suddenly i was hit with a pillow.

"No you idiot, i got drunk after."

I scoffed. "Well youre just mean. But seriously.. talk to me Nic. I need to know what happened.. are you okay? What did she say to you?"

He rolled over, eyeing me hard. "You mean after you tried to rip her throat out?" He turned his back to me and my mouth fell open.

"Are you seriously getting onto me for that!? Nic!!! It was my wolf and why are you suggestively saying it like that? You are my brother and she is having my mates baby! Nic! Are you seriously in like with her?? She's foul!" my voice was loud but i wasnt yelling. Yet.

He sat up angrily, "I dont know what the hell to feel okay? But whether it was your wolf or not, you almost killed a pregnant woman. And you are a juvenile!" His green eyes held anger in them.

I looked at him incredulously. "You are joking right now right? Because at the meeting you were anti Grace and now..? Nic im your SISTER!!!! you said at the bonfire you would protect me and now you have gone to enemy territory? She wont be with you its too late Nic! Its too late for either of us!" This time i yelled at him, standing up on my knees.

He closed his eyes, inhaling.. trying to calm himself down but i felt betrayed. How could he even say something like that to me.. accuse me that way.. suggestively take her side. "You're right... im sorry." His head dropped, hanging low. Guilty.

I let out a breath, hand going to his hair. "Its okay" my voice stayed soft. "Can you just talk to me?"

His large body flopped backward, feet hanging over the end and turned to face me. "I helped take her to Doc's last night.. I waited there. The doc said she and the pup would be ok.. Zaryn showed up, asked me about the pup then left.. "

I felt myself pale. Zaryn lied to me....

"Then once she was bandaged up, which by the way.. you missed her artery by a few centimeters.. anyway.. i stuck around until everyone left since she was staying for the night so Doc could keep an eye on her. I came in her room and she wouldnt look at me but i could feel the reactions coming off her. Her wolf wanted a peek, i could feel it. She even got goosebumps where my eyes landed on her skin.. she wouldn't talk until i reminded her it was ordered and unless she wanted to defy the alpha that she better start talking. Thats when she looked at me.. i felt it Nova. I felt what you feel with Zaryn and now i know why it is so hard.." he paused, blinking down at his hands. I put my hand on his arm, rubbing it in understanding.

"I asked her if she had any interest in knowing who her mate was before this whole thing happened.. she said she never wanted one.. that he would have only gotten his heart broken anyway which is why she was glad she never met her mate.. and also why she freaked out when we found out we were mates.. she said we couldn't be together anyways even if she wasn't set to mate with Zaryn because im not an alpha born." His eyes were so sad...

But why would she say she is set to mate with Zaryn? She isnt. Its all temporary. He already refused her. And why would a shewolf not want to know who her mate is? Thats all we think about after a shift!

"So she told you that because you're not alpha born that you couldnt be together anyway??" My voice got high with the fact of how unbelievable this shewolf is.

He nodded solemnly. "I asked her what if I had been.. she said it made no difference. Her path was already chosen and that she was sorry..  i mentioned the fact that she would probably lose the pup and she seemed worried then. It was just out of curiosity that i asked her because why would i want a wolf like that.. but i had to ask what if she miscarried, would she wonder of me.. she said no, Nova. She said she would already be mated to Zaryn by then. And if not him, then another alpha because i wasnt for her. Her dad has only her and she has to bring an alpha to the table to mate and takeover the pack one day.. that its her responsibility. I just dont get it Nova..."

My mind was racing.. Grace was dead set on reeling in Zaryn before she miscarried if she miscarried. She wouldnt give my brother another look just because he isnt an alpha and she needed one for her pack.

The moon doesn't make mistakes.

Something was up and i was going to find out what it was. Somehow, i was going to alert Zaryn too and find out why he lied to me. The fact he lied to me about not checking on her broke me a little. Why lie about something like that? It wasnt even to check on her, but the pup.. which makes me upset but i do understand..

"Im so sorry Nic. She sounds even worse now..."

His eyes desperately locked onto mine. "I know she does Nova.. but the messed up part is that... i cant get her out of my mind! Its like im going insane! Shes pregnant with another males pup for crying out loud but all my wolf wants to do is just.. rip Zaryn to shreds and steal her! And thats not what I even want! Im so confused." He complained. I knew exactly what he was feeling.

"Look at me Nic. You are going to feel that way a while. Its going to eat away at you.. your wolf will drive you crazy even.. but do not let the wolf out. I mean it. It gets bad if you do. You are stronger than me. Hold it back. And i know it hurts to think about your only gift with another.. but you have to block it out."

He put his hands over his face.. nodding before resting back down on the bed, eyes trained on the ceiling. "How do you do it?" He asked.

I trusted my brother...

"To tell you the truth Nic.. i dont. But Zaryn doesnt want Grace.. he wants me. We spent some time together here and there and those happy memories are what i fall back on when i know i have to wait to see the outcome. Im not waiting for him though. Im going to live my life. If what he says is true... then if Grace miscarries... he said he will try to win me back as long as it takes him. Even if im with another. Thats how i do it Nic. I just reflect on things he has said... it keeps me from being miserable even if they arent going to happen." I took the locket out of my shirt and put it in his hand. He frowned, looking at me quizzically.

"Open it." I closed my eyes waiting.

After a moment, i heard the locket being snapped closed, my eyes opened. He looked pissed. "When did he give that to you?"

"Last night."

Pure outrage on his face. "You've been seeing him.. and while the pregnant wolf carrying his pup is in the hospital, he's off galavanting with you!?"

Rolling my eyes, i let out a huff. "Nic stop. We happened to be at the same place at the same time. It wasnt planned. But i have only talked with him a few times. Thats it. Nothing more." Nothing more that my older, larger brother needs to know anyways.

He nodded with his jaw clenched.

"Nic.. go talk to Blake. Please. You two need to call Grace's  dad .. tell him about you being her mate.. and you need to figure out why she is mated to you. Something in her story isnt plausible." I pleaded with him to understand. A sudden change in his eyes had a sly smirk sliding up his mouth. He looked at me with appreciation.

"Acrually little sister, thats a great idea. That will rustle her up a little bit.. maybe ill dig a bone up on the situation.. " sooner than i could say anything, he was out of bed and running to the bathroom.

The shower turned on instantly so i trudged back to my room and waited till he was done so i could take mine in my bathroom. Two showers at the same time was hell on the hot water. But at least he wasn't sad anymore ... for now. He was a man on a mission..

And i had uncovered some good stuff too.

Now i just need to get them adressed.. by the one person im not even allowed to see.

Zaryn.

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So.. ive been spoiling you guys with 4000 to 5000 word chapters but this time i had to go back to the shorter versions. Usually i only do 2500 a chaptet but this one is 3000. So.. be excited? Idk! Lol hope you like the interesting info!