14. Rules

I glanced in the mirror for the millionth time.

The moon was peeking through my openbedroom window, reflecting in the tall mirror as if to say she sees me. She sees me pain. My shame. My family's anguish and turmoil.

But she lets it happen.

My nausea had subsided for the time being, thankfully my mother gave me one of her little blue pills the packdoctor prescribes for her nerves.

We are all about herbal medicine, us being wolves. But sometimes in the rare cases like my mother, where her anxiety is crippling, we use the human medications. Tonight for which im thankful.

My mind and body felt at ease now. Its as if im just here. Not caring about anything more than the right now, and that happens to be my appearance for the dinner that i have worried over all afternoon.

I gazed at the simple red sundress i wore with my black mary Jane flats and decided i looked okay. We dont tend to dress up in this pack. Only for weddings or funerals or mating ceremonies. A simple sundress was plenty. I didnt feel like caring if i made an impression.. but i wanted to feel pretty tonight.

Maybe it was that pill..

I know it was that pill.

Pulling my wavy hair to the side, i decided i needed a swipe of khol on the top of my lids and a rose stain on my lips. Something different.

"Perfect" my voice came out a bit slow.

Everything felt slow.

A knock on my door jolted me out of my sluggish movements, sending adrenaline through my veins.

"Come in" i sing songed.

Nic poked his head in with furrowed brows.. normally id say he seemed confused.

"Uh. Nova are you alright? Whoa. You look really nice. Its just dinner. Whats with the dress?" His eyes inspected me head to toe, questionably.

Feeling carefree, i waltzed to the door, smiling ear to ear, feeling floaty. "Im great! But whats wrong with the dress? Too much? I just wanted to seem like im fine.. available and fine." I smirked

"Did mom give you one of her pills?" He eyed me accusingly.

I scoffed, feigning some emotion i couldnt really think of right now. "Of course ... she did! Haha!" I couldnt help but to laugh especially with his worried eyes scanning my face as if i would embarass myself tonight . Or him.

I was freaking him out.. time to take this down a notch and be serious. Just because my very existence has been shattered doesn't mean i can forget about it all completely. I took Nic's hand, studying his forrest green eyes with my own serious blue ones.

"Hey nic. Ill be fine. Seriously... i needed this. Ive been throwing up all evening with worry about tonight. And.. i just wanted to look pretty for a change instead of skinny, gaunt, and pale. Is that alright? Besides we have been cast to the other side of the table anyway." I could detect the underlying contempt in my words as could he.

Nic nodded in understanding and pushed the door open so i could see that he was wearing dark denims and a black button up with rolled up sleeves, a grin spread on his handsome face.

"Good. Because i wanted to look nice too and now im glad im not the only one. Its laundry day. Thats my excuse." He chuckled. His laughter was contagious as he brought me into his arms, squeezing tightly.

"Oh little sister. We will be okay. I promise." My eyes caught the moon shining through the window. It seemed as if she were winking at me .. maybe everything would be ok.

Nic gave me a quick peck to my cheek before taking my hand, pulling me with him out the door and down the stairs.

***

We met mom and dad at the pack dining hall. Since dad is a Beta, he is pretty much always with Alpha Blake and mom always goes early to help in the kitchen.

"Oh my gosh. We have name card placements?" I whispered to Nic in horror. They were taking this 'separation' thing seriously.

"Apparently everyone does" he whispered back.

I glanced around the large room, seeing only the head table, where we would sit, had placemt cards. It seems that our situation has caused a pack upheaval in hierarchy... because only higher status wolves sat at the head table and that included my family and i.

We had entered before most of the pack with the exception of Alpha Blake and his family which included Deacon and Zaryn.. and what do you know. The woman that stole my life right out from under me was sat right across from Z. At least she wasnt next to him.

His eyes met mine and widened when noticed my appearance. A hunger in those eyes making my skin tingle and that low current of electricity that always happens whenever his eyes fell on my flesh.. i shivered at the sheer pleasure his stare brought with it.

Shaking myself out of the trance, I shifted my gaze to Deacon who had a hardened his eyes on me as he slid back from the table, scraping the chair legs against the floor and whispered to his dad. Alpha Blake noded his head and Deacon made his way to the end where Nic and I sat side by side, myself on the very end.

He isnt supposed to be near me!

He must have asked his dad for permission just now... but from the look on Zaryn's face, he wasnt too happy.

I watched Deacon without a care as he sat by me at the very end, scooting close so he could whisper. I could smell a bit of cologne coming from his skin.. he never wears that stuff. We have sensitive noses.

"Nova. Where the hell have you been? Why did i have to find out from your dad that you moved back home?" His glare penetrated me and his angry whispers suggested at how hurt he was that i had abandoned him, but in the state i was in at the moment, it did nothing to my nerves. I hadnt been a good friend to Deacon and i felt bad about that but i have my own things going on. Everyone seems to forget that when they want something from me.

I sighed. "D.. its been hard living there. You arent even supposed to be seen with me. Its hard sneaking around.. covering our scents. I just wanted to be home with Nic. Im sorry. We are both having a tough time right now.. im sorry i didnt tell you first but. I just decided before i went to sleep last night that i was going to move out this morning and that was that." I tried to explain.

He studied me as if noticing my appearance just now. His eyes turned soft and a small smile appeared. "I understand Nova but.. im still your best friend. And it may be hard.. sneaking off with me and hiding your scent.. but its harder when you are doing it with two wolves rather than one." He gave me a sad knowing stare before getting up and trudging back to his seat with his hands shoved in his pockets.

I sat there, staring at the place he was sitting, now empty. My lips parted slightly with my pulse quickening.

He knows I've been meeting with Zaryn...

He knows.

My skin pickled with that electric sensation of Zaryn staring at our exchange.. staring at me. I wanted to hide somewhere. Preferably in my room.

I knew D would be angry because he doesnt want me to humiliate myself that way.. meeting up with Zaryn.. but he just doesnt understand the pull! He hasnt found his mate!

Nic and i sat quietly as the rest of the pack filled inside the room, filling up 6 long tables that seats 20 wolves. 120 pack members. Not a lot but enough for everyone to know your business. Juveniles were at home tonight watching their siblings. With them counted in, our pack number was around 150.

Alpha Blake stood at the head once everyone had filled the tables. "Alright im sure all of you are wondering why ive called a mandatory meeting tonight for dinner."

A lot of nods and "yes sir" filled the room as i gulped down the ice cold water in my cup, praying this has nothing to do with me.

"Well." He continued and i felt the need to clutch Nic's hand once his eyes fell on me for a breif moment before darting around the room.

"It seems as most of you know that Nic and Grace are mates. As well as Nova and Zaryn are. Its a shame how all of this has happened but i called this meeting to tell all of you that its none of your concern. Many of you have asked questions and as this is mate business and not pack business, i want silence on the matter. None of you are to gossip about the delicate situation that is going on here. Not to other wolves here and not to any wolves from other packs. Is that clear? Anyone who doesnt follow my direct command will be punished." Im floored once he ends his speech and embarassment wants to creep out but the magic blue pill in my system wont let it.

Everyone replied with a "yes sir" "yes Alpha" etc. I just wanted to disappear in this moment. Cloak myself so eyes werent attempting to penetrate past my soul..

I heard a chair scrape backward, all of our eyes snapping to one of the tables across the room as an adult male stood with confidence. "But Alpha it is our business because Zaryn is to be our future Alpha. He has made a mistake and we cant risk our pack being branded as a moon shattering pack if he mates with a female other than his chosen mate!" The male shouted, pounding his fist on the table .

I was smiling inside at his words. My own pack knew the sacrifice Alpha Blake was making and we would be judged by not only other packs, but by the moon herself.

"I agree!" Another wolf stood followed by many many more. I swelled inside seeing all the wolves who had my back. Or... the packs back at least. I was the destined future Luna. I was supposed to be their leader one day.

Alpha Blake looked taken aback. "Alright settle down. Theres no promise on what is to happen yet. We dont know if Grace will carry until full term. We all have to wait and see." I felt anger spike through me as my hand clutched Nic's more firmly.

My father was the one who stood next. "You mean my daughter has to sit around and watch, waiting in the wings to see if her mate will be available?" His words were anger and outrage wrapped into one.

Thank you, dad.

Females began chattering their outrage as well at the wrong thats been done to me, expecting me to wait in the wings was a horror for a female who had found their mate to contemplate.

Father continued. "My daughter may be.. unavailable by the time that day comes. She is a free wolf if he has someone else." His glare at Alpha Blake didnt budge. Challenging him to agree or disagree. Many wolves were shouting "yeah!" With the upheaval my dad has now caused. I ship that upheaval. Alpha Blake.. the man that has raised us to know him as a second father.. an uncle.. is throwing his second family under the bus. Zaryn's familiar growl could be heard over the chatter. I rolled my eyes at that..

Alpha Blake seemed to be sweating but anger flashed in his eyes at my dads challenging words. He pounded his fist on the table as i did nothing but watch. "Enough!!!!" His voice held every bit of alpha as he spoke. The entire room quieted instantly. He may be in the wrong while attempting to be right but, in Grace's family's eyes who is to say he isnt doing the right thing. Who knows what the right thing is..

"Nova knows her choices. She doesnt have to wait but this is between she and Zaryn. They have spoken about it to my knowlege and if she doesnt wait then she just doesn't. But know that we will do everything we can to benefit the pack." The room was still.

A lesser wolf stood, couldn't have been older than 25. "If that pup is born and he mates that... that thing." He pointed at Grace with disgust. "Then just know, Alpha Blake. When time comes, he will be challenged by most of us. We cant have a leader like that." He spat, sitting back down before Alpha Blake could speak.

Alpha sighed, irritation coming off him in waves and... a slight panic if im scenting him right. "Everything will work out. We will cross that bridge when we get to it." There was no room for argument. My eyes found Zaryn who just stared wide eyed at his plate, his lips pursed, hands in fists. Grace seemed as if she wanted to crawl under the table, like i felt moments earlier.

"One more thing." Alpha Blake looked around at all of us. "Grace's father has insisted their healer be sent to stay here for the duration of Grace's pregnancy. The healer is also her aunt and she will arrive in two days so i want everyone to treat her with kindness or you will answer to me. That is all." He sat down in his seat as i took all of this in. Why would a healer be sent unless...

Her father wants to make sure she doesn't lose this baby....

Oh my moon....

Alpha, Alpha, Alpha. You dont know how this is going to destroy your pack. The other wolves eyed Alpha Blake.. a snarl here and there. Alpha met them all, a low growl that shook the tabe.

End of discussion.

×××××××

Dinner was served afterwards. Nic and I ate quietly, keeping our eyes on our plates. I felt tingles here and there as Zaryn's eyes scathed over my flesh. It was such a pleasant feeling but my mind was reeling with the pre dinner discussion.. a war would break over Zaryn putting his dick where it didn't belong. This was why we had rules of engagements.

The moment dinner was over, Beta John called everyone outside to the bonfire and it was time for our little family meeting upstairs. Just my mom, dad, Nic, Zaryn, Deacon, Grace, and the Luna and Alpha.

I could only fathom what they had to say to us..

My heart accelerated as i climbed the stairs but i felt that burst of electricity telling me Zaryn was right behind me. So close. I could almost reach out and wrap myself in his body heat if i wanted to. The medicine was wearing off and i was feeling nervous again.. only much more mildly than usual.

Once we found our way into Alpha"s office, we all sat down around the large round table he kept for meetings in the adjacent room. Photos of our family and his hung on the walls.. the broken pieces of my heart wanted to burst out and break the glass of every one of those because Alpha Blake cared more about his supposed possibility of losing pack lands to Grace's father than us and the pack itself.

Nic sat beside me once more, with mom to my left and dad on her left. The Moon's, Alpha, Luna, Zaryn and Deacon sat around the other end along with Grace..... and her evil alpha spawn inside her.

My wolf seems to be making appearances in my narrative now...

Alpha Blake sat a phone in the middle of the desk before taking his seat once more. I noticed Deacon and Zaryn had been glaring at each other all night long.. Grace avoided eye contact with Nic as he gripped his chair staring at her.. or trying not to stare at her.. there was tension between dad and Alpha Blake.. and Zaryn cant take his eyes off me. It makes those shattered parts of my heart vibrate with an intensity. The tension was so thick in the room.

"Okay. I know we need to address the elephant in the room now. It seems all of you have concerns and i wamt to be able to work through them all." Alpha Blake begins. "So who would like to start first?"

We all glance around the table. I wasnt going to say a thing. I had my feelings hurt enough for the night and unless everyone wanted to deal with my wolf, then i just needed to stay silent. Suddenly Deacon sat up straight and devided to be the first to speak.

My stomach coiled within itself as i noticed his posture.

"I will." He seemed so confidant. "I want the ban removed from my and Novas friendship. Its ridiculous that i cant see my best friend because this.. this.. unworthy female comes prancing on our territory claiming she got knocked up by Zaryn and it "upsets" his wolf. We are all upset! But taking away from Nova is a bad move dad. You are hurting her. Punish Zaryn. Not her or i." His hard glare at his father sent excitment through me. And through my wolf. He is fighting for my honor.

"I agree" Nic supplied.

"As do i" my dad interjected.

Mom and Luna nod their heads.

Sighing heavily, Alpha Blake took out a piece of paper. "Very well. Nova, you and Deacon may be friends and continue on as you were."

A low growl sounded, shaking the table. My eyes snapped up to the source to see Zaryn looking beyond pissed. He eyed his brother before shifting his gaze to me. Before he could say anything, Blake beat him to it.

"Zaryn. You will stay away from your brother for now. And if you know whats good for you, away from Nova as well. I know this isnt what everyone wants, but Zaryn you decided to make that mistake and im trying to do the right thing now. You all have to understand that Grace is an alphas only daughter. Im trying to see it this way.. if i had a daughter.. Zaryn its your pup so you have to do the right thing. She needs an alpha mate to succeed her father. I understand its causing problems for our own pack heriarchy but the right thing is the right thing. I dont think the moon will let this pup be born if im being honest but we have to play the feild like we should."

My jaw dropped as did Zaryn's. Alpha didnt demand us not to be around each other, but he suggested it. He also made his beliefs known about Grace's pup. Her face was as white as a ghost.. eyes wide and blurred.

"Grace, here..." Alpha Blake continued, seeming annoyed to the third degree. "has called her father, Alpha Conrad of the North, behind my back and against my judgement, to let him know that she overheard you, Zaryn, say you will refuse to mark her.. and that if the pup is born, you will co-parent until he is ten in which he and Grace will return to the north to begin his training, spending summers with you and leaving the option open for Nova."

My mouth fell open once more and many sets of eyes turned to Grace, scowling. Low growls from my wolf along with Zaryn's filled the room which had Grace shrinking, hands going over her flat belly out of instinct.

"Enough you two!" Alpha barked, showing teeth. I sank back in my chair, deciding its best to let him continue. I can react after i know everything there is to know.

"Alpha Conrad has called me to let me know that if Zaryn doesn't mark Grace after the baby is born, that he will seek retribution. He doesn't want just unmated females, he wants pack land. 100 plows. That is 1/3 of what we now have. We cant afford to lose both land and females and im sorry but she brought this amongst us and i cant do anything. My hands are tied on this. If i go against it, the pack loses everything. And if i don't, then Zaryn may be challenged when he succeeds me ... its all one huge fucking mess . Do you think i want to deal with this?

but Zaryn, Nova.. the other demand is that you two must stay away from each other aside from pack functions. Any reported incidents to me will be punishable by the pole and im sorry but.. your wolves will come out around each other and we could have another pregancy on our hands .. or a mating mark, which would only complicate things." He looked down at the table as my eyes bulged out of my head at the way he just brushed everything off.

I wouldnt let myself be with Zaryn.. but being around him.. it makes me feel at peace. Those shards of my broken heart dont seem to lodge into my organs trying to get out. Instead, they move... trying to go back to the place they belong.

This couldnt be happening to me... to stay away from him??

That would only allow their bond to grow.

He might not even want me anymore then.. im not saying i want him now anyways but without her.. there was always a possibility. Mates are a gift from the moon.

The wolf inside me.. she was angry.. incredibly angry. She wanted out. She wanted revenge. She wanted to take out the competition with her powerful jaws.

I felt my eyes shift first. She was seeing out of my eyes.

My shattered shards of the heart i once had lodged deep, i took in lung fulls of air, feeling like glass was crunching in my lungs.

I couldn't breathe. The sorrow was indescribable. I felt as if my own life were being threatened.. as if i were dying. My wolf whined through my own mouth at my feelings. But her feelings were something more.

I felt myself choke on my own mate bond, eyes wide with my wolf's eyes while I was seeing stars, the room around me becoming hazy before darkness met me, overcoming my vision making it impossible to see. All i could hear was the faint shouting of angry wolves in the background while I dove into the dark abyss head first.