Chapter 3: Tears Behind The Mask

~Third Person P.O.V~

Damian pushed his door open, quickly entering his room before slamming it shut. Leaning against it, he closed his eyes as he breathed in deeply still trying to still his breath. He slowly opened his eyes as he exhaled, remembering he was finally alone, he was safe, he didn't need to wear the mask anymore.

Damian made his way over to his bed, collapsing in it he landed on his stomach, feeling completely exhausted but not from the training he and Jon had that day.

Turning over, he stared blankly at the ornate ceiling of his room. Trying to busy his mind as to not focus on certain.. thoughts and accusations. Normally he would train, breaking more than a few sparring bots in the processes but heading to the training platform in the batcave would only remind him.

Try as he might, he couldn't shake these thoughts. The thoughts spoke of Jon, they spoke of his innocence, his kindness, his hope and his heart. He closed his eyes but when he did so, he saw Jon, a big goofy smile on his face, Damian saw the sweet sparkle in his eyes and he heard Jon call his name "Damian?" That made his heart skip a beat.

He opened his eyes, breathing in before flipping over on his side and wrapping his arms around a pillow. The thoughts were getting worse they were getting painful. They told him he didn't deserve Jon, that it was wrong.. to feel this way about him.

Damian had been battling this feeling for.. quite some time now, and everytime he saw Jon it just kept getting stronger. This feeling was strange, it made his stomach ache a bit whenever he was with Jon, he felt a shiver everytime they touched, he felt warmth rush to his cheeks whenever he was with Jon, yet he resisted.

He was a trained assassin, raised from birth to be cold, unfeeling, distant and deadly. He wasn't supposed to be day dreaming about his partner in the midst of battle. The thoughts got worse.

Damian was a trained assassin, all the more reason for his thoughts to remind him.. he didn't deserve Jon. He took his first life at the age of 4, slitting a man's throat in one of the league of assassin's twisted rituals.

Damian was a killer, a murderer he was no better than the criminals he and Jon bring to justice each night. He didn't deserve Jon, he didn't deserve his kindness, his compassion, his friendship or his affection.

Yet these are things Damian craves, he wants Jon.. he's been wanting him for so long but he's resisted. He's corrupt, the bad egg in the family and he didn't want to ruin Jon. Jon deserves someone far better than him, someone who wasn't a killer, someone who could actually make Jon smile, laugh, someone who wasn't him.

He thought it was just built up tension between them, raging teen hormones causing him to think and act the way he does around his young partner.

He thought that throughout his life he never received genuine affection, he never felt love, he never felt warmth. He thought that when Jon was the first person to show him any form of affection, to show him friendship his body and mind overreacted so he decided to ignore them.

He decided to ignore the flush Jon's smile and goofy antics brought to his cheeks, the sparks that flew off his skin whenever they touched, the warmth he felt in his chest followed by slight discomfort in his stomach whenever he was to meet with Jon. He fought back the urge to touch Jon unnecessarily, to hold his hand, to wrap his arms around him to even look at him for too long because it would just hurt more.

Jon was his drug, his addiction. He couldn't get enough of him so he resisted getting any. Whenever he was with Jon he felt a euphoria, a certain high, he felt happiness and warmth whenever he was with the half-kryptonian. Yet he knew it was short-lived.

Whenever they were apart Damian felt a pain, a sharp pain in his chest which he couldn't explain. He had to stop himself before he developed a dependence on Jon, but by now.. it was too late he was already experiencing the withdrawal.

It hurt him now, even when he was with Jon for he knew he was with someone he could never truly be with. But he kept it all under wraps, no one noticed he was different when Jon was there, no one but Dick but to Damian, he wasn't important right now.

Damian thought it was an addiction to affection, similar to one being addicted to alcohol or cigarettes however.. that all changed but a few nights ago.

Damian remembered it all so clearly, oh yes. He remembers the night gave in. The way Jon peeled off his mask, he remembered meeting Jon's eyes the heat rushing to his cheeks. He remembers Jon's smile, he remembers the way he captivates him everytime they're together. He remember's Jon's arm on his shoulders, he remembers wrapping his arms around him. He remembers his mistake, his fault. He remembers the way he kissed Jon, pressing his lips against the younger boy, he remembers the way his body melted into Jon's how the world seemed to stand still for an eternity at that very moment. He remembered his soft delicate lips and the way how it fit perfectly with his own, he remember's Jon's sweet boyish musk how he could feel Jon's warmth radiate from his body. At that moment, Jon was his.. he didn't want it to end, he wanted to do more he wanted to be more with Jon but he knew he could't. So before too long he stopped.

He broke the kiss, he remembers staring into shock, the shocked eyes of Jon, the pang of regret and guilt immediately hitting him. He thanked Jon and disappeared into the night before he could cause more harm.

That night he realized what he felt wasn't addiction or anything like that.. he realized it was something.. far.. far worse. He realized that he had fallen in love with Jon and now.. this is only going to make things worse.

An obnoxiously loud and sing-songy ringtone broke him from his trance. Damian opened his eyes and saw his pillow, soaked in tears.

He sighed and turn flipped over, looking at his phone, he dreaded to see who it was. And lo and behold his fears came to fruition. It was Jon, fucking Jon. Sweet, innocent, lovable Jon. Damian spat.

He wiped a few tears streaming down his face, steadying his breath, dreading to hear Jon's voice before he finally answered.

"What is it, corncob?" Damian asked, his voice barely keeping steady.

"Uhm.. hey Damian, are you.. doing ok?" Jon asked, his voice shaky.

Hearing the genuine concern in Jon's voice made Damian's heart skip a beat. He clenched his sheets tightly.

"TT. Ofcourse I am. Why did you call?" He kept his responses as short as he could.

"I was just wondering if you could... meet me in front of the Gotham City Amusement park tonight. Oh and don't wear your costume" Jon said

Damian raised a brow

"Why would we need to meet there?" Damian asked

"I just thought that you and me could use some bonding, we spend almost all our time together crime fighting or training."

"And that's a bad thing.. why?" Damian asked

"Because! I want to spend more time with Damian Wayne, Superboy spends so much time with Robin and I got jealous. They might be best friends, but Jonathan Kent's best friend is still Damian Wayne. So uhm yeah." Jon answered.

"So you'd like to.. hang out with me?" Damian asked

"I mean, yeah. Plus I've always wanted to see the Gotham amusement park! Who better to see it with than you?" Jon said, excitedly.

"What about your parents?"

"Oh don't worry, my dad already said yes. So uhm yeah."

"I don't know Jon.."

"Awww please Damian? Pretty please with a cherry on top?" Jon asked sweetly.

Damian felt his cheeks flush a deep shade of red before answering. "Fine, see you at 6."

"Yay! See you in a few Damian! Bye!!!" Jon shouted excitedly into the phone making Damian pull away.

Damian relaxed, putting the phone down. He let's out a sigh his thoughts once more invading his mind.

"What have I gotten myself into?"

A/N: Yay another chapter, wooh and it's a day early. So yeah, like, comment and all that jazz or whatever I'm supposed to say here. But in all honesty, do comment if you want to ^^ suggestions or whatevs really help. Anyway, yeah. Till next time or something like that. Bye ^^ -Jason

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