18.

DHARA

✨

I kept playing with my fingers as I kept waiting for Parth in the car. He had asked me to sit in his car after the big announcement. Shankar Jiju's security guards helped me reach his car safely. He said he had to talk to his family and he would be here in a few minutes which is now almost an hour to do. Yet he was seen nowhere. I was nervous. I didn't know what exactly he wanted to talk about after what he announced to the media a few minutes ago.

Suddenly the door of the car opened and he sat on the driver's seat and put on his seat belt. I kept looking at him when he said 'Seatbelt!!!' and I nodded and put on the same. Thanks to Shankar Jiju's security folks we were in no time on the streets. He immediately took the car towards the Howrah Bridge highway. As usual Kolkata was at its best traffic possible and we were stuck in a jam. Neither he nor I spoke a word. I was nervous. I didn't know what to tell him. Was I not happy? I was. Parth is a good man. But will there be any future for the both of us. I don't know. At least there'll be friendship for sure. But is that enough?

'Dhara...I hope you understand it's not going to be easy!!!' he broke my reverie as I turned around to look at him. Our eyes met for a brief moment. His deep brown eyes shined with a hint of gold thanks to the high beam lights. I gulped and nodded. He took a deep breath saying 'I hope you understand that this isn't going to be like a normal marriage especially when you know I'm not the typical kinda groom you would want!!!'.

I don't know why I said 'And how did you decide that?' I asked him looking right in his eyes when his mouth almost opened and closed a couple of times and he broke our eye contact looking elsewhere saying 'You know everything about me Dhara. I have told you. I ....am not sure about my own...choices! What if I...I...can nev-' but before he completed that line I said 'Parth!!! I know everything about you and that's exactly the reason why I think I'm good with this decision' when he made a Tch sound and said in frustration 'You don't understand Dhara. This isn't a few days affair. It's a lifetime responsibility. Also I don't know if I could give you the kinda love and relationship which a wife deserves from a husband. What about kids? No!!! You are a young girl. Please think again. This isn't right' he said.

I smiled asking 'I told you Parth. Sex isn't the only way to have kids. There are other options. If you are healthy, we can even go for IUI or IVF. We can adopt too.' when he immediately shouted 'Dhara why don't you get it. What if I realise that I like men in future? What if I'm gay? Above all will you be ok to let go off something which is a essential need for humans? Are you really letting go off your own sexual needs? For what??? I'm not someone great that you'll take this risk Dhara? And why are you doing this?you'll find better men in future...think again. We can pretend being engaged and then announce a breakup' he said.

'I don't want to.' I said as I looked into his eyes when he looked into mine whispering 'Why?' and I smiled saying 'Cause I like you. I respect you. There is no way I'll find a green flag like you who can fight the world for me. If you ever discover you are straight and I have any hope with you, I'll be the happiest and if you ever discover you are gay...I promise I'll let you go!!!' I announced when he asked again 'But why Dhara? You'll find anyone' he said when I smiled saying 'Maybe...But then they won't be you Parth. You are a gem and if I ever have a chance with you, I'd like to take that bet' I announced shamelessly when his eyes widened in shock.

'But-' he tried to argue when I kept my palm on his mouth saying 'Some relationships are built on respect factor Parth. If two people are in love they may or may not be happy with each other. May or may not be standing by each other's side but if two people respect each other they'll forever be there for each other and who knows love may also blossom!!!' I said hopefully with a smile. He kept looking at me while loud honking of horns broke our eye contact as he started moving the car.

We were out of the traffic jam and were driving on silent yet moon lit streets. Rest of the drive was peaceful. He stopped at a small shop and purchased two cups of tea for both of us. We silently sipped the tea saying 'My family is very happy about the announcement. Daadu has already given his blessings. Your Daarji is also happy. I don't know about Thakuma. She could be a little rude and insensitive because she loves Oni a lot. Dad doesn't care much about me. And I'm tired of pleasing him. But rest assured you'll get all the respect and love in that home as my wife' he said and I smiled. His wife sounded nice.

And like discussed his family welcomed me with open arms. Surprisingly his grandmother also didn't create a scene although she held my hands saying 'Being the eldest daughter in law of the household comes with great responsibilities.' and although I smiled it didn't make any sense to me. Earlier too they told that I was their oldest daughter in law. Parth's marriage was an unexpected affair at home. His grandmother hesitantly blessed him. I didn't know why it felt distant even now. I was confused. Even Parth's father blessed us yet maintained a distinctly silent behaviour. It's like they still have issues with Parth. Now...with me too. Although I didn't care much. The rest of the family accepted me wholeheartedly.

As per Parth's request we decided to have a small wedding ceremony. Neither he nor I wanted to spend unnecessarily. My Daarji had just come home and we didn't want him to stress out unnecessarily. Arindam Uncle...ummm sorry... Arindam Daadu was very happy that his eldest grandson was finally getting married. Although a simple wedding ceremony was which we agreed upon, Arindam Daadu wanted a grand wedding reception for all their business associates for which both Parth and I agreed half heartedly.

✨

The wedding was a silent affair. It was a simple Bengali-Punjabi wedding ceremony attended only by close family members although mine was a big big family and eventually it wasn't such a small affair after all. I was decked as Bengali bride wrapped in yards of traditional Benaras Saree with authentic jewellery handpicked by Beena aunty...I mean...Maa. I loved calling her that. I never had one and now I was going to have a beautiful and a complete family. Although Beena Maa spoke very less she had grown to like me. I had also grown a found attachment towards her and Shobha Kaaki (aunt). Nivedita Didi, Taapsi and Mishka helped me be the Bengali bride I always wanted to be as I was getting married. This felt like a dream come true. Anika kept looking at me with teary eyes while Pooja was being the bumble bee trying to keep everyone happy and a constant supplier of tissue paper to Anika, Tillu and Daarji as they cried buckets seeing me as a bride.

I was made to sit on a stool called Pidi which was carried by Tillu and my other little brothers as I was brought into the wedding hall. Usually it's called by four brothers but as I had more than a three dozen full of brothers of which 18 of them had attended the wedding, they took turns as they carried me like a doll as they brought me into the Mandap. I covered my eyes with the beetle leaves in order to make sure I don't see Parth before the priest asked me to. This was the sacred ritual of Shubho Drishti. Loud blowing sound of conch shells and the priest said I could see my groom. I slowly looked beyond the beetle leaves to see Parth standing infront of me as my groom dressed in all white.

I had a bright smile. In no time we were asked to exchange garlands with the ritual of Joymala Bodol. I don't know why although this wedding was a compromise it didn't feel like one. This felt pious and real. I promised myself to fulfill and give every bit of myself into it. I would try my best for it to work. Rest I left it to my Lord Krishna. With the Samprodaan ceremony, Daarji offered my hand to Parth in Kanyadaan followed by the Saptapadi where we took seven steps holding each other's hands embarking our journey together promising to stand by each other's side for seven lifetimes.

I promise you Parth. I'll be by your side forever. Not just seven lifetimes. It's forever...

For the Kusumdinge ritual when Parth circled his arms around my waist as we offered the puffed rice into the holy pyre his hands almost touched my bare waist sending goosebumps everywhere. I was feeling hot and cold both at the same time. His hot breath fanning my ears as we were too close to each other made me feel differently for him. Wow!!! Am I attracted to him? Why did I feel that war when I had him so close to me. My throat dried up like I was dying out of thirst. I was sweating and yet I had goosebumps like I'm freezing.

As Parth filled my hair partition with red Sindoor, my eyes automatically filled with tears. I couldn't help but smile at the same time. This felt pure and just perfect. He made me wear a small yet chic Mangalsutra and yet another time when he tightened the hook of the Mangalsutra his fingers touched the nape of my neck making me almost moan yet I bit my lower lip to control sounds that craved to come out of my mouth but then I remembered Parth's words. He may never be able to give me what a wife wants from her husband.

My hand automatically grabbed the chic Mangalsutra as I closed my eyes praying to my Krishna as I whispered 'Let this be mine Krishna. I've never had anything completely as mine. Let this be mine forever. Let he be mine forever'

And with that we were tied to each other. Forever.

✨

'Take the blessings of Maa Durga and lighten the lamp Dhara' Sayantani Dida said and I did the same. This was my first ritual post wedding. After which she took me along with Beena Maa and Shobha Kaaki towards the main corridor of the house which had a lot of paintings yet some of them had a garland today. She said they were our ancestors. She asked me to take blessings from all of them. There were names engraved with dates under them as Beena Maa introduced me to each one of them. Some were his great great grand parents and some were of Arindam Uncle's brothers and their wives. Eventually I was brought in front of a picture who looked very young and also the dates read the year of death to be 1995. I looked at Beena Maa who asked me to lighten a lamp especially in front of that picture and take her blessing.

I nodded doing the same is when my eyes went on the name. Protima Sonjoy Chakroborty. My eyes widened and I looked at Beena Maa who had a very zen like expression on her face. She was calm and silent. That's when Sayantani Dida said 'Dont be so shocked. She is also your mother in law. Died during child birth. She is your husband's birth mother. Protima' and I was left speechless. That means Beena Maa isn't Parth's birth mother?

In no time Parth came towards us as he took blessings from Shobha Kaaki and Beena Maa when she slowly caressed his head lovingly. She truly loved him. She kissed his forehead saying 'Take her blessings too' and he nodded and folded his hands against his mother's picture. I had a smile on my face seeing Beena Maa's love for Parth. How lucky are some of them who have another mother when they've lost one and look at some like me who never saw my own. She threw me away like a rotten teeth and walked away from me. Guess only lucky people find mother's love. Parth was blessed to have two.

After the rituals Sayantani Dida asked me to lighten the lamp outside the house to the Tulsi plant as it was late in the evening. I offered some water and lightened the lamp infront of it. Post which she asked me to follow her as we went towards the backyard of the house. I could see pitch darkness followed by a small muddy lane that went towards a little wooden gate. There was an old Tulsi plant at the start of the lane. The Tulsi plant was almost dying there yet she asked me to lighten the lamp and keep it on the floor. I did the same. Weirdly the lamp never stayed even for a second. It was so windy that the lamp never sustained.

Somehow I managed to lighten the lamp and kept it inside the small old rusted lamp post when out of nowhere we heard a hissing sound only for Shobha Kaaki to scream loudly. I turned around to see there was huge king cobra next to the Tulsi plant. In an adverse reaction I immediately jumped back throwing away the lamp and the match box stepping back while the snake came slowly as it circled the old rusted lamp post as it stood up straight and tall making a loud hiss and I was ready to faint.

Sayantani Dida started shouting and calling for help. In no time the care takers and the gardener came there trying to take the snake along with them but all it did was hiss and tried to bite whoever approached. Everyone was scared. Sayantani Dida took us all along with us saying 'Let them handle it. We have a Pujo tomorrow morning. Let's go inside'.

While on our way I heard Shobha Kaaki say 'I told you na Didi...that place is cursed. We shouldn't have gone the-' but suddenly Sayantani Dida stopped and passed a sharp look at Kaaki making her freeze in fear. She shut her mouth and silently followed Dida.

What curse are they talking about? What is in there? The other day even Parth asked her not to go there. What is the matter? I was still in my thoughts when Dida said 'Dhara!!! I don't want you to step out of this house anywhere... alone... without anyone. Get it?'. I narrowed my eyes asking 'May I ask why Dida?' and she narrowed her eyebrows saying 'Because I said so!!!' she said with a serious face and I gulped. I didn't like her treating me like that. What wrong had I asked her?

'Dida... what's on the other end of this property. Behind those... little wooden doors?' I asked curiously when she didn't even turn around and said 'You are a new bride here Dhara. Learn our customs and traditions. Try to be the diamond to the crown of the Chakraborty empire. Don't try to be a headache to us. You are new here. Learn...adapt and eventually learn to Shutup!!!' she said as she turned around giving me a sharp look as she looked at Shobha Kaaki and she immediately nodded saying 'Come Dhara!!! Let's get you some rest. It's Kaal Raatri. You are staying with me tonight. Come' saying she took me with her.

While I had a hundred questions on my mind. What's behind those doors? Why is everything so wierd suddenly?

Something was different about this house. Something wasn't right about this place. ...

Or am I overthinking?